Back to square one...

[RichardTheFrog]

I stopped talking to the girl I had been talking to since February today.

Earlier this week, she would say I'm "acting awkward," then the next day she says I'm "being distant," and then she cooled down for a few days and then was back at it today out of nowhere. I don't even know what she's talking about, I think she's just making things up or using some nonsense female logic that makes no sense. Claiming I'm not giving her things that don't even make sense in the first place. Finally, I just told her she's not worth my time and to have a good life.

Problem is, it's not exactly easy for me to find someone new. It had been years before that one.

I'm not good at much when it comes to interacting with girls. I sometimes think my only hope is to get rich. Who's not attracted to a rich guy, right?

The bad part is that it's usually easier to meet someone when you have someone already. And when you have no one, you have a desperate vibe going on.

 

[Serenity]

Fuck getting rich for the sake of attracting a woman, getting rich is something you do for yourself. It's going to leave you disappointed and bitter if you after a few years of hard work get rich and still women won't want you, because you haven't developed an attractive personality. What a sad and fucking empty existence it would be if your money did attract a woman, you'd know you still ain't worth shit and she's just there for $$$.

You obviously didn't satisfy her need for your attention, I'm guessing it wasn't money she claimed you weren't giving her. So your conclusion is in that case irrational, she lists X, Y and Z reason and instead you conclude "must be a lack of money then". It makes no fucking sense to me.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Fuck getting rich for the sake of attracting a woman, getting rich is something you do for yourself. It's going to leave you disappointed and bitter if you after a few years of hard work get rich and still women won't want you, because you haven't developed an attractive personality. What a sad and fucking empty existence it would be if your money did attract a woman, you'd know you still ain't worth shit and she's just there for $$$.

You obviously didn't satisfy her need for your attention, I'm guessing it wasn't money she claimed you weren't giving her. So your conclusion is in that case irrational, she lists X, Y and Z reason and instead you conclude "must be a lack of money then". It makes no fucking sense to me.

I didn't say lack of money was the reason for HER. I said it's what I should do in the future. Please don't tell me this BS about "personality" when it's really about looks and, yes, money. You can have the "best personality" (whatever that means) in the world, but if you're ugly, broke, and a complete *****, it's not gonna help you. Besides, what is a "good personality," anyway? Ever noticed that girls go for jerks, *******s, and douchebags? So is that what I should be developing in my personality? Seems like a lot of trouble.

She would always come up with some **** about how I wasn't affectionate enough, then I was too distant, bla bla bla. I don't have time to play a guessing game into the nonsense emotions of a 21 year old girl.

 

[Serenity]

I didn't say lack of money was the reason for HER. I said it's what I should do in the future. Please don't tell me this BS about "personality" when it's really about looks and, yes, money. You can have the "best personality" (whatever that means) in the world, but if you're ugly, broke, and a complete *****, it's not gonna help you. Besides, what is a "good personality," anyway? Ever noticed that girls go for jerks, *******s, and douchebags? So is that what I should be developing in my personality? Seems like a lot of trouble.

She would always come up with some **** about how I wasn't affectionate enough, then I was too distant, bla bla bla. I don't have time to play a guessing game into the nonsense emotions of a 21 year old girl.

Apart from "I'm a nice guy" this is exactly what a typical "nice guy" says. Go read on r/niceguys, the similarity is striking.

It's not about looks and money, it's about you being a dick. You're free to close your ears and sing "lalala" to my advice, but it isn't gonna help you. Maybe that was the problem in the first place, you think you're such a great guy and refuse to listen to anyone suggesting that you're not. If you want an example of what's a shitty personality trait, this is one of them and probably why she said you're awkward and distant.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Apart from "I'm a nice guy" this is exactly what a typical "nice guy" says. Go read on r/niceguys, the similarity is striking.

It's not about looks and money, it's about you being a dick. You're free to close your ears and sing "lalala" to my advice, but it isn't gonna help you. Maybe that was the problem in the first place, you think you're such a great guy and refuse to listen to anyone suggesting that you're not. If you want an example of what's a shitty personality trait, this is one of them and probably why she said you're awkward and distant.

So you're saying I SHOULD be a ****?

I never said I was such a great guy. I'm selfish as hell.

 

[Serenity]

So you're saying I SHOULD be a ****?

No, I'm saying you already are that.

I never said I was such a great guy.

That was implied when you suggested becoming a jerk, as if you weren't already and had to work to become one.

I'm selfish as hell.

That's obvious and exactly why you fail with women.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

No, I'm saying you already are that.


That was implied when you suggested becoming a jerk, as if you weren't already and had to work to become one.


That's obvious and exactly why you fail with women.

What makes you think I'm a **** and a jerk? Is it because I wouldn't constantly listen to her nagging me about some emotional bull**** that I don't have time for and doesn't make sense in the first place?

Are you suggesting I become generous? Generous how? Like giving away money? Now why would I want to do that and wouldn't that just result in me getting used? Or as bigneil would say, "utilized."

I'm all ears if you have some major philosophical stuff to say that will help my game.

Now that I broke up with this girl, I'm back on SeekingArrangement.com looking for young, barely legal girls in need of help with their bills.

 

[ubercat]

Way too much attitude and insecurity. Have you read the DJ Bible?

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Way too much attitude and insecurity. Have you read the DJ Bible?

I've read everything in the world.

What that I said shows you that I have attitude and am insecure?

 

[ubercat]

So where did u learn that constantly challenging people and emphasizing your differences is the way to connect. And how do you think you could start unlearning that?

 

[RichardTheFrog]

So where did u learn that constantly challenging people and emphasizing your differences is the way to connect. And how do you think you could start unlearning that?

I don't know where I learned that. I think I always fought with people growing up. I hate both my parents (and just about everything else in the world). I don't believe other people are on my side. Maybe 1 in a million and the other 999,999 would like to see me dead. I used to have a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, but I worked on myself and now I exhibit no symptoms that qualify for such a diagnosis. I have broken my neck, broken my back, lived homeless, and been to prison. I have no friends that I can think of. Only faces that I recognize. I have learned to lack empathy with people only in reaction to seeing how people are. They are completely self-centered so why would I care what happens to them. At my job as a property manager, I have no problem evicting single mothers with nowhere else to go for being a few days late or a few dollars short. I have learned to be this way. I don't think I was born this way.

I wasn't aware that "connecting with people" was my goal. In fact, I'm not really sure what my goal is other than to reproduce before I die and not get raped through divorce or alimony in the process.

What is a better way to connect with people? And since I believe the goal of most people here is to have sex, isn't this a very shallow and fake pretending to connect just so they can convince the girl to have sex?

Also, I rarely, if ever, smile. And I rarely make eye contact for more than 0.00001 seconds, and even then, I have to force it.

 

[ubercat]

Dude your a troll or you need serious professional help. Although I guess that's a redundant statement.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

So I just rejoined Seeking Arrangement.com since I stopped talking to this girl. I have tons of hot girls wanting to **** me already. Obviously you gotta pay them but damn they are hot.

If I was super rich, this would be the way to go. Just sit in a mansion all day and have a revolving door of sugar babies.

 

[Serenity]

What makes you think I'm a **** and a jerk? Is it because I wouldn't constantly listen to her nagging me about some emotional bull**** that I don't have time for and doesn't make sense in the first place?

I think so based on how you describe reacting to her and how you're reacting to my criticism. It is exactly because you didn't listen to her emotional "bullshit" as you call it, her emotions doesn't make sense because you've suppressed your empathy and emotions. You can't understand feelings when you feel none. Also why do you think a woman want a man who doesn't listen and don't have time for her, would you like a woman doing the same? What is the point of a relationship if you're just ignoring the other persons feelings?

Are you suggesting I become generous? Generous how? Like giving away money? Now why would I want to do that and wouldn't that just result in me getting used? Or as bigneil would say, "utilized."

Yes I am suggesting you become generous, no I am not suggesting you give away money. Can you just forget the money aspect? It's not about money, it's about your complete lack of emotional availability, willingness to give a fuck and just listen. This is what she complained about, it doesn't cost you any money to do this.

I'm all ears if you have some major philosophical stuff to say that will help my game.

Listen for once. How can you expect anyone to give damn about you if you don't give a damn about them?

Now that I broke up with this girl, I'm back on SeekingArrangement.com looking for young, barely legal girls in need of help with their bills.

Again, it's not about the money, you're deluding yourself to avoid facing what you fear, your emotions. This girl is lost on you, but you can improve on the next one.

I've read everything in the world.

What that I said shows you that I have attitude and am insecure?

This is pure hubris, nobody has read everything in the world. If you have then you haven't understood half of it. With this attitude you won't learn shit and won't change, meaning you'll do the same things leading to the same results. Your insecurity shows by the way you so fiercely defend yourself in this thread.

I don't know where I learned that. I think I always fought with people growing up. I hate both my parents (and just about everything else in the world). I don't believe other people are on my side. Maybe 1 in a million and the other 999,999 would like to see me dead. I used to have a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, but I worked on myself and now I exhibit no symptoms that qualify for such a diagnosis. I have broken my neck, broken my back, lived homeless, and been to prison. I have no friends that I can think of. Only faces that I recognize. I have learned to lack empathy with people only in reaction to seeing how people are. They are completely self-centered so why would I care what happens to them. At my job as a property manager, I have no problem evicting single mothers with nowhere else to go for being a few days late or a few dollars short. I have learned to be this way. I don't think I was born this way.

Man, that's rough. I appreciate your honesty in sharing this. I don't think you were born this way either, I don't think anybody is. The fact that you have learned to be this way means you can learn to be another way. This explains a lot about why you are the way you are. I've had my share of rough experiences as well, I've been in dark places too. I don't know about you, but I started hating what a shitty human being I had become. I don't know if you're there yet, but do you really want to be as shitty towards everyone as some have been towards you?

Also, I care about you, I wouldn't respond if I didn't. I wouldn't take all this time reading your posts, trying to understand and composing a detailed reply in the hopes of helping you if I didn't care. I know my responses are rough, I'm not gonna tell you what you want to hear, I'll tell you what you need to hear for your own good.

I wasn't aware that "connecting with people" was my goal. In fact, I'm not really sure what my goal is other than to reproduce before I die and not get raped through divorce or alimony in the process.

If you do reproduce stuck in your current mindset, do you really want your child to grow up with a father as uncaring as your own? Do you really want to create another human being and give it the same shitty experience you had in life? Or do you want to learn how to deal with your past so if your child has the same struggles, you can teach them how to handle it and live a better life?

It hurt to read that one. I have an uncaring and selfish as fuck mother, it has been a source of great suffering in my life. Do I hate her? No, I have forgiven her for having bad parents herself and thus not learning the necessary skills to handle life and relationships. That shit has been passed through generations, it ends with me, I refuse to pass it along.

What is a better way to connect with people? And since I believe the goal of most people here is to have sex, isn't this a very shallow and fake pretending to connect just so they can convince the girl to have sex?

Listen to them, relate to them, find something in common. Sex is a goal for physical satisfaction, but there's more to humans than physical sensation. There's emotions and yours are in a particularly rough state. It is indeed fake and shallow to pretend to connect just to convince them to have sex. Which is why you gotta dig up your emotions and learn to care for real, this is gonna sound stupid to you but you gotta heal your wounds.

Also, I rarely, if ever, smile. And I rarely make eye contact for more than 0.00001 seconds, and even then, I have to force it.

Think about why you have to force it. Doesn't it sound stupid that such a simple thing feels so damn hard to do? It's a symptom of being hurt by other people, your fear of others is suppressed into your subconscious. You put on this "I don't give a fuck" attitude in an attempt to hide that fact, but your fear and insecurity bleeds through in your behavior. Extremely few people are capable of masking all their pain, I tend to notice such things easily as I am aware of how I used to mask my pain.

I am not your enemy, your greatest enemy is yourself.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I think so based on how you describe reacting to her and how you're reacting to my criticism. It is exactly because you didn't listen to her emotional "bullshit" as you call it, her emotions doesn't make sense because you've suppressed your empathy and emotions. You can't understand feelings when you feel none. Also why do you think a woman want a man who doesn't listen and don't have time for her, would you like a woman doing the same? What is the point of a relationship if you're just ignoring the other persons feelings?


Yes I am suggesting you become generous, no I am not suggesting you give away money. Can you just forget the money aspect? It's not about money, it's about your complete lack of emotional availability, willingness to give a fuck and just listen. This is what she complained about, it doesn't cost you any money to do this.


Listen for once. How can you expect anyone to give damn about you if you don't give a damn about them?


Again, it's not about the money, you're deluding yourself to avoid facing what you fear, your emotions. This girl is lost on you, but you can improve on the next one.


This is pure hubris, nobody has read everything in the world. If you have then you haven't understood half of it. With this attitude you won't learn shit and won't change, meaning you'll do the same things leading to the same results. Your insecurity shows by the way you so fiercely defend yourself in this thread.


Man, that's rough. I appreciate your honesty in sharing this. I don't think you were born this way either, I don't think anybody is. The fact that you have learned to be this way means you can learn to be another way. This explains a lot about why you are the way you are. I've had my share of rough experiences as well, I've been in dark places too. I don't know about you, but I started hating what a shitty human being I had become. I don't know if you're there yet, but do you really want to be as shitty towards everyone as some have been towards you?

Also, I care about you, I wouldn't respond if I didn't. I wouldn't take all this time reading your posts, trying to understand and composing a detailed reply in the hopes of helping you if I didn't care. I know my responses are rough, I'm not gonna tell you what you want to hear, I'll tell you what you need to hear for your own good.


If you do reproduce stuck in your current mindset, do you really want your child to grow up with a father as uncaring as your own? Do you really want to create another human being and give it the same shitty experience you had in life? Or do you want to learn how to deal with your past so if your child has the same struggles, you can teach them how to handle it and live a better life?

It hurt to read that one. I have an uncaring and selfish as fuck mother, it has been a source of great suffering in my life. Do I hate her? No, I have forgiven her for having bad parents herself and thus not learning the necessary skills to handle life and relationships. That shit has been passed through generations, it ends with me, I refuse to pass it along.


Listen to them, relate to them, find something in common. Sex is a goal for physical satisfaction, but there's more to humans than physical sensation. There's emotions and yours are in a particularly rough state. It is indeed fake and shallow to pretend to connect just to convince them to have sex. Which is why you gotta dig up your emotions and learn to care for real, this is gonna sound stupid to you but you gotta heal your wounds.


Think about why you have to force it. Doesn't it sound stupid that such a simple thing feels so damn hard to do? It's a symptom of being hurt by other people, your fear of others is suppressed into your subconscious. You put on this "I don't give a fuck" attitude in an attempt to hide that fact, but your fear and insecurity bleeds through in your behavior. Extremely few people are capable of masking all their pain, I tend to notice such things easily as I am aware of how I used to mask my pain.

I am not your enemy, your greatest enemy is yourself.

I spent almost all day every day talking to this girl for 4 months. From the very beginning, she said I wasn't affectionate enough. Months ago, she asked if I would work on it and she understood that that's just not the type of person I am, to show affection all the time or in great amounts. I would tell her I love her in response and send her hearts when she sent them to me and it worked for a while, but part of me was thinking that she was just trying to be emotionally manipulative so that's why I told her that she wasn't worth my time in the end because it was something new every day when I thought we had gotten over it the day before.

So basically I genuinely have to like people? Or would that be considered pretending to be a nice guy in order to get sex and get what I want.

Are you suggesting that I become extremely emotional like a girl? I'm not sure I have it in me.

 

[Serenity]

So basically I genuinely have to like people? Or would that be considered pretending to be a nice guy in order to get sex and get what I want.

Are you suggesting that I become extremely emotional like a girl? I'm not sure I have it in me.

I don't see why you'd be with a woman unless you actually like her.

I would never suggest doing anything extreme, I just suggest you listen a bit more to your feelings than you do today. Men have emotions too, but the good old stereotype of women being emotional and men not being keeps women more focused on emotions, thus they are also more skilled in dealing with them.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I don't see why you'd be with a woman unless you actually like her.

I would never suggest doing anything extreme, I just suggest you listen a bit more to your feelings than you do today. Men have emotions too, but the good old stereotype of women being emotional and men not being keeps women more focused on emotions, thus they are also more skilled in dealing with them.

You'll have to excuse me. I've been spending too much time on the MGTOW forums. I finally got into arguments with those people and realized I'm not entirely like them, although they do make some good points.

I'm wondering if I could just apologize to this girl and say it was a misunderstanding, but I also don't want to be a wimp. I should be able to just find someone else. I think when she was asking me for endless amounts of affection, she is really just missing her daddy. Plus, it was long-distance so what's the real point?

Truthfully, I didn't love her. I'm not sure if that had anything to do with her, or if I'm just not capable of love in my current emotional state.

It's probably my motivations and intentions that are behind my interactions with women that are messing me up and causing me to be silent when around them.

I feel a lack of respect from them that I think I have earned. I feel like I have enough life experience under my belt and gone through enough hardships that girls should start showing me respect. But they don't. I don't know if it's a problem with the younger generation of entitled, narcissistic, spoiled girls that just doesn't know how to show respect. I don't know what it is but I feel like I will never get it from them no matter what I do. I'm pretty sure a female bartender added a zero to her tip and turned a $2 tip into a $20 tip last time I was down town and super drunk. I did nothing to this girl, yet this is how she blatantly disrespects me? Is it just how they were raised or is it more personal that they don't respect ME.

 

[Serenity]

You'll have to excuse me. I've been spending too much time on the MGTOW forums. I finally got into arguments with those people and realized I'm not entirely like them, although they do make some good points.

I'm wondering if I could just apologize to this girl and say it was a misunderstanding, but I also don't want to be a wimp. I should be able to just find someone else. I think when she was asking me for endless amounts of affection, she is really just missing her daddy. Plus, it was long-distance so what's the real point?

Truthfully, I didn't love her. I'm not sure if that had anything to do with her, or if I'm just not capable of love in my current emotional state.

It's probably my motivations and intentions that are behind my interactions with women that are messing me up and causing me to be silent when around them.

I feel a lack of respect from them that I think I have earned. I feel like I have enough life experience under my belt and gone through enough hardships that girls should start showing me respect. But they don't. I don't know if it's a problem with the younger generation of entitled, narcissistic, spoiled girls that just doesn't know how to show respect. I don't know what it is but I feel like I will never get it from them no matter what I do. I'm pretty sure a female bartender added a zero to her tip and turned a $2 tip into a $20 tip last time I was down town and super drunk. I did nothing to this girl, yet this is how she blatantly disrespects me? Is it just how they were raised or is it more personal that they don't respect ME.

You don't automatically get respect for being through hardship, they know nothing about your past. They judge you based on your behavior towards them. Respect is not something you demand, it's something you have to earn from each individual person.

The MGTOW guys do have some valid points, but they generally take it too far. They're a bit extreme about it.

I don't think you should apologize, in your current state I think it might take you down a bad path. I think you should instead try to learn from your mistakes and do better with the next girl. Also, since it was long distance there's no point.

I wish you luck.