It's been a while since I did some cold approach. I was out at the mall today without the intention of approaching. Then I went into this store to check things out and happen to see this HB9 and I really wanted to go talk to her. Then I paused and over analyzed and ended up poosying out. Feels really bad man. The feeling of intense disappointment lasted for about half an hour and I felt really discouraged from approaching women throughout the whole day because I was so stuck pondering "what if". I would rather get that definite rejection then to forever wonder how she might've responded. Also, I had an empty stomach so I was kinda out of it. The whole time, I was thinking of something clever to say through observation but couldn't think of anything, also I was giving too much of a fux what others around would think or say. It was a small store so it was a really congested area with lots of people crowding around. How do you guys overcome this sh*t?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
How do you recover from a disappointment from not going for it?
- Thread starter DongWong
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You never live down missed opportunities. 20 years later you'll wish you made a move.
Likewise, a man never truly gets over a broken heart, it leaves a slight but permanent scar.
So either way you are facing serious disappointment if things don't work out. Those are the stakes when it comes to passing on your genes.
Likewise, a man never truly gets over a broken heart, it leaves a slight but permanent scar.
So either way you are facing serious disappointment if things don't work out. Those are the stakes when it comes to passing on your genes.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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When you see a woman you're interested in, just fvcking go approach. Don't over analyze. Don't let that goddam fear pouring out of your head into your body stop you. Just go. Rejection is easier to recover from than regret. The more you practice approaching, the easier it gets, and the easier 'just going' gets. That fear of approaching never goes away, but you can make it trigger your legs to walk toward her so you can initiate contact.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Just approach the next women you see and you will forget all about this one. Just put her out of your mind, refuse to think about her.
@Desdinova is right. Don't think, just act. The longer you sit around and think about it the more you make excuses why you should not approach. DON'T THINK about anything, just approach.
@Desdinova is right. Don't think, just act. The longer you sit around and think about it the more you make excuses why you should not approach. DON'T THINK about anything, just approach.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Building_and_Loan
Senior Don Juan
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Just remember that when you approach, even if you get rejected, you are improving. You're making a positive step forward in your comfort level with women by approaching as many as you can.
If you don't approach, all you're doing is giving yourself a reason to wallow in self-pity and regret.
One more thing that helps me anyway - if you approach a girl (coffee shop, supermarket, bar) and she rejects you, just remember there's a 99.99% chance you'll never see her again for the rest of your life anyway, so what do you have to lose?
If you don't approach, all you're doing is giving yourself a reason to wallow in self-pity and regret.
One more thing that helps me anyway - if you approach a girl (coffee shop, supermarket, bar) and she rejects you, just remember there's a 99.99% chance you'll never see her again for the rest of your life anyway, so what do you have to lose?
hockeyfreak79
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Everyone is wired differently. Some more sensitive than others. This kinda reminds me of back in the day, 18-19yrs old. I was seeing a HB8 her name was Jackie. I took he V card.
So after a month or so my friends asked me if I loved her? I had to pause for a minute? This had seriously never even crossed my mind! It was then that I realized I wasn't a big vagina p*ssy like my friends were.
Side note: Many years later I ended up finding Jackie on FB through other friends. She's a lesbian now, Ha!
So after a month or so my friends asked me if I loved her? I had to pause for a minute? This had seriously never even crossed my mind! It was then that I realized I wasn't a big vagina p*ssy like my friends were.
Side note: Many years later I ended up finding Jackie on FB through other friends. She's a lesbian now, Ha!
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Oh no! I hope you weren't the reason she became a lesbian! Either way, you should remind her what the D is like! She needs a re-up on the vitamin D! Haha
Viscontii
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I've felt the same way before when I passed up on approach; it can be hard to forget missed opportunities like this. But like ohrein said, the next time you want to approach remember how you felt when you passed up the chance and just do it.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
This is like asking how do you recover from accidentally stepping on an ant. Oh no, "what if"?
Answer: by realizing it's not a big deal
I bet if you realized this you would have approached her too, because you wouldn't have been all up in your head[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]
Floydispink01
Senior Don Juan
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This may sound shallow but I feel more comfortable approaching hot girls after approaching less attractive and plain girls first. It's kind of like warming up.