Playing the online dating game, what first message to write?

[Stephen89]

So I've put myself up to online dating, I am a good looking male, I've put 3 pictures up. I've asked my sister to rate how I've described myself on my profile and she says it is fine.

I've sent a message to 10 women and a week later I still haven't received a reply. I'm surprised because I'm attractive. 4 of them have looked at my profile and haven't replied.

Here mostly what I've sent:

Hi,

I came across your profile and I'm interested in getting to know you more OR:

I came across your profile and I'm interested in getting to know you more, so tell me more about yourself/so which places would you like to travel to (if they put on their profile they love to travel).

I'm not sure what to send as a first message, I could put something jokey like "So when we get married are you going to work and pay the bills while I sit on the sofa" however I think most of these women are after long term relationships and this could come off sleazy.

I would appreciate your comments.

 

[MrWood]

what works for me likely wont work for you, but my response rate is above 75% across hundreds of profiles and sites
this is targeted to European/Russian women where English is non-native
site is a (mostly) a LTR type of site... this does not work for a quick hookup, but does get responses and first dates (28-38yo)

Hello! my name is MrWood. I like your profile in some way, the style, the smile... I have an opinion
many here contact to meet, but really I am only interested in the one woman for me...
one that gives RESPECT and LOYALTY, is that you?
Always need to start with a friendship first don’t you think?
What do you say?

your profile text is perhaps more important, and should reflect/compliment your opener

 

[Stephen89]

Thanks Mr Wood, really appreciate your advice!

 

[Stephen89]

This is getting frustrating, none of those 10 females have replied and it's been a month. Also I've sent 7 more messages and no one has replied back to those.

I'm a decent looking guy, I initially thought for every 5 I sent, I would get one-two replies, but 17 rejections in a row now lol. It sucks I'm being rejected by average looking women.

About 70% of these women are average looking, I just sent 2-3 messages to the attractive ones. I want to find out what messages work and what doesn't.

My main pic is myself smiling with a black blazor and a casual shirt. Perhaps I need to put a casual pic of myself.

Any advice appreciated.

 

[dustmuffin]

This is getting frustrating, none of those 10 females have replied and it's been a month. Also I've sent 7 more messages and no one has replied back to those.

I'm a decent looking guy, I initially thought for every 5 I sent, I would get one-two replies, but 17 rejections in a row now lol.

My main pic is myself smiling with a black blazor and a casual shirt. Perhaps I need to put a casual pic of myself.

Any advice appreciated.

This works for me. I get plenty of dates with this approach.

Hey xxx whats up?
Your profile caught my eye and I would like to meet you.
We could message endlessly or just meet for drinks.
What is your schedule like this week?

Dustmuffin

Send this message to 5 women. Wait a day for responses. No takers? Send it out to 5 more. It's a game of numbers. I get as many dates as I want with this approach. Last week I had 4 dates. This week I have dates for fri and sat with repeat girls I met on match. I have had sex with one and Im positive I will f uck the other. She has agreed to meet me at my house and we will drive together for the date. If you get them to your house its a good sign that they are DTF. I also have one tomorrow and had two flakes. I have two other girls I could ask out that are repeats for sure sex. Im dropping them because I am tired of them.

I use match, tinder and bumble. I have very good success with match. Ask for the date straight away.

 

[Stephen89]

This works for me. I get plenty of dates with this approach.

Hey xxx whats up?
Your profile caught my eye and I would like to meet you.
We could message endlessly or just meet for drinks.
What is your schedule like this week?

Dustmuffin

Send this message to 5 women. Wait a day for responses. No takers? Send it out to 5 more. It's a game of numbers. I get as many dates as I want with this approach. Last week I had 4 dates. This week I have dates for fri and sat with repeat girls I met on match. I have had sex with one and Im positive I will f uck the other. She has agreed to meet me at my house and we will drive together for the date. If you get them to your house its a good sign that they are DTF. I also have one tomorrow and had two flakes. I have two other girls I could ask out that are repeats for sure sex. Im dropping them because I am tired of them.

I use match, tinder and bumble. I have very good success with match. Ask for the date straight away.

Thank you very much for your comments and seeing what is successful for you dustmuffin, I really appreciate your comments and will take your advice!

 

[Slash Dolo]

Online dating sucks and women have all the power there as they get much attention from desperate guys 24/7. You're only going to have a lot of success if you're a male model. Hang it up and go meet people IRL or at least through Facebook where you have some mutual friends.

 

[dustmuffin]

Thank you very much for your comments and seeing what is successful for you dustmuffin, I really appreciate your comments and will take your advice!

Can you post a link to your dating profile? What dating sites are you using?

 

[dustmuffin]

Online dating sucks and women have all the power there as they get much attention from desperate guys 24/7. You're only going to have a lot of success if you're a male model. Hang it up and go meet people IRL or at least through Facebook where you have some mutual friends.

I have good success with old. I'm not a male model. I'm 53 years old and have pulled women of all ages. It's easy because it dosent take a lot of time. But why not do both old and rl approach and see what works best for you?

 

[Glassguy]

This works for me. I get plenty of dates with this approach.

Hey xxx whats up?
Your profile caught my eye and I would like to meet you.
We could message endlessly or just meet for drinks.
What is your schedule like this week?

Dustmuffin

Send this message to 5 women. Wait a day for responses. No takers? Send it out to 5 more. It's a game of numbers. I get as many dates as I want with this approach. Last week I had 4 dates. This week I have dates for fri and sat with repeat girls I met on match. I have had sex with one and Im positive I will f uck the other. She has agreed to meet me at my house and we will drive together for the date. If you get them to your house its a good sign that they are DTF. I also have one tomorrow and had two flakes. I have two other girls I could ask out that are repeats for sure sex. Im dropping them because I am tired of them.

I use match, tinder and bumble. I have very good success with match. Ask for the date straight away.

That is actually very slick. Its to the point and it weeds out the endless texting attention *****s while putting emphasis on meeting up asap.

I just sent it out a few times. See how it works. I've had no problems smashing from Tinder and POF but I do get the occasional chick looking for an ego boost and wanting to chat chat chat.....next next next!

 

[dustmuffin]

That is actually very slick. Its to the point and it weeds out the endless texting attention *****s while putting emphasis on meeting up asap.

I just sent it out a few times. See how it works. I've had no problems smashing from Tinder and POF but I do get the occasional chick looking for an ego boost and wanting to chat chat chat.....next next next!

Ty...that is why I use it . I'm not interested in chatting just meeting. Quite a few of the women mentioned that they liked my direct approach instead of chit chatting.

 

[Glassguy]

I dont mind a little chit chat as long as its AFTER they have agreed to the meet.

I had one last week that wanted to chit chat and I said "Sorry, not looking for a pen pal. Looking for real world meet ups and see what happens. Good luck".

Within 5 minutes she was like "hang on a second....when are you free?". Lol. Smashed her that night.

 

[Slash Dolo]

I have good success with old. I'm not a male model. I'm 53 years old and have pulled women of all ages. It's easy because it dosent take a lot of time. But why not do both old and rl approach and see what works best for you?

Success as in just responses or meet ups?

I can make a Tinder, spend 5+ hours gaming chicks on there and get some dates... only to find they look nothing like their pics or are headcases. A lot easier just to go to a party and scout, or meet someone through a friend IMO.

 

[dustmuffin]

Success as in just responses or meet ups?

I can make a Tinder, spend 5+ hours gaming chicks on there and get some dates... only to find they look nothing like their pics or are headcases. A lot easier just to go to a party and scout, or meet someone through a friend IMO.

Dates.....I get as many as I want. I set up the date get her ph# and go radio silent until the date. I usually have three or more per week. Two repeats and one or more first dates. All gotten online. Don't game a woman through text. Ask for the date, set it and forget about her until it's time to go out. If I have to text a lot I next and move on. I don't have time for it. I don't go to parties or bars. I have had success with meet-ups. Old for me is great.

 

[Glassguy]

Dates.....I get as many as I want. I set up the date get her ph# and go radio silent until the date. I usually have three or more per week. Two repeats and one or more first dates. All gotten online. Don't game a woman through text. Ask for the date, set it and forget about her until it's time to go out. If I have to text a lot I next and move on. I don't have time for it. I don't go to parties or bars. I have had success with meet-ups. Old for me is great.

I normally hit them with a text a few hours before we are scheduled to meet up....something like "hey trouble....did we say tonight at 8 or 9?"

Just to confirm the date and make sure she isnt going to flake.

 

[dustmuffin]

I normally hit them with a text a few hours before we are scheduled to meet up....something like "hey trouble....did we say tonight at 8 or 9?"

Just to confirm the date and make sure she isnt going to flake.

I do the same. I think it's a good idea.

 

[Floydispink01]

If a girl has big set of t.its, open up with:

'Hey, just seen your pics. That reminds me, I gotta to pick up some milk later. Cheers.'

 

[MrOctober]

see the thing for awhile was to get creative.

I think the creative approach is losing its edge and the generic startup approach is the best bet atm.
let them look at your pro after that and hit you back.

with the generic startup im 3/5 ok cupid. one flake. one uninterested. 3 smashed.
POF im 1/1 smashed.

from a span from January until now. im lazy though I shoot a few messages here and there see if something catches.

 

[Glassguy]

The only problem I run into is after I get their number, they text me, I try to set up the date......they act goofy. I take them as attention *****s who want to text and chit chat. Had one today that said "Maybe we can get together next weekend on Sunday, I am very busy".....after she blew my phone up.

I just let her know that I am not shopping for a pen pal, I prefer to meet people in order to get to know them and good luck.

It may be a bit drastic, but I dont have time for chit chat and endless texts. These are match and pof chicks, if they dont want to meet up soon I dont have time for it.

 

[smutu]

So I've put myself up to online dating, I am a good looking male, I've put 3 pictures up. I've asked my sister to rate how I've described myself on my profile and she says it is fine.

I've sent a message to 10 women and a week later I still haven't received a reply. I'm surprised because I'm attractive. 4 of them have looked at my profile and haven't replied.

Here mostly what I've sent:

Hi,

I came across your profile and I'm interested in getting to know you more OR:

I came across your profile and I'm interested in getting to know you more, so tell me more about yourself/so which places would you like to travel to (if they put on their profile they love to travel).

I'm not sure what to send as a first message, I could put something jokey like "So when we get married are you going to work and pay the bills while I sit on the sofa" however I think most of these women are after long term relationships and this could come off sleazy.

I would appreciate your comments.

You couldn't do worse.