Ex trying to friendzone me?

[Bobby bouch'e]

The reason my ex and i broke up was really stupid and had nothing to do with our compatibility, so i want her back.she texts me every day and sometimes wants to talk on the phone.from the things she has said i cant get a good reading on wether she wants to get back together or not.im out of town for a month but i THINK she may want to do just that when i get home....i cant be sure though.my problem is i dont want her to start viewing me as a friend so im not sure how to respond when she contacts me talking about her problems.i dont wanna be too cold and distant and make her think im shooting her down but at the same time i dont want her thinking ill be her emotional support as a friend either.please help me out with this guys....any advice?

 

[sazc]

I'm not a guy so I might get this wrong, but how about, when she texts you about her problems, you respond by saying "why dont you come over here and we can cuddle, and you can tell me all about it, and I will make you feel better with my pen1s?" Okay, leave the 'with my penis' part out, but wont that get you a good read on how she is feeling?

 

[Billtx49]

The scenario -
You are currently out of town for a month and busy. Too busy to get into long texting discussions or calls with her… Suggest now, a personal meet up and catch up when you get back in town if she wants to talk. Her needs, whatever they may be, can wait until then.
If she's serious about something happening, it builds anticipation and you get a face 2 face, if she's not serious, she will get flakey about a meet up.

 

[WanderingMan]

Bro...

If you want to listen to her problems, then listen to her problems. Fine. However, as with any listening of problems of women, here's the cardinal rule: don't try to give out rational logical advice, it will accomplish absolutely 0 <--------ZERO. If it doesn't accomplish 0 then it will accomplish less than 0 (negative). When she tells you her problems, instead, change her mood: change her state ------------> Joke around with her, tease her, change the subject to something "cheery". Get her out of her 'problems' that probably aren't real problems to begin with or are just problems that, no matter how much good advice you give her, she would never be able to solve anyways. And, if they actually happen to be real problems that she's miraculously open to receiving advice in order to further miraculously apply that advice to actually solving those problems(miraculously), then by you spending your long amounts of time and energy investing in helping her with those problems while you two are currently broken up while you're still pining after her, will only lead to one place, as you have already foreseen: the friendzone.

Capisce?

 

[Chev.Chelios]

anything ex related is fcked..
move on, now. you have no kids that tie you both together.
move on now, its so easy im jealous of you.
please man, dont do this to yourself.
youre ex is just going to fck you up, man.

PleeASEEEEEEE just move on!!!
youre going to come back 3 months from now, read this, and wish you did.
-chev

 

[speed dawg]

The reason my ex and i broke up was really stupid and had nothing to do with our compatibility,

Yeah OKAY. Come on bro, who do you think you are talking to here? She dumped you because you went AFC. Moving on.....

so i want her back.she texts me every day and sometimes wants to talk on the phone.from the things she has said i cant get a good reading on wether she wants to get back together or not.im out of town for a month but i THINK she may want to do just that when i get home....i cant be sure though.my problem is i dont want her to start viewing me as a friend so im not sure how to respond when she contacts me talking about her problems.i dont wanna be too cold and distant and make her think im shooting her down but at the same time i dont want her thinking ill be her emotional support as a friend either.please help me out with this guys....any advice?

Like others have said, stop talking about her problems and escalate. You'll get your answer. But the ultimate end game is like Chev.Chelios said....she's an ex for a reason, and she'll end up ripping your heart out. Look what she's doing to you now.

 

[Bobby bouch'e]

I'm not a guy so I might get this wrong, but how about, when she texts you about her problems, you respond by saying "why dont you come over here and we can cuddle, and you can tell me all about it, and I will make you feel better with my pen1s?" Okay, leave the 'with my penis' part out, but wont that get you a good read on how she is feeling?

Thats actually not bad advice at all...i just cant use it here because the situations soooo complicated haha.we both know well see each other again because we have a daughter together.i cant flirt with her because weve already half assed implied that we may talk seriously again in the future so if i do that she wont be guessing anything anymore and will feel that she can do whatever she wants without any pressure.her attraction fir me would likely drop.

 

[Bobby bouch'e]

anything ex related is fcked..
move on, now. you have no kids that tie you both together.
move on now, its so easy im jealous of you.
please man, dont do this to yourself.
youre ex is just going to fck you up, man.

PleeASEEEEEEE just move on!!!
youre going to come back 3 months from now, read this, and wish you did.
-chev

I actually left out the fact that we do have a daughter.your right though and i am completley prepared to move on if i need to i just think it deserves ONE real chance because we never really had a real run...we really didnt even date so much as she was crazy in love with me and i ignored her.i didnt know what i had.

 

[Bobby bouch'e]

Yeah OKAY. Come on bro, who do you think you are talking to here? She dumped you because you went AFC. Moving on.....


Like others have said, stop talking about her problems and escalate. You'll get your answer. But the ultimate end game is like Chev.Chelios said....she's an ex for a reason, and she'll end up ripping your heart out. Look what she's doing to you now.

Tru, i did go afc. However at first she was afc and i didnt give her time of day.later on i realized she was a good girl and that i was too harsh in my decision.so i feel like i need to atleast try so if nothing else i can get closure.after that if we dont work ill be ok with it.

 

[Bobby bouch'e]

Bro...

If you want to listen to her problems, then listen to her problems. Fine. However, as with any listening of problems of women, here's the cardinal rule: don't try to give out rational logical advice, it will accomplish absolutely 0 <--------ZERO. If it doesn't accomplish 0 then it will accomplish less than 0 (negative). When she tells you her problems, instead, change her mood: change her state ------------> Joke around with her, tease her, change the subject to something "cheery". Get her out of her 'problems' that probably aren't real problems to begin with or are just problems that, no matter how much good advice you give her, she would never be able to solve anyways. And, if they actually happen to be real problems that she's miraculously open to receiving advice in order to further miraculously apply that advice to actually solving those problems(miraculously), then by you spending your long amounts of time and energy investing in helping her with those problems while you two are currently broken up while you're still pining after her, will only lead to one place, as you have already foreseen: the friendzone.

Capisce?

I see what your saying but if im still making her feel good while we arent together wont that still say to her that she can get what she wants from me without dating me, thus promoting f'zone?

 

[Chev.Chelios]

I actually left out the fact that we do have a daughter.your right though and i am completley prepared to move on if i need to i just think it deserves ONE real chance because we never really had a real run...we really didnt even date so much as she was crazy in love with me and i ignored her.i didnt know what i had.

Alright well **** man, are you an older guy? Younger? Im 24 and had to break it off with my ex exactly a year ago, we have a 2 year old son together, i was totaly oblivious to the repercusions of dumping babys mom while i still loved her. (She lost respect for me, dumped her.out of ego)Sent me into the wildest oneitus heartbreak for a year straight) every nasty dirty trick females can play on a mans pysch i was forced.to endure. It was impossible. Of course thats just my experience. I dont know where youre at in terms of your dating/dj life, im still a newbie..

if this is a oneitus love BE SOO FUXKING GODDANM.CAREFUL IF YOU DKNT KNOW.WHAT YOUR GETTING.INTO YOUR FUUCCKKEEDD

- child support
- woman have all.the.rights
- 1000s of dirt bag men that are eager to take
Your.place for that single mom snatch.
She will.literally drop off youre kid unannounced while she runs to her new.boyfriends.house to.get ****ed for.days straight
- risk never seeing your son again if she flips out and another man brings drugs and abuse.into.theyre lives, completely outside of your control(unless your a criminal)
- you will have to.see her everyday other day for 18 years(no contact is impossible.. if youre determined to.raise your child properly)

Or if you simply dont love her or your kid.. fck it bail out and move away hahah, and youre an actual emotionaly healthy ****ing human being like im not.. then dont worry about.it.

If you dont love her and are abundant with woman youre golden..

If you still do love her and she wont take you back get ready for wild ride, im here with you brotha.. stick together!

 

[El Payaso]

She's an ex.

You don't go into the dumpster to search for food. You go to the grocery store and buy new food.

 

[WanderingMan]

I see what your saying but if im still making her feel good while we arent together wont that still say to her that she can get what she wants from me without dating me, thus promoting f'zone?

Good question, and I'm not 100% sure of the answer here. However, there are different ways to making her "feel good". There's making her feel good by telling her what she wants to hear, or by buying her things, or by being her "yes-man". However, what you would be doing would be illiciting deeper emotions, you're not just making her "feel good", you're making her miss you.

 

[backseatjuan]

The reason my ex and i broke up was really stupid and had nothing to do with our compatibility, so i want her back.she texts me every day and sometimes wants to talk on the phone.from the things she has said i cant get a good reading on wether she wants to get back together or not.im out of town for a month but i THINK she may want to do just that when i get home....i cant be sure though.my problem is i dont want her to start viewing me as a friend so im not sure how to respond when she contacts me talking about her problems.i dont wanna be too cold and distant and make her think im shooting her down but at the same time i dont want her thinking ill be her emotional support as a friend either.please help me out with this guys....any advice?

You guys lived together, slept together, you are not acquaintances. You can talk to her just fine, and provide her emotional support if she needs it. When you come back to town you can meet and fvck her.

How stupid was the reason you two broke up? Maybe it's best to find another girl?

 

[RangerMIke]

I'm not a guy so I might get this wrong, but how about, when she texts you about her problems, you respond by saying "why dont you come over here and we can cuddle, and you can tell me all about it, and I will make you feel better with my pen1s?" Okay, leave the 'with my penis' part out, but wont that get you a good read on how she is feeling?

I wouldn't put it that way, but yea... that is pretty much what you should do. If she contacts you try to make a date, if she won't go out, then just tell her you are busy and get off the phone. You can not build interest with a women through texting or talking on the fvcking phone. If want another shot at your ex.... you have to sell in person.

 

[Bobby bouch'e]

Alright well **** man, are you an older guy? Younger? Im 24 and had to break it off with my ex exactly a year ago, we have a 2 year old son together, i was totaly oblivious to the repercusions of dumping babys mom while i still loved her. (She lost respect for me, dumped her.out of ego)Sent me into the wildest oneitus heartbreak for a year straight) every nasty dirty trick females can play on a mans pysch i was forced.to endure. It was impossible. Of course thats just my experience. I dont know where youre at in terms of your dating/dj life, im still a newbie..

if this is a oneitus love BE SOO FUXKING GODDANM.CAREFUL IF YOU DKNT KNOW.WHAT YOUR GETTING.INTO YOUR FUUCCKKEEDD

- child support
- woman have all.the.rights
- 1000s of dirt bag men that are eager to take
Your.place for that single mom snatch.
She will.literally drop off youre kid unannounced while she runs to her new.boyfriends.house to.get ****ed for.days straight
- risk never seeing your son again if she flips out and another man brings drugs and abuse.into.theyre lives, completely outside of your control(unless your a criminal)
- you will have to.see her everyday other day for 18 years(no contact is impossible.. if youre determined to.raise your child properly)

Or if you simply dont love her or your kid.. fck it bail out and move away hahah, and youre an actual emotionaly healthy ****ing human being like im not.. then dont worry about.it.

If you dont love her and are abundant with woman youre golden..

If you still do love her and she wont take you back get ready for wild ride, im here with you brotha.. stick together!

Im 21 my dude.and wow thats a pretty ****ed up story...gives me chills actually haha.im going to handle this with care.i love my daughter with all my heart and ashamedly i love her too.thats why i want it to work so bad.but honestly ive been through enough to know that if it doesnt ill be fine.she isnt the spiteful type but im prepared for the possibilities you listed.shes been acting strange as in contacting me for nothing or coming up with excuses like " i want your advice on something" so i think it can be salvaged but its going to take alot of work.thanks for talking with me bro, makes me feel better knowing im not the only one.ill be posting an update soon!

 

[Bobby bouch'e]

I wouldn't put it that way, but yea... that is pretty much what you should do. If she contacts you try to make a date, if she won't go out, then just tell her you are busy and get off the phone. You can not build interest with a women through texting or talking on the fvcking phone. If want another shot at your ex.... you have to sell in person.

Thanks for the reply.as i said i wont see her physically fir another month so i need to figure out what to do in the meantime...maybe just be her friend? Or tell her well talk when i get back and go nc?

 

[Bobby bouch'e]

Good question, and I'm not 100% sure of the answer here. However, there are different ways to making her "feel good". There's making her feel good by telling her what she wants to hear, or by buying her things, or by being her "yes-man". However, what you would be doing would be illiciting deeper emotions, you're not just making her "feel good", you're making her miss you.

You make alot of sense and i really appreciate it.i think this may require a little push/ pull my man....

 

[WitnessGR]

She's an ex.

You don't go into the dumpster to search for food. You go to the grocery store and buy new food.

I have never seen this point explained better than this.

 

[RangerMIke]

Thanks for the reply.as i said i wont see her physically fir another month so i need to figure out what to do in the meantime...maybe just be her friend? Or tell her well talk when i get back and go nc?

There is really nothing you can do. Just go date other women and when you can see this one again, try to make something happen.

Don't believe all the silly nonsense about 'text game', there really is no such thing. Truth is that there is nothing you can text that will REALLY help you, but there is a TON of sh!t if you send it WILL hurt your chances. You can not fvck up if you do nothing with a women who is interested in you, unless you do not try to make a face to face date. Just tell her you want to see her when she is available and leave it at that.