She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That's funny.
I think it helps to have a bit of an edge to be older and pull chics in their early to mid 20's. I used to be involved in the rap and metal scene and myself and a few guys would go in and smoke, drink, record and get a party going about the time we were wrapping up recording and my cousin was in a metal band and there would be a bunch of hang around at their band practices and shows. That and me and my other cousin throw bonfire parties and meet them that way. Outside of that I'm not really sure how you would go about it. My last 3 ltr's were 26, 27 and 25, when we met. I met them partying, but the partying ended up being a really small part of the relationship after that. Two of the last few I smashed were 20 and 23. Met them on FB/Messenger and ended up partying.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
that's what I want though
I want to start a family with a 36 or 37 year old, not a 24 year old.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.