Cheating

[SkrooU]

Why did you or didn't you cheat on someone?
If you did, then did you feel justified or remorseful?
Did you eventually confess?

 

[The Duke]

I've never cheated on any girls. I've always been straight forward from the start about my intentions. Its guilt that I never have to live with and I take pride in having the self control to pull it off. Only weak people cheat and lie.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I cheat all the time. No quality woman of any substance will be ok with you telling her that you're going to continue fvcking other women while you're with her.

However, my last experience really taught me a good lesson. I hurt a lot of people. You can read the details of my story in this thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/gf-found-out-i-cheated-can-i-turn-this-around.238555/

As you can see, three people were devasted by my actions. I caused a lot of pain and as you can see from my posts I regret what I did and feel really bad about it. I tried to justify my actions based on technicalities but basically I knew what I was doing was wrong. When I'm caught or there are strong suspicions of my cheating I generally deny, deny, deny but with my recent situation I was caught red handed with the two women involved actually speaking to each other and sharing details and dates of when they saw me and what we did. So denial or milking the facts was not an option.

I felt embarrassed, I felt like the biggest as*hole, and I felt really bad about it. I felt really bad about myself. I actually cared for both the girls involved a lot and even got depressed over what I did. It hit me hard I was surprised and how negatively it affected me. Seeing them cry and yell and realize I had lied to their faces and ruined their dreams of a good boyfriend, relationship, and marriage really made me look down on myself and my actions. I still feel really low about myself for what I did.

That being said, cheating is the dark side of spinning plates - a concept which is so important for guys to apply these days in this terrible dating market.

It's ok to be able to date lots of girls in the beginning of a relationship but it gets murky.. at what point do you tell the girls you're seeing that you're banging lots of other women? And at what point do you decide to put all your eggs in one basket and focus on one woman?

These decisions and choices aren't always so clear cut.

I've tried the angle of being transparent and telling them "I don't want to be locked down at this point in life, so do what you need to do outside of me. That we probably would end up spending most of our time together", but they feel hotter about the lie, it's not as exciting and many of them are not up for it. A lot of women like to feel they "won" or "stole" someones man.

Have you been successful at all being more transparent about it?

 

[Serenity]

1. I cheated on my girlfriend because I was at a place of opportunity, had an impulse of curiosity and failed to think it through since I was drunk.

2. There's no part if it I justify. Not only was the experience in itself sh!tty, but I cannot justify what I wouldn't have liked done towards me. I felt pretty sh!t about it for some days after even though no real damage was caused, but I learned my lesson.

3. I have not confessed and probably I never will. I have suffered for this already, I won't repeat it and I see no reason to hurt her under this circumstance.

 

[Desdinova]

Why did you or didn't you cheat on someone?

I wasn't happy with my marriage. My wife was never home and I was lonely.

If you did, then did you feel justified or remorseful?

No remorse here. It felt great receiving attention from a woman again.

Did you eventually confess?

No. The only people who knew about the affair were me and her, although her fiancee suspected something was going on.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

I was in very long relation ship for many years. I was not happy for couple last years (sic!) even though I've never cheated. I ended a relationship to find new options. That is a fair thing to do.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Why did you or didn't you cheat on someone?

If you did, then did you feel justified or remorseful?
Did you eventually confess?

This was all after my divorce. Never cheated on my ex wf, thought about it but never did.

One that I cheated on she had a low libido.
I didn't cheat on the Latina, our libidos matched, no reason to I guess.

Sometimes I did feel justified, sometimes remorseful but not a whole lot.

Never confessed, never caught.

The whole keeping the house clean of possible left items and cleaning sheets all the time gets old.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I used a hidden app for messages and pics. Never had to worry about that part.

There where a few times the fwb would leave marks on my body. I don't think the gf would ever even notice, if she did I'd blame it on hockey.

The thrill part was definitely exciting but it was also draining mentally and physically. I think I did it to see if karma was a real thing.

I don't think I'll ever do it again, as far as being in a RL.

 

[SkrooU]

I used a hidden app for messages and pics. Never had to worry about that part.

There where a few times the fwb would leave marks on my body. I don't think the gf would ever even notice, if she did I'd blame it on hockey.

The thrill part was definitely exciting but it was also draining mentally and physically. I think I did it to see if karma was a real thing.

I don't think I'll ever do it again, as far as being in a RL.

So has this affected your ability to trust someone in a relationship?
Since you know how easy it is to cheat, how do you have confidence that someone isn't doing the same to you?

 

[Alvafe]

I don't cheat mostly because I like to keep my word on this, if I say I will do something I will do that thing, I also keep things like this if I find she cheated don't matter when, how, or how long ago it was, its a termination.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

I used a hidden app for messages and pics.

What is the name of the app?

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

Yep and no no remorse. I'm a firm believer in men having backup plans after what I've been through..

 

[hockeyfreak79]

So has this affected your ability to trust someone in a relationship?

Since you know how easy it is to cheat, how do you have confidence that someone isn't doing the same to you?

Not really. Haven't meet anyone worthy of RL and not really looking.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

What is the name of the app?

The app I used was Vault-Hide SMS, it use to be free. I think they charge for it now. There are
a ton of other apps.