DJ: How you improve? What makes you attractive

[Von]

We talk alot about women and the importance of self-improvement.

I've been here 1 year... yet to finish the DJ Bible (should put more time into that) and been reading mostly the first page of each forum.

Tips are given, lessons learned, perspective shared.... one thing I didn't see... positive introspection.

1) WHAT MAKES YOU ATTRATIVE?

2) what makes you beta?

3) What make you wanna GO HARD OR DIE?

.... My personal answers:
1) I have charisma... I attract people and give them confidence.

2) I've a hard time connecting to people... especially emotion wise... the further I get in the dating life... the less I am focus... I feel new is always better and easier... relating to point1... first image vs the real deal expectations

3) Been raised in a stable household but with untrusty people around... so I feel I wanna have people around me and bound with them

--
This site helped alot about framing my mind and actions... I have seen results... My life is currently in scarcity mode due to deadlines: Work, Gym,Dance, Study 90hours a week... repeat... but in the past month... doing just a focus on myself... I got a couple of girls asking me out (first time in 28years of life)

So what makes you attractive? What makes you weak? What makes you wanna progress?

This thread can be linked to Guru recent post about making it big.
Here's a funny oneliner website i've found: http://onelinefun.com/flirty/

 

[wifehunter]

Frame and posture make the man. Getting results, is motivating. Having power greater than myself, is unfair to everyone else. Play to win!

 

[AlphaNate]

So what makes you attractive?

Frame, looks, personality, status, money, goals.

What makes you weak?

Ego.

What makes you wanna progress?

Because I'm a man, not a p*ssy.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

So what makes you attractive?

-Appearance, sense of humour, down to earth personality, being my own man.

What makes you weak?

-Lack of will power, hedonism, neglect of personal standards.

What makes you wanna progress?

-Inspiration from others. Pursuit of personal goals. The beauty in nature.

 

[resilient]

So what makes you attractive?

No debt. J/k. Work out and eat healthy daily. Diverse interests.

What makes you weak?

Exclusivity rush. Won't be doing that again.

What makes you wanna progress?

Abundance.

 

[Roober]

So what makes you attractive?

I am very approachable, tend to just introduce myself to anyone, anywhere, positive attitude, tall, and fit. Ambitious. Spontaneous

What makes you weak?

Not very confident in my looks, low self-esteem. I know I don't outwardly display it, but I feel it. Still have AFC tendencies...

What makes you wanna progress?

My two boys, want to set a great example for them. Early retirement. More money. Career. Creative thinker with new ideas

 

[Red Legg]

I am very approachable, tend to just introduce myself to anyone, anywhere, positive attitude, tall, and fit. Ambitious. Spontaneous



Not very confident in my looks, low self-esteem. I know I don't outwardly display it, but I feel it. Still have AFC tendencies...



My two boys, want to set a great example for them. Early retirement. More money. Career. Creative thinker with new ideas

Isn't it funny that no matter how much "game" we learn that we still have to fight AFC tendencies? It can be a daily battle, but working out and jogging helps me tremendously.

 

[RangerMIke]

It really all boils down to how you make people feel when they are with you. You want to be a person that others feel like you give them value by being with them. You do this by being interested in what others do and say. You do this by active listening and making an effort to build rapport based on THEIR interests. When you first met someone they should be doing 75-90% of the talking. You should be carefully listening to what they say.... as Stephan Covey said most people don't listen, they are waiting for their turn to speak.

Another thing dudes fvck up when meeting chicks is that they supplicate too much, too many empty compliments, and you come of as too needy... if you are too needy you are not projecting giving: you are projecting 'wanting'. If you have an attitude that you are there to give value, you will do well.

I really am surprised that many guys have a hard time with this... meeting chicks. It really is intuitive. You know why you are attracted to her, tell her this, if she is wearing a low cut dress, don't come out and say "Nice t!ts" (although under certain circumstances that can actually work, but you really have to know what you are doing and the mood (humor) has to be right)... You say "I couldn't help but notice you from across the room, what is your name" looking her in the eyes, she isn't stupid... she knows what she is wearing and how men respond. Then you ask her how she got there, who else she might know at the party/event/club. Then shut up an listen.

If she likes you she will talk, and all you will have to do is ask and occasional question about what she is saying so she knows you are listening. Sooner or later she will say something that you can build rapport on, then you do that... but it really should be something real... don;t tell her that you like collecting Lladro statues or some bvll**** if it isn't the truth... she will likely know when you are no being honest... chicks are remarkable lie detectors. Build a little emotional connection, then ask her out.... or ask fro her number.

If at any time during all this you find yourself having to work to get her to talk, just walk away and find another one... she is not interested. If she is giving you one word answers or isn't working to keep your attention, break away... go talk to other chicks. You can circle around an try again later, but your best bet is just to see it for what it is low interest.

 

[homie]

chicks are remarkable lie detectors

Hahaha great story mate

 

[RedZone]

Personally, I think it all boils down to attitude. Will you put in the work and be a better person or will you give up. I always look at MJF. The man was on top of the world and then he got sick. He could of easily packed it in and mope, but he doesnt. He fights. Still occasionally acts. That's what makes people amazing. Do you thrive with what you have or do you fold like a cheap tent? Well, that's what I believe anyway.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Think healing your passed wounds and learning to be attractive organically rather than out of reaction of running away from pain is the way to go..

 

[BeExcellent]

What makes me attractive: Sexual allure in an elegant and intelligent package. Looks, presence, self assured confidence, humility, humor & an unpredictability factor.

What makes me weak: When I am in a place of indecision, worry or self doubt.

What makes me want to progress: Looking back on where I've come from, looking forward at possibility & aspiration; seeing others whose progress or story inspires me.

What I want to put into the world: Joy, fun, uplifting & encouraging energy, passion, truth

 

[Von]

What you think you can do improve these ''weakness''... improve your attractiveness / frame...

1) I attract people fast, but I noticed the image sometimes don't meet the reality... so I have to work extra hard to make it, keep that trust... also, since I want people to trust... I become excited to the idea of building something (so probably it shows needyness)

2) Relating to dating: Girls who are interested but I screw up or it goes south while someone else might have just pulled it fast.

3) To solve it: I've been focusing on my career and body, also, decided to act straight forward and direct... no more ''bending''... it's my way or the highway. Finally, to just do what I want when I see someone interesting. Match confidence/bold with words.

Recently, I've meet girls who want to ''take it slow'',... this is unsual for me but i'll make my point3 remain and act no different than what I wanna do now (push until break?)... cause it seems the more I care... the less I win

 

[Konada]

If you're getting attraction from the start, attraction is not the issue. Incongruence is. What you portray yourself is isn't the real Von and women sniff it out in 2 dates.

You have 2 options:
1) Keep building on that alpha facade
2) Remove it and show your true self from the start. Its a tougher road and you're bound to fail more than usual but in the long run you don't have to worry about frame because it comes naturally to you.

 

[zekko]

I kind of got stuck on the first question. It's a great question, I would imagine a real DJ or natural would be able to reel off the answer. I have good posture, frame, carry myself well, and have a natural masculinity.

But what makes me attractive physically? I look good enough to get girls, but I know I'm fairly average looking. When I think of my pluses, there is usually a minus to accompany it.

For example, I'm muscular. But I'm not as muscular as I could be, or was at my peak. Because after 30+ years of lifting, I have some repitition injuries that prevent me from hitting it as hard as I used to.

Girls compliment my gray hair. But surely having my original dark hair would be sexier and more virile looking.

I have blue eyes BUT statistically women prefer brown AND I wear glasses (not eligible for contacts or lasix). I could go on down the list.

 

[Von]

If you're getting attraction from the start, attraction is not the issue. Incongruence is. What you portray yourself is isn't the real Von and women sniff it out in 2 dates.

You have 2 options:
1) Keep building on that alpha facade
2) Remove it and show your true self from the start. Its a tougher road and you're bound to fail more than usual but in the long run you don't have to worry about frame because it comes naturally to you.

I think, i've got this better covered... but yeah... I don't understand ''what's is the real me or not'

 

[Lejames]

I eat ass

 

[bigneil]

The key to being attractive is not being unattractive.