I want to start this off with a disclaimer. It's important to understand that the bulk of the information around women on this site is true, most of the time. If you're where I was over ten years ago, unattractive, poor, zero confidence and lost, it's probably better to stick with the advice on here because most of the time it's going to serve you well. Do not take the rest of this post as an excuse to keep chasing your oneitis. Do not use this post to convince yourself you can get that girl with some insane romantic gesture. This post is about nuance, and if you're young and inexperienced with women, you simply won't be able to spot it. And if you're ever in doubt, JUST WORK ON YOURSELF!
Logical fallacy - False Dilemma :
"Description: When only two choices are presented yet more exist, or a spectrum of possible choices exists between two extremes. False dilemmas are usually characterized by “either this or that” language, but can also be characterized by omissions of choices. Another variety is the false trilemma, which is when three choices are presented when more exist."
If there's one thing the advice on this forum is, it's black and white. ALWALT is thrown around like gospel, dump the girl after she cancels once, next the girl if she doesn't put out on the third date. The list goes on and on. Just a few days ago there was a thread about a guy who scored a virgin that was full of guys who'd told him to next her. If I'd followed the advice given around here to the extreme, I'd have never scored my partner, easily the best woman I've been with in my life. Now, that's not to say everything will always be perfect, that she's a unicorn who won't **** me over. But she's BETTER than an AVERAGE woman, because guess what? People are really complicated. There's a massive spectrum of quality that can vary on what we each individually value as guys. But the important point is, while for the most part I still live by the rules put out here, I used my judgement and applied some wiggle room to an exception and it paid off for ME. I got what I wanted. Isn't that the goal? Not to be alpha, not to score a hundred 10's, to get what YOU want.
There are some universal truths on this site. Always improve yourself. Every woman is capable of screwing you over. Every woman is to some degree a slave to her biology. Confidence is universally attractive. Physical beauty is universally attractive. Good sex is universally sought after. HOWEVER, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rules. ALWAYS. Every woman may be capable of screwing you over, but some will do it in a heartbeat and others will only do it if you spend five years being a beta chump. Confidence is always attractive but too much can be egotistical and that can be a turn off. Physical beauty is attractive but sometimes humor is more important.
Sometimes you don't want to put your foot down and be alpha. Sometimes women need a gentle touch. This one alone has gotten me into so much trouble over the years. We should be focused on eliciting emotion, why do we only ever read about the NEGATIVE emotions? Sometimes being incredibly kind to your waiter can create incredible amounts of attraction. Sometimes telling a woman you feel close to her can make her wetter than a bad boy on a Harley. It's important to use EXTREME moderation, but I've found many instances where examples like this have worked for me. There are no absolutes.
So it's really important to understand that while most of the time, if a woman doesn't sleep with you after x dates, she's probably not interested, that it's not always true. Most of the time if a woman cancels dates, she's probably not interested, but that's not always true. In general, the advice you read around here is great. I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't. But I've missed countless opportunities over the years because I held the concepts up to a true or false standard. Sometimes you need to do that, sometimes you need to take a step back and realize people are complicated, and that there is a huge spectrum of quality with women, and that maybe holding the strategies on here to a true or false standard is hurting you rather than helping.
Most of all, it's important to analyze your strategies and successes yourself. You need to figure out what works and what doesn't and what attracts the women you want. Test the theories and be critical about them. See to what DEGREE things are true rather than just accepting them as ALWAYS true. Then hopefully you can get the success that YOU want.
Logical fallacy - False Dilemma :
"Description: When only two choices are presented yet more exist, or a spectrum of possible choices exists between two extremes. False dilemmas are usually characterized by “either this or that” language, but can also be characterized by omissions of choices. Another variety is the false trilemma, which is when three choices are presented when more exist."
If there's one thing the advice on this forum is, it's black and white. ALWALT is thrown around like gospel, dump the girl after she cancels once, next the girl if she doesn't put out on the third date. The list goes on and on. Just a few days ago there was a thread about a guy who scored a virgin that was full of guys who'd told him to next her. If I'd followed the advice given around here to the extreme, I'd have never scored my partner, easily the best woman I've been with in my life. Now, that's not to say everything will always be perfect, that she's a unicorn who won't **** me over. But she's BETTER than an AVERAGE woman, because guess what? People are really complicated. There's a massive spectrum of quality that can vary on what we each individually value as guys. But the important point is, while for the most part I still live by the rules put out here, I used my judgement and applied some wiggle room to an exception and it paid off for ME. I got what I wanted. Isn't that the goal? Not to be alpha, not to score a hundred 10's, to get what YOU want.
There are some universal truths on this site. Always improve yourself. Every woman is capable of screwing you over. Every woman is to some degree a slave to her biology. Confidence is universally attractive. Physical beauty is universally attractive. Good sex is universally sought after. HOWEVER, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rules. ALWAYS. Every woman may be capable of screwing you over, but some will do it in a heartbeat and others will only do it if you spend five years being a beta chump. Confidence is always attractive but too much can be egotistical and that can be a turn off. Physical beauty is attractive but sometimes humor is more important.
Sometimes you don't want to put your foot down and be alpha. Sometimes women need a gentle touch. This one alone has gotten me into so much trouble over the years. We should be focused on eliciting emotion, why do we only ever read about the NEGATIVE emotions? Sometimes being incredibly kind to your waiter can create incredible amounts of attraction. Sometimes telling a woman you feel close to her can make her wetter than a bad boy on a Harley. It's important to use EXTREME moderation, but I've found many instances where examples like this have worked for me. There are no absolutes.
So it's really important to understand that while most of the time, if a woman doesn't sleep with you after x dates, she's probably not interested, that it's not always true. Most of the time if a woman cancels dates, she's probably not interested, but that's not always true. In general, the advice you read around here is great. I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't. But I've missed countless opportunities over the years because I held the concepts up to a true or false standard. Sometimes you need to do that, sometimes you need to take a step back and realize people are complicated, and that there is a huge spectrum of quality with women, and that maybe holding the strategies on here to a true or false standard is hurting you rather than helping.
Most of all, it's important to analyze your strategies and successes yourself. You need to figure out what works and what doesn't and what attracts the women you want. Test the theories and be critical about them. See to what DEGREE things are true rather than just accepting them as ALWAYS true. Then hopefully you can get the success that YOU want.
