Guys I'm really sorry to have annoyed you with so many dumb threads

[bigdave17]

I'm realizing how much of getting women is just common sense social skills. Just about every girl I've been really talking to recently likes me quite a bit because my confidence and attitude has been strong

I still haven't met anybody worth dating, mainly because I'm scared to approach the women I really want but I realize there is nothing difficult about dating. It's just about willing to approach and be okay with the proposition of rejection

My problem was that I had such a defeatist attitude hammered into my brain at a young age towards dating that I felt it was impossible...and then I saw what I wanted to see

 

[corrector]

Why are you apologizing for? Keep writing threads on here. You have unique insights with your tales of woe.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

My problem was that I had such a defeatist attitude hammered into my brain at a young age towards dating that I felt it was impossible...

Close but no cigar.

This very much sounds like a form of the "it's not my fault I suck..."

you believed what you wanted to believe because it made you feel safe. Nobody hammered anything into anybody's brain.

Pro Tip:

No girl is going to be attracted to ANY FORM OF "it's not my fault."

 

[bigdave17]

Why are you apologizing for? Keep writing threads on here. You have unique insights with your tales of woe.

no more tales of woe

Let's be realistic here, what I want is like top 0.1% of women. I can't be disappointed that I'm single when I want somebody so rare (in terms of not only being decent looking but all the other traits I need and only being open to a specific age window)

Tons of women would love to be with me but they don't fit all my requirements

 

[bigdave17]

Close but no cigar.

This very much sounds like a form of the "it's not my fault I suck..."

you believed what you wanted to believe because it made you feel safe. Nobody hammered anything into anybody's brain.

Pro Tip:

No girl is going to be attracted to ANY FORM OF "it's not my fault."

I did it to myself

I didn't say anybody hammered anything into my brain. I had a horrible childhood in terms of dating and destroyed my confidence

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I didn't say anybody hammered anything into my brain.

Believe or not the language you use indicates how you think about things.

My problem was that I had such a defeatist attitude hammered into my brain at a young age

You used the passive tense. "I had it hammered into my brain."

You may think you were "just saying," but consider that you used the passive tense in part because you truly believe some entity other than you is partially at fault.

Somebody that sucks at sports wouldn't say that.

They would say, "I sucked at a young age and I suck today. I never really put any effort into practicing to get any better."

You may think I'm slitting hairs, but most of your posts contain ideas of "it's not my fault I suck."

You can't change that thinking just be deciding to. That kind of deep defeatist attitude takes quite a lot of effort to get over.

Pretending won't help.

 

[bigdave17]

Believe or not the language you use indicates how you think about things.



You used the passive tense. "I had it hammered into my brain."

You may think you were "just saying," but consider that you used the passive tense in part because you truly believe some entity other than you is partially at fault.

Somebody that sucks at sports wouldn't say that.

They would say, "I sucked at a young age and I suck today. I never really put any effort into practicing to get any better."

You may think I'm slitting hairs, but most of your posts contain ideas of "it's not my fault I suck."

You can't change that thinking just be deciding to. That kind of deep defeatist attitude takes quite a lot of effort to get over.

Pretending won't help.

in high school, I was fat and it just destroyed my confidence with dating. I remember kids mocking me for my lack of dating life. Starting at that point, I continuously beat myself up and kept telling myself I would never meet anybody - even though I was in shape and good looking by college

Everything here was my fault - I would likely have a beautiful wife by now if I had a normal childhood and didn't allow myself to get fat and interacted with girls early on

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I would likely have a beautiful wife by now if I had a normal childhood

Sounds like a perfect excuse to not start now, get in the game, and continuously improve your skill.

If you were truly intending to improve yourself, the past wouldn't matter.

But if you are setting yourself to accept your horrid life and give yourself legitimate reasons why it's horrid, and it's going to stay horrid, the past is a fine place to start.

 

[bigdave17]

Sounds like a perfect excuse to not start now, get in the game, and continuously improve your skill.

If you were truly intending to improve yourself, the past wouldn't matter.

But if you are setting yourself to accept your horrid life and give yourself legitimate reasons why it's horrid, and it's going to stay horrid, the past is a fine place to start.

horrid life? Dude I'm a good looking, college educated, 29 year old dude with no kids making 150K a year. My life is better than 99.9999% of the world


with that being said, I want to meet someone and i've had many women recently who wanted to be with me but the problem is none of them fit my standards.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

horrid life? Dude I'm a good looking, college educated, 29 year old dude with no kids making 150K a year. My life is better than 99.9999% of the world

I apologize. Please forgive me. I'll leave you alone dear sir.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

horrid life? Dude I'm a good looking, college educated, 29 year old dude with no kids making 150K a year. My life is better than 99.9999% of the world


with that being said, I want to meet someone and i've had many women recently who wanted to be with me but the problem is none of them fit my standards.

You have been so focused on making your life that you haven't been able to know how to deal with women, whereas all they know how to do is attract men. We shouldn't have to focus on this, we should just focus on making ourselves and having them put themselves around us. But the problem is that society has shifted the dynamics to where stuff is no longer natural anymore. Has nothing to do with lowering testosterone or anything like that, that is just a symptom of a greater issue.

Glad you were able to realize this. Dealings with women really are just a different branch of social skills.

 

[BeExcellent]

It's just about willing to approach and be okay with the proposition of rejection

My problem was that I had such a defeatist attitude hammered into my brain at a young age towards dating that I felt it was impossible...and then I saw what I wanted to see

This is good progress. Keep it up and keep looking at where you are now versus where you started. It can take some time to re-program your mind when you've had a self-defeating attitude. Chicks are human, even the best ones. Nobody is perfect. Keep doing what you are doing and you'll internalize that more and more...and positive results will follow.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is good progress. Keep it up and keep looking at where you are now versus where you started. It can take some time to re-program your mind when you've had a self-defeating attitude. Chicks are human, even the best ones. Nobody is perfect. Keep doing what you are doing and you'll internalize that more and more...and positive results will follow.

Like I've been saying, they are ALL someone's sister or daughter, nothing magical at all. A lot of us need re-wiring...

 

[CMNILS87]

Close but no cigar.

This very much sounds like a form of the "it's not my fault I suck..."

you believed what you wanted to believe because it made you feel safe. Nobody hammered anything into anybody's brain.

Pro Tip:

No girl is going to be attracted to ANY FORM OF "it's not my fault."

Defeatist attitude instilled on you as a kid????? Like treat women like princesses or what?

 

[Masculinity]

I'm realizing how much of getting women is just common sense social skills. Just about every girl I've been really talking to recently likes me quite a bit because my confidence and attitude has been strong

I still haven't met anybody worth dating, mainly because I'm scared to approach the women I really want but I realize there is nothing difficult about dating. It's just about willing to approach and be okay with the proposition of rejection

My problem was that I had such a defeatist attitude hammered into my brain at a young age towards dating that I felt it was impossible...and then I saw what I wanted to see

With thousands of single, attractive women out there, I don't get why some guys seek to "steal" women from their boyfriends.

 

[zekko]

I would likely have a beautiful wife by now if I had a normal childhood and didn't allow myself to get fat and interacted with girls early on

Or you could be divorced and paying child support, who knows?

horrid life? Dude I'm a good looking, college educated, 29 year old dude with no kids making 150K a year. My life is better than 99.9999% of the world

You forgot to mention your penis size this time. But it's good that you are at least appreciating what you have, hang on to that. This thread kind of sums up you posting history. It's a combination of woe is me and look how great I am.