"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Should we feel sorry for this young woman who keeps getting burned by the c0ck carousel?

MatureDJ

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She starts talking about all these men that have pumped & dumped her @ ~ 11:25.

 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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mrgoodstuff

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Shouldn't she figured out now the red flags behind these kinda guys and started targeting a different type of man?
 

mrgoodstuff

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Attraction isn't a choice.

And feeling sorry for her isn't going to change anything.
You can still learn that what you tend to be attracted to is crap. Some of the babes I used to be "attracted" to that caused a lot of trouble in my life, I can see the "trouble" in their character and movements. So I know better. Many I wouldn't even want to bang anymore.

And no I don't feel "sorry" for her, just don't see why she hasn't learned her lesson by now.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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I got 30 seconds in and heard enough....

'I try to lean on people, for their support....'. There is the very essence of your problem sweetheart. She's a female orbiter; a blue pill woman; she believe in the fairy tale.

She's going in to relationships for the wrong reasons: because she's emotionally, psychologically and philosophically empty.

She therefore brings nothing to the table apart from sex; and for herself, is just there to sponge life from the other person.

It's not them, it's her.

Look at her, sitting in her nearly new car, filming away on her brand new iPhone, vlogging, sobbing away like life's handed her a dogsh!t sandwich. It's pathetic, this current navel-gazing incapacity of so many humans right now.

I feel sympathy for people like this, not because she gets burned, but because their conditioning is still so strong, they have no concept of the self; every point of reference they attend to is external to themselves. No wonder she feels the need to 'lean' on people all the time. Her needy behaviour probably scares the living daylights out of men she meets. I know it does me. Absolutely no self-esteem whatsoever.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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TheMonkeyKing

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What would you rate this girl?
Physically... 5. Maybe a 6 if she wasn't such a mess. Her diet and exercise regimen are clearly poor, skinny, and pallid as her skin is. No wonder her life is such a wreck. Personality, zero.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Physically... 5. Maybe a 6 if she wasn't such a mess. Her diet and exercise regimen are clearly poor, skinny, and pallid as her skin is. No wonder her life is such a wreck. Personality, zero.
She's getting passed around, lied to, pumped and dumped. Just played for a straight fool, and she keeps going back to it.
 

CMNILS87

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She's the female Ted Mosby. Or me like 2 years ago.

She must be an easy mark for dark triad types/players. Something about her must just scream "low self esteem" and will latch onto anybody that gives a decent compliment and from there easy manipulation to sex and boom.
 

mrgoodstuff

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She's the female Ted Mosby. Or me like 2 years ago.

She must be an easy mark for dark triad types/players. Something about her must just scream "low self esteem" and will latch onto anybody that gives a decent compliment and from there easy manipulation to sex and boom.
But a less built less alpha less worldly man won't have her acting as stupid.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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dude99

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If you count the amount of times shes says "me," or "i," in the first 3 minutes alone you can see she is way too codependent and self centered. A bad combination.

She is a typical intetnet attention *****. She has dozens of pictures of her self in her underwear and provocativly posing and then she wonders why guys treat her as such.

You can clearly tell by the way she talks about a few guys in her life she is unhappy being one of their plates.
 
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wifehunter

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No, she decided to open her legs for losers. Those are the consequences.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Jiminy Christmas, if that girl was crying during the video, head on over to YT and check out some of the comments...
 

Desdinova

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Physically... 5. Maybe a 6 if she wasn't such a mess.
She's a 9 if she's crying because my c0ck is slamming against the end of her vagina :D

When women can't make sense of how they function, they always say they need therapy. If they would just stick with the one dude who makes the greatest emotional imprint on them, they wouldn't have to get all this fvcking therapy. Therapy doesn't fix a high mileage woman just like a mechanic cannot fix a high mileage vehicle.

For women, one-itis is a terminal disease. She still isn't over that guy who does "5hitty things".

I can't help but wonder how many orbiters she keeps in her life. Probably a lot. That's the signal that it's okay for the man to fvck around with other women. Then she makes crying videos on youtube because it's the guy who "can't commit".
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sazc

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OMG WHYYYYYY would you post a crying video on you tube? "Hey there world, imma victim! feel sorry for me, wouldja?" She needs a therapist, and to find her strength. She hasnt posted a video in 2 weeks?! I havent posted one ever, im late!

Shouldn't she figured out now the red flags behind these kinda guys and started targeting a different type of man?
Yes. Apparently she doesn't have insight about herself enough to know that.

Attraction isn't a choice.

And feeling sorry for her isn't going to change anything.
getting pumped and dumped over and over again isnt about attraction/what you are attracted to, it's about using men to validate herself, and fill a void and boost self esteem. I'll never understand a woman who thinks that just because a man chooses to put his penis inside of her, she is now validated.

I have no sympathy for women who continue to spread their legs like velcro, hoping that this one will stick. Women who are too easy attract low quality men and end up exactly where she is, pumped and dumped and/or dating men who dont have any intentions.
 

sazc

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Women who are frigid , and play games making men "wait" are filtering for an easily controlled, sex-starved man with no options. Whether they know it or not.

This whole "quality" theory is dogsh*t. Same with therapy.
This is the second time you captured my post and inserted words that I never said, trying to reframe my meaning. You need to stop trying to manipulate my words and twist my meanings.

First of all, no one mentioned any thing about being frigid or using sex to control anyone. The absolute truth is that, if you allow just any dude to stick it in you as a way to seek validation, you are going to end up with mostly low quality men - that's just about numbers, odds, etc.

Secondly, i find it interesting that the 'quality' theory is dog**** when it comes to a woman seeking a man but the 'quality' theory regarding men seeking women, as MANY of you have defined it in multiple posts here, is not dog****? That seems like quite a double standard to me.

Assuming that the SS community is the exception, even tho you guys call out one another regularly, I'm sure that even men can acquiesce that there ARE men who are to be considered 'low quality'. Everyone is not a gem. In case you (anyone) felt personally insulted, my comment was in no way directed towards anyone here.

The therapy issue is subjective and personal. I believe she would do FAR better unloading to a qualified professional, than attention seeking on you tube.
 
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Dingo

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Actually that was pretty interesting...
 

hockeyfreak79

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She's just trying to get more viewers and subscribers for her channel. Woman her age will relate to this and blah blah, she's just trying to get a larger audience as a vlogger. Yeah she's a talk slut. I wonder how much $$ she pulls in.

 

sazc

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You indicated that women who are "too easy" attract "low quality men".

Anyone with any sense knows what you mean by that.
Again, you insist on inserting your own words and assumptions into my statements, in order to make YOUR personal points. I am not so incredibly simple, or shallow, that I would ever call any woman a slut, or 'too easy'.

You seem to be a bit butthurt about what I said, and that has you in somewhat of an attack and defend yourself mode. Not sure why you are taking my statements so personally..... Hmmmmm
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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