I hate how you guys tell people to take care of themselves and dating automatically follows

[bigdave17]

You're expecting way too much of other people. I believe you when you say you're a very empathetic and caring person but you are so far on that spectrum that you're tremendously disappointed when people don't give that same kind of attention back to you. People just aren't like that man. What you have to do is start directing all that giving and effort you've put into others and trying to get others to like or love you and start feeling that way about yourself. People will always disappoint you when your standards are as high as they are. You've got to be more realistic about what to expect from others.

what are you talking about?

I have 10 to 15 close friends and they are fantastic in how they treat me. My family is wonderful also. I have 2 gorgeous sisters who are beyond amazing.

My life outside of dating is impossibly stagerringly perfect. Dating has just always been a miserable struggle

 

[Mike32ct]

How tall are you?

Just curious.

 

[playa99]

You take care of yourself first because that's what any human being should be doing.

Women having higher interest in you naturally follows because your SMV invariably goes up as you improve.

To complement this you should also be improving your 'game'

Therefore there must be something else there. You say you feel lonely & miserable. You may not consciously project this, but it may come across subconsciously.

If your life is as perfect as you say, you are the prize. You look great, have money & a great personality.

What does your typical approach look like?

 

[marmel75]

last Saturday I approached 3 women at a bar, I couldn't even get to a point of asking for a number. If I did, it would have been a hideous instant rejection - they clearly wanted nothing to do with me

I try to go out all the time and I approach women whenever I can. I don't approach during the day because I live in the suburbs and only girls my age I see are at the gym (none of whom ever want to be approached by some idiot like me)

I don't do online dating because women on those sites are strictly looking for the white perfect looking male model types so I'm not looking to be extremely demoralized by getting rejected 500,000,000 times (not that rejection is big deal to me but mass rejection like that makes it tough to keep spirits up)

Ok, at least that is a start. Bars are notorious for chicks having their ***** shield up...next time you are out at a bar try this instead...

Hang out by the bar with a drink in your hand and lean back and relax and just start up random conversations with women as they come get drinks, or better yet wait Until some dude approaches and gets shot down and then make a funny comment about it like "Wow...I can't believe he went with that line...that was so lame!" And start laughing and she will laugh with you and be like "I know!" And just continue from there.

In effect you are not doing a "pickup" you are just having a normal conversation with them...much easier to get traction.

But 3 is nothing. You need need 10 or 15 times that many and id advise that youe outlook online is all wrong. Pics matter a LOT online but profiles matter more than what people think too...

You sound like you are pressing...women pick that vibe up very well whether you think you are giving ot off or not it comes across in your body language...you need to relax and you need to have fun.

 

[derby1]

op over analyzes everything

I wear a 5 pound jumper and a 3 pound round neck T shirt if i go out

When you stop caring......... Results come

 

[bigdave17]

You take care of yourself first because that's what any human being should be doing.

Women having higher interest in you naturally follows because your SMV invariably goes up as you improve.

To complement this you should also be improving your 'game'

Therefore there must be something else there. You say you feel lonely & miserable. You may not consciously project this, but it may come across subconsciously.

If your life is as perfect as you say, you are the prize. You look great, have money & a great personality.

What does your typical approach look like?

just normal conversation, ask them how their night is going, try to keep the conversation focused on what they like to talk about

I don't talk about myself unless it makes sense within context of conversation and I don't ever brag

 

[bigdave17]

Ok, at least that is a start. Bars are notorious for chicks having their ***** shield up...next time you are out at a bar try this instead...

Hang out by the bar with a drink in your hand and lean back and relax and just start up random conversations with women as they come get drinks, or better yet wait Until some dude approaches and gets shot down and then make a funny comment about it like "Wow...I can't believe he went with that line...that was so lame!" And start laughing and she will laugh with you and be like "I know!" And just continue from there.

In effect you are not doing a "pickup" you are just having a normal conversation with them...much easier to get traction.

But 3 is nothing. You need need 10 or 15 times that many and id advise that youe outlook online is all wrong. Pics matter a LOT online but profiles matter more than what people think too...

online dating is impossible unless you are a perfect looking white male

even ethnic women on dating sites prefer white men. The fukked up thing is that I'm not even dark skinned - I have a very nice light olive complexion but even that is not enough

edit: I am never "hitting on women". I don't care about getting laid, I'm just looking for a quality girl.

 

[playa99]

Ok, at least that is a start. Bars are notorious for chicks having their ***** shield up...next time you are out at a bar try this instead...

Hang out by the bar with a drink in your hand and lean back and relax and just start up random conversations with women as they come get drinks, or better yet wait Until some dude approaches and gets shot down and then make a funny comment about it like "Wow...I can't believe he went with that line...that was so lame!" And start laughing and she will laugh with you and be like "I know!" And just continue from there.

In effect you are not doing a "pickup" you are just having a normal conversation with them...much easier to get traction.

But 3 is nothing. You need need 10 or 15 times that many and id advise that youe outlook online is all wrong. Pics matter a LOT online but profiles matter more than what people think too...

You sound like you are pressing...women pick that vibe up very well whether you think you are giving ot off or not it comes across in your body language...you need to relax and you need to have fun.

@bigdave17 in a bar setting, this is solid advice!

 

[marmel75]

online dating is impossible unless you are a perfect looking white male

even ethnic women on dating sites prefer white men. The fukked up thing is that I'm not even dark skinned - I have a very nice light olive complexion but even that is not enough

edit: I am never "hitting on women". I don't care about getting laid, I'm just looking for a quality girl.

That's bullcrap about OLD...I'm far from perfect looking but I killed it online.

 

[bigdave17]

That's bullcrap about OLD...I'm far from perfect looking but I killed it online.

how many of them were anything decent? (I don't even consider it a success unless you're getting mid to late 20s professional, intelligent, cute, classy, fit, super nice women with no kids)

 

[marmel75]

online dating is impossible unless you are a perfect looking white male

even ethnic women on dating sites prefer white men. The fukked up thing is that I'm not even dark skinned - I have a very nice light olive complexion but even that is not enough

edit: I am never "hitting on women". I don't care about getting laid, I'm just looking for a quality girl.

If you aren't "hitting" on women that's your first problem. Your mindset is all wrong.

 

[marmel75]

how many of them were anything decent? (I don't even consider it a success unless you're getting mid to late 20s professional, intelligent, cute, classy, fit, super nice women with no kids)

Most of them. I don't do skanks and I don't do kids unless she is super hot. And I sure as hell don't do anything over 150-160 lbs and thats if they are like 5'7" or 5'8"

 

[bigdave17]

If you aren't "hitting" on women that's your first problem. Your mindset is all wrong.

elaborate

95% of the time there is no traction to be able to get any real conversation going anyways. I get blown out immediately

 

[marmel75]

elaborate

Mens job is to bang women. Womens job is to get men into relationships. When you atrmwpt to play a woman's role it comes off as very unattractive to a woman. Women want you to try and bang them and they want to know they are desired by you and You want to bang them.

Of arent giving off this vibe they are likely giving you the gay friend treatment.

 

[btownbuck2012]

what are you talking about?

I have 10 to 15 close friends and they are fantastic in how they treat me. My family is wonderful also. I have 2 gorgeous sisters who are beyond amazing.

My life outside of dating is impossibly stagerringly perfect. Dating has just always been a miserable struggle

I was referring to women, dude. This idea you have that having a relationship with a woman will suddenly transform you from this miserable person to someone who's happy and content 24/7 proves you have no idea what women really even are. There aren't some magic potion or a feel good all day pill. You are expecting and getting angry at them for not providing you with something that they are literally incapable of providing. If your life is so great, you should be much happy and more content than you are now with or WITHOUT a relationship. You claim you can get laid. I call BS on that. You have something else going on that you're not telling us about.

 

[bigdave17]

Mens job is to bang women. Womens job is to get men into relationships. When you atrmwpt to play a woman's role it comes off as very unattractive to a woman. Women want you to try and bang them and they want to know they are desired by you and You want to bang them.

Of arent giving off this vibe they are likely giving you the gay friend treatment.

dude I love sex, I am not saying I don't want to have sex with these women but I don't even want somebody who will have sex with me first night anyways. I want somebody who would make me wait until the 2nd or 3rd date. I am looking for someone who fits what I want. I don't care about quantity, I'm all about quality

this is all nonsense anyways. I don't ever get dates and 95% of the time, I get blown out immediately before I even have a chance to get any kind of traction

 

[bigdave17]

I was referring to women, dude. This idea you have that having a relationship with a woman will suddenly transform you from this miserable person to someone who's happy and content 24/7 proves you have no idea what women really even are. There aren't some magic potion or a feel good all day pill. You are expecting and getting angry at them for not providing you with something that they are literally incapable of providing. If your life is so great, you should be much happy and more content than you are now with or WITHOUT a relationship. You claim you can get laid. I call BS on that. You have something else going on that you're not telling us about.

I am very happy when I'm not thinking about dating. I think you misunderstood my post that I'm miserable 24-7, I am not

I don't expect a woman to radically change my life, my life is absolutely awesome. I just expect her to compliment it

It's hard to explain to people how miserable it is to be 29 and never have any meaningful relationship with the opposite gender. When you have a love life, you take it for granted. It's like a kid being born into rich family trying to tell a starving kid in Ethiopia that food and money are overrated. There's a reason that no forever aloner kid is ever mentally healthy and balanced - we are not solitary animals. We need both platonic and romantic companionship to feel mentally balanced

 

[Bible_Belt]

we are not solitary animals. We need both platonic and romantic companionship to feel mentally balanced

So get a dog and go bang some wh0res....not with the dog.....well maybe unless they're into that sort of thing.

 

[Asasione]

I am very happy when I'm not thinking about dating. I think you misunderstood my post that I'm miserable 24-7, I am not

I don't expect a woman to radically change my life, my life is absolutely awesome. I just expect her to compliment it

It's hard to explain to people how miserable it is to be 29 and never have any meaningful relationship with the opposite gender. When you have a love life, you take it for granted. It's like a kid being born into rich family trying to tell a starving kid in Ethiopia that food and money are overrated. There's a reason that no forever aloner kid is ever mentally healthy and balanced - we are not solitary animals. We need both platonic and romantic companionship to feel mentally balanced

I don't buy what you're selling with these my life is awesome statements. It's not congruent with your behavior. You can't have meaningful relationships or conversations with women because that's what you're aiming for, women don't want a man that wants to be in a relationship. They want a guy they have to convince to enter into a relationship. It's counter to your desires and I'm sure you won't get it but that's how it is. I never wanted to be in a relationship neither do I want one right now but women always want to get me into one and proclaim their affection and all that crap when I'm involved with them.

If women enjoy your company and you display desirable qualities and here's the kicker, you're not interested in a relationship, they get off on trying to be the one to get you. You're the complete opposite, a lame provider type that is desperate for a relationship, and I bet that shows in the types of conversations and vibe you give off. Women can smell that sh!t. They know what you want. So I will say it again set your ego aside and realize this is a skill that must be learned and forsake the idea of relationships and coincidentally that's what will get you in one but only when you don't give a fvck and they love you for what you offer

 

[bigdave17]

I don't buy what you're selling with these my life is awesome statements. It's not congruent with your behavior. You can't have meaningful relationships or conversations with women because that's what you're aiming for, women don't want a man that wants to be in a relationship. They want a guy they have to convince to enter into a relationship. It's counter to your desires and I'm sure you won't get it but that's how it is. I never wanted to be in a relationship neither do I want one right now but women always want to get me into one and proclaim their affection and all that crap when I'm involved with them.

If women enjoy your company and you display desirable qualities and here's the kicker, you're not interested in a relationship, they get off on trying to be the one to get you. You're the complete opposite, a lame provider type that is desperate for a relationship, and I bet that shows in the types of conversations and vibe you give off. Women can smell that sh!t. They know what you want. So I will say it again set your ego aside and realize this is a skill that must be learned and forsake the idea of relationships and coincidentally that's what will get you in one but only when you don't give a fvck and they love you for what you offer

I think what you are saying is another version of "it will happen when you stop caring and stop trying so hard, desperation is extremely repulsive, etc..." That's not a bad point

What I'm telling you is I'm getting blown out immediately, it's not like these women are getting to know what I want and are rejecting me after. I am not even getting a chance to showcase my personality because there is zero traction

I'm not going into these situations looking to marry someone. The goal is to have a fun interaction and see if you have a good chemistry, then you just go from there. I agree that if I'm desperate for a relationship, it's a huge turnoff