I absolutely hate dating

[bigdave17]

I don't meet anybody worthwhile (mid 20s attractive classy and no kids) in my daily routine so I have to cold approach in places like bars and clubs and gyms, where the level of difficulty in terms of just getting a date is beyond absurd. I can't do online dating because the women in my league on those sites are looking for professional athletes and male movie stars as a result of receiving 80 billion messages a day.

And the screwed up thing is that I'm a good looking, fit, extraordinarily successful male with a naturally masculine voice/mannerisms/presence. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for men who are fat or feminine or broke

How has the human race existed to this point with how difficult women are to deal with? I feel like I'm wasting the best years of my life too - I'm in the absolute best state of my life in terms of mind, body, friends, family, finances, etc... and I still feel lonely because I can't meet anybody halfway decent who wants to be with me.

I'm 28

 

[bigdave17]

Found your problem.

Social scene game is king.

I make friends everywhere I go

but I have horrific luck in terms of meeting women through friends. None of the people I meet know any girls who are my type

 

[bigdave17]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/social-scene-game.242047/

what you are saying makes sense - meet women doing things you enjoy doing but that's not nearly as easy as you think

One of my favorite things is working out but meeting women at the gym? Good luck bypassing their headphones and their defensive attitude. Meeting women at sporting events? Vast vast majority are their with their boyfriends - single women don't go to sporting events. Meeting women at concerts - they all come with 10 friends so trying to figure out who is single and who is not is brutally difficult - approaching is very difficult in general.

 

[Glassguy]

If you're in your mid 20s and having problems, you better get that straight before you hit 30. It gets harder if you don't know how to meet women.

90% of the women I date are through ME approaching. I don't rely on friends or their gfs to find dates for me. It's on my social skills.

If you get it worked out, the women in their late 20s and early 30s are EASY to pull.

 

[bigdave17]

If you're in your mid 20s and having problems, you better get that straight before you hit 30. It gets harder if you don't know how to meet women.

90% of the women I date are through ME approaching. I don't rely on friends or their gfs to find dates for me. It's on my social skills.

If you get it worked out, the women in their late 20s and early 30s are EASY to pull.

Randomly approaching women at bars/clubs/gyms/stores is insanely difficult. There's a good reason 95% of men meet their wives through natural routine (friends, work, school) - because randomly approaching women is a monster rejection rate. You can't even do online dating either if you're not ok dating overweight women, women over 30 or single moms. Quality women online are looking for damn near professional athletes.


When you don't meet anybody naturally, you are basically in my situation

 

[bigdave17]

I empathize, unfortunately you will have to pick new interests that women are more into.

like what?

There are no normal masculine interests that single women really enjoy. I'm into lifting weights, playing football, watching baseball, action movies, etc...

The closest thing I would say to a unisex or even female dominated hobby I enjoy is music genres like EDM and Country music. I enjoy going to those concerts but meeting anybody there is very difficult.

 

[Bible_Belt]

95% of men meet their wives through natural routine (friends, work, school)

That statistic came 99% out of thin air.

 

[bigdave17]

Ok, so keep in mind:

1. I also lift a lot but suck at cold approaching in the gym

2. Very very mediocre in clubs

3. Impossibly bad in online dating sites

Yet I am successful via the following:

1. Church

2. Making female platonic friends that want to set me up

3. Night classes

4. Day game

5. Social Circles that have women

6. Facebook mutual friends

church - not religious at all, would never want to date a religious chick

making platonic friends - good at this but never meet anybody quality

night classes - I work 50-60 hours a week, I don't have time

day game - can you elaborate?

I make friends all the time, no luck with meeting women

no facebook for me

 

[BeExcellent]

Two words:

Two step.

If you like country music, learn 2 step and swing dancing. You'll meet plenty of hot women particularly once you get good enough to go to the night clubs and dance. Ditto Latin dancing like salsa & cha cha. Women want to dance with good dancers and their aren't all that many. Hot women will ask you to dance if you're good. It becomes effortless to meet women.

I met my ex husband because he owned the venue I frequented for swing/Latin/ballroom and he could dance incredibly well also.

The man I'm currently seeing I met at a Latin night for salsa. He was the best dancer there as a salsa dancer 20+ years (like me, lol).

So dancing can introduce you to hot women.

Absolutely.

 

[Trump]

I don't meet anybody worthwhile (mid 20s attractive classy and no kids) in my daily routine so I have to cold approach in places like bars and clubs and gyms, where the level of difficulty in terms of just getting a date is beyond absurd. I can't do online dating because the women in my league on those sites are looking for professional athletes and male movie stars as a result of receiving 80 billion messages a day.

If they are looking for professional athletes and movie stars, they are not in your league.

And the screwed up thing is that I'm a good looking, fit, extraordinarily successful male with a naturally masculine voice/mannerisms/presence. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for men who are fat or feminine or broke

How has the human race existed to this point with how difficult women are to deal with? I feel like I'm wasting the best years of my life too - I'm in the absolute best state of my life in terms of mind, body, friends, family, finances, etc... and I still feel lonely because I can't meet anybody halfway decent who wants to be with me.

I'm 28

Once you graduate college, you basically got 4 years to find a woman and get married. After 26, it's very very very hard to meet women who want to settle down, no matter how good looking or fit or rich you are.

 

[bigdave17]

If they are looking for professional athletes and movie stars, they are not in your league.

I'm about a 7/10 face wise, close to 9 or 10/10 body, 10/10 fashion sense
make 160K a year at 28
great social circle
great lifestyle


The exact female version of that on a dating site is looking for a professional athlete is my point

Once you graduate college, you basically got 4 years to find a woman and get married. After 26, it's very very very hard to meet women who want to settle down, no matter how good looking or fit or rich you are.

hhhmmmm, why do you say this?

Most men date somebody younger so wouldn't it be perfect for a 28-34 year old man to date a 24-27 year old woman?

 

[guru1000]

Once you graduate college, you basically got 4 years to find a woman and get married. After 26, it's very very very hard to meet women who want to settle down, no matter how good looking or fit or rich you are.

Trump,

You knew Guru would intercede after such a statement. What's going in your dating life pal, is everything alright?

Would it surprise you to know that settling down and attracting "quality" women between 24-34 yo in the 8/9/10 range has never been easier than now in my early 40s?

Care to reconcile that?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I don't meet anybody worthwhile (mid 20s attractive classy and no kids) in my daily routine so I have to cold approach in places like bars and clubs and gyms, where the level of difficulty in terms of just getting a date is beyond absurd. I can't do online dating because the women in my league on those sites are looking for professional athletes and male movie stars as a result of receiving 80 billion messages a day.

And the screwed up thing is that I'm a good looking, fit, extraordinarily successful male with a naturally masculine voice/mannerisms/presence. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for men who are fat or feminine or broke

How has the human race existed to this point with how difficult women are to deal with? I feel like I'm wasting the best years of my life too - I'm in the absolute best state of my life in terms of mind, body, friends, family, finances, etc... and I still feel lonely because I can't meet anybody halfway decent who wants to be with me.

I'm 28

You could try holding up a cardboard sign at a busy intersection??

 

[Bible_Belt]

make 160K a year at 28

Good for you. I certainly don't. But if I told you that such a thing was impossible for the rest of us, employers have too high of standards, the system is rigged and it's one big conspiracy against me and THAT is the real reason that I don't make $160k/yr, how would you respond to that? I think you would tell me I was full of sh!t and making excuses, and the answer to my problem was to work harder.

 

[bigdave17]

Good for you. I certainly don't. But if I told you that such a thing was impossible for the rest of us, employers have too high of standards, the system is rigged and it's one big conspiracy against me and THAT is the real reason that I don't make $160k/yr, how would you respond to that? I think you would tell me I was full of sh!t and making excuses, and the answer to my problem was to work harder.

I'm well aware that I'm in the top 0.001% of people to be able to make the money I make even under 35, much less under 30. I think if you're 30 years old and you can make 65-80K a year and you're reasonable about finances, you're doing a great job overall. I'm just fortunate enough to be very very good at sales - combination of my intelligence, good with numbers, very strong work ethic and I'm very likable, instantly likable actually.


Realistically, I would be happy dating a woman even making 40-50K if she was decent with finances and was not a horrible overspender

 

[Bible_Belt]

IIm very likable, instantly likable actually.

You certainly seem to like yourself a lot, I'll give you that. You're not the greatest at understanding metaphors, though.

 

[bigdave17]

You certainly seem to like yourself a lot, I'll give you that. You're not the greatest at understanding metaphors, though.

I understood your metaphor after reading it a second time


but it's not necessarily accurate because my work situation is an extreme scenario that's not applicable to most normal situations

 

[corrector]

See above I added more stuff

But you did not elaborate on "day-game". This would include cashiers, people checking out produce in a supermarket, asking random women for the time, going to a bookstore or library or making eye contact and saying hi to women in public, etc.... you mentioned you were successful at "day game". Could you elaborate on what your focus was on day-game venues of meeting women, did you go after hired guns or mainly focused on other shoppers or people walking around, type of closes, and overall success rate. I think that was what bigdave17 was trying to ask you.

Personally, I feel the exact same way as bigdave17. It's gone to such a level with me that I would rather download TV-shows on Netflix on my Tablet, carry around big earphones, and watch my own TV when I go out to the GYM or in public and just zone-out of the whole approach women thing in public. That is what you do when there is zero chance of meeting someone because of the reasons the OP mentioned.

That being said, one lady did comment on what I was watching on Netflix saying that that was her favorite show too. While it didn't go anywhere, I did make a connection with someone, I didn't expect passively watching a TV show on the tablet could be a conversation starter. You may attract a woman that may like the same thing you like watching.