an another bites the dust....

[evil_tomato]

Just giving you guys an update on my situation. If you dont know about it, you can search my post history. But to sum it up i was seeing a single mom 11 years older then me with 2 early adult kids. We were seeing each other for a few months, both had an amazing connection and bond, both physically attracted to each other, had amazing times together and she was open to the possibility of a relationship with me. Although we never slept together because she only saves it for people shes in a relationship with...

Anyway turns out she thinks we are not compatible and doesnt want to be in a relationship with me. She claims we have too many differences and different expectations on what we want from a relationship. The only difference i really saw was that she was kind of after an open relationship as she doesnt do "monogamy" and all her past relationships have been open relationships. This isnt my thing and not something im really comfortable with. Kudos to those who can do those types of arrangements but it isnt for me.

So we meet up today and have a chat. She still insists that shes not after a relationship with me and would prefer to just be friends and not interested in friends with benefits either because shes "not like that". I decline telling her that i dont think its a good idea since i have feelings for her and think its best if we just both move on. She doesnt take this real well and ends up leaving all mad and sh1tty with me over it. I guess i'd be lying if i said i wasnt cut up about it because prior to dating we were good friends and she was fun to hang out with and was a great chick but theres no point hanging around if shes made up her mind about me.

So i have started my NC from today. Have i done the right thing in this situation or am i being unfair? Do you think she'll ever change her mind about me and come back?

 

[darksprezzatura]

Just giving you guys an update on my situation. If you dont know about it, you can search my post history. But to sum it up i was seeing a single mom 11 years older then me with 2 early adult kids. We were seeing each other for a few months, both had an amazing connection and bond, both physically attracted to each other, had amazing times together and she was open to the possibility of a relationship with me. Although we never slept together because she only saves it for people shes in a relationship with...

Anyway turns out she thinks we are not compatible and doesnt want to be in a relationship with me. She claims we have too many differences and different expectations on what we want from a relationship. The only difference i really saw was that she was kind of after an open relationship as she doesnt do "monogamy" and all her past relationships have been open relationships. This isnt my thing and not something im really comfortable with. Kudos to those who can do those types of arrangements but it isnt for me.

So we meet up today and have a chat. She still insists that shes not after a relationship with me and would prefer to just be friends and not interested in friends with benefits either because shes "not like that". I decline telling her that i dont think its a good idea since i have feelings for her and think its best if we just both move on. She doesnt take this real well and ends up leaving all mad and sh1tty with me over it. I guess i'd be lying if i said i wasnt cut up about it because prior to dating we were good friends and she was fun to hang out with and was a great chick but theres no point hanging around if shes made up her mind about me.

So i have started my NC from today. Have i done the right thing in this situation or am i being unfair? Do you think she'll ever change her mind about me and come back?

You tried. You failed. You learnt.
IMO, you did the right thing, you expressed your sexual interest and threw the ball in her court and didn't chase. Move on. Getting out of the friend zone which you began the relationship with is hard. Forget her. Improve yourself. Approach other women. Good work mate.
P.S: Do not ignore all the red flags next time.

 

[switch7]

Although we never slept together because she only saves it for people shes in a relationship with...

My friend, never believe this when a woman says it. It has a few functions. 1. Anti slut labelling mechanism. 2. Filters out beta men who are scared of pushing for sex. 3. Keep orbiters around pushing romantically.

So i have started my NC from today. Have i done the right thing in this situation or am i being unfair? Do you think she'll ever change her mind about me and come back?

This woman was using you. A single mum with adult kids who probably feels past it and you come along giving her attention and validation and she feels young again. You were a novelty, she wasn't taking you seriously.

You were her number 1 orbiter and that is why she is upset that you want to go no contact. There may have been a point early on when she may have had some interest in you but at some point she lost interest and since then she's been stringing you along. You can't be seeing someone for a few months and not get sex. After 3 or 4 dates and there is no sex it's time to question the womans agenda and withdraw.

Don't kick yourself for this, its a lesson you needed to have.

Don't get emotionally involved with single mums, especially ones that like much younger men. Women that like men much younger is a big red flag for me. Great for fvcking but that's it.

 

[evil_tomato]

Also just wanted to add shes a hard ass and has a lot of pride and she told me several times that she doesnt chase guys or get butt hurt if they dont want to stay friends with them. So with this in mind, i doubt going NC will change her mind about me? Im already hitting up other chicks but would still really love it if she changed her mind and came around lol

 

[bigneil]

A hard ass single mom pushing 40? That's like saying a 15 year old guy is a hard ass.

How does OP get a woman pushing 40 with kids to say LJBF when OP is in his prime at 29? I'm 46 and was dating a 20 year old with no kids and I said LJBF to HER before she could ever say it (in my case she was likely about to).

One or more of the following is the problem:

1) She's not that attracted to OP.
2) OP came on WAY too strong.
3) OP doesn't have a good enough career.
4) OP missed obvious signs to back off.
5) OP was humping her leg with good morning (smiley face) texts.

At least OP is now doing things right with NC in response, and not accepting friendship.

 

[evil_tomato]

A hard ass single mom pushing 40? That's like saying a 15 year old guy is a hard ass.

How does OP get a woman pushing 40 with kids to say LJBF when OP is in his prime at 29? I'm 46 and was dating a 20 year old with no kids and I said LJBF to HER before she could ever say it (in my case she was likely about to).

One or more of the following is the problem:

1) She's not that attracted to OP.
2) OP came on WAY too strong.
3) OP doesn't have a good enough career.
4) OP missed obvious signs to back off.
5) OP was humping her leg with good morning (smiley face) texts.

At least OP is now doing things right with NC in response, and not accepting friendship.

Because she thought we were incompatible and I won't give her an "open relationship". Apparently she's a hard ass and doesn't give in to guys demands lol.

 

[Thorninmyside]

, i doubt going NC will change her mind about me?

NC is not a move. It's not a strategy to win her back because you never had her. Think of it as your detox from her while you get your s*** together and move on. There's no version of this where you end up between her legs.

 

[martinman980]

you were seeing her for a few month without ****ing her? hmmm , move on mate, and stop wasting time

 

[wifehunter]

You lost me at 'early adult kids'

 

[SuckItUp]

Just giving you guys an update on my situation. If you dont know about it, you can search my post history. But to sum it up i was seeing a single mom 11 years older then me with 2 early adult kids. We were seeing each other for a few months, both had an amazing connection and bond, both physically attracted to each other, had amazing times together and she was open to the possibility of a relationship with me. Although we never slept together because she only saves it for people shes in a relationship with...

Anyway turns out she thinks we are not compatible and doesnt want to be in a relationship with me. She claims we have too many differences and different expectations on what we want from a relationship. The only difference i really saw was that she was kind of after an open relationship as she doesnt do "monogamy" and all her past relationships have been open relationships. This isnt my thing and not something im really comfortable with. Kudos to those who can do those types of arrangements but it isnt for me.

So we meet up today and have a chat. She still insists that shes not after a relationship with me and would prefer to just be friends and not interested in friends with benefits either because shes "not like that". I decline telling her that i dont think its a good idea since i have feelings for her and think its best if we just both move on. She doesnt take this real well and ends up leaving all mad and sh1tty with me over it. I guess i'd be lying if i said i wasnt cut up about it because prior to dating we were good friends and she was fun to hang out with and was a great chick but theres no point hanging around if shes made up her mind about me.

So i have started my NC from today. Have i done the right thing in this situation or am i being unfair? Do you think she'll ever change her mind about me and come back?

You aren't compatible. She's 40 with kids and you're 29 with no attachments. There is no logical reason for a 29 year old to be interested in a 40 single mom unless you want to tap that azz. Oh you weren't even doing that. Her response to you not wanting to be friends should scream at you that you are being used.

There are so many other women with less baggage that are single.

The dating game can be difficult so why make it even harder and get a lesser return. If you want to make it more difficult chase after 9s.

 

[evil_tomato]

Well I originally just wanted to fu** her, but she doesn't give it up to anyone "just like that". I guess because we were friends to begin with I didn't want her to think I'm some pushy guy just wanting her for sex.

And yes I've come to realisation that we aren't compatible. I was maybe in denial over it but I've accepted it now. I don't do open relationships either and I guess because of that she decided we aren't compatible. In some ways I will miss her friendship but I want more and she won't give it to me so fu*k her.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Do you honestly think she's having open relationships with other men who aren't getting a piece of that shriveled up leather puzzy? No way. You'll be glad this was done when you find better options.

 

[RangerMIke]

You are after a women who is hitting the wall.....

Work on yourself and you will be able to do much better than that.