After a year of living on my own, Im still really struggling with it!

[Hermit]

Hi guys,

A little background here, rightly or wrongly I have been in relationships one to the next since I was 1 without any break in between.

I'm 30 next year and been single for a year also been living on my own for the first time too.

Sometimes after a long day at work, all I just want to do is get back to my apartment and chill out but sometimes I really struggle just being on my own.

It has got much better then it was but is still there, it was really bad when I first moved out mad me extremely clingy and weak with my girlfriend at the time, it kind of ruined my relationship but it was extremely unhealthy anyway so that does bother me anymore.

Is this normal to feel like this sometimes? Does it get any easier spend time on your own?

 

[SgtSplacker]

At first I was like that too. After having to kick out a couple psycho hos I learned to appreciate privacy and being able to do whatever I wanted to do with my time.

This is just part of unplugging yourself hommie. Learn to be happy with yourself. Don't turn to female companionship for validation or because you are bored. This is how you make mistakes with women. The last thing you want a girl to see is that you are bored without her. Go to the gym for Christ's sake...

 

[Hermit]

At first I was like that too. After having to kick out a couple psycho hos I learned to appreciate privacy and being able to do whatever I wanted to do with my time.

This is just part of unplugging yourself hommie. Learn to be happy with yourself. Don't turn to female companionship for validation or because you are bored. This is how you make mistakes with women. The last thing you want a girl to see is that you are bored without her. Go to the gym for Christ's sake...

One step ahead of you! I start training Brazilian jiu-jitsu again next week fella, 3 night's a week and to be honest I can't wait, haven't had the motivation or self esteem to do anything like that after my break up. I wish I found this site years ago!

 

[ubercat]

That's why it's important to set up a life for yourself and maintain it if you are in a LTR. It helps you to maintain frame as you know if you walk away because of bad behaviour you still have a life. It also sounds like you should build your social circle right now that's probably far more important than having a girl. I remember reading somewhere that most people need 7 friends to meet all the emotional and social needs. So there's impossible goal

 

[Poon King]

I live alone and I f*cking love it. Best situation for spinning plates too because you don't have nosy/jealous captain save-a-hoe white knight roommates to f*ck up your game. I can have a different woman in my apartment each night. Privacy allows us to get freaky and loud without disturbing anyone.

Spin plates. Don't just sit at home holding your d!ck.

 

[Trump]

That's why it's important to set up a life for yourself and maintain it if you are in a LTR. It helps you to maintain frame as you know if you walk away because of bad behaviour you still have a life. It also sounds like you should build your social circle right now that's probably far more important than having a girl. I remember reading somewhere that most people need 7 friends to meet all the emotional and social needs. So there's impossible goal

These 7 friends to meet all your emotional and social needs wont think twice to backstab you if there is any possibility their life will improve at your expense. But that doesn't mean don't have them.

 

[ubercat]

That's part of the game unfortunately. One thing I will say is be very careful introducing your friends to each other. Only do it when you know them for a long time. Some people have to be on top in any social situation and we'll quite happily drive a wedge between you and your other friends. Basically if you invite a snake into the house then it becomes the snakes house not yours.