Just met someone off Seeking Arrangement...

[Bible_Belt]

What, in your opinion, makes you think I need a therapist?

My ex-wife is a therapist. I used to do her homework for her when she was getting her Master's.

You have a lot of pent-up anger. You shouldn't be mad at large groups of people, like women, for things you cannot control. All of us are in the same world, but you are obsessing about things that other guys can just let go. Then you are venting that anger at individual people.

I know I sound like I am ripping on you, but you are your own worst critic. You don't see yourself as worthy of having a woman you don't have to pay. I don't see you that way at all. I see you as someone who is constantly sabotaging yourself. Your problem is not your lack of value. Your problem is your array of self-limiting beliefs.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

$250 an hour to sleep with a 9? That's pretty affordable.

I've spent more than that taking women on dates. Sh*t. I've never used a prostitute but this sounds like a good bang for the buck (pun intended).

She wasn't a 9. Her picture was, but she was a 6. However, one time I got lucky and slept with an 11 from Backpage. You should have seen her. Barely spoke English. Cost $120.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

My ex-wife is a therapist. I used to do her homework for her when she was getting her Master's.

You have a lot of pent-up anger. You shouldn't be mad at large groups of people, like women, for things you cannot control. All of us are in the same world, but you are obsessing about things that other guys can just let go. Then you are venting that anger at individual people.

I know I sound like I am ripping on you, but you are your own worst critic. You don't see yourself as worthy of having a woman you don't have to pay. I don't see you that way at all. I see you as someone who is constantly sabotaging yourself. Your problem is not your lack of value. Your problem is your array of self-limiting beliefs.

What makes me worthy of anything?

 

[Bible_Belt]

What makes me worthy of anything?

You have to answer that question for yourself, my friend. I know what I think, but you are the one with the real answer.

 

[Urbanyst]

You don't need a hooker; you need a therapist. I know I sound like a d!ck by saying that, but I don't know any other way to put it. I mean that seriously, and not as an insult, I promise.

People are too quick to tell people they need professional help these days. I disagree with you.

Therapists are really for people who are truly dysfunctional and self destructive. Therapists are not for people who deviate too much from society's expectations, but are otherwise happy and productive.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

You have to answer that question for yourself, my friend. I know what I think, but you are the one with the real answer.

I want to know what you think.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

People are too quick to tell people they need professional help these days. I disagree with you.

Therapists are really for people who are truly dysfunctional and self destructive. Therapists are not for people who deviate too much from society's expectations, but are otherwise happy and productive.

Plus, I have gone to many therapists that offered little help. What qualifies someone to be a therapist? A degree? **** that.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I want to know what you think.

I think you are never going to achieve anything in life that you don't think you are worthy of having.

Therapists are like any other group of humans; there are good and bad. I somehow doubt that you were as candid with them as you have been on here. The bulk of your problems are issues with your own self-image. If you can overcome those issues, a lot of other things in your life will start to fall into place.

 

[dustmuffin]

What, in your opinion, makes you think I need a therapist?

Why do you think we might think that you need a therapist? Go find one. You need it.

 

[Urbanyst]

Plus, I have gone to many therapists that offered little help. What qualifies someone to be a therapist? A degree? **** that.

Basically you go to college, read a textbook that tells you certain thoughts/behaviors correlate with certain mental issues. Then the book tells you what medication to give for each mental issue. You memorize that sh*t, take an exam, graduate from college.. and BOOM.. you're a therapist.

Mostly women become therapists and I think its to masturbate their egos. They get to sit back and pity all these poor souls who don't have their sh*t together as much as she does lol. Then they help them get better like a doctor.. only not really.

 

[Bible_Belt]

In the US at least, therapists don't prescribe drugs, unless they are a psychiatrist with an MD, which is rare. It's medical docs who prescribe pills. There are two ways to cure a psych problem: pills or therapy. I'm going to take any counselor's side over Big Pharma. In addition to counseling, therapy includes group discussions, like the one we are having right now.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Basically you go to college, read a textbook that tells you certain thoughts/behaviors correlate with certain mental issues. Then the book tells you what medication to give for each mental issue. You memorize that sh*t, take an exam, graduate from college.. and BOOM.. you're a therapist.

Mostly women become therapists and I think its to masturbate their egos. They get to sit back and pity all these poor souls who don't have their sh*t together as much as she does lol. Then they help them get better like a doctor.. only not really.

And what's a woman gonna tell me if I tell her all the red pill stuff I'm thinking?

Of course she's gonna tell me it's wrong. Unfortunately, the problems of the world can't be solved in some quack therapist's office.

 

[switch7]

Basically you go to college, read a textbook that tells you certain thoughts/behaviors correlate with certain mental issues. Then the book tells you what medication to give for each mental issue. You memorize that sh*t, take an exam, graduate from college.. and BOOM.. you're a therapist.

Mostly women become therapists and I think its to masturbate their egos. They get to sit back and pity all these poor souls who don't have their sh*t together as much as she does lol. Then they help them get better like a doctor.. only not really.

That's incorrect. Therapists don't give out medication. Most therapists are taught cognitive behavioural therapy which through empirical research is proven to work.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

That's incorrect. Therapists don't give out medication. Most therapists are taught cognitive behavioural therapy which through empirical research is proven to work.

You must be pretty naïve and inexperienced to think that REAL PROBLEMS can be solved through that ***** ass bull****.

 

[switch7]

You must be pretty naïve and inexperienced to think that REAL PROBLEMS can be solved through that ***** ass bull****.

I have plenty of experience. I'm not ashamed to say I've been through therapy myself. The ones who call it out as bs are either lazy or wont take responsibility for their problems i.e. victim mentality.

 

[AJ84]

I have plenty of experience. I'm not ashamed to say I've been through therapy myself. The ones who call it out as bs are either lazy or wont take responsibility for their problems i.e. victim mentality.

It's takes guts to go to therapy and do the work required to feel better. Its not like a doctor throwing a pill at the problem which helps with symptoms but doesn't change how you think, so the problem is still there. Therapy helps change those negative and destructive thought patterns that cause problems for people, but you have to walk through your own pile of s**t to come out on the other side in better shape.

It's like that saying, 'You don't have to believe everything you think.'

For some people, they would rather stew in their negative thoughts than gain any insight and make real changes, and it's always easier to blame everyone else for xyz because then all the responsibility and accountability is removed, or so they think. Not saying that's the case with the OP here, I'm just saying in general, when people balk at the concept of therapy, I wonder where that fear comes from.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

It's takes guts to go to therapy and do the work required to feel better. Its not like a doctor throwing a pill at the problem which helps with symptoms but doesn't change how you think, so the problem is still there. Therapy helps change those negative and destructive thought patterns that cause problems for people, but you have to walk through your own pile of s**t to come out on the other side in better shape.

It's like that saying, 'You don't have to believe everything you think.'

For some people, they would rather stew in their negative thoughts than gain any insight and make real changes, and it's always easier to blame everyone else for xyz because then all the responsibility and accountability is removed, or so they think. Not saying that's the case with the OP here, I'm just saying in general, when people balk at the concept of therapy, I wonder where that fear comes from.

Because I've already been there many times and it's ineffective.

 

[AJ84]

It can be frustrating seeing a therapist whose approach or therapeutic modality isn't suited for your particular concerns. For example someone needing help with panic attacks would probably not find narrative therapy useful, and someone with long standing depression due to past childhood trauma would probably not get enough from cognitive behavioural therapy and would also need narrative therapy.

I don't know what your main concern is for needing therapy and I'm not going to be intrusive around that but it's just something to think about. Certain problems require certain therapy.

From what you posted, you don't seem to see yourself as having value in the dating pool. Like I wrote earlier, paying for sex fills that physical desire but I'm not sure it will help you connect with someone who will be genuinely interested in you. Again, I'm limited by what you are posting but I'm wondering what kind of woman you are looking for. You want a hot woman but by hot, do you mean the selfie/Instagram/tight dress/ club hopping girl? If so, well those girls are more likely to think quite highly of themselves and expect men to pay them in some way for their time. In fact those are the kind of girls you would find on SA. If all of your interactions are with women like that, then you will grow to resent them and adapt an AWALT mentality which will prevent you from noticing when a decent woman comes along.

So if the pool you are swimming in is filled with entitled selfie obessed princesses, of course you will correlate your value to what you can tangibly give them because that's what's valued most, and naturally you will feel like your authentic self has no value because those women aren't interested in you, just in what you can do for them.

Maybe jump into another pool. Join a book club or another hobby group of your interest and interact with normal women. They are out there.

 

[Urbanyst]

That's incorrect. Therapists don't give out medication. Most therapists are taught cognitive behavioural therapy which through empirical research is proven to work.

They don't give out medication, but they recommend it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It can be frustrating seeing a therapist whose approach or therapeutic modality isn't suited for your particular concerns. For example someone needing help with panic attacks would probably not find narrative therapy useful, and someone with long standing depression due to past childhood trauma would probably not get enough from cognitive behavioural therapy and would also need narrative therapy.

I don't know what your main concern is for needing therapy and I'm not going to be intrusive around that but it's just something to think about. Certain problems require certain therapy.

From what you posted, you don't seem to see yourself as having value in the dating pool. Like I wrote earlier, paying for sex fills that physical desire but I'm not sure it will help you connect with someone who will be genuinely interested in you. Again, I'm limited by what you are posting but I'm wondering what kind of woman you are looking for. You want a hot woman but by hot, do you mean the selfie/Instagram/tight dress/ club hopping girl? If so, well those girls are more likely to think quite highly of themselves and expect men to pay them in some way for their time. In fact those are the kind of girls you would find on SA. If all of your interactions are with women like that, then you will grow to resent them and adapt an AWALT mentality which will prevent you from noticing when a decent woman comes along.

Those club hopper, self entitled party girls are basically the same model with different Barbie outfits... They do the same things. They will run games basically for control and we call it BPD and NPD. They don't really care about you. They care about access that you can get them, resources and whether you have social promininance, that's what they care about.

So if the pool you are swimming in is filled with entitled selfie obessed princesses, of course you will correlate your value to what you can tangibly give them because that's what's valued most, and naturally you will feel like your authentic self has no value because those women aren't interested in you, just in what you can do for them.

I'm glad you pointed this out... When we deal with these, we lose our self dignity, and our value in our authentic selves.

Maybe jump into another pool. Join a book club or another hobby group of your interest and interact with normal women. They are out there.

Yep. There will be plenty of horny babes there who are:
1. interested in your mind
2. interested in you as a person
3. somewhat coachable
4. more decent moral standards.