No idea how to turn a girl away from whom I'm into

[stovepipe]

I'm head over heels with a girl in my click of friends. I personally do not want to be with anyone at this time in my life. I'm still recovering from a split from a BPD , whom also gave me a STD. That on top with all my other mental issues, no job, living at my folks. I keep most all my personal life to my self, most my friends don't know me, I hide it cause I'm embarrassed. I don't want my personal business to potentially get out there. Have her reject me cause of my STD, then all my friends knowing.

Thing is, I've never felt this way about a girl before. I actually envision her as my wife as stupid as it sounds. Her and I always to seem to end up together chatting for hours when we're at a friends house or party. I'm also in a horrible place in my life, period! She got my # from a friend and invited me out with them. Told her possibly and said some other dumb chit. Im sure she will feel rejected sooner rather than later, then things will get awkward when we see each other. I don't know how to tell her I want to be alone, but also part of me wants to tell her how I feel about her. Sounds pretty gay, but Im stuck on what to do. Don't know her very well, although I have seen her at events for many years, just never spoke. Past few months we've been seeing each other a lot. Each time our conversation get longer along with the attraction. I know this is a stupid question

 

[exhausted]

I'm head over heels with a girl in my click of friends. I personally do not want to be with anyone at this time in my life. I'm still recovering from a split from a BPD , whom also gave me a STD. That on top with all my other mental issues, no job, lioving at my folks. I keep most all my personal life to my self, most my friends dont know me, I hide it cause Im embarrassed. I dont want my personal business to potentially get out there. Have her reject me cause of my STD, then all my friends knowing.

Thing is, I've never felt this way about a girl before. I actually envision her as my wife as stupid as it sounds. Her and I always to seem to end up together chatting for hours when we're at a friends house or party. I'm also in a horrible place in my life, period! She got my # from a friend and invited me out with them. Told her possibly and said some other dumb ****. Im sure she will feel rejected sooner rather than later, then things will get awkward when we see each other. I don't know how to tell her I want to be alone, but also part of me wants to tell her how I feel about her. Sounds pretty gay, but Im stuck on what to do. Don't know her very well, although I have seen her at events for many years, just never spoke. Past few months we've been seeing each other a lot. Each time our conversation get longer along with the attraction. I know this is a stupid question

Get yourself together asap my friend. You will feel better about yourself. Get a job and start.from there.

 

[Dave Harmon]

It's not stupid at all. You just want stability first before diving into a relationship. You can be honest with her at least she'll know the truth rather than making her feel rejected. Good luck mate!

 

[exhausted]

Just be nice. They usually HATE that. Ha

 

[CMNILS87]

What STD?

And man you got ONEITIS baddddddd. Pull yourself together. Only women worry about that seeing people as husbands and stuff. You barely know this chick and you want to marry her? Cmon, stop, you sound like 15 year

 

[ImJustaGirl]

Not gay at all. If you envision her being your wife, tell her that... but also let her know that you’re in a really crappy part of your life right now and you don’t want to be in a relationship because you can’t offer her what you feel a husband/partner should be able to offer a wife.
If she’s really wife material, she already knows that unemployment/depression are possible at any point in a relationship anyway so what difference does it make if it’s at the beginning or 5 years in if you’re truly meant to be together?
Also, if you start a relationship during a terrible time in your life, if it goes anywhere, you’ll never have to wonder if she’d stick with you during low times.

 

[Reykhel]

If you envision her being your wife, tell her that.

WHAT THE FVCK IS HAPPENING TO THIS SITE

 

[stovepipe]

What STD?

And man you got ONEITIS baddddddd. Pull yourself together. Only women worry about that seeing people as husbands and stuff. You barely know this chick and you want to marry her? Cmon, stop, you sound like 15 year

Ex BPD gave me HPV. I've gotten my warts blasted with liquid nitro 5 times, but they keep coming back. That alone has caused me to spiral into deep depression. Knowing my ex knew she had it makes it even more brutal.

It's not ONEITIS man. I've been going on dates, talking to other women. Never had a women take me breath away like her. Every time we see each other, we rarely leave each others side. The first time I laid eyes on her a few years ago I knew she was my kryptonite/future. She is the coolest, most sweetest girl ever. I've gotten to know a lot about her, her past, and enough to make me know shes not a broken from childhood crazy bich I usally get sucked into. I think most can say there is that one that you fall head over heels for.

I'm a very private person and non of my friends really know a lot about me. I fear my personal busdines getting out there, that alone terrifies me to the max. I also have severe Body Dismorphic Disorder. No words can explain how crippking it has been since I was a kid. Suidical thoughts, wanting to die almost evertday, isolating myseld, no job, living with my parents at 40. Wont go into much more, but you get the idea.

 

[FwoGiZ]

It's not ONEITIS man. I've been going on dates, talking to other women. Never had a women take me breath away like her.

You realize you are contradicting yourself here eh? This is exactly what oneitis is.

I strongly advise you fix all the issues in your life if you are ever hoping to bring someone in your life... if you want that person to be happy that is.

Make a list of all of the issues you have; living at your folks, STD, BDD, etc etc
Then go thru each one of those and come up with a solution to lessen or eliminate the problem. You will have to prioritize some of those before you can move on to the next.

Getting a chick should be at the VERY bottom of that list.

Good luck