Nervous when approaching

[Gan]

Anything I could do to shake off the nerves when approaching women? What was your mindset like at first? I'm having a hard time with this, makes me chicken out all the time.
Currently working on a girl who has given me positive body language, smiles, and long eye contact only recently and I want to go in for the phone number without seeming too needy or nervous.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Let me know when this comes out on DVD and then I'll let you know. You really gotta help us help you by getting to the point here.

 

[Gan]

Let me know when this comes out on DVD and then I'll let you know. You really gotta help us help you by getting to the point here.

You know what? I'll re-do it

EDIT: Done!

 

[Jetleg]

You are afraid of rejection.

Approach her like a friend "Hey how is it going? I'm ____". dont approach with expectations first, just see her reactions (body language, smiling, eye contact etc)

If she shows interest you proceed, if not its no biggie "it was nice talking to you". You basically dont guve her the opportunity to reject you.

Approach like a friend, proceed like an alpha.

However you should know, this approach only works at casual places. In clubs or bars it wont work.

 

[bigneil]

Yes, there is something you can do.

When you get that rush of nerves, that is adrenaline. It is temporary. Wait 15 minutes then try again and you'll be desensitized.

Mainly you have to practice. You're not discovering whether or not you are alpha, you are about to slowly climb the ladder one rung (or lesson or slap in the face) at a time.

To get number:

1) Are you single?
2) Write your number down.

Or:

1) I don't want to leave it to chance that I'll see you again, will you write your number down?

Or (at least):

1) When are you working again? (then go back and ask her for her number the next time - IF she calls you by name and is happy to see you).

 

[Masculinity]

Anything I could do to shake off the nerves when approaching women? What was your mindset like at first? I'm having a hard time with this, makes me chicken out all the time.
Currently working on a girl who has given me positive body language, smiles, and long eye contact only recently and I want to go in for the phone number without seeming too needy or nervous.

The nervousness doesn't really go away at one point. What changes is your motivation to succeed and become a bette version of yourself overshadows your fear and anxiety.

 

[wifehunter]

Prayer helps!

lolz!

 

[Von]

Go out with a friend.... play this game: You owe 20$ to your friend for every girls that he point and you don't have the balls to talk to her.

That's how I got my nervousness out in the approaching... he pointed, I talked... and saved money

 

[Gan]

Approach her like a friend "Hey how is it going? I'm ____". dont approach with expectations first, just see her reactions (body language, smiling, eye contact etc)

If she shows interest you proceed, if not its no biggie "it was nice talking to you". You basically dont guve her the opportunity to reject you.

This is so reassuring. There's times where we have some boring conversations, and times where she's in a really good mood. I'll go for it the next time I get some good reactions out of her.

However you should know, this approach only works at casual places. In clubs or bars it wont work.

We're both volunteers at a clinic, shouldn't be a problem.

When you get that rush of nerves, that is adrenaline. It is temporary. Wait 15 minutes then try again and you'll be desensitized.

I've noticed this. I feel the rush every time I arrive at the clinic, and it takes me a little while to get comfortable.

To get number:

1) Are you single?
2) Write your number down.

For now I just want her number. I'm not too comfortable asking if she's single yet, but if and when she gives me her number, when would be a good time to ask her?

Thank you all for your posts

 

[Gan]

You have to just accept it. It's not going away, and there is no trick to make it go away (believe me, I looked).

Best idea that I remember is when Yad said something like "for the initial approach, you are giving value - your attention. Think of it like she just dropped her wallet, and you are giving it to her".

You will be terrified the first few times, and you need to allow yourself to make "mistakes". You'll realize that nothing bad actually happens, then the nerves transfer into a massive high.

Don't just build up to approaching one girl over weeks/months. Make sure you are getting rejected on the regular.

If you aren't getting rejected, then you aren't really trying, or you aren't pushing yourself. It really does get to a point where the rejection doesn't bother you so much... but the nerves don't really ever leave completely, I don't think (unless you are a sociopath perhaps).

I still have a lot to learn. I'm currently trying to change my needy/desperate mindset before I make approaches with women, although you're right. I need to get used to rejection. Might do me some good to approach below average chicks since I won't be as intimidated as I would be if it were a 7+/10 chick, just to get used to approaching.

Best idea that I remember is when Yad said something like "for the initial approach, you are giving value - your attention. Think of it like she just dropped her wallet, and you are giving it to her".

Could you elaborate a little more on this?

 

[Trump]

For now I just want her number. I'm not too comfortable asking if she's single yet, but if and when she gives me her number, when would be a good time to ask her?

Yesterday.

Bro personally I would forget the number. Ask her out for drinks after work. By the time you get the number, go home, think about it, get enough courage to call her up 2 days later, she is already pregnant.

Men, one thing to remember is you don't have all the time in the world with girls you are attracted to. I know those experts like "Doc Love" say "slow it down, slow it down, slow down." It's kind of ridiculous. Essentially you should be having crazy sex with her on the 2nd date.

 

[Gan]

Yesterday.

Bro personally I would forget the number. Ask her out for drinks after work. By the time you get the number, go home, think about it, get enough courage to call her up 2 days later, she is already pregnant.

Men, one thing to remember is you don't have all the time in the world with girls you are attracted to. I know those experts like "Doc Love" say "slow it down, slow it down, slow down." It's kind of ridiculous. Essentially you should be having crazy sex with her on the 2nd date.

See, the girl I'm attracted to is slightly introverted and seems innocent. After exchanging numbers, I was thinking of arranging a date with her IF and only IF she initiates the first text. Thoughts?

 

[Gan]

That's retarded. You are listening to the nonsense "don't initiate" crowd on here, because it appeals to your weaker side.

It's better to tell her why you want her number when you get it (you are taking her out for drinks/coffee/whatever). The messaging after is with the purpose of dealing with logistics.

There are some very attractive girls that really are used to dealing with proper alpha guys - used to being chased heavily. But even an average girl doesn't often doesn't want to be initiating stuff. They want to feel feminine - most women are natural subs.

Keep the power in your own hands. Initiate (initiate twice, in fact. Girls that don't initially respond just go down your list of priorities). Don't be inclined towards that pvssy boy stuff of wanting girls to lead.

You're right. I've already gotten a lot of positive signals from her, guess it's time to take charge! I know for a fact I'll regret it if I let this one slide.

 

[martinman980]

Yes, there is something you can do.

When you get that rush of nerves, that is adrenaline. It is temporary. Wait 15 minutes then try again and you'll be desensitized.

Mainly you have to practice. You're not discovering whether or not you are alpha, you are about to slowly climb the ladder one rung (or lesson or slap in the face) at a time.

.

THIS

If you are just beginning focus more on calming yourself than on any techniques, or on getting phone numbers would be my advice. Yes that rush of nerves, will fade away with time, now depending how much " unusefull emotins" you have acumulated in the past.

When you are " in the field" walk around for a few minutes and focus on your breathing, after some time you will start to calm yourself down. Approach in that state of calm and start slowly, like: ask for the time, directions, and work your way up, give compliments. etc...

There will be some times where the only way to get past certain emotions is the hard way, feel them and make your move anyway