I don't really get any kind of a thrill from having sex with different women

[bigdave17]

Not that I am any kind of player but I've slept with maybe 6 or 7 women last 3 years (I know that's nothing compared to you guys) and it did nothing for me. I would much much rather be in a relationship but the problem is none of the women have been anywhere near my league (I'm a good looking, fit, stylish, extraordinarily successful 28 y/old with no kids. I want a woman somewhat close to that)


Does that make me strange? I have very high testosterone. I can have sex 4 times a day but I would much rather do that with the same person. Is is that unusual for a 28 year old guy to only want to be in a monogamous relationship? What's so terrible is I can't even seem to get that with anybody decent

 

[Morphy]

Go after whatever you truly want in this life dude. We could tell you it makes you strange or we could tell you it's all good, but it doesn't matter what we think. At the end of the day the only person who can judge whether you're satisfied or not is yourself. Don't lie to yourself about what you want to do no matter what anybody else is doing. I'm no player with women (yet) but I know that much is true.

As far as how to attract a really high quality woman, I can't really help you there. I'm kind of having the same problem. The best I can do is to say keep improving yourself and becoming more expressive and socially free. The best girls love men with lots of social value. Don't think that just because you've had some success that you're the king of the hill. You probably have a way to go yet.

 

[bigdave17]

I think its fairly normal. You don't really want variety unless you are starving for it in a LTR anyway. I take very little away from casual sex personally, maybe a very, very fleeting boost to the ego.

so how can it be so difficult for a good looking and extremely successful 28 year old man to have a LTR???

 

[bigdave17]

Im not sure. Most people I date do want a LTR with me. The ones that don't are perhaps too hot for me and therefore I am on thin ice with them to begin with. I know women that are in clubs or online dating are less likely to want a relationship than women you meet otherwise. Could be a personality issue, like your personality is not pleasant for dating.

i've been out on a date with a woman I could see myself being with 2 times in my life. 1 I went out 6 times when I was 19 but I screwed it by acting like an idiot. The last 1 was 3 years ago and it was only once and it just didn't work out


all the others were nowhere near my league - too old, had kids, not in shape, etc...

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

so how can it be so difficult for a good looking and extremely successful 28 year old man to have a LTR???

Perhaps the ego puts them off a little?

 

[exhausted]

so how can it be so difficult for a good looking and extremely successful 28 year old man to have a LTR???

Because there aren't many high quality women anymore.
Very scarce to find a good woman.
The older you get the more scarce they are as the good ones are taken very young by high quality guys. 28 isn't bad but 33 and up most women are divorced and have ****ty ex's and disgruntled kids.

I agree, it's better to have the same girl to have sex with as the connection improves over time. New girls all the time is fun if you are 21.

 

[bigdave17]

Because there aren't many high quality women anymore.
Very scarce to find a good woman.
The older you get the more scarce they are as the good ones are taken very young by high quality guys. 28 isn't bad but 33 and up most women are divorced and have ****ty ex's and disgruntled kids.

I agree, it's better to have the same girl to have sex with as the connection improves over time. New girls all the time is fun if you are 21.

I'm 28 so I'm looking for 21-28

 

[bigdave17]

Perhaps the ego puts them off a little?

I don't have a crazy ego, I'm actually chill as **** in real life

 

[exhausted]

I'm 28 so I'm looking for 21-28

Find a girl and date 3 years and if she is still around and quality you are set.
Hopefully you can find one about 25. Not too immature at that age. Usually.

 

[bigdave17]

Find a girl and date 3 years and if she is still around and quality you are set.
Hopefully you can find one about 25. Not too immature at that age. Usually.

dude Ive been trying to do that since I was 16 with no success!! Dating is so unbelievably hard

I am trying to understand if I have crazy high dating standards but I really don't. Most people rate me to be about a 7-8/10 realistically, I am in good shape, I dress extremely well, I make a top 0.01% income for my age, I have my own house and am great with finances, I have great family values, great friends/social circle, great lifestyle

I'm not looking for a perfect 10. I would be happy with a 7/10 25 year old as long as everything else is aligned (no kids, good personality, decent income like 30-40K a year, etc...). Is that really too much to ask for nowadays?

 

[skinnyguy]

Yeah cause random h0es aren't that interested in you but having sex with your gf makes you feel good cause she actually cares about you.

 

[Tenacity]

Not that I am any kind of player but I've slept with maybe 6 or 7 women last 3 years (I know that's nothing compared to you guys) and it did nothing for me. I would much much rather be in a relationship but the problem is none of the women have been anywhere near my league (I'm a good looking, fit, stylish, extraordinarily successful 28 y/old with no kids. I want a woman somewhat close to that)


Does that make me strange? I have very high testosterone. I can have sex 4 times a day but I would much rather do that with the same person. Is is that unusual for a 28 year old guy to only want to be in a monogamous relationship? What's so terrible is I can't even seem to get that with anybody decent

There's nothing wrong with you, but you just have to realize that the short term dating/one night stand market is BOOMING but the LTR market is in a Great Depression. So no matter how good your intentions, the market for finding quality women for LTRs is struggling right now. You might have to adjust your "desires". I struggled with this before, but I have started to settle into this new adjustment.

The dating market is comparable to the College Degree situation. You run into college believing once you get this degree, you will magically be on the path to sustainability FOREVER. Then you graduate, celebrate, run out into the market, and discover the market is complete shyt unless you have marketable skills that pay premium dollar. As a result, no matter how painful it is at first, "adjustments" need to eventually be made on your behalf.

The dating market is the same thing. Hey buddy, we DID what we were told to do. We grew up into successful guys. We worked out. We got our finances together. We got our shyt in line. And we were told that we would then run back out into the dating market and all of these high quality princesses with no kids, good looks, and good personal structures would be waiting for us to SCOOP them up. Well.....we got duped.

 

[bigdave17]

Yes, it is basically too much to ask or else I wouldn't be here either, hah.

My advice is just to put yourself in good social circles with women that value what you bring to the table.

The average white middle class girl will NOT value 40k a year with family values. You might have to look at other ethnic groups, or look at traditional religious groups.

what do you mean? I make 160K. I said I would like a woman making at least 30-40K with good family values

I don't like white girls all that much, I think they age horrible. I would much rather have

Hispanic
Italian/Greek
Asian
Middle eastern but christian

 

[bigdave17]

There's nothing wrong with you, but you just have to realize that the short term dating/one night stand market is BOOMING but the LTR market is in a Great Depression. So no matter how good your intentions, the market for finding quality women for LTRs is struggling right now. You might have to adjust your "desires". I struggled with this before, but I have started to settle into this new adjustment.

The dating market is comparable to the College Degree situation. You run into college believing once you get this degree, you will magically be on the path to sustainability FOREVER. Then you graduate, celebrate, run out into the market, and discover the market is complete shyt unless you have marketable skills that pay premium dollar. As a result, no matter how painful it is at first, "adjustments" need to eventually be made on your behalf.

The dating market is the same thing. Hey buddy, we DID what we were told to do. We grew up into successful guys. We worked out. We got our finances together. We got our shyt in line. And we were told that we would then run back out into the dating market and all of these high quality princesses with no kids, good looks, and good personal structures would be waiting for us to SCOOP them up. Well.....we got duped.

I go to the gym and see all these sexy girls with great bodies who are like 23-26. Who the **** are they dating? Male models??

 

[bigdave17]

Have you considered that the attitude explained throughout is not exactly conducive to having girls desire to lock you down?

It's just moaning about how little you like sex (herbivore), how much you want a ltr (needy), how "high-value" you are (boring and reads like a job application), how women aren't good enough for you (no one is forcing you to date one - again that's neediness).

Did you read the OP? I said I absolutely love sex. I just don't get a huge thrill out of having sex with random women

as far as women aren't good enough for me. I've had sex with maybe 12 or 13 or so and while I didn't like any of them, I am happy I did because it gave me the experience I needed to be very good in bed. Imagine what a trainwreck I would be if I kept holding out for someone in my league and was basically a virgin. How f*cking sad is that? I've never had sex with a good looking and fit girl my age. It's just horrific

The solution is to actually find some love for this game. Enjoy chatting to women, even if that's all it is. Enjoy messaging, enjoy the sexual tension, enjoy taking that tension out on her - even if that's all it is.

Enjoy the variety. Enjoy learning about people and life.

Learn to actually enjoy women, and stop being so miserable. Because the whole thing is a journey, and you are basically the guy complaining "are we there yet?, are we there yet?".

Last month I was seeing a 36 year old woman. I thought I would give it a chance thinking maybe i could overlook her age and her having 2 kids because she was very attractive and charming but I quickly learned this was a terrible idea. I was seeing her for about a month

I loved going out with her though, loved going on dates, loved hanging out with her. It wasn't even so much about the sex (which was good) - I really enjoyed her companionship

What it basically comes down to is i feel like I'm incredibly talented, I just don't get the opportunity to showcase my abilities. I go out to bars and clubs and making a woman actually want to go out with me on a date is insanely hard (they are usually there with 8 friends and isolating them enough to build any kind of real rapport is brutally difficult). I can't meet women at the gym - they all have headphones on and don't want to be interrupted and I can't do online dating - while I'm plenty good looking in real life, I'm barely a 6/10 in pics. Quality women on dating sites all want 10/10 male model types. The only women who make themselves available to me are nowhere near dating quality - generally way too old. It's so frustrating.

Give me a couple dates with a woman in my league and I will have a girlfriend in no time. I just can't get that started!

 

[bigdave17]

Then you need a hustle.

The standard options are online dating, social circle, daygame, and night game.

Need to focus on something until you can get some regular lays/options from it, which can take 6 months to a year. It's difficult, and you really need to learn to love it, rather than seeing these things as a merely a means to an end.

let's go down the list here

online dating - not an option. I am a 6 in pics. You need to be a 10/10 in pics to get a quality mid 20s chick with no kids
social circle - I try and try and try to make friends everywhere I go. Never meet anybody worth dating
day game - where? nothing but grandmas at grocery stores because I live in suburbs. Lots of hotties at my gym but they all wear headphones and have no interest in being bothered
night game - I get a ton of attention from single moms, overweight women and trashy low quality skanks...never get any opportunities with anybody worth dating.


I don't care about getting rejected in online dating but I am not one of those guys who is cool getting rejected 800,000,000 in real life to get 1 girl to go out with me on a date.

 

[Trump]

I'm not looking for a perfect 10. I would be happy with a 7/10 25 year old as long as everything else is aligned (no kids, good personality, decent income like 30-40K a year, etc...). Is that really too much to ask for nowadays?

This seems like a troll because it's too specific.

If not, yes you are asking for much. Should have been a Doctor or a Lawyer. Then you could find the one and only to complete you.

 

[bigdave17]

This seems like a troll because it's too specific.

If not, yes you are asking for much. Should have been a Doctor or a Lawyer. Then you could find the one and only to complete you.

too specific??

wanting a cute 22-28 chick with no kids, decent personality and decent job is asking too much??

I would date an Asian, Hispanic, Christian middle eastern or White chick (although if she's white, would much rather prefer Italian/Greek)

 

[bigdave17]

Online dating
You are only considering pushing for R-selection (which is strange coming from a guy that prioritises a ltr so much). Push/leverage your boyfriend value more. Online-dating also distantly includes meetup groups, and I can tell you that these are very easy to get good leads if you have any game whatsoever.

Women in their mid 20s online won't even go out on a date with you if you don't look like a male model. Come on bro, let's be honest here. Even female 7s online want 10/10 males

I look like a 6/10 in pics, MAYBE a 7/10, which is a real death spell.

Nightgame

So basically you stand around like a lemon waiting for girls to open you. That's why you are going out with women a decade older than yourself. They are getting a good deal, because they pushed for it - whilst you are underselling yourself because of lack of effort.

Quality women in bars and clubs are with their boyfriends 90% of the time

the 10% of the time they are single, they are there with 8 friends and not interested in talking to anybody

The women who come in clearly looking to meet a guy (you can see them as they generally only come with 1 maybe 2 friends and are being very open and social) are either overweight or older/single moms. Cute, single, mid 20s women don't ever go to bars or clubs to meet anybody

 

[bigdave17]

You're being rediculous.

I'm telling you straight, that if you are in scarcity on the streets, or on a pub crawl, then the problem is you.

explain to me what I'm wrong about

women in dating sites don't want male models? Look at the million experiments online where guys go from getting zero dates to a million dates by using a pic of an unknown male model

Cute mid 20s girls don't go to bars to meet anybody? That's absolutely true. I went to a bar last night and 3 different women approached me - 1 was a heavily drunk trashy looking girl, 2 older women over 30 (34-38). All the girls I wanted to approach were there with a BF or with 10 of their friends and not interested at all in talking to men

You go anywhere and you can clearly see who is interested in meeting somebody based on their behavior.