Tips On How To Handle First Dates?

[soulforge]

I recently screwed up a first date, with a seriously hot online chick.. so need tips for any future dates coming my way..

firstly I presented myself in quite a confident manner.. I made her laugh quite a lot.. but I believe I did too much talking..

I also made the first move, I told her to sit closer.. then kissed her.. she did not pull away.. in fact she wanted to kiss more..

and kept telling me how good my lips are..

after the date.. I made a mistake of pretty much immediately asking her on another date, then texting her a few times over the following two days.. I believe she lost interest..

another big mistake.. I drank too much alcohol.. when I drink, I become too relaxed.. and talk too much.

so how best to handle a date..

is it best to talk a little about yourself, point out all the great things you are doing, then become aloof??

is it best to let her talk more, and remain somewhat of a mystery, or maybe even act a little bored?

should you always go for the kiss? if you want to bang her?

 

[stovepipe]

Seems you are aware of your mistakes. Its probably your breakup that's affecting you a little bit. Hard to get back out there without making mistakes.

Re-read your post and don't make those same mistakes.

I made some mistakes last week on my first date. She texted me the next morning at 7am even when I told her I wasn't a morning person saying she had fun, texted her back the same. I was kind of pissed she woke me up, but knew she wanted another date. Also, I wanted to kiss her, but knew she wasn't that type of girl so I didn't try (she's a cop). I could tell she was LTR materiel which I respected.

Made the mistake of waiting 5 days to text her. Now she won't answer my text, don't want to try again n look desperate. I got along with her very well, texted a bunch prior. Oh well, live and learn.

This other single mom sloot who I never met has been trying to waste my time via text almost everyday. Got tired of her BS and finally just said I wanted to smash, she said hopefully soon. Then today I asked her to get a sitter so I can get a hotel by her crib (she lives a little ways). She flat said "no, wouldn't be a good idea". Said ok, delete that chit....Next

You did a lot of things right. The more dates you go on, the better you will get.

As for who should do more talking. For me, I find when I ask women questions about herself they tend to enjoy it. I'm not a fan of talking about myself a lot, women like the focus on them. Obviously it varies from women to women. You kinda just feel them out and know after a few mins.

Don't drink too much unless she does. Alcohol can cause one to say and do stupid chit.

Kissing on the first date isn't always a good idea. Your intuition kinda makes that decision for you.

 

[Serenity]

Of course they become skeptical when you're jumping at them immediately after first date, it would seem like you haven't had pussy for years. It seems very desperate and you also appear to be an idiot with little concern for yourself. Women know how other women can be horrible, they know that a man who takes a woman on the spot without some thought has got to be dumb as fuck. I don't act aloof for a couple of days after a first date, I process the first date to decide if I even want to continue with a particular woman. Could lose you some pussy, but save you a lot of trouble.

Do not act aloof or act interested. Either you're interested or you're not, don't be a pretender to impress a woman. If she's on your level the conversation should flow naturally on both sides.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Tips for first date:

Let her do most of the talking.
Keep it to 1-1.5 hours.
Keep your paws to yourself.
Make her laugh.
Ask questions about her, then ask follow up questions
Be the first one to end the date.
Dont text her after the date.

Then cross your fingers. Those should maximize your chances of getting a second date. However, sometimes she's just not feeling you.

The formula is a little different if you're specifically going for the one night lay. This advice assumes you have the means and logistics to date this woman normally, over a span of a month or more.

 

[SmooveMooves]

There's no set way to handle dates. Social interactions vary extremely depending on the people. They are fluid. If you are making out with a chick on the first date, you did not have a bad first date. Where you fūcked up is after the date where you acted needy. You're older and should know better. She probably felt that way too, which is why you won't be seeing her again. Keep doing what you're doing on dates, just stop being needy.

 

[soulforge]

There's no set way to handle dates. Social interactions vary extremely depending on the people. They are fluid. If you are making out with a chick on the first date, you did not have a bad first date. Where you fūcked up is after the date where you acted needy. You're older and should know better. She probably felt that way too, which is why you won't be seeing her again. Keep doing what you're doing on dates, just stop being needy.

this is exactly where I went wrong man... the date itself went great..

I had her laughing loads.. I sold myself well.. I sounded rather assertive, when I told her to sit closer, then we kissed..

she enjoyed the kiss.. I could tell.. she didn't pull away, in fact she came in closer..

what I did wrong?

I drank a little too much (not making that mistake again)

I should have ended the date, rather than her ending it.

I should not have pretty much immediately asked her on another date

she even sent me a text the next morning, stating how good my lips are for kissing, and my chest feels good

I should have remained cool.. just laughed it off, then let her make a move..

hope for the best.. and if not.. then NEXT

thing is I have been out of the dating game for at least two years..

plus come out of a toxic relationship, so still finding my feet.

but damn.. this girl was fire!!

slim, big boobs, tanned sexy skin... defo not happy about messing this up..

more to come I suppose

 

[RangerMIke]

You know what you could do better. Make those changes and you should be fine.

The best single thing that you can do is to go into a first date with a chick that you are not sure if you like her and that she has to prove herself to you. It's a mindset a man has when he knows he has options.

 

[Glassguy]

As far as first dates, I try to look at them as "qualification" without giving the vibe of an interview.

Women love to talk and will tell you everything you want to know (even what they shouldnt tell you early on) if you just piece the conversation together and keep it going. "Tell me about that"...."oh really".....just keep the convo going.

When they ask me something about myself I stay vague and go into no detail and normally twist the convo back to something they said that I want to know more about.

I leave the first dates with a lot of info on them, while I stay, for the most part, a mystery.

Even if you're an average to above average guy, you are still selling yourself. I sell myself based on coolness, laid back and smooth instead of using words. I let my actions speak way more than my mouth while on those early dates.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

I recently screwed up a first date, with a seriously hot online chick.. so need tips for any future dates coming my way..

firstly I presented myself in quite a confident manner.. I made her laugh quite a lot.. but I believe I did too much talking..

I also made the first move, I told her to sit closer.. then kissed her.. she did not pull away.. in fact she wanted to kiss more..

and kept telling me how good my lips are..

after the date.. I made a mistake of pretty much immediately asking her on another date, then texting her a few times over the following two days.. I believe she lost interest..

another big mistake.. I drank too much alcohol.. when I drink, I become too relaxed.. and talk too much.

so how best to handle a date..

is it best to talk a little about yourself, point out all the great things you are doing, then become aloof??

is it best to let her talk more, and remain somewhat of a mystery, or maybe even act a little bored?

should you always go for the kiss? if you want to bang her?

Be relaxed, on first fates women are stressed as well, use indirect compliments (Nice earrings, nice purse, nothing that can be interpreted sexually) and drift the conversation away from topics that will put her at the defensive. Read her body language (BigNeil has an interesting topic about this), once you see she start relaxing go for innocent body contact (touch her arm, touch her hand for a second, etc) make her feel easy at your touch. If you see she starts mirroring find a moment for the kill and do not hesitate, go for the kiss. (Ideally by that moment a couple of drinks will be already in her system).
This was my standard routine, if it was an arranged date (meaning that she is attracted to you) it rarely fails.
Good luck mate, enjoy dating, and don't take it personally, women are a complicated animal.

 

[wifehunter]

You know what you could do better. Make those changes and you should be fine.

The best single thing that you can do is to go into a first date with a chick that you are not sure if you like her and that she has to prove herself to you. It's a mindset a man has when he knows he has options.

Even if a guy has no other options. She should still be proving herself, because most chicks are garbage.

 

[soulforge]

This is gold dust guys.. I will defo be applying these methods in future dates...


Shame this last chick got away.. because I would have banged her from here till next week..

One thing for certain, alcohol on first date, brings out the idiot in me... less alcohol next time

 

[Bible_Belt]

Two drinks at a bar is as much of a date an any woman will get out of me. After those two drinks, attempt to isolate. Your place is great, but if she won't go for that, then have somewhere else you can take her to at least make out. I have an abandoned bridge I like to go to.

If she won't go for either of those options, then in a polite, non-p!ssy sort of way, tell her that is was nice to meet her, pay for the drinks and leave. If she texts you again after that, I'd answer, but I would not be the one to text first.

Either she's interested, or she's not. I think that is where a lot of guys become frustrated with dating. They continue to throw money and attention to women who they think are hot, and don't care that those women are not that interested.

 

[stovepipe]

I had a ch

This is gold dust guys.. I will defo be applying these methods in future dates...


Shame this last chick got away.. because I would have banged her from here till next week..

One thing for certain, alcohol on first date, brings out the idiot in me... less alcohol next time

I did the same last week, drank too much, she only drank 1. She texted me the next morning after our date saying she had fun. I'm regretting waiting 5 days to ask her out again, now she wont return my texts. Kicking myself, chick was awesome and we got a long very well. It was her being a cop that made me hesitate asking her out again. Live and learn I guess, but this one will eat at me for a while.

I'm sure your next date will be better. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Have you tried getting to the bar a little early and having a drink or two before your date arrives?

 

[soulforge]

I had a ch


I did the same last week, drank too much, she only drank 1. She texted me the next morning after our date saying she had fun. I'm regretting waiting 5 days to ask her out again, now she wont return my texts. Kicking myself, chick was awesome and we got a long very well. It was her being a cop that made me hesitate asking her out again. Live and learn I guess, but this one will eat at me for a while.

I'm sure your next date will be better. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Have you tried getting to the bar a little early and having a drink or two before your date arrives?

Don't leave it 5 days brah.. thats way too long man.. strike while the iron his hot.. or at least warm!

Don't worry, there will be other bishes to come..

Yeh i think just one before she arrives is fine.. After that, i will be sticking with just one light drink..

I,m not thinking straight with alcohol.. become too relaxed..

So this is one thing that needs to be avoided in the future

 

[stovepipe]

Don't leave it 5 days brah.. thats way too long man.. strike while the iron his hot.. or at least warm!

Don't worry, there will be other bishes to come..

Yeh i think just one before she arrives is fine.. After that, i will be sticking with just one light drink..

I,m not thinking straight with alcohol.. become too relaxed..

So this is one thing that needs to be avoided in the future

I'd say 2-3 days tops to ask for a 2nd? More than that and she loses interest. Stupid me!

Too relaxed can be a good thing. You just gotta watch what you do. How many drinks really depends on the person.

I tend to get more comfortable after a few, more than that and I start to say stupid ch!t.

Getting there early and having a drink first defiantly helped me loosen up and prepare

 

[Glassguy]

I'd say 2-3 days tops to ask for a 2nd? More than that and she loses interest. Stupid me!

Too relaxed can be a good thing. You just gotta watch what you do. How many drinks really depends on the person.

I tend to get more comfortable after a few, more than that and I start to say stupid ch!t.

Getting there early and having a drink first defiantly helped me loosen up and prepare

Wait a couple days and send her a very vague message and see if she responds.

 

[stovepipe]

Wait a couple days and send her a very vague message and see if she responds.

Too late. Think I know what happened. During our date I mentioned how a crazy chick was texting me at 7am and I thought it was rude.

The morning after our date, she texted me "it's 7:01 lol, I had fun with you". I told her I had fun and to have a good day. She texted again saying the same.

Then 5 days go by. I think due to my lack of communication, she thought I took her early morning text personally cause I mentioned how I didn't like that lady doing it and she is embarrassed or ashamed at herself. On day 5 I texted "good evening" no response. This morning I texted her again saying I'd like to see her again, no response. I don't want to push my luck anymore.

 

[Glassguy]

Yeah you waited way too long and she knows you're trying to play games. She lost interest.

 

[stovepipe]

Yeah you waited way too long and she knows you're trying to play games. She lost interest.

Sounds about right. Oh well.

 

[devilkingx2]

after the date.. I made a mistake of pretty much immediately asking her on another date, then texting her a few times over the following two days.. I believe she lost interest..

my opinion: if she lost interest because you talked to her and wanted to go on a second date, she didn't really have much interest left at all in the first place.

picture her thinking this in her mind:

her: man I really liked that guy but then he wanted to see me again and didn't ignore my texts, fvcking gross what a loser. I wish I could find a man who is completely uninterested, sigh.

does that make sense to you?

now picture this instead:

her: I shouldn't have been so polite/drank so much on that lame ass date, now he won't leave me alone.

does that make more sense?