Found out ex is pregnant, now she blocked me

[JonnyD123]

Need some strong guidance on this one, completely lost on what to do. My ex called me the other day and told me she was pregnant. We've been broken up for about a month but she hasn't had her period in two months. She took a test while we were together but it came back negative. My first question was is it even mine which she took offense to.

She went to the doctor yesterday and basically confirmed everything, she's about 8wks along, and she wants to keep it. However, we did meet up and she asked me what she should do. I tried to remain neutral in saying that whatever decision she chooses I will support, we do still love each other however cannot maintain a healthy relationship.

By the end of our conversation I found out that she had in fact slept w/ her ex ex in the last month while we were broken up. She told me she took a plan B after. I then came to the conclusion that keeping the baby would be a huge mistake, and one of the last things she said was "I'll take care of it and you never have to speak to me again."

Now today I tried calling her and it just goes straight to voicemail. What do I do?

 

[That_dude]

If it ain't your kid.. Good riddens

 

[Billtx49]

If push comes to any type of legal shove, get DNA testing done at the appropriate time.

 

[That_dude]

DNA all the way

 

[JonnyD123]

DNA all the way

How am I supposed to do that when I have no contact with her? She blocked me on IG/FB a month ago after we broke up.

Edit: I just don't wanna find out 6+ mos down the road that she kept it, or even worse after its born and it's mine.

 

[That_dude]

How am I supposed to do that when I have no contact with her? She blocked me on IG/FB a month ago after we broke up.

Who's kid is it? You mentioned her sleeping with an ex around the same time.

 

[Billtx49]

How am I supposed to do that when I have no contact with her? She blocked me on IG/FB a month ago after we broke up.

Edit: I just don't wanama find out 6+ mos down the road that she kept it, or even worse after its born and it's mine.

The DNA issue usually arises if she tries to saddle you with child support after birth.
If that happens you may have to attorney up to get it done.
She’s most likely not talking right now because she doesn’t know exactly who the father is…
At any rate stay quiet and gone for now. If you freak out, she will likely assume you think the kid is yours, and also think you’re easy pickings if she can’t get the Ex to pay child support..…

Bottom line, a chick that bangs two men that close in time and gets knocked up disrupts the lives of two men.…

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Think rationally and choose your options. Four things can happen.

1) It's yours and she decides to keep it.

2) It's not yours and she decides to keep it.

3) It's yours and she gets rid of it.

4) It's not yours and she gets rid of it.

Clearly, 1 is your only worry. What to do is difficult without knowing the situation. If she's on the fence, (keep it or get rid of it) and you get her angry (for whatever reason) she may keep it just to spite you. That would be bad, especially if she was initially going to get rid of it.

Ideally you want to find out her intentions without getting her angry.

I would start there.

Possible?

You might have to sweet talk her enough to talk to you, and then sweet talk her into getting rid of it. Tell her you just found out you have bunch of serial killer genes in your family or something.

Possible?

Worst outcome is she gets pissed, decides to have it THEN you find out it's yours.

That would be bad.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

It isn’t even yours or else she would tell you to stay in her life. She likely cheated on you while you were with her. Who cares, you now don’t have to raise a child.

 

[That_dude]

It isn’t even yours or else she would tell you to stay in her life. She likely cheated on you while you were with her. Who cares, you now don’t have to raise a child.

Could be.. Based on the way she's treating him

 

[JonnyD123]

I was in your situation when i was 19. Though with a more toxic woman.

I backed the fvck off. Never regretted it.

What happened??

 

[JonnyD123]

Think rationally and choose your options. Four things can happen.

1) It's yours and she decides to keep it.

2) It's not yours and she decides to keep it.

3) It's yours and she gets rid of it.

4) It's not yours and she gets rid of it.

Clearly, 1 is your only worry. What to do is difficult without knowing the situation. If she's on the fence, (keep it or get rid of it) and you get her angry (for whatever reason) she may keep it just to spite you. That would be bad, especially if she was initially going to get rid of it.

Ideally you want to find out her intentions without getting her angry.

I would start there.

Possible?

You might have to sweet talk her enough to talk to you, and then sweet talk her into getting rid of it. Tell her you just found out you have bunch of serial killer genes in your family or something.

Possible?

Worst outcome is she gets pissed, decides to have it THEN you find out it's yours.

That would be bad.

Initially she told me she wanted to keep it, and she had imagined this fantasy fairy tale world where we could both be happy together with this kid. The reality is we don't trust each other, and I don't want to bring kid into this world undeserving of two healthy, loving parents.

After our talk though is when she made that comment about never having to speak to her again after she "takes care of it." My assumption that "it" meant an abortion. She also said though she cannnot abort a baby with the man whom she's in love with. But my question is how can she sleep w/ another man if she's in love with me? All bs. All questions going through my head going unanswered.

 

[Billtx49]

Initially she told me she wanted to keep it, and she had imagined this fantasy fairy tale world where we could both be happy together with this kid. The reality is we don't trust each other, and I don't want to bring kid into this world undeserving of two healthy, loving parents.

After our talk though is when she made that comment about never having to speak to her again after she "takes care of it." My assumption that "it" meant an abortion. She also said though she cannnot abort a baby with the man whom she's in love with. But my question is how can she sleep w/ another man if she's in love with me? All bs. All questions going through my head going unanswered.

She’s starting to set you up to pay for the kid whether it’s yours or not…
If it doesn’t make sense to you and her statements to you are that contradictory, you’re being emotionally manipulated. She’s counting on the confusion in your mind and heart that she has created…

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

But my question is how can she sleep w/ another man if she's in love with me? All bs. All questions going through my head going unanswered.

Turn that sh*t off and deal with the real problem at hand. If you don't handle this correctly the rest of your life will be misery. Forget about all those emo things.

That is EXACTLY what she is counting on. To react emotionally and be conned into supporting her and the kid.

The quality of your thoughts will determine the rest of your life.

Be very careful and proactive. Not emotional and reactive.

 

[That_dude]

Great post from Taiyuu the master Don. Real life chit bro.. If it’s not your kid.. You’d be a fool not to follow his advice

 

[Building_and_Loan]

If it's yours, talk her into adoption.

Lots of people out there would love to be able to have a kid.

The truth is two 19-year-olds who are so immature (no offense) are going to find it tough to raise a kid. Giving the kid to two parents who are more stable is a pretty solid route.

 

[JonnyD123]

If it's yours, talk her into adoption.

Lots of people out there would love to be able to have a kid.

The truth is two 19-year-olds who are so immature (no offense) are going to find it tough to raise a kid. Giving the kid to two parents who are more stable is a pretty solid route.

She already told me adoption is not an option. Also I'm 30, she's 25.

 

[Serenity]

we do still love each other however cannot maintain a healthy relationship.

That type of thing will never make sense to me. It's basically the same as saying "we love each other, but we treat each other like we hate each other". Also, cheating isn't exactly a declaration of one's love for another... Action > Words

Anyways, I see 2 possible problematic things here. If you care about the child and want to be a part of his/her life if it's yours, then you'll need a DNA test to confirm it's yours and maybe go through hell. If you don't care you may later end up in a situation where she demands child support from you, in which case you'd want a DNA test to confirm whether or not it's even your child.

In any case you'd want to confirm whether or not the child is yours. You wouldn't want to pay for someone else's child and you might want to know if it's really your child so he/she can have a father in their life.

 

[wifehunter]

when you play with fire...sometimes, you get burned.

did you learn anything?

 

[Desdinova]

one of the last things she said was "I'll take care of it and you never have to speak to me again."

Sounds good to me.

I found out that she had in fact slept w/ her ex ex in the last month while we were broken up. She told me she took a plan B after.

Did you watch her take the Plan B pill? Did she fvck him again after that and not tell you?