Is it now considered "creepy" to be a "nice guy"?

[MatureDJ]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...uy-rejected-by-women-angers-the-internet.html

A "nice guy" at an office, who evidently got turned down a lot, posted this in the common area:

"OK, ladies.

"I get it.

"You don’t want a pleasant evening chat.

"You don’t want a gentleman to walk you to your car.

"You don’t want a friendly dude to help you carry your groceries… or hold open the door… or crush the life out of other men that would do you harm."

It continues: "Fine - fear the good guys… I guess we’ll have to just suffer through watching you get broken over and over by the scum you think you love.

"But I want you to know – it’s not easy and it hurts to see you fall.

"Give the good guys a chance to help you be less afraid of the world.”

The note was posted online, and there were comments about it:

serious- any guy who tells me "I'm a nice guy" makes me run faster than a doped Olympic track athlete

This is...so weird & disturbing on so many levels.

Terrifying. Couldn't be less creepy even if it was written on human skin.

I have so many questions for this person. Like, what if I just DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. Is that permissible

 

[Thorninmyside]

That note is not from a nice guy. It's from a passive aggressive tw@t. The duct tape was a nice touch. Maybe he should have hung a rag dipped in chloroform next to it with a note saying "Smell me".

 

[El Payaso]

Nice guy?

More like a pandering white knight who stands ready to defend the ladies "honor".

A nice guy does things without any expectations.

A "nice" guy doesn't.

 

[Masculinity]

The only difference beteeen a woman finding a guy to be "creepy" or not is whether she finds him attractive.

THAT is disturbing. Next thread.

 

[AttackFormation]

I don't think women mind nice guys. The problem is with these "nice" guys. To put it simply, they're both fake and passive-aggressive, which also makes them unsettling.They're losers.

Any self-respecting man should look down on them as well, imo.

 

[RangerMIke]

There is little difference between a man that is 'nice' and expects something in return, and a man that forces himself of a woman. What is creepy is that he is mad because women are not responding to him.

 

[Serenity]

Any guy doing stuff like that and claiming to be a nice guy is NOT a nice guy. Just because someone says they're nice doesn't mean they really are, in fact the opposite is usually true in that case.

Never ever claim to be a nice guy and whine about thugs, they will run far far away from you. Because they all know "nice guy" means "biggest asshole in the world".

 

[RichardTheFrog]

The nice guy/jerk debate is a debate for those with no status.

If you look like Chad or have $1 million in the bank, it won't matter.

 

[Mike32ct]

While being passive aggressive is NOT a desirable trait and I don't condone it either, I think some people are being disingenuous when they play that card against the "nice guy."

Women complain about the "nice guy being fake/dishonest/creepy blah blah" as a smokescreen because she doesn't want to address the real reason the guy ended in the nice guy category to begin with. He doesn't have the looks.

Pickup gurus also try to make the nice guy sound "evil" to avoid or minimize the looks discussion by changing the subject.

Bad boys also want to make the nice guy sound evil so they seem less "bad" in comparison lol.

 

[devilkingx2]

loads of women have nothing but cruel disdain for any guy they aren't attracted to

loads of men get full of pent up frustration from the constant failure of their poor game

 

[Serenity]

While being passive aggressive is NOT a desirable trait and I don't condone it either, I think some people are being disingenuous when they play that card against the "nice guy."

Women complain about the "nice guy being fake/dishonest/creepy blah blah" as a smokescreen because she doesn't want to address the real reason the guy ended in the nice guy category to begin with. He doesn't have the looks.

Pickup gurus also try to make the nice guy sound "evil" to avoid or minimize the looks discussion by changing the subject.

Bad boys also want to make the nice guy sound evil so they seem less "bad" in comparison lol.

Well, those self-proclaimed nice guys are in fact fake, dishonest and creepy though. They're not nice, they're entitled assholes who on top of all are lacking the self-awareness to realize it. The guy may or may not look bad, I've seen plenty of men who looks pretty damn good get shot down because they went the nice guy route. Basically by acting nice while holding strongly misogynistic (and not at all nice towards women) attitudes, then afterwards get butthurt and show their true faces by telling them how all women are idiots etc.

In a relationship they would be passive aggressive and become extremely uncomfortable to be with if he doesn't always get his way. So yeah, entitled selfish assholes claiming to be nice. Their words say nice, but their actions says otherwise.

 

[youngmack]

Well, those self-proclaimed nice guys are in fact fake, dishonest and creepy though. They're not nice, they're entitled assholes who on top of all are lacking the self-awareness to realize it. The guy may or may not look bad, I've seen plenty of men who looks pretty damn good get shot down because they went the nice guy route. Basically by acting nice while holding strongly misogynistic (and not at all nice towards women) attitudes, then afterwards get butthurt and show their true faces by telling them how all women are idiots etc.

In a relationship they would be passive aggressive and become extremely uncomfortable to be with if he doesn't always get his way. So yeah, entitled selfish assholes claiming to be nice. Their words say nice, but their actions says otherwise.

I low key have this problem, and girls have told me the same thing, and i do feel that same frustration and butthurt feelings. How do you think dudes like this can change ? and stop being fake nice?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

While being passive aggressive is NOT a desirable trait and I don't condone it either, I think some people are being disingenuous when they play that card against the "nice guy."

Women complain about the "nice guy being fake/dishonest/creepy blah blah" as a smokescreen because she doesn't want to address the real reason the guy ended in the nice guy category to begin with. He doesn't have the looks.

Pickup gurus also try to make the nice guy sound "evil" to avoid or minimize the looks discussion by changing the subject.

Bad boys also want to make the nice guy sound evil so they seem less "bad" in comparison lol.

Some nice guys are generous people. So instead of a male buddy getting over one time too many its a female.

 

[Serenity]

I low key have this problem, and girls have told me the same thing, and i do feel that same frustration and butthurt feelings. How do you think dudes like this can change ? and stop being fake nice?

To stop being fake nice is simple, all you gotta do is to stop claiming you're nice. The nice guy issue is very much a case of lacking integrity. So you have 2 choices, change your words or start living up to them. Basically be who you claim to be. Almost everyone will notice hypocrisy and it's very unattractive. They'll remember what you say about yourself and they'll check if it's true or not, it's a very fast and effective way of screening people. It's the same thing we do with women, check them for bullshit ASAP.

In terms of what women find attractive:
honesty > nice.

 

[youngmack]

To stop being fake nice is simple, all you gotta do is to stop claiming you're nice. The nice guy issue is very much a case of lacking integrity. So you have 2 choices, change your words or start living up to them. Basically be who you claim to be. Almost everyone will notice hypocrisy and it's very unattractive. They'll remember what you say about yourself and they'll check if it's true or not, it's a very fast and effective way of screening people. It's the same thing we do with women, check them for bullshit ASAP.

In terms of what women find attractive:
honesty > nice.

Makes sense .. I think I need to do both . But the ironic thing is that I give off a nice guy vibe too . I've had multiples girls say I seem like a sweet nice guy but they still didn't wanna talk to me . Whst do I do about the vibe ?

 

[devilkingx2]

Makes sense .. I think I need to do both . But the ironic thing is that I give off a nice guy vibe too . I've had multiples girls say I seem like a sweet nice guy but they still didn't wanna talk to me . Whst do I do about the vibe ?

be less nice, look at other girls sometimes, tease them more, etc.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Makes sense .. I think I need to do both . But the ironic thing is that I give off a nice guy vibe too . I've had multiples girls say I seem like a sweet nice guy but they still didn't wanna talk to me . Whst do I do about the vibe ?

The easiest way to get into the mindset is to put yourself first. This means for each decision you make you determine if its going to benefit you the most. This stops you from being the uber fake nice guy. Girl call you at night asking for a ride? You don't feel like it? "No."

Some girl wants a favor at work? You have to go out of your way to do it? "No."

The thing with fake niceness is that many men do 'nice' things with hope that they are gonna get something in return. All you have to do is not do anything unless you get something. She wants a ride? Gas money. A favor? She owes you one. This is an extreme mindset to hold but it will work on getting fake niceness out of your system. Then you will really begin to do nice things just because you feel like it.

 

[MatureDJ]

The thing with fake niceness is that many men do 'nice' things with hope that they are gonna get something in return. All you have to do is not do anything unless you get something. She wants a ride? Gas money. A favor?

The old saying for female hitchhikers during the hippie era was:

Gas, Grass, Or Ass

https://www.decals-express.com/image/cache/data/other/gas grass or ass-500x500.png