Field Report- First date in my 40's

[Mazer]

Matched with a forty-one year old divorced Australian woman on Bumble. She had a real tight body and decent face. Met for drinks at the bar. I was 15min late due to traffic. I immediately started asking her a ton of questions, conversation flowed. A lot of kino and neg-hits. One akward pause but a woman with high interest will help you if she likes you, she noticed an awkward pause and quickly started talking about all kinds of bs.

She was feeling buzzed ( two drinks in) at this point in the date and she made it known. She made sure she told me that she never has a second drink if the date isnt going well. I was applying all kinds of kino, first I placed my arm on the back of her chair, then on her knee, then her upper back, finally on her leg. She asked me if I wanted to taste her drink. I said sure but let me taste it from your lips, pull her in and gave her a kiss. I am probably going to be using this line more, highly suggest you guys do the same and report back.

I started talking about her place and what it looks like, she told me that I wasnt coming over to her place tonight, I joked and said of course not baby! She kind of hinted maybe the next date or two.

She told me she wears her heart on her sleeve and then immediately had her hands all over me, rubbing my chest, telling me that I must have no problem getting sex from girls and what is it that I am looking for.

She starts to tell me that I am nice with a big smile on her face and I say to myself ohh **** here we go, I def wasnt putting out the nice guy vibe, anyway she meant nice as in refreshing, apparently has dated dudes with no chemistry. I was able to hold a conversation, be sexual.

I walked her to her apartment building, kino and talking sexually, kissed her good night because she wasnt letting me come up after all of my attempts.

She texted me the day after asking me how my day was going.

I kept it short, told her I was headed to dinner and we should stay in touch. I will reach out to her in a few days to setup another date

She does not have much family here, just moved here a year ago. I have noticed women who dont have too many friends or family around tend to really have high interest.

She also didnt understand the Divorce laws in this country. In Australia you dont pay alimony and ****. Seemed like she didnt like the USA system.

 

[Murk]

I agree, super smooth, that didn't read like it was your first date for a while. Why has it taken you so long? By the sounds of it you're very at home in the dating environment. She obviously liked you early on so you must have been doing it right. Use the momentum to line up a date with another chick and definitely bang Australian next week.

 

[Mazer]

Good report

The part about showing up 15 mins late due to traffic is good because it was true. No deliberate attempt to be disinterested in your part

Silent pauses are never awkward for me. Sometimes I delibarelty do this just to watch the discomfort it causes some people. Most women ramble on nervously after a while. If I keep it going long enough they’ll even demand with enlarged eyes that I “say something already!” to which I’ll jus carry on normally and make a remark that had nothing to do with anything they was previously said. It’s only ever awkward if you feel awkward about it. I personally feel right at home when it happens


Her remark about not having drinks was her way of telling you she’s feelin you. Like a reverse I like you.

The line about her drink and how you used it to kiss her was suuuuuupppperrrr fvcking smooth. Bold, decisive, witty, and good read on the situation so also smart. This girl decided at that point she’ll bang you. Now just a matter of when

The line about her not taking you back to her place was predictable and could’ve been disarmed a bit better but you still get a pass. I would’ve used that opportunity to fvck with her.

“Already thinking of taking me home are you? I’m not that easy you perv”

*laughs*

“Get back to me after our third drink”

Overall, everything was on point. And I agree with your assessment about women in new towns open to love. I’ve expressed this experience here before as well.

Love Australian Blondes with those accents which ironically aren’t even very feminine. Idk what it is

Good tips!

She mentioned that everyone always wants to talk about her accent. I did not, which she liked. In other words, dont harp on a bishes accent on your dates. It didnt bother me because I have dated many European women and they all have an accent. Polish accent is the worst though Lol.

 

[Mazer]

I agree, super smooth, that didn't read like it was your first date for a while. Why has it taken you so long? By the sounds of it you're very at home in the dating environment. She obviously liked you early on so you must have been doing it right. Use the momentum to line up a date with another chick and definitely bang Australian next week.

Didnt really date because I was engaged to a woman and busy with work. Broke off engagement, met some new bish, got the oneitis which led me here. The last year and half I have gotten back into the dating scene, mostly OLD. It was tough getting matches despite being a very attractive male. It wasnt until I updated my OLD photos with a shirtless pic showing my abs, thats when the matches started rolling in and less flakiness from women. Some guys choose to go into monk mode, I dont recommend that, what you need is to go on a ton of dates to gain more experience. Practice, practice, practice! I am working on a Colombian chick next.

 

[Mazer]

DATE #2

Met up at a local bar near her apartment. I was only five minutes late this time, really need to work on my tardiness. Her Uber dropped her off and she waited outside for me. I gave her a hug and we exchanged kisses on the cheek and I said "nice to meet you" lol. I have been on so many first dates the last couple of weeks that I made a mistake. She laughed it and said this is our second date silly. I told her, nice to meet you Again. Lol.

Anyway we walked into the bar. The bar/restaurant was really busy so I asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else (dont do what I did, a man always leads, my bad). She said it was okay and we can stand at the bar.

Drinks were being consumed, live acoustic music being played. I noticed that she wasnt as dolled up on the second date as she was on the first. Her face looked a little older this time around as well Lol. Its true what they say, there is nothing like a younger woman. Fresh fruit. Lol.

Started to kino, she kino in return. Went in for a kiss ten min in, she was feeling it. We sat down, had more drinks. We started talking about breakfast foods and I asked what would she make me for breakfast in the morning. She said "how are you so sure you are coming over tonight?" I told her I would slip her doorman to her building a twenty dollar bill to get me in. She laughed and started telling me that my touch is irresistable. Most guys are afraid to put their hands on her. KINO KINO KINO is critical guys!!

She talked about how she doesnt play games and doesnt follow the "3 date rule". She mentions that I seem like a good guy and im ****ing sexy. You must get sex from women all the time (second time she has mention that).

She started talking about how guys and girls have so many options with online dating thats why no one really settles down in a relationship. She is actually pretty cool to have conversation with.

I close out our tab, drive her to her apartment and invite myself in, no hesistation from her. We start making out on her couch, clothes come off, her body is in pristine shape, everything tight. We make our way to her bed where I start fingering her. I tend to like it a bit rough but she tells me to go softly.

Then she says "I dont think we should do this". I got out of bed, went to use the bathroom, came back and she said it again. I laid there for about 5 min and started to feel up on her again, hoping that she would get back in the mood, but she never did. She put her panties back on and asked me to stay the night. I waited 30min and told her i should get going, have work in the morning. She apologized and thanked me for understanding.

She texted me the following morning to ask me if I got home safe, and to apologize again and said I was such a gentleman.

Im going out with her one more time, if she doesnt put it on the 3rd date, she is done.

 

[AJ84]

DATE #2

Met up at a local bar near her apartment. I was only five minutes late this time, really need to work on my tardiness. Her Uber dropped her off and she waited outside for me. I gave her a hug and we exchanged kisses on the cheek and I said "nice to meet you" lol. I have been on so many first dates the last couple of weeks that I made a mistake. She laughed it and said this is our second date silly. I told her, nice to meet you Again. Lol.

Anyway we walked into the bar. The bar/restaurant was really busy so I asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else (dont do what I did, a man always leads, my bad). She said it was okay and we can stand at the bar.

Drinks were being consumed, live acoustic music being played. I noticed that she wasnt as dolled up on the second date as she was on the first. Her face looked a little older this time around as well Lol. Its true what they say, there is nothing like a younger woman. Fresh fruit. Lol.

Started to kino, she kino in return. Went in for a kiss ten min in, she was feeling it. We sat down, had more drinks. We started talking about breakfast foods and I asked what would she make me for breakfast in the morning. She said "how are you so sure you are coming over tonight?" I told her I would slip her doorman to her building a twenty dollar bill to get me in. She laughed and started telling me that my touch is irresistable. Most guys are afraid to put their hands on her. KINO KINO KINO is critical guys!!

She talked about how she doesnt play games and doesnt follow the "3 date rule". She mentions that I seem like a good guy and im ****ing sexy. You must get sex from women all the time (second time she has mention that).

She started talking about how guys and girls have so many options with online dating thats why no one really settles down in a relationship. She is actually pretty cool to have conversation with.

I close out our tab, drive her to her apartment and invite myself in, no hesistation from her. We start making out on her couch, clothes come off, her body is in pristine shape, everything tight. We make our way to her bed where I start fingering her. I tend to like it a bit rough but she tells me to go softly.

Then she says "I dont think we should do this". I got out of bed, went to use the bathroom, came back and she said it again. I laid there for about 5 min and started to feel up on her again, hoping that she would get back in the mood, but she never did. She put her panties back on and asked me to stay the night. I waited 30min and told her i should get going, have work in the morning. She apologized and thanked me for understanding.

She texted me the following morning to ask me if I got home safe, and to apologize again and said I was such a gentleman.

Im going out with her one more time, if she doesnt put it on the 3rd date, she is done.

So, this nice girl with an amazing body, who is cool to have a conversation with and let you get pretty far with her on the second date, stopped short of sex, apologized twice for it and wanted to make sure you got home ok will be dumped like yesterday's garbage if she doesn't have sex with you on the third date?

You're not a female so you don't know what it's like to think you have a connection with a guy (via good dates and conversation) only to realize that really, they just want to bust a nut in you as soon as they can and that's all that matters, there is no connection. I don't know what would be a comparable feeling for men. Probably being nice to a woman and thinking she is into you, only to realize she was trying to get close to your buddy by befriending you.

Anyway. This is why some women are cautious about getting close to men and letting their guard down, when they get dumped for not putting out by date two or three.

If you enjoy her company and her body why throw it all away if she's doesn't sleep with you on the third date? I can understand if there was a pattern of her frequently making out then stopping short of sex, in which case you could ask her what's going on if you wanted to see if there is some issue, or simply move on, but it's only been TWO dates.

I don't get it, some guys here complain about not finding quality non drama non selfish women but then are so quick to want to dump seemingly nice women if they aren't reverse cowgirling them by the second or third date.

 

[flowtheory]

Yea solid game. The tasting the drink off her lips was pro!

Why would a woman be tripping out and not want to have sex when she has already committed to it a little already?

 

[AJ84]

Yea solid game. The tasting the drink off her lips was pro!

Why would a woman be tripping out and not want to have sex when she has already committed to it a little already?

Because maybe she didn't intend to go that far but he was that good and she is that into him.

It happens, when he's hot and you really like what he's doing and you know you shouldn't go too fast but damn he's good so you let it go a bit more and then you gain control of your senses and stop lol.

Most of us don't intend to sleep with men right away because we know what lable that gives us but we get turned on like all humans and are weak sometimes when the guy is turning us on, so we stop before we let it get too far even though we want to have sex with them.

Women have more to consider when sleeping with a man right away, and potentially more to lose. Men don't need to worry about those things.

But for the OP, if he dumps her if she doesn't put out by date three, he won't know if she stopped because of those reasons and she will just assume he's an ahole.

 

[flowtheory]

Because maybe she didn't intend to go that far but he was that good and she is that into him.

It happens, when he's hot and you really like what he's doing and you know you shouldn't go too fast but damn he's good so you let it go a bit more and then you gain control of your senses and stop lol.

Most of us don't intend to sleep with men right away because we know what lable that gives us but we get turned on like all humans and are weak sometimes when the guy is turning us on, so we stop before we let it get too far even though we want to have sex with them.

Women have more to consider when sleeping with a man right away, and potentially more to lose. Men don't need to worry about those things.

But for the OP, if he dumps her if she doesn't put out by date three, he won't know if she stopped because of those reasons and she will just assume he's an ahole.

A couple weeks ago I was on a first date with this girl, went out for drinks and before I know it she’s in my bed and we’re naked. Then all of a sudden she says ‘I’m not feeling this’ which literally made no sense, because her body was saying different.
I don’t get why some women would just not enjoy the moment. Especially in today’s dating climate where it seems like this is the norm to jump in the sack so quick

 

[Tilex]

@Mazer

What are your methods of kino?
Give some examples you use in public and some examples used in the bedroom.

 

[flowtheory]

u didnt build enough rapport

Yea probably. I reallly didn’t care when she said that though. I was surprised how zen I was. It’s awesome to live with no expectations.

When she said it, I was like ‘hm okay. You feel how you feel’ and then I rolled out of bed, put my shirt and underwear on, then asked her if she wanted some chocolate and got her a cup of water, then I talked a bit with her while she was getting dressed and proceeded slowly to shuffle her towards the exit. It ended really well. Even she looked stunned and happy at the whole situation; probably the opposite of every scenario one would expect to happen in those circumstances.