I’m physically disabled and don’t know how to tell this to my girlfriend abroad who wants to meet up

[dloverboy28]

I’m way past my prime and having a hard time in finding someone. The main problem is not because I’m some sort of awkward introvert but more of the fact that I am disabled.


Because of this, I can’t seem to find someone who would want to stay with me. Finding romance in person has obviously failed me so I’ve tried different ways to find a girl, including online dating. This is where I found a woman who I can actually say might be the one from a dating site called loveme.


We’ve been talking for about a couple of months now and she’s been telling me that she wants to meet. She’s from Ukraine and I’m from Washington. She’s planning on coming here to the United States for a vacation, and really wants to see me.


I haven’t really told her about my disability because I could never find the way to open it up. I really like this woman, and I’m not the kind of guy who can easily attract someone. I’m honestly afraid at the thought of losing her, and my disability might be the reason.


She’s going to book a plane ticket soon and I’m torn. It’ll be a waste of time and money, but seeing her in person would mean the world to me. I just don’t know how to bring this up with her because I don’t want to hassle her life with having me around.


Every day I grow fonder of my girlfriend, and would do anything for her but just imagining her reaction is starting to scare me more every day. I really need some help with how to open this up with her and how I can deal with things if she ever rejects me. HELP!!!

 

[Atom Smasher]

You have to tell her before she comes over, as you probably know. The problem with online writing is that both people bond with an idealized view of each other. They like and are intrigued by the tip of the iceberg that is revealed, but they fill in the blanks (the things they don't know about the person) with an idealized image.

I would just mention it directly without a long explanation. "I want to tell you that I have [insert condition here]."

I would suggest not calling it a "disability".

These Ukraine women are a lot to handle. They usually have high demands about how they are treated as a lady. Tthe outcome is already written in stone, an outcome that is unknown to us but will depend on her personality and your chemistry with her. There is absolutely nothing you can do to affect her response, so you might as well just get it out there and get it over with. What will be, will be depending on the realities of that chemistry and her personality.

You are living in limbo right now, the place that no man should be, perceiving uncertainty and torturing yourself. Get it over with because knowledge of the outcome, even if it is not the desired outcome, is far better than limbo. This uncertainty is eating at you. Attain certainty.
If she responds well, then great. If she responds poorly, then you have only discovered the inevitable and you have the practice of writing to her under your belt.

Just get yourself out of that torture. Tell her plainly without going into agonizing detail. Women usually react to a man's attitudes. If a man expresses fear and uncertainty in her presence, she will feel the same. If he projects confidence and self-assuredness, she will feel the same in the form of feeling safe and attracted.

Nothing you can do will change the outcome at this point, so be direct and go in with the truth. You will be glad that you took action and got yourself out of that erosion of uncertainty.

Good luck and please let us know your progress.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I just realized you say you've been talking (not writing). My advice above holds true. Your best bet is to pick up the phone and take care of business.

 

[Desdinova]

I’m way past my prime and having a hard time in finding someone. The main problem is not because I’m some sort of awkward introvert but more of the fact that I am disabled.


Because of this, I can’t seem to find someone who would want to stay with me. Finding romance in person has obviously failed me so I’ve tried different ways to find a girl, including online dating. This is where I found a woman who I can actually say might be the one from a dating site called loveme.


We’ve been talking for about a couple of months now and she’s been telling me that she wants to meet. She’s from Ukraine and I’m from Washington. She’s planning on coming here to the United States for a vacation, and really wants to see me.


I haven’t really told her about my disability because I could never find the way to open it up. I really like this woman, and I’m not the kind of guy who can easily attract someone. I’m honestly afraid at the thought of losing her, and my disability might be the reason.


She’s going to book a plane ticket soon and I’m torn. It’ll be a waste of time and money, but seeing her in person would mean the world to me. I just don’t know how to bring this up with her because I don’t want to hassle her life with having me around.


Every day I grow fonder of my girlfriend, and would do anything for her but just imagining her reaction is starting to scare me more every day. I really need some help with how to open this up with her and how I can deal with things if she ever rejects me. HELP!!!

Are you a spammer?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Are you a spammer?

I'm thinking yes. The double spaces between paragraphs happen when text is pasted here, after being copied somewhere else.

loveme.com has spam all over the Internet and has spammed this place a few times already.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

At least the dude's consistent. All the other posts have the same username, and one post.

Could be the real deal, some guy posting this same message everywhere, hoping somebody will pay him some attention.

For what it's worth. Sosuave is the only place people have responded to him with genuine advice.

http://www.wechoose.love/forums/top...now-how-to-tell-this-to-my-girlfriend-abroad/

http://www.teenhut.net/thread/16327...now-how-to-tell-this-to-my-girlfriend-abroad/

http://my.gurl.com/forums/read/590....-to-my-girlfriend-abroad-who-wants-to-meet-up

http://www.anewmode.com/topic/dad-wants-me-to-try-mail-order-bride-websites/

 

[Atom Smasher]

He's a spammer. He shares the same IP with 10 other recently registered users here. Ban hammer.