The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[attic]

Enjoy the challenge guys. This is your opportunity.

It's not about the girl/s. It's about you. Sack up, improve your lives, your health, your finances.

NC isn't the cure, the cure is your new state of mind. NC *WILL* help you get there.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Day 6.
Seriously, **** BPD women. I broke NC again 6 days ago. I know what BPD girls are. They are f***g mermaids. They are the morden version of mermaids. They are beautiful, they will give you everything you want, they will give you by far the best sex ever. And they, they will feed on your soul until you die. It's completly crazy.

So i contacted her (because I'm stupid) saying that I think she may be borderline and maybe she could check that with her therapist. She went bat**** crazy saying that she already verified that with her therapist and that while I may think that she has traits cause "she does or did things that could look like that" she is not borderline at all.
LOL. Yeah right.
The girl had bulimia 5 years ago, tried to kill herself at age 15, mutilated her arms, destroyed her stuffed animals when she was a child, does splitting, hate her parents, has no friends, says all her ex boyfriend and ex girlfriends are demons, is always the victim, has 0 self-esteem, was stalking my facebook and computer constantly, has uncontrollable anger sometimes, can become crazy and violent, but I'm THE WORST PERVERT NARCISSIC OF THE ENTIRE WORLD. And I have 100% of the responsability for this relationship's failure.

F** her. I admit it, I have a lot of narcissists traits. But I'm not a demon. And if on top of me 2 of her ex thinks she is borderline, well she must be.

She is sick, she won't ever admit it. And I'm the worst person ever. It's wrong, it's all so wrong.

F** bpd girls. Stay away at all cost. They are real mermaids.

Would she call me , I would run back to her. It's horrible. I hate the feeling.


Oh. And i saw her on Tinder today. With the mention on her profile "Not looking for something serious right now, just fun"
Ah f** you *****.

I have a tinder date next week with a hot chick..


Day 6..

I think we dated the same girl. Seriously. Your description sounds EXACTLY like the chick I broke up with about a month ago. Total BPD, but hot as hell.

Day 25.

 

[Rxnxg]

I'm back to post here again, I don't even know how many days passed since I started NC, to be honest I stopped counting and that's the best thing to do, I think about my ex sometimes but I don't give a f*** and she got a big dosses of karma. Best thing you can all do is go out, live life, improve yourself and stop feeling like **** just cause you got dumped by person, 1 between billions. Life keeps going with or without that person and you have to be the best version of yourself !

Day 60 or more probably.

 

[DreamAgain]

Day 1 starting today.

Finally cutting this poison out of my life for good, she pushed and pulled me to hell, driving me crazy...when I realized she was just using me for favors and for the help I was providing her for various things (work, university projects, etc.)

This b1tch was nothing but a user and manipulator...I did love her at one point, but she has left me hardened and I can never trust her again.

Going out tonight to hopefully get a number or two and regain the confidence I had before this poison inflicted me. Stay strong brothers.

 

[John Constantine]

day 4
Still thinking about her everyday, every hour.. It's hard.. On top of that I've just dump my only plate because I started to get feelings for her and she was showing similar traits with my ex.. It's focking hard

 

[RedScorpion]

Day 20 NC. Trust me, it does get better. But you will go through ups and downs. And you must remember that what you are feeling is normal and human - do not berate yourself for feeling down or messed up about it. You're basically grieving the loss of the person you knew - and you must resist what you 'feel' you need to do. Typically, that involves reaching out, begging, whining, pleading... etc. Trying to salvage even a shred of that feeling you once had before. All negative actions, and things that will damage both your self-esteem and her perception of you as a strong person. That can be used both as an action to 'get her back' (note: do not give yourself hope for this, but sometimes can't be helped), and for shoving it in her face a little, as a loss for her.

They will return to being a normal human for you. And you will be fine. Myself, my morale is still down a bit, but getting better everyday. And starting to feel good about keeping NC, both for myself and what I described above. It comes in waves, but the waves do taper off.

If you have any doubts, and moments of struggles - I fully recommend reading this thread from top to bottom. Page 162 with Lotus Effect is good. Reading other people's stories, finding similarities, and what they did or didn't do - you'll find the answer. Rooted in cold hard reality, and experiences to burn in you that this is in all probability the right course and action to take.

When you are in pain - read, read, read, to affirm to yourself what should be done. Complain on here if you need to. Also, enforcing yourself to not think of her (whenever she pops up) is a good tool as well for recovery.

 

[John Constantine]

Day 20 NC. Trust me, it does get better. But you will go through ups and downs. And you must remember that what you are feeling is normal and human - do not berate yourself for feeling down or messed up about it. You're basically grieving the loss of the person you knew - and you must resist what you 'feel' you need to do. Typically, that involves reaching out, begging, whining, pleading... etc. Trying to salvage even a shred of that feeling you once had before. All negative actions, and things that will damage both your self-esteem and her perception of you as a strong person. That can be used both as an action to 'get her back' (note: do not give yourself hope for this, but sometimes can't be helped), and for shoving it in her face a little, as a loss for her.

They will return to being a normal human for you. And you will be fine. Myself, my morale is still down a bit, but getting better everyday. And starting to feel good about keeping NC, both for myself and what I described above. It comes in waves, but the waves do taper off.

If you have any doubts, and moments of struggles - I fully recommend reading this thread from top to bottom. Page 162 with Lotus Effect is good. Reading other people's stories, finding similarities, and what they did or didn't do - you'll find the answer. Rooted in cold hard reality, and experiences to burn in you that this is in all probability the right course and action to take.

When you are in pain - read, read, read, to affirm to yourself what should be done. Complain on here if you need to. Also, enforcing yourself to not think of her (whenever she pops up) is a good tool as well for recovery.

Thanks man, needed this

 

[RedScorpion]

NC 22 I believe. I'd like to describe a feeling I had yesterday. I was filled with anger and disdain for this girl, probably one of the more intense days yet. Seemed sudden for no reason. Anger about her actions, how she put zero effort in for getting in touch. Feeling more of a reality that this was the end. Later on, there was sadness and regret too - just felt entirely agitated. I was out and about, doing things with friends all day (small road trip) - having fun, talking, seeing things. And yet part of me was focused on this.

I think now today, it was a breaking point in acceptance. Accepting that it is truly done. Even just for myself, to firmly 'feel' that I will not go back. I know I will never break NC on my part (at least without some sincere, persistent effort from her - that simply won't happen). But it feels more... that I'm not fighting myself as much. That more of myself is ready to push on. Definitely not healed yet - but it's steps forward.

So forewarning to everyone going through this. You may have surges of pained days, seemingly out of nowhere. But breakthrough it, and keep going.

 

[John Constantine]

Day 6

I'm starting to accept that she's gone and reading a lot about the red pill. All of these evil emotional monkey branching creature are disgusting me to the point where I just want to **** em and dump them but the problem is that me emotions dont work like that.. I'm craving for love and I'm falling for every girl that fits my standards, Very low for their comportment behavior but quite high physically and this **** is stopping me from taking the red pill.. I'm working on it, small improvement as I still think about my ex but I now know that I can get a much better girl.. Had a date today but she's ghosting me since we confirmed yesterday.. Stupid ho... I'm getting more confident, I bought a new car, new shoes, new clothes, going to the gym 6 days a week like I was before my relationship, tanning, etc I'm improving myself but it's stupid how it feel useless when you're in the post breakup process

I need motivation from you bro's

 

[Dixie]

Older guy here (54). I'm sure its on here somewhere but there are lots of pages.
Take it from experience, there isn't a 60 day challenge.
If your girlfriend dumps you, you simply ask her nicely not to contact you again and then NEVER EVER contact her again for ANY reason.
No calls, no texts, no social media - Delete everything.
Do not respond to her again NEVER EVER for ANY reason.
Women get one chance. If they blow it they regret it. Under no circumstances, no matter how bad it feels at the time you are Steve McQueen/James Bond and John Wayne all rolled into one.
Its like you are dead to them and they are dead to you.

Then you get back on the horse, ride into town and get a new woman - A better one!
Women with integrity do not go behind your back. They communicate that they are unhappy and ask you to work it out with them. Then its up to you.
A monkey is going to swing. Would you **** a monkey?

 

[FMCSMT]

Day 19

Still think about her when I wake up.

I've been doing no contact with any girls. Only had 3 plates spinning at the time. Dropped them all for a 30 day challenge just between a friend and I. He seen too much negativity from women and his drinking has been out of control for a few years now so we both quit women and he quit alcohol (I rarely ever drink).

It's given me time to reflect and continue goals.

I know what happens at day 60 - you don't give a care anymore.

It's best we all do this post relationship. It's hard but it works. These last 3 had 1 that was a little harder to let go of. That happens too. But it's better to get new plates.

Best

 

[TheGambino]

First date went smoothly but I came off way too hard cexually and pushing for a make out. She rejected it twice on the date with ''Im not like that'' and ''we are not married like that''.

HB9 on the backburner. Had to talk to her since she is buying materials from the shop where I work. Did that today.

Going to NC until she wants to meet.

Day one 15/8 19:33

Gambino

 

[Lion1985]

I changed my phone nuber some weeks ago, best decision, I hope...psychologically to put an ultimate end....
so even if she would contact me in future, I will not know it
I dont care, she is already dating someone new since some months...

 

[RedScorpion]

NC day 32 now. Working on the last bits of doubt and stress about her now. The question being "Was it the right action to remove her from my life?". Mostly regarding online stuff.

I won't lie - I've been debating that point more and more strongly until yesterday I believe. And there was some strong pain and regret associated with that. As I move on more and more, I forget the reasoning for taking her off in the first place, later thinking that maybe it could have worked out, etc. Forgetting the bad stuff, and only the good stuff remains (hey, that's the power of NC right?). Good stuff is fading as well too, which is good. Overall, I'm almost there. I've seen a couple pics accidentally online by mutual friends, which set me back slightly - but recovered fairly fast compared to the beginning. Just unfollowed them temporarily and pushing on.

I don't know. This feels like the last real hurdle before completely moving on. Was it right to remove her? I can't help but lean towards yes. She was ignoring and snotty at the end. No effort on her part. It wasn't a mutual thing anymore. So screw it. She doesn't deserve further connection. I went out with a 'smile' as best as I could, and just quietly removed her from social media (after waiting a bit of time). No anger, whining, begging, goodbyes. I'm 99.9% she's used to guys fully kissing her ass and fawning over her until they crash and burn (as she referenced at one point breaking a guys heart, having him cry - a red flag probably). So I think she wouldn't expect me to just cut her off, the way I have. A small bonus, in an otherwise dead situation. I don't have regrets really at this point (besides debating about the removal), and I see a few things that she may have regrets over later on, as time passes. Not that I'd ever know about them then.

Maybe it's just self-validation at this point - but I feel like I've left with some power in this. Making pulling the plug my call, without any drama (or as drama-free as ghosting someone can be). I've given up my power before well in the past. Reaching out multiple times, waiting for that response that doesn't come. It really sucks. I remember clearly back then "Ah, it won't hurt me that much if I reach out right? I'm being nice by doing so" - something like that. And it just bites you, much harder than you expect. Because you were on level ground - then suddenly you feel like you've fallen in a ravine, with no way to climb up. You didn't even really think that ravine existed anymore. And they're not going to help you out of that hole. Luckily time will, always.

So... I think it was better I cut her off on this, rather than tolerating her or worse, having her pull the plug herself later on. I did enjoy being with her, talking and flirting with her, in the past. But that's where she belongs now. I haven't blocked her, so if she *did* want to message me, she could. I don't expect or even necessarily want it, but it removes any doubt of 'Maybe she did try to message and work it out?'. I can confidently say 'Well, she didn't even try', and focus elsewhere.

 

[FMCSMT]

Well said.

My last I didn't get a single message from.

It is for the better even though I've felt the same things and enjoyed her.

 

[finality]

NC day 32 now. Working on the last bits of doubt and stress about her now. The question being "Was it the right action to remove her from my life?". Mostly regarding online stuff.

I won't lie - I've been debating that point more and more strongly until yesterday I believe. And there was some strong pain and regret associated with that. As I move on more and more, I forget the reasoning for taking her off in the first place, later thinking that maybe it could have worked out, etc. Forgetting the bad stuff, and only the good stuff remains (hey, that's the power of NC right?). Good stuff is fading as well too, which is good. Overall, I'm almost there. I've seen a couple pics accidentally online by mutual friends, which set me back slightly - but recovered fairly fast compared to the beginning. Just unfollowed them temporarily and pushing on.

I don't know. This feels like the last real hurdle before completely moving on. Was it right to remove her? I can't help but lean towards yes. She was ignoring and snotty at the end. No effort on her part. It wasn't a mutual thing anymore. So screw it. She doesn't deserve further connection. I went out with a 'smile' as best as I could, and just quietly removed her from social media (after waiting a bit of time). No anger, whining, begging, goodbyes. I'm 99.9% she's used to guys fully kissing her ass and fawning over her until they crash and burn (as she referenced at one point breaking a guys heart, having him cry - a red flag probably). So I think she wouldn't expect me to just cut her off, the way I have. A small bonus, in an otherwise dead situation. I don't have regrets really at this point (besides debating about the removal), and I see a few things that she may have regrets over later on, as time passes. Not that I'd ever know about them then.

Maybe it's just self-validation at this point - but I feel like I've left with some power in this. Making pulling the plug my call, without any drama (or as drama-free as ghosting someone can be). I've given up my power before well in the past. Reaching out multiple times, waiting for that response that doesn't come. It really sucks. I remember clearly back then "Ah, it won't hurt me that much if I reach out right? I'm being nice by doing so" - something like that. And it just bites you, much harder than you expect. Because you were on level ground - then suddenly you feel like you've fallen in a ravine, with no way to climb up. You didn't even really think that ravine existed anymore. And they're not going to help you out of that hole. Luckily time will, always.

So... I think it was better I cut her off on this, rather than tolerating her or worse, having her pull the plug herself later on. I did enjoy being with her, talking and flirting with her, in the past. But that's where she belongs now. I haven't blocked her, so if she *did* want to message me, she could. I don't expect or even necessarily want it, but it removes any doubt of 'Maybe she did try to message and work it out?'. I can confidently say 'Well, she didn't even try', and focus elsewhere.

Good job man. I think most people can agree when deciphering all their breakups of the past that the biggest regret isn't always the breakup itself but how we handled the breakup. Good job keeping your self respect. She will be back at some point.

 

[DreamAgain]

@RedScorpion , great post. Start seeing new women and you'll find that what you think you lost, you've actually gained when you meet someone much better than her.

 

[exhausted]

@RedScorpion , great post. Start seeing new women and you'll find that what you think you lost, you've actually gained when you meet someone much better than her.

Ya i kinda ducked up the breakoff but her bs discarding me and hoovering after ignoring me for 4 days deserved it.
I went full force fight mode furious and smashed every attempt of her hoovering. I was relentless to where she just stopped.

Thats how u get rid of a narcissist

 

[finality]

I Broke up with gf/plate today. We are exclusive for 4 months, broke up and then a lot of drama the next 3 months. I'm in love with her but I wanted something more serious than she did so I had to end things because I cared more for her than she did for me and it's not a good situation to be in. This is the first girl that I actually wanted to have kids with (I'm 34-she is 28) so it's a bit depressing that I have to walk away.

I'm a bit at peace though, this girl caused me a lot of stress and as depressing as it is to end things with someone I'm in love with I'm not going to have to deal with the anxiety of not knowing where things are going. I mean if she's not sold on me then there's another guy or she just don't value me the way she should. Either is a losing proposition.

 

[finality]

Day 2.

The breakup was long and drawn out so a lot of the initial shock and desbelief has already passed. I imagine I'll think about her more on the weekend as I'll wonder what she is doing and I'll probably miss her but the worst is already over. I'm excited where I'll be in 30 days. Going nofap during this time as well and going to hit the gym hard. Don't plan on dating anyone else for a while but you never know.