What are some validating and fulfilling experiences you can have with women when you're older?

[Epicwinguy]

So nothing can really make up for the lack of high school relationships and college partying with hot college girls if you didn't have those things at that time. What can help me best move on from having missed out completely?

 

[Good Gao]

So nothing can really make up for the lack of high school relationships and college partying with hot college girls if you didn't have those things at that time. What can help me best move on from having missed out completely?

Same thing I wonder about here man.

The advice they will give is something very generic like:

"Forget about women and sex, quite pedestalizing it, find your life purpose, be the next Elon Musk, and it will take care of itself".

It won't though, that is where they are wrong. I agree that you need to work on building a successful lifestyle that pays you money and frees you up but I don't think that is going to fix it. You can have that six figure pay check, get a hot girlfriend, and do all that but in the end you will still feel like a square. I say that because I've been there and it hasn't really helped because that cool factor and fulfillment just isn't there when you do that.

What you need to do is have similar fulfilling experiences to truly assert your dominance on the game.

Kinda like how you couldn't win a championship in high school or college, you have to find a way to win one in the pros to put it to bed. Unfortunately, my issue is finding out how the championship looks like after college and then winning it.

I have identified the issue myself, now I am trying to find some expert minds on here to help me truly fix it.

I am thinking that three ways, orgies, and hardcore sex experiences are a step in that direction.

I am also thinking that maybe you can go to exclusive events like Cannes Film Festival, party with models, and be damn sure to throw that **** up on social media, that is another step in that direction.

I am thinking it revolves around connecting with higher status guys, dating hot girls, going to nice parties, broadcasting your lifestyle to the world as middle aged guys that knew you growing become filled with misery, and truly hitting the game hard.

It is about taking your vengeance and pushing your dominance on the game.

 

[Good Gao]

I truly want to find a way to live this sort of a fast, high status, and flashy lifestyle. The thing is, I know that in the end it will seem empty and when it does, I will move on to greater things in life. Unfortunately, internet forums are loaded with losers who will try desperately to talk you out of it, pull the morally self-righteous card, and try all they can to make sure you don't get to live that kind of a life. That is the issue with this kind of a life that leads to a lot of sex and status, most people do not want you to have it; not the feminists and not even your fellow men.

Once I live it for a few years, I think I would have made my peace and moved on to greater things. The issue is, I have to live it first but I fear that advice on here won't get me to where I want to be.

 

[Desdinova]

I do wish you offer up advice on that regard because even if a man has built it all and has his money and life worked out, some of us want that fulfillment from the game as a part of our life, not the entirety of it but as a part of it.

Here's my advice... Read the DJ Bible. That is all you need. Internalize it. Use the techniques in it. Take a couple of things you're not good at and master them. That is how I started. You can't just say "I wanna be good with women" and expect it to happen in a couple of weeks. You need to work on every single part of it. Begin at approaching women. Once you've done that, work on your number close. Then start setting up dates. You also need to know that no matter which way you do it, you are going to get rejected.

I looked at some of your other threads. All I'm seeing is your noted observations about women and an earlier post that is identical to this one where you want a life consisting of sex with hot women. Your biggest problem is you're not out there approaching. You cannot just wish this lifestyle to come your way from looking at women. YOU HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AND WORK FOR IT. You want women surrounding you? Get your ass out there and approach. Get rejected. Approach some more. Get rejected some more. Get one date. Get flaked on. Approach some more. Get another two dates. Get flaked on. THIS is how it starts out. You cannot just go out there and expect immediate success. You have to do the work to get the reward.

The issue is, I have to live it first but I fear that advice on here won't get me to where I want to be.

Quit wishing for this woman-filled lifestyle and go make it happen. If you need a jump start, do the DJ Bootcamp. It's found in the DJ Bible link. THAT is the only way you're going to get it. If you're too much of a wimp to get out there and do the work, then this forum isn't for you.

 

[Good Gao]

Here's my advice... Read the DJ Bible. That is all you need. Internalize it. Use the techniques in it. Take a couple of things you're not good at and master them. That is how I started. You can't just say "I wanna be good with women" and expect it to happen in a couple of weeks. You need to work on every single part of it. Begin at approaching women. Once you've done that, work on your number close. Then start setting up dates. You also need to know that no matter which way you do it, you are going to get rejected.

I looked at some of your other threads. All I'm seeing is your noted observations about women and an earlier post that is identical to this one where you want a life consisting of sex with hot women. Your biggest problem is you're not out there approaching. You cannot just wish this lifestyle to come your way from looking at women. YOU HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AND WORK FOR IT. You want women surrounding you? Get your ass out there and approach. Get rejected. Approach some more. Get rejected some more. Get one date. Get flaked on. Approach some more. Get another two dates. Get flaked on. THIS is how it starts out. You cannot just go out there and expect immediate success. You have to do the work to get the reward.



Quit wishing for this woman-filled lifestyle and go make it happen. If you need a jump start, do the DJ Bootcamp. It's found in the DJ Bible link. THAT is the only way you're going to get it. If you're too much of a wimp to get out there and do the work, then this forum isn't for you.

You don't get it, it is NOT about the *****.

Please try to make sense of it, it is not about sex, I get that time to time and it doesn't even excite me as much anymore. Sure, it feels good at that time but other than that, it is just a ****.

I want ***** to mean a lot more to me like it would have meant to me back in high school and college.

 

[ubercat]

And backing up Des not that he needs it. If you get a girlfriend and you don't have a life to share the relationships going to be pretty stormy and short lived

 

[ubercat]

Nothing wrong with Dee Sade s approach either. It's going to be very interesting to see if this perspective changes at age 45.

One of the things that annoys me the most about Society over the last 10 years is how deeply they have the meat hooks into your back now. Example most of the cost in your utilities bills is for the connection not your usage so you can't actually be frugal and control your spend. They have set up western society so you're going to be a good little revenue unit for the powers that be whether you like it or not. There's a lot of guys like Tim fenris and Rolf Potts who's looked at how you can take your retirement in Chunks along the way.

The reality is that the guys who escape The Matrix are likely to be the five percenters. The rest of us have to learn how to live in it with a little dignity and knowing it for what it is.
Let's face it being a 21st Century Digital peasant is still better than being a peasant in most previous ages so no reason to be too bitter.
The problem is that the media it's telling every man he can be a multi millionaire and the manosphere is telling every man he can be an alpha Warrior King. Of course that is going to cause a lot of cognitive dissonance.

 

[Desdinova]

I want ***** to mean a lot more to me like it would have meant to me back in high school and college.

You can't get that back. Experience will dull your senses when it comes to women, pvssy, etc. When I was with my first serious GF, I would leave her house with my d1ck crazy-glued to my underwear from all the premature ejaculation from just LOOKING at her and being touched by her. No woman has been able to drive me that wild since then. It's all innocence, inexperience, excitement and anticipation wrapped up into one.

The only way you'd be able to possibly recapture that is to remain celibate for 10 years or so, but what man in their right fvcking mind is going to do that?

 

[bigneil]

Life is supposed to be long and lonely.

As for validation, the only thing I need women for is sex alongside fun experiences I can show off and brag about, occasionally as arm candy too.

**** marriage and LTRs.

Yes, the validation is occasionally scoring with younger and younger women, and being a sex camel (going for miles with just one or two humps) the rest of the time. That keeps us hungry enough to seek improvement. Too much sex is hedonistic and we get fat and lazy.

• When I was 28 I was dating two girls who were 17 (6 month to 3 years).
• At 35 I dated an 18 year old (short term).
• At 41 I dated a 19 year old (2.5 years).
• At 46 I am dating a 20 year old (in progress).

At this rate I'll be dating a 21 year old at 50, a 22 year old at 53, a 23 year old at 55, and settle down with a 24 year old at 56.

When they are that much younger, their pvssies taste like candy. And nothing makes women your age more angry!

It's not easy getting them to do it for free at that age, and it's easy to have your reality clouded by sugar babies, but you have to decide what is real, and if she provides it, don't worry about her real intentions. We never know their ulterior motives. They always say in the end they never loved us, because whatever they feel in the moment, they pretend they always felt.

 

[Good Gao]

Not getting it guys, it's not just about the girls, read the thread again, it is about social life, popularity, AND the *****.

 

[BeExcellent]

High school and college are over and done. So get over it and quit looking back for that nostalgia. But the great thing about adulthood is you get to pick the people in your social circle if you know what you want and how to get there. Here is how you do it.

1. Become someone cool that people want to hang out with. Understand that other people's favorite topic is themselves and practice talking about the other person with everyone you run into. Makes conversation easy. Also have enough interesting going on in your own life that you are an interesting person to chat with & hang out with. Know how to be comfortable with yourself and how to make others feel comfortable and engaged in your company.

1a. Dress exceptionally well and maintain impeccable grooming. Wear quality shoes. There are good threads previously on SS about this. Your clothes and grooming broadcast whether or not you "fit" in certain groups.

1b. Drive a car that says the things about you that you want said. People are shallow. They judge you on what they can see. That's just the way it is. For the lifestyle you say you aspire to image is very important. Is what people see creating the image you want? Doesn't matter whether or not you like it, people pay attention to that sort of thing.

1c. Watch your mouth and learn to speak eloquently if you don't already do this naturally. Be elegant, never vulgar or base. Never curse around people you don't know well.

2. Find some "high end" hobbies and find groups to socialize with that enjoy these hobbies. Some suggestions: Wine enthusiast, cigar enthusiast, scotch enthusiast, equestrian sports/polo, playing tennis, sailing, the symphony, art collecting, Formula One, aviation, film festivals, charity events. Make friends with other people who share these interests. Cultivate those friendships.

3. Be a visible and known patron at exclusive places. The best clubs, pubs, restaurants, etc. Hang out where people with the lifestyle you want hang out. You'll learn a lot and see how people interact. If you become a regular then you'll meet other people who hang out there and you can expand your social circle.

4. Be generous within this new group as you get established. Buy someone a drink or a meal, do someone a favor, offer to help using a skill or talent that you have. Display the value you bring to the table within the group (key is to HAVE some value to bring).

If you have good "game" you use your game socially to integrate yourself into the group. The above suggestions assume a couple of things:

A. That you have at least enough financial success to access and pay for the types of things listed above (This *for your purposes* is why you need money - people who are successful don't hang out where unsuccessful people hang out as a general rule - they go places where the unsuccessful can't afford to go). If you are a single guy making 6 figures you should be fine.

B. That you have sufficient social skills to be accepted into the sorts of groups that like what you do above. In other words you can't come off like a punk or a wannabe. You need to already have enough chops to be able to hang in the crowd you select. If you don't have the chops, then focus on getting that accomplished first, otherwise you're a groupie and nobody will take you seriously. Learn and respect the pecking order of the group you choose, at least at first. Don't be a punk or people will shun you.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Hmmm... reading that list above, it seems that what's motivating it is a desire for popularity... the exact thing that high school kids obsess about. I think you need more of a 'double-edged' personality; yes, you will know how to relate to people of various social groupings [not just one!], and also cultivate your own inner edgy personality [a better word for this is character]... this is what makes you interested in life, and interesting to others. It is also what will help you move in and out of differing social circles.

 

[BeExcellent]

Desire for popularity is absolutely what is motivating the OP. But he whines about not knowing what to do/how to get it.

Ok there's the roadmap. You are right @ChristopherColumbus that you need certain personality attributes. Some have those naturally, others must develop those attributes.

I'm a successful person & make friends easily with influential people. But I myself am an influential person and am ambitious that way. There is no shame in wishing to expand one's social circles or circle of influence. It's fun to have a bevy of friends all over the place.

If he had all the skill sets required to do as my list suggests he wouldn't have the question in the first place, but I still think it was worth putting out there. Perhaps he can see better his areas where a change in perspective is required. Maybe it will help someone else. Maybe it will help him.

The issue comes down to what men here call inner game. That typically takes some period of time or life experience to develop.

 

[Good Gao]

@BeExcellent

Yup, YOU GOT IT! You figured out what I was after, popularity indeed. What gets me is that in my high school and college days, I was the guy missing out and not getting those experiences that others around my age were.

I mean popular is a good start but I have to know that I am above others my age, above them on the pecking order, in an exclusive crowd, having those exclusive experiences, and doing all that while they are not. It's that feeling of knowing I am ****ing a hot girl in my 30s while others wish they were in my situation, also me being a part of an exclusive crowd and doing exclusive things.

I am thinking a kickass Instagram account can help with that but really, it is that feeling I want.

 

[Julian]

doesnt any1 believe in love anymore? lmao

 

[Good Gao]

There's just one problem with your whole theory.

The very nature of things such as "fulfillment" and "validation" are based on achieving your desires. And that's where you're overlooking something really big.

The threesomes, orgies, Playboy mansion parties.... whatever it is.... no matter how good.... you'll eventually grow bored of it. Achieving your desires comes from change. Right now all of that Playboy sh*t is a great desire for you because it is a radical change from your current life.

You can bang supermodels and centerfolds every weekend, but if you do it long enough, sooner or later you'll feel like you're just surrounded by anorexic, pill popping, psychos who obsessively chatter on and on and f*cking on about shallow and pointless sh*t. It will not be desired anymore, because it comes too easy and the negatives once so willingly overlooked will start to bother you more and more. You're desire to simply chill with a down to earth chick who can down a beer, talk ball and play a game of billiards with you will begin to grow, just for the f*cking change in pace. The same is true vice versa. Eventually, a guy who already has that will want the supermodel and centerfold experience.

The true spirit of adventure and living at will demands from you change from time to time. And quite often, the most drastic change can end up being the most validating.

So who gives a f*ck if one guy get his validation from numbers and another chilling with his girl? Both will grow bored and desire a change sooner or later.

Ya ya ya.

NAH!

Life is more objective than that. Read my thread, it is not just about having those parties, it is about having an audience see me experience all of that in life.

 

[Good Gao]

Oh yeah? Then what? When those same people don't give a sh*t anymore? You're going to just keep living your life saying "Hey guys! Look at me! Look! C'mon. LOOK!"?

Good luck with that.

Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't pursue those things. Go for it. I'm just saying that just because that's what you think is validating, doesn't mean it is for everyone. ANd one day, it will no longer be validating for you either.

Ya.

But I still rather experience it regardless of consequences, I know it won't be like it forever but I still have to experience it before I get way too old for it in my 40s.

If only I knew what experience can get me that validating type of feeling in the short term.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I first read the OP a couple days ago and really had to contemplate this a bit before I posted because I do not really look to women for some kind of satisfying or happy result beyond my nut and seeing her worn and used on my bed.

But for me the most validating thing I can expect from a woman is an intellectual discussion where her points of view make sense to me. Emphasis on the making sense part. So many women I meet and they are so far out there. It really feels like I'm constantly dealing with children here. Just to be able to connect on an intellectual level would be epic for once.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

The demon of being cool, haunts me all the ****ing time tbh and I can't even take pleasure in the game because of it. I guess it's just a part of who some of us are. Some guys naturally want to be alpha and be that way by dominating other guys in the social realm. In high school and college it was straightforward since everyone saw each other but after that, it becomes a bit diffused.

It's like we need structure to truly be happy, a clear picture of what to aim for so we can still feel like a part of something.