mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
She doesn't do anal, but she does it for you. That would be much more of a sacrifice than swallowing.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Messed up Royally
- Thread starter bigneil
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
What our guy was saying, bigneil was that swallowing is not an achievement among a millinial woman. Maybe in our generation. But he's saying the millinials swallow for anyone so they don't have to worry what to do with the ejaculate.
I'm pretty sure she wasn't worried about what to do with the ejaculate in my bed.
Anyhow, I think blow jobs are overrated so it's sort of a moot point.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
So ALL do anal?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
After hearing on Saturday that she needed to go to the hospital Monday, I just learned that my mother survived major surgery today (Tuesday). She had to have a complete hysterectomy. There was a large tumor but it was not cancerous. It's a strange and sad feeling as that was the womb from where I came from. It's another sign of our mortality. This was the reason I was so distraught to begin with which caused me to mess up my relationship Saturday.
I realized that when we are dealing with a crisis and/or are exhausted, we become more cranky and emotional and we should avoid talking to our significant others during those times (and also, while we should be supportive, we should avoid them when they are dealing with such issues).
Also, if you can, please give your mom a hug or a call.
I realized that when we are dealing with a crisis and/or are exhausted, we become more cranky and emotional and we should avoid talking to our significant others during those times (and also, while we should be supportive, we should avoid them when they are dealing with such issues).
Also, if you can, please give your mom a hug or a call.
Update: So I waited a week and told her I wasn't myself the last time we communicated. She responded and told me "I want to get back together. I like you a lot, but you were too emotional, and to be honest it was impeding things, but I want this to work". I explained what had happened regarding my family, and that I am not normally emotional. She apologized and we agreed to get together again. Still, it's sad that women these days despise even a justified glimpse of male emotion. Forgive me if I care that my mom almost died.
sazc
Master Don Juan
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If ur emotional (ur toats emotional, don't try lying to yourself) you and she she are going to have to learn to deal with that, and integrate it into the relationship. The good news is that she said she's willing to do work with you in the relatio ship.
Cheers!
Is it just a coincidence this is happening after we made mad, passionate love? I think we are both pushing each other away because we fear the connection we happened upon.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
the trick is that if you fear you'll say something dumb when you're upset, simply avoid people until you calm yourself down
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
sazc
Master Don Juan
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Very likely, fear of being vulnerable and exposed with someone will do that to people. The interesting thing is that most people don't realize that fear is what is motivating them to push the other person away. Be mindful of your behavior towards her. Before you act contemplate, I don't think you should be hardnose, but I think you should be compassionate embracing and maintaining DJ frame
One moment of weakness was all it took.
In the same sentence where she confessed she likes me a lot, she described herself as unemotional. I'm not sure if that means emotionally unavailable. I think she meant her personality type. She is like Mr. Spock (Logical/Illogical, reacting with denial and dismissal). But I'm more Captain Kirk. He is much more animated and does get emotional (Right/Wrong reacting anger).
She was never cold. She is always naturally warm and sweet. And to be honest, I've seen her be emotional many times. I think she was just underscoring what we all know, that men are never allowed to be emotional in 2017. It's like they want us to be sociopaths.
I just tested ENTJ but I don't think these tests mean that much. I was referring to the 4 personality types of Driver, Analyst, Feeler and Elitist ("How Can I Get Through To You D. Glenn Foster 1994".
ENTJ
Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
"I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?"
ENTJs have a natural tendency to marshall and direct. This may be expressed with the charm and finesse of a world leader or with the insensitivity of a cult leader. The ENTJ requires little encouragement to make a plan. One ENTJ put it this way... "I make these little plans that really don't have any importance to anyone else, and then feel compelled to carry them out." While "compelled" may not describe ENTJs as a group, nevertheless the bent to plan creatively and to make those plans reality is a common theme for NJ types.
ENTJs are often "larger than life" in describing their projects or proposals. This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy. In combination with the natural propensity for filibuster, our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline.
TRADEMARK: -- "I'm really sorry you have to die." (I realize this is an overstatement. However, most Fs and other gentle souls usually chuckle knowingly at this description.)
ENTJs are decisive. They see what needs to be done, and frequently assign roles to their fellows. Few other types can equal their ability to remain resolute in conflict, sending the valiant (and often leading the charge) into the mouth of hell. When challenged, the ENTJ may by reflex become argumentative. Alternatively (s)he may unleash an icy gaze that serves notice: the ENTJ is not one to be trifled with.
(ENTJ stands for Extravert, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging and represents individual's preferences in four dimensions characterising personality type, according to Jung's and Briggs Myers' theories of personality type.)
ENTJ
Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
"I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?"
ENTJs have a natural tendency to marshall and direct. This may be expressed with the charm and finesse of a world leader or with the insensitivity of a cult leader. The ENTJ requires little encouragement to make a plan. One ENTJ put it this way... "I make these little plans that really don't have any importance to anyone else, and then feel compelled to carry them out." While "compelled" may not describe ENTJs as a group, nevertheless the bent to plan creatively and to make those plans reality is a common theme for NJ types.
ENTJs are often "larger than life" in describing their projects or proposals. This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy. In combination with the natural propensity for filibuster, our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline.
TRADEMARK: -- "I'm really sorry you have to die." (I realize this is an overstatement. However, most Fs and other gentle souls usually chuckle knowingly at this description.)
ENTJs are decisive. They see what needs to be done, and frequently assign roles to their fellows. Few other types can equal their ability to remain resolute in conflict, sending the valiant (and often leading the charge) into the mouth of hell. When challenged, the ENTJ may by reflex become argumentative. Alternatively (s)he may unleash an icy gaze that serves notice: the ENTJ is not one to be trifled with.
(ENTJ stands for Extravert, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging and represents individual's preferences in four dimensions characterising personality type, according to Jung's and Briggs Myers' theories of personality type.)
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
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I've done the Meyers Briggs personality test with many people I know very well. It has been extremely accurate.
I always do this with do new girls. Helps me understand their behavior better and know how to deal with them effectively so I get the most out of our relationship.
I always do this with do new girls. Helps me understand their behavior better and know how to deal with them effectively so I get the most out of our relationship.
"ENTJs are often "larger than life" in describing their projects or proposals. This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy....our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline."
Sounds like a stripper alright. I never knew we had so much in common.
Sounds like a stripper alright. I never knew we had so much in common.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
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- 6,541
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I was going to say this before you highlighted these things(larger than life, salesmanship, story telling), but I definitely see that with you on this forum.
It took 21 days (three one week breaks with a couple texts in between) but she is back to being a sweetheart and our date is now tomorrow. She was smart enough to realize I wasn't being myself and she asked me about it and I gave her credit for how well she knows me and she was thrilled by that.
I think the first breakup in a relationship is important for several reasons.
1) Both of you learn how the other will act when it's over. Will they say really mean things to burn the bridge, things they hated about you all along? Will you destroy her attraction forever by being weak? Can you actually increase her attraction by being strong?
2) She can realize you won't stalk her (don't btw).
3) You realize what you meant to each other when you lose them.
4) Makeup sex after absence increases the bond.
However, the second breakup hurts the relationship and subsequent breakup doom it. It's like bending a wire too many times. At first you can shape it to get around an obstacle. But then you weaken it. We must learn from the mistakes of the first breakup.
Be willing to walk, but never threaten to end the relationship.
In this case she was upset about something and I tried to force her to ignore it and that led to the breakup, which only buried the problem. As soon as I apologized and she accepted the first problem still had to be addressed, and that one took time.
I think the first breakup in a relationship is important for several reasons.
1) Both of you learn how the other will act when it's over. Will they say really mean things to burn the bridge, things they hated about you all along? Will you destroy her attraction forever by being weak? Can you actually increase her attraction by being strong?
2) She can realize you won't stalk her (don't btw).
3) You realize what you meant to each other when you lose them.
4) Makeup sex after absence increases the bond.
However, the second breakup hurts the relationship and subsequent breakup doom it. It's like bending a wire too many times. At first you can shape it to get around an obstacle. But then you weaken it. We must learn from the mistakes of the first breakup.
Be willing to walk, but never threaten to end the relationship.
In this case she was upset about something and I tried to force her to ignore it and that led to the breakup, which only buried the problem. As soon as I apologized and she accepted the first problem still had to be addressed, and that one took time.
Sure. I'll cancel my date with an HB9.9 who is 25 years my junior immediately after 4 months of great (uncommitted) sex (and one breakup that I instigated and regretted), and with her more excited to get together than ever (and another photo shoot planned for tomorrow). Thanks for the great advice.
What part about my generic advice regarding breakups do you disagree with, except the part about my having a much hotter girl than you?
How is she damaged more than average? Can any qualities offset damage (such as her being a supermodel, having a perfect body, and being an artist, singer, dancer and writer)?
Do you know any HB9.9 21 year olds who are not promiscuous (she's actually only had 2 long term relationships in her life before me).
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.