"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Currently have plates, but still think about another.

CMNILS87

CMNILS87

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The deeper I go into plate theory and working on dating multiple women, the more I dislike constant attention from them. The ones that show super high interest are good, but I always think about the girl I had a good connection with and screwed it up on a 3rd date. The plates I have now are fun to hang with, but not as much in common or feel much of a connection to. The one that rejected me I had a great time and the hobbies and values were all there, just my aggressiveness came out and bombed the date at the end. Can anyone explain that? Ego validation? Ego hurt because I didn't game the girl right? Anyways it's been 2 months NC with her and it ended simply by her saying she had fun, but too aggressive/pushy. Would it be worth reaching out or does that leave me in a powerless position?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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JonnyD123

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Man, I do the EXACT. SAME. THING. I have a huge ego as well, and as much as it sucks, you just have to let them go. Learn from your mistakes, move on, and when a higher quality woman comes along, you'll know what to do. If she hits you up, set a definite date. If not, don't let it bother you. Go to the gym, take care of yourself. That way if she does come along, you'll be better than when she saw you last. Lastly, find Coach Corey Wayne on YouTube. His material changed my life. Best of luck to ya brother.
 
P

Pandora

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CMNILS87 said:
The deeper I go into plate theory and working on dating multiple women, the more I dislike constant attention from them. The ones that show super high interest are good, but I always think about the girl I had a good connection with and screwed it up on a 3rd date. The plates I have now are fun to hang with, but not as much in common or feel much of a connection to. The one that rejected me I had a great time and the hobbies and values were all there, just my aggressiveness came out and bombed the date at the end. Can anyone explain that? Ego validation? Ego hurt because I didn't game the girl right? Anyways it's been 2 months NC with her and it ended simply by her saying she had fun, but too aggressive/pushy. Would it be worth reaching out or does that leave me in a powerless position?
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See i find this interesting. These days a girl can have fun on a date and still drop you like a bad habit. They have so many options that even the slightest infraction will cost you big time. Being aggressive on date 3 is not something a rational person would reject a guy for. Girls in the past would routinely let bigger red flags slide. Being sexually aggressive aint shi*. But when you so many options anything short of perfection is not adequate. Very similar situation happend to me a couple times last month. I feel like girls are getting even choosier.
 
mrgoodstuff

mrgoodstuff

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Pandora said:
See i find this interesting. These days a girl can have fun on a date and still drop you like a bad habit. They have so many options that even the slightest infraction will cost you big time. Being aggressive on date 3 is not something a rational person would reject a guy for. Girls in the past would routinely let bigger red flags slide. Being sexually aggressive aint shi*. But when you so many options anything short of perfection is not adequate. Very similar situation happend to me a couple times last month. I feel like girls are getting even choosier.
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F* them right? Get your SMV where you need it to be and YOU do the choosing. Flakey a$$ h0ez.
 
E

EyeBRollin

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If you feel weak and have the urge to contact her, do the following in order:

1) delete and block her on all forms of social media, and the dating app you met her on.
2) delete your current text conversation with her.
3) block her number
4) delete her number.

Problem solved.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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guru1000

guru1000

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CMNILS87 said:
The deeper I go into plate theory and working on dating multiple women, the more I dislike constant attention from them. The ones that show super high interest are good, but I always think about the girl I had a good connection with and screwed it up on a 3rd date.

... just my aggressiveness came out and bombed the date at the end
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You didn't screw up the third date. That's an illusion you fed yourself. She was just higher on the SMV scale (in your opinion) than the other women. So naturally, your mind focalizes on the "item" of greater value. As your "game" develops, you will see that it was never you who had screwed up: Although you felt a strong connection, she didn't, and hence the "poof."

Funny thing about the ego, huh? It will contrive terms such as "game," and rationalize its way back to comfort with one thousand things you could have done differently. Very rarely can the ego say, "Hey, she just wasn't that into me."

Alternatively, a highly interested girl will contrive one thousand rationalizations as to why you are such a great guy and overlook your banging her sister.
 
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user43770

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guru1000 said:
Alternatively, a highly interested girl will contrive one thousand rationalizations as to why you are such a great guy and overlook your banging her sister.
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This.

OP, have you checked out Anti-Dump in the DJ Bible?
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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