Girl talking too much about her problems.

[Dogbreath]

So I've been seeing this girl (she claims to be a woman) and at first she was all warm everything was going well. This chick is really good looking, smart, and she's rich. Anyway, everything was moving along fine when all of a sudden she became cold. Once she became cold it wasn't so much of a I'm losing interest in you but more that she seems really self absorbed with her problems; I would say she probably has an anxiety disorder, and she just wants to keep talking about her emotional baggage. So I go through the list of items in her bag with her offering kind words, thinking we made headway, and boom, we're right back at the beginning of the list again. This is driving me up the wall and she is no longer giving me what I want or what I need, but there is a part of me that keeps expecting things to go back to the way they were before. Anyone have an experience like this before? I mean I got my own issues, like everyone, and she seems to trivialize my problems which are substantively worse than hers.

 

[Tictac]

Sounds like a lovely girl. You're perfect for each other. You two should get married!

Drop her.

 

[Serenity]

Ask her what she's gonna do about it, if anything. Either there's something that can be done or there's no point wasting time worrying about it, it's that simple.

I have "issues" as well, but at least I recognize what power I have over it. I frequently use my power of not giving a fvck and not letting it bother me or anyone around me, usually the problems aren't as big as first predicted. Meaning there's no real consequence to ignoring most perceived issues, but anxiety is basically to make the problem larger than it really is and worry endlessly about something inconsequential.

If you don't want to put all that much effort into it there's always the option of letting her go. Just dropping her and let losing you be the consequence of her self-absorption. Really, I would consider that a valid reason.

 

[Dogbreath]

Sounds like a lovely girl. You're perfect for each other. You two should get married!

Drop her.

lol

 

[Dogbreath]

Okay, so I just went at this chick hard and she was all like "don't judge me, you have no right". I said, "I'm criticizing you on all these complaints that you make endlessly to me". Anyway I am about to end it for good with her.

 

[zinc4]

Just get her to buy you stuff while you listen to her problems and continue to bang until the sex and gifts get boring.

 

[Yewki]

she is no longer giving me what I want or what I need

Well, there ya go. Distance yourself and pursue other options. She'll either come around, or you won't be around.

 

[Dogbreath]

So I finish off BY saying, "you wanna judge me? Then just tell me what a piece of **** I am" -- "you're right I am a piece of ****!" -- "Sorry for being such a piece of **** I guess this means goodbye!". Her: "nice monologue". I start laughing hard because it was a funny ass joke. Her: "Don't talk to me anymore, you insulted me and I don't need this". I'm so nice though!

 

[Tictac]

So I finish off BY saying, "you wanna judge me? Then just tell me what a piece of **** I am" -- "you're right I am a piece of ****!" -- "Sorry for being such a piece of **** I guess this means goodbye!". Her: "nice monologue". I start laughing hard because it was a funny ass joke. Her: "Don't talk to me anymore".

Wow! That went well. Why get all butt hurt? Why EVER call yourself a POS?

 

[Dogbreath]

Wow! That went well. Why get all butt hurt? Why EVER call yourself a POS?

Oh she said that she had never judged me for being in prison for 5 years and I personally hold the belief that this makes me a pos.

 

[Tictac]

Oh she said that she had never judged me for being in prison for 5 years.

Next time, just walk away. Ranting like that is for women.

 

[Dogbreath]

Next time, just walk away. Ranting like that is for women.

I disagree, I think ranting is gender neutral. And I enjoy a good rant.

 

[Tictac]

I enjoy a good rant

More than getting laid?

Enjoy.

 

[Dogbreath]

More than getting laid?

Enjoy.

Depends, Mila Kunis or Yoko Ono?

 

[guru1000]

Oh she said that she had never judged me for being in prison for 5 years and I personally hold the belief that this makes me a pos.

Show me who is perfect.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I've lost count on how many I've met like this. I like to call'em train wrecks. They NEVER get over ANYTHING, after you hit it they think that's a free pass and BAM you are now their "official" emotional tampon. It's cherry before that but YEAH f*ck that ****, next.

I could write a 10page essay but yeah I've got a hockey game to attend to.

Immediate ghost.

 

[Amilz]

Some people build an identity around constantly having problems to overcome. How they relate to others is by talking about their problems and having you listen and acknowledge their problems. It's how they feel seen and how they connect to people. They are not particularly interested in your problems, if you have any. They may give you a quick courtesy listen, if you do, but it's really only till they can divert the conversation back to their problems.

At the deepest level they are not looking for you or your help to solve their problems. If you did, then they'll have to find new ones to use to connect to people. New problems grow like weeds for them. They are never in short supply. Above all, they just want someone willing to listen and acknowledge their problems and how challenging it must be, to be them. They will tell you about the same problem 10,000 times if you let them. Each time, they will tell it like it's the first time and you've never heard it before. Don't sacrifice your valuable time trying to help someone who is busy trying to fill a bottomless hole.

This is not someone who is interested in caring about you, beyond your willingness to acknowledge and listen to their problems. I'd only continue contact if your goal is a quick lay or FWB and you don't mind playing the necessary games to get there. Personally, I'd recommend focusing on being a man with so many options, that you never feel the need or desire to continue interacting with women (or men) like this.

Your time is a limited resource. Spend it with those who add value to your life.

That seems very accurate. I haven't studied psychology much but that makes a lot of sense.