Sex ruins my game

[Arnzy]

I've realised what ruins my entire game.

I got my first girlfriend, when I was 15. She was 2 years older than me. I'm very dominat type or leader. She was very submissive, so she did everything I ever dreamed of. We had sex every other day or whenever I wanted. We were together almost 2 years and then broke up. And I know this relationship ruined me.

Currently, I'm 18 years old and I know every problem with any girl/women is result of that. If I see a sign that things would lead to sex, I become extremely needy and beta.
As I said, I'm naturally very dominat type, very muscular, with high self-esteem and I think my game is quite strong. I attract girls easily, even older than me. But when I think of sex, I lose my mind, I just forget everything, my game or all these things I've learned about women. All gone.

For example, I was devastated and whole day was ruined when my ex-fwb was sometimes too busy to meet and I had no other plans with other girls too.

I realised all that when I was texting with my friend. I suggested her to come over my place for fun. Actually I'm not very interested in her. She was quite interested, but wasn't sure. I lost my mind. I had imagination in my head, what we could do and that moment I became so needy. I just can't recognise myself during these moments. I was biggest beta ever or like someone who's still virgin and first time sees a p*ssy.
And this happens all the time. Sometimes when I don't have any date or anyone to f*ck, really bad depression hits me. I just can't enjoy life then. Or when I text with girls. One girl's grandmother had a heart-attack and it was so devastating for me because she was busy and I couldn't f*ck her.

How to care less about sex or how could I control myself during these moments? It ruins everything.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

You most likely crave companionship. To this combat this I recommend you investigate what it's called inner game. I recommend Carlos Xuma's Secrets of the Alpha Male. David DeAngelo is apparently a pro at this too, I don't really know, but so have I heard.
If you want to really go deep into this you have three options.
1. The path of surrender: Read some books on theravada buddhism or taoism, then start actively living through a buddhist/taoist lens. Stop fighting, learn to live without suffering any pain because...you stop desiring anything! Boom, problem solved.
2. The path of the warrior: Read Jack Donovan, Cernovich, manosphere leaders blogs, and watch Jason Capital's stuff. Fight until the very end, develop yourself to create self-confidence and gain true abundance of wealth, health, and pvssy. Boom, problem solved until you lose everything either by fvcking things up, a younger alpha male when you are old, or because you die.
3. The path of acceptance: Read all of the above, add some Nietzsche. Fight until the very end, develop yourself to create self-confidence and gain true abundance of wealth, health, and pvssy. At the same time, contemplate often the vacuity of everything, accept life as it is; enjoy the happiness, enjoy the sadness. ACCEPT everything, while FIGHTING to change everything you want to.

Good luck with either of the three paths.

 

[devilkingx2]

One girl's grandmother had a heart-attack and it was so devastating for me because she was busy and I couldn't f*ck her

sounds like normal just being a guy stuff to me

 

[wifehunter]

yes, the hormones are a distraction... save the good stuff for later.

 

[Slash Dolo]

"Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating." - True Detective

Anytime you're in desperation mode, remember that line.

There's nothing wrong with feeling this way. It happens to the best of us. The key is not showing it. I recommend the next time you're in beta horndog mode to beat your meat and start reading articles on the main site. Stay focused on your prey from a distance. A hungry hunter doesn't chase down a deer with a chainsaw like a lunatic; he waits. Patiently. You need discipline and to come back later when your mind is clear.

 

[Serenity]

You say your game is strong and all that, yet it evidently isn't. You're deluding yourself I'd say.

When it really comes down to the moment you can't really fool yourself. It's like people who think they can fight like a champion, but when the situation arises they're paralyzed.

You need your game when it actually matters. It's useless to feel like a boss 99% of the time if you don't at the 1% of the time it really matters.

There's no trick here other than not acting any different when it matters. I can't tell you how to care less about sex or control yourself better. It's your body and mind which is governed by you, only you can control it and only you can decide to care less.

If a fat person asked you how to eat less, what would you suggest? That is basically the same question in a different context. The answer is to just fvcking do it, there is no other way.

 

[Arnzy]

You most likely crave companionship. To this combat this I recommend you investigate what it's called inner game. I recommend Carlos Xuma's Secrets of the Alpha Male. David DeAngelo is apparently a pro at this too, I don't really know, but so have I heard.
If you want to really go deep into this you have three options.
1. The path of surrender: Read some books on theravada buddhism or taoism, then start actively living through a buddhist/taoist lens. Stop fighting, learn to live without suffering any pain because...you stop desiring anything! Boom, problem solved.
2. The path of the warrior: Read Jack Donovan, Cernovich, manosphere leaders blogs, and watch Jason Capital's stuff. Fight until the very end, develop yourself to create self-confidence and gain true abundance of wealth, health, and pvssy. Boom, problem solved until you lose everything either by fvcking things up, a younger alpha male when you are old, or because you die.
3. The path of acceptance: Read all of the above, add some Nietzsche. Fight until the very end, develop yourself to create self-confidence and gain true abundance of wealth, health, and pvssy. At the same time, contemplate often the vacuity of everything, accept life as it is; enjoy the happiness, enjoy the sadness. ACCEPT everything, while FIGHTING to change everything you want to.

Good luck with either of the three paths.

This got me thinking, that it may be the problem. I am happy and sun shines in the sky when I have people around me, when I'm at party with friends or when things are going well with women, when I have dates and so on. But whenever I have to be alone or things are not so well with other people, especially with women, I start acting more beta or crave for companionship.
I definitely read theses blogs and books. How do you guys personally deal with this kind of thing?

Also, I find it really hard to enjoy being just alone, like watching a movie alone. This isn't about being alpha or beta, but just enjoying life when no one is around me. Sometimes it seems that only sex can make me happy, all other aspects of life are nothing for me. I need to get rid of this mindset.

Second problem is self control. It's true that whole my game is pointless, when I can't control myself during these criticaI moments. What are options to overcome this problem? I've ruined really good chances because I just can't control myself.

 

[Serenity]

Second problem is self control. It's true that whole my game is pointless, when I can't control myself during these criticaI moments. What are options to overcome this problem? I've ruined really good chances because I just can't control myself.

1. Believe you can control yourself
2. Control yourself
3. ????
4. Profit!

 

[jebach123]

What I did. Took some time for myself. I spent two years without even kissing a girl. Focus on yourself. GO ON NOFAP. And then come back.

 

[Slash Dolo]

Arnzy, I would highly recommend Monk Mode. It is a personal challenge that I think should be partaken every time you have a problem you need to address.

https://illimitablemen.com/2014/04/13/monk-mode/