Need advice from older black men

[Dhoulmagus]

This is for the black guys that were called white growing up or grew up in an exclusively white suburb. We are one of the most ignored people in the country because we are largely outshadowed by our other counterparts and racism. I'm 23 starting my first job after college and I am starting think the gang banging thugs have it better because they get all the attention and trashy women. I'm largely ignored by everybody and have to deal with the racism bs too. How have yall managed to thrive in this position in life?

 

[Tictac]

This is for the black guys that were called white growing up or grew up in an exclusively white suburb. We are one of the most ignored people in the country because we are largely outshadowed by our other counterparts and racism. I'm 23 starting my first job after college and I am starting think the gang banging thugs have it better because they get all the attention and trashy women. I'm largely ignored by everybody and have to deal with the racism bs too. How have yall managed to thrive in this position in life?

Give it time. Wheat and chaff take some time separating. The thugs may look like they're doing well now.

I hired an impeccably educated African-American guy (Swathmore BS/Stanford MBA) born to one of DC's worst neighborhoods when I worked at a big NYC bank. He was having some of the same issues for a while, especially when he visited home. He's now a Managing Director at Goldman Sachs (making $5 million or so a year) and is married to one of the most beautiful and solid (African-American) women I've ever known.

 

[Tenacity]

This is for the black guys that were called white growing up or grew up in an exclusively white suburb. We are one of the most ignored people in the country because we are largely outshadowed by our other counterparts and racism. I'm 23 starting my first job after college and I am starting think the gang banging thugs have it better because they get all the attention and trashy women. I'm largely ignored by everybody and have to deal with the racism bs too. How have yall managed to thrive in this position in life?

The only thing you can do is try to surround yourself with people who like you, love you, or at least pretend pretty well that they do. That includes both women and guys who claim to be your "friends". Also includes family members or so-called family members.

The reality is that us educated/good black men are outcasts of society.

- A lot of white people don't like us because they think we are "just like" the thug/bums/criminals in the black community.

- A lot of black people don't like us, because we are supposedly sell-outs, Uncle Toms, and Coons.

Enjoy your life. We might see the age of 75 or 80, which isn't a long time, as a result:

- Chase your passion in life
- Try to make as much money as you can
- Stay out of legal trouble
- Workout/eat healthy/try to stay in good health
- Try to develop some sort of spiritual foundation
- Deal with the women that give you the LEAST amount of headaches
- If you have a kid or kids, try to be the best Father you can be
- If you decide to get married, make sure you do it in a way to where if it ends you don't go bankrupt

- And if you find 1 GENUINE friend during this entire time.....consider yourself blessed.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Do yall know any good areas in the US that are friendly towards me or should I just look to abroad haha?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Do yall know any good areas in the US that are friendly towards me or should I just look to abroad haha?

Consider Latino women. There are black females in the same position as you, you gotta find the pockets of them. They exist and think their are no counterpart for themselves.

 

[speed dawg]

Do yall know any good areas in the US that are friendly towards me or should I just look to abroad haha?

As long as you aren't spouting that BS from the AE thread and walking around with a chip on your shoulder, then there are many places that would be great for you. Just stay out of the ghettos and avoid coming into contact with black trash that brings you down.

I am in Atlanta and there are lots of middle class professional blacks here. Unfortunately most of them are in that 90% who have an attitude towards whites, so for your own position, I would avoid them too, lest you get hung up in more anger. You might try Tampa or Orlando, there is TRUE diversity down there, all types of folks. If I ever move again, that's probably where I'm heading unless I get sick of people in general and head out to Montana.

Bottom line, it's your attitude that makes you, and it sounds like yours could use some work.

 

[sodbuster]

People ALL judge on looks initially. You throw out racism right away. Get away from that particular chip on your shoulder. I've seen it work both ways. When I was in school, white women were chasing black guys who looked like they chased parked cars. As a white guy, I wasn't in play, but my black friend was.... he got more azz than a public toilet, and he was married.....

IF there is pre-judgement,learn how to diffuse it. a smile and an educated conversation is a start. At our class reunion, we got on the elevator with a family. We could tell they were nervous. I asked what they were in town for? When they asked us, I told them the Dental School reunion and you could feel the tension drop. Actually had a decent talk, for about the length of the elevator ride. We had it happen all the time that weekend, mainly because he had the Ice Tea look going on and was 6'4" 200lbs plus, and I looked like his white "muscle"

IF you can't lose the "racism" attitude, you WILL be held back in your job. As a business owner who employs all women, I'd NEVER hire a woman's studies graduate. She's had 4 years to learn how "oppressed" she is and would be looking for sexism the whole time. I just don't need the drama. I don't want to spend all day worrying about "offending her". I want to get **** done as fast and as profitably as possible.

Is there racism? D@mn right there is. Goes both directions. Put your big boy pants on and kick ass anyway. I've got "white priviledge" and was born lucky.... I was "lucky" enough to work 80 hours a week all summer on dads farm as a kid. I was "lucky" I studied my azz off and got into Dental School. I was "lucky" enough to eat so much chicken noodle soup that I had to put ketchup in it to change the flavor while I was starting my office... {so I didn't puke it up} { while welfare mothers were eating better than I was, and I took a reduced fee to see them}. I was "lucky" to spend 40% and invest the rest. And I'll be "lucky" to be "rich" some day. At least, the losers will see it that way.....