Best ****y and Funny Lines

[bilboteabaggins]

girl gives me her number and I say "I might use it sometime" and then wink

gets a good reaction every time haha

 

[escaleraroyal]

Are you a prostitute?

 

[Chickfight]

(after making out)

"I thought we were friends"

"We are.. but just really friendly friends"

(proceed to make out)

***

I use this line a lot, I got it from some romcom movie, but I always liked it and have my own version of it.

"hey, so you want to come back to my place and hangout"

"um, what are we going to do there?"

"I dunno, watch some tv... have some sex"

 

[PapiChulo]

For me in terms of mindset I think it has to do with comfort level. Human beings are often cautious amongst people they don't know that well, they don't know how they're going to react to certain jokes, where their limits are, etc, so we unconsciously hold off on being funny in order to dissect the other person's security barometers.

I dont hold off and get in trouble on a regular basis.

 

[PapiChulo]

Are you a prostitute?

This one is the winner.

 

[Mike32ct]

I use this when a girl negs me, teases me or is mean to me:

"OMG, you are sooo sleeping on the couch tonight."

One HB8 flirted back and said, "Well, it depends if I end up back at your place "

 

[OC Speedball]

I've noticed that when I'm with my friends and their gf's, or girls that I am friends with but am not attracted to, I can make them laugh up a riot. Sometimes they turn red and often times they say, "You are HILARIOUS today!"

Anyone else have this problem? Cause when there's actually a girl I'm interested in I'm not as funny. I think it's just nerves that are freezing me up.

And yeah, this is always spontaneous. It might be good to memorize some lines, but sometimes it just comes out sooo naturally. I agree with what that guy said earlier. You basically have to get into that mood/mindset.

 

[loveshogun]

I've noticed that when I'm with my friends and their gf's, or girls that I am friends with but am not attracted to, I can make them laugh up a riot. Sometimes they turn red and often times they say, "You are HILARIOUS today!"

Anyone else have this problem? Cause when there's actually a girl I'm interested in I'm not as funny. I think it's just nerves that are freezing me up.

And yeah, this is always spontaneous. It might be good to memorize some lines, but sometimes it just comes out sooo naturally. I agree with what that guy said earlier. You basically have to get into that mood/mindset.

You're more comfortable and confident around your friends. Around strangers, you let go of this energy to avoid getting negative attention, and therefore, any attention at all.

Regarding the subject of this thread, I'm bringing back an old high school classic:

"Nice rack."

Good, bad, or sideways, you'll get a reaction... hahaha.

 

[Brainbuster]

Keep Your Fantasies to Yourself

Instead of "That's what she said," which is old and not funny anymore. This one came from Ross Jeffries (though he was talking to Yates, not a girl).

Keep your fantasies to yourself.

 

[AlphaNate]

abc has caused this to be one of my favorite threads on the internet.

Well done. Saved.

 

[Reminder]

If a girl you haven't had sex with yet ever b*tches at you for any reason, say "Gee, can we still NOT have sex?"

If she says she has a boyfriend say "We just met and you're already telling me about your problems?"

Haha that's a good one. But I'm not sure if she would like to hear that

 

[Shift]

Don't use canned lines. Simple. Use your wit and make an observational joke/comment based on the situation.

 

[Mike32ct]

Don't use canned lines. Simple. Use your wit and make an observational joke/comment based on the situation.

I agree, but we have consider the timing of the thread. It was started in 2008 when canned game and c&f were still popular (though canned game was starting to decline).

I certainly agree that a random situational comment will be more genuine and work better. The randomness can make it very natural and smooth.

When you try to "recycle" or "reuse" a line, it's more tricky because your delivery may not be as good as the first time. For example, I would love to reuse my "You're soo sleeping on the couch tonight" line (from earlier in the thread), but it will probably come off a little choppy and not as smooth and funny as when I used to use it.

Notwithstanding all that, a canned line or two in your head as a backup plan in case you "draw a blank" is very helpful.
Even a not so smooth canned line can work better than freezing up and not saying anything.

 

[Shift]

I agree, but we have consider the timing of the thread. It was started in 2008 when canned game and c&f were still popular (though canned game was starting to decline).

I certainly agree that a random situational comment will be more genuine and work better. The randomness can make it very natural and smooth.

When you try to "recycle" or "reuse" a line, it's more tricky because your delivery may not be as good as the first time. For example, I would love to reuse my "You're soo sleeping on the couch tonight" line (from earlier in the thread), but it will probably come off a little choppy and not as smooth and funny as when I used to use it.

Notwithstanding all that, a canned line or two in your head as a backup plan in case you "draw a blank" is very helpful.
Even a not so smooth canned line can work better than freezing up and not saying anything.

Oh didn't even see the timestaps.

But you make a good point, it's not a bad idea to have a few simple ones for when you draw a blank

 

[Mike32ct]

Oh didn't even see the timestaps.

But you make a good point, it's not a bad idea to have a few simple ones for when you draw a blank

Defintely. I was in Vegas in September. I wanted to approach these two ladies at a casino bar, but I initially froze up. So I pulled a line out of the "archives" in my head and asked them "if they were on vacation because I didn't see any conference tags."

I got a half giggle and the conversation started. Then the one on the left asked me to "Grab a seat," which was a good sign.

I then went unscripted and said off the top of my head, "Thank you. I didn't want to be one of those creepy guys who just randomly sits down at your table uninvited lol."

I then continued with a normal conversation, but the initial canned line "primed the pump" and made opening easier.