Dating girls who still date after having sex.

[Ctlguy]

What is everyone's thoughts on being intimate, having sex, and still dating?

I'm a little imapartial especially in the beginning however. However I met this girl, both 40. We only spent a little over a week together and went out 4 times while having sex from the 2nd date on.

We are both into each other and she stated I am the first and only guy she has slept with in 7 months since she broke up with her ex. While she has been dating most of that, she hasn't found anytime she connected with until she met me and something about me that made her feel safe.

Well she admitted that is still dating a little which I totally get. We've been out 4 times.

This is just me, but I put dating on hold so I can get to know someone without focusing on multiple girls at a time. I don't have time for it anyway. I know it totally irrational to expect the same but for me it kinda diminishes it a little bit to me. I totally get not having sex with others but being interested in dating, maybe a kiss or something just throws me off and I mentally just check out. It's like someone is into you BUT I'm going to see if the grass is greener.

I told her that and had to leave town and she admitted this is going to give her time to think.

 

[Ctlguy]

Seems pretty spot on. I'm in the prime position IF she is actually not fckig others. I don't think she is, but dating a little (which can be filling those other needs)

I'm going to take your advice but here is a question.

I've already told her dating multiple girls after having sex is not my thing. She is still on Match and bumble and I deleted mine (which she noticed).

How do I go back (and take your advice) since she will see I opened dating back up after telling her it's not my thing.

Any risk there?

 

[Ctlguy]

Most I don't. Right I'm not giving many..... and going to date and who cares.

I'm thinking along the lines of flipping the script and tell her I am, letting her find out when she sees the profile.

I actually want that to happen and the conversation happens, so I can say since you I figured why not since this is very new.

I just ask to see what best way to and approach to flip the script and not turn her off. That's the only fcks I'm giving right now

 

[Ctlguy]

Basically I told I'm not and she sees I am and do not want to fall in the category as a liar. She hates them!!!!

 

[Ctlguy]

Why do you say that LAraider?

You don't think you play right back into her?

At the end of the day she is inexperienced in dating and says it all new to her.

You saying she is a game player?

 

[Ctlguy]

She's a massive game player. She lied her a** off to you about sex, she is f*cking other guys. Additionally, telling you all this shows low IL. Deep down you know what I'm telling you is right.

Dude..... you can figure **** out based on minimal info on a msg board. Good for you!

 

[Ctlguy]

I'll tell you this much, I think that I am very good at this game. Probably better than 90% here.

I will tell you that all women are better at this than I am. You will only understand this when you are at a certain level...

You only really win by being a man. Adapt.

Women are better at social conventions. Accept it, and learn. You are a man. First off, accept your considerable strengths, but your weaknesses are the real room for improvement.

That's the ****ing truth. Unless you get the needy insecure one the wants to be up your ass all the time ha

 

[Trunks]

Men can fvck around far more than a woman can. Use it to your advantage, both mentally and practically.

A woman's typical game is that she has a prime that she fvcks, then she has a bunch of orbiters to satisfy her security and validation of her worth.

Don't give a single sh*t about her security. Just be the prime.

While it's true that the dynamic you propose is kind of common, I'd say there are other types of sexual relationships that are fairly common too. When I was younger, some women would clearly use me for their weekly romp while hoping some other guy that they really liked and wasn't official with them would choose them. Since I was only looking for sex myself and it involved low effort, I didn't mind, but the women generally fed me bullsh-t about why they were on the fence. I pretended to believe them (ha!) to keep getting sex, while they thought I was being chumped... Anyway, having talked to friends' girlfriends about this, I get the impression that it's more common than one would imagine.

 

[Trunks]

Doesn't change a fvcking thing that I have said.

You think that women before haven't ghosted me when they see a marriage prospect? You don't think that I've enjoyed a woman fvcking around?

Yet, you don't see me crying on here. I get it. I'll vent briefly, and use it as an example, but it's just how it is.

Alpha fvcks; beta bucks. So much learning in those four words.

My point is that to these women, I clearly was not an alpha. I was simply a guy that they didn't mind fvcking until who they really wanted came around. Seems closer to a beta according to the standard definition, except I was not a provider in any way.

 

[Trunks]

What's your point again?

That the OP may be in sort of a similar situation.

 

[Ctlguy]

So you said something that I thought of.

Women ghosted you because they see a marriage prospect?

What's the psychology behind that?

 

[Ctlguy]

Learning the basic differences between a man's game, and a woman's game would help him here, yes?

As I have alluded to.



Security gets prioritized at a certain age.

Yea, I have not problem getting laid at all. Never has been, but sometimes even it gets exhausting and when the right one seems to come along I seem to be unsure how to go with it. Kinda if I played them the way I do with girls I fck then it comes across as a players.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

You fvcked her on the 2nd date then she wants to make sure you know it's been 7mo since she had sex. Suuuure. See see CTL I'm not a slut.

She's leaving her options OPEN by staying on OLD, so should you! Don't put all your eggs in 1 basket man.

She hates liars because guess what, she is one. Ride the wave bro but next time go 10yrs younger.

 

[Ctlguy]

You fvcked her on the 2nd date then she wants to make sure you know it's been 7mo since she had sex. Suuuure. See see CTL I'm not a slut.

She's leaving her options OPEN by staying on OLD, so should you! Don't put all your eggs in 1 basket man.

She hates liars because guess what, she is one. Ride the wave bro but next time go 10yrs younger.

You know man..... I have heard the same ole song and dance from all the girls relating to sex. I can read through them like a book and the ones that are good I can still instinctively know. She is conservative, and hasn't dated much her whole life.

This one I believe and yes, the sex on a second date made me question.

Without sounding arrogant, I blew her mind on the second date. Introduced her to stuff that was way outside her zone, made her laugh her ass off all night, and we both got drunk. Honestly at that stage I didn't give a **** and wanted to get laid. I blew her ****ing her too. She kept asking how in the hell are you doing that and had the "holy ****" look on her face.

Has anyone ever got a girl to drop her panties on the second date after going a long time without sex? Sure!

When it went south is when I had to leave town for 3 weeks out of the blue, and cancel the all day Saturday date. She was stoked and it was a good date planned.

Now I basically left it as let's see where we are when I get back.

I'm going to let it play out but and see what happens when I get back.

 

[BeTheChange]

My point is that to these women, I clearly was not an alpha. I was simply a guy that they didn't mind fvcking until who they really wanted came around. Seems closer to a beta according to the standard definition, except I was not a provider in any way.

If you are fvcking a woman with minimal effort and no emotional investment and she leaves you for another guy that is NOT beta.

In fact, if you have no intention of commitment and she senses this for long enough she is far more likely to leave you for someone more controllable. This is basic stuff boys.

 

[Ctlguy]

Ok, so the text have gone cold a tad but I think I have already showed her the there is no challenge.

For years I have been the funny smartass who was emotionally unavaible, so I rarely have givin much chase.

So at this point I am taking expectations off the table and want to use this as practice if you will.

This is where it ended as of yesterday morning.

I told her I may be coming home early but also may stop to see family on the ride home.

HER response was "nice! I have commitments all the through the weekend if that helps you decide"

Me-I wasn't talking about that silly.I would like to see you soon though. I just have more time to see my family now. They have crazy horses that I want to conquer riding too.

Then I ask when she went to Mexico and San Fran. Basically when I get back in the first we will have 8 days before she is gone for 2 weeks with hardly any contact.

I know I got myself in the situation and the text are getting colder. I'm breaking contact and just let her reach out to me. I want to basically practice, be the alpha, date, and try to make her chase me.

Initiate contact ONLY to say I'm driving back? That's 12 days from now. Between then just nothing.

My thought is I just want to experiment now and if works focus on staying the prime.





If is not in that mindset and then delete- next!!!

If you are fvcking a woman with minimal effort and no emotional investment and she leaves you for another guy that is NOT beta.

In fact, if you have no intention of commitment and she senses this for long enough she is far more likely to leave you for someone more controllable. This is basic stuff boys.

 

[devilkingx2]

So you said something that I thought of.

Women ghosted you because they see a marriage prospect?

What's the psychology behind that?

do you want to have kids right now?

do you want to have kids within the next 20 years?

that's the psychology behind it

 

[Trump]

What is everyone's thoughts on being intimate, having sex, and still dating?

I'm a little imapartial especially in the beginning however. However I met this girl, both 40. We only spent a little over a week together and went out 4 times while having sex from the 2nd date on.

We are both into each other and she stated I am the first and only guy she has slept with in 7 months since she broke up with her ex.

Don't believe it. Why would she tell you this if you didn't ask? Either for sympathy or to be a victim.

While she has been dating most of that, she hasn't found anytime she connected with until she met me and something about me that made her feel safe.

Well she admitted that is still dating a little which I totally get. We've been out 4 times.

After 7 months of meeting guys, making plans and dating, she finally found you, someone she can connect with and feel safe enough with to have sex. Yet, she is still dating a little. Isn't that a paradox? Why is she looking to date more people if she completely and utterly and soulessly gave her body to you?

This is just me, but I put dating on hold so I can get to know someone without focusing on multiple girls at a time. I don't have time for it anyway. I know it totally irrational to expect the same but for me it kinda diminishes it a little bit to me. I totally get not having sex with others but being interested in dating, maybe a kiss or something just throws me off and I mentally just check out. It's like someone is into you BUT I'm going to see if the grass is greener.

Exactly bro. So either she is completely lying or isn't telling the truth.

I told her that and had to leave town and she admitted this is going to give her time to think.

My response would be 'Honey, you are FORTY year old woman. Unless you are an Accoutant, Doctor, Lawyer, Scientist, or Engineer, any thinking you do is not relevant to society. And since you probably can't get pregnant your value is close to 0. But I'd still like to have sex with you.'

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Don't believe it. Why would she tell you this if you didn't ask? Either for sympathy or to be a victim.



After 7 months of meeting guys, making plans and dating, she finally found you, someone she can connect with and feel safe enough with to have sex. Yet, she is still dating a little. Isn't that a paradox? Why is she looking to date more people if she completely and utterly and soulessly gave her body to you?



Exactly bro. So either she is completely lying or isn't telling the truth.



My response would be 'Honey, you are FORTY year old woman. Unless you are an Accoutant, Doctor, Lawyer, Scientist, or Engineer, any thinking you do is not relevant to society. And since you probably can't get pregnant your value is close to 0. But I'd still like to have sex with you.'

Some females do this. They might've found the d1ck they are phvcking for now, but they don't stop dating. It's not necessarily looking for "new d1ck", but they do it for "fun". This is the type you don't try to be exclusive and you have plates.

 

[devilkingx2]

You know man..... I have heard the same ole song and dance from all the girls relating to sex. I can read through them like a book and the ones that are good I can still instinctively know. She is conservative, and hasn't dated much her whole life.

This one I believe and yes, the sex on a second date made me question.

Without sounding arrogant, I blew her mind on the second date. Introduced her to stuff that was way outside her zone, made her laugh her ass off all night, and we both got drunk. Honestly at that stage I didn't give a **** and wanted to get laid. I blew her ****ing her too. She kept asking how in the hell are you doing that and had the "holy ****" look on her face.

Has anyone ever got a girl to drop her panties on the second date after going a long time without sex? Sure!

When it went south is when I had to leave town for 3 weeks out of the blue, and cancel the all day Saturday date. She was stoked and it was a good date planned.

Now I basically left it as let's see where we are when I get back.

I'm going to let it play out but and see what happens when I get back.

dude if any of this was even remotely true about her, it would've been difficult for you to get laid, not easy and she'd want committment