There's no way out

[indisguise]

Hello,
I've been on this forum for a while, mostly for the No Contact thing which I've been keeping for so long.. I think I need help here.

I am 25 years old, I've known a girl for about a year.. I've been in longer and more meaningful relationships before but I'm very troubled with this one..
Truth be told, I loved this girl from the bottom of my heart like I've never loved a girl before. I don't know why but she was quite unique, I believe she loved me even more and that kinda is a part of the problem..

Long story short, things happened and we broke up with no one to blame.. it's just life and not everything goes your way. one thing for sure, there's no way we can work things out. our relationship is over for good..
That was about 6 months ago.. I've known the girl for less than a year, and we've been broken up for 6 months. since then I have kept no contact so I can heal and forget, I played over one million scenarios in my head for things that happened or should happen or things that I should do. Until this day, whatever I do I can't forget that girl.
I even noticed that she's seeing someone. that's fair and I'm very happy for her. it doesn't even bother me that she does.. but why can't I just let the whole thing go?!

I am very successful in my career. My life isn't affected by the breakup even though I had times when I just wanted to die, but I fought through it. My life is great from the perspective of any one who doesn't know my story with that girl. I hang out with friends all the time, I laugh I joke I try to enjoy everything I can. I even met some girls who in return expressed interest in me, some of them are way better than that girl I used to date. but I don't feel anything towards anyone any more.. I don't feel like being with a girl, I think I miss her, but mostly I regret things that happened. I am obsessed with thinking, I overthink the reasons that led to the breakup. things she did; things I did.. I basically can't forget her and that's killing me.
Any thoughts? any advice is appreciated.
Thank you.

 

[yuppee]

you need a change of scenery. Move at least 500 miles, so you're not tempted to go back, not seeing the same friends and places you saw with her.

 

[Tictac]

If you think that there's no way out, you're right.

If you think that there is a way out, that's right too.

 

[Reykhel]

Watch the movie "Swingers".....the character who got dumped by his girlfriend of six years
is moping like you. See yourself in him but in an objective manner.

Doesn't he seem silly acting that way because of one girl? What would you advise him?

You've got to learn to get your head out of the past and into the present......
Read "The Power of Now" and learn to meditate .....mindfulness of meditation...

You could say that meditation is like going to the gym for your mind. You're cultivating keeping
your focus and keeping a state of calm in the present moment and you do this by learning how
to deal with the various distractions which your mind presents to you....

the benefit of meditation comes......"off the mat"

Focus on your goals and your passions. And contribute to your goals on a daily basis. Get obsessed with
contributing to your goals.

Believe me.......she will fade.......but you need to make an effort

 

[hockeyfreak79]

You are still young & fresh out of the gate. 6mo that sounds pretty normal I suppose. It's always the ones that f*ck you over more and you realize you let them do it. I hate to say but it probably won't be the last one. There's quiet a few couple of these in my closet, you'll figure it out & be fine.

A couple years from know you won't even remember what her name was.

This is why broads monkey branch so often, they can't stand the thought of being alone. They send the pain below & suffocate it.

And like Rey said watch Swingers, great cringe worthy movie.

 

[indisguise]

Thank you all, you really lifted my spirit here,

you need a change of scenery. Move at least 500 miles, so you're not tempted to go back, not seeing the same friends and places you saw with her.

Believe me I did, even though I didn't do it for the girl, 4 months ago I had to move to a whole new country because of my job. but It didn't get me out of that mindset.

You are still young & fresh out of the gate. 6mo that sounds pretty normal I suppose. It's always the ones that f*ck you over more and you realize you let them do it. I hate to say but it probably won't be the last one. There's quiet a few couple of these in my closet, you'll figure it out & be fine.

A couple years from know you won't even remember what her name was.

I really needed to know that 6months is normal.

Thanks again guys,

 

[yuppee]

I had one in my head for 30 years. I had gaps of seeing her many years long, but finally, one day, I realized that I hadn't thought of her in several days (normally many times per day) and that I just didnt care about her anymore. Rough ride, tho.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thank you all, you really lifted my spirit here,



Believe me I did, even though I didn't do it for the girl, 4 months ago I had to move to a whole new country because of my job. but It didn't get me out of that mindset.



I really needed to know that 6months is normal.

Thanks again guys,

It really helps if you pass the time with a babe you like and have good sex with. You don't have to be in love either, just some NEW good times.

 

[CMNILS87]

dating for a year or like 6 months and you're heart broken? think back and realize why it didn't workout. Yes she may have been unique and beautiful, but you need to search for another that's like her or better. That's dating. Don't get overly emotionally invested in a girl till marriage, or if you even do that. She moved on and apparently isnt worrying about stuff like this. She wasn't as invested as you

 

[phillies]

Hello,
I've been on this forum for a while, mostly for the No Contact thing which I've been keeping for so long.. I think I need help here.

I am 25 years old, I've known a girl for about a year.. I've been in longer and more meaningful relationships before but I'm very troubled with this one..
Truth be told, I loved this girl from the bottom of my heart like I've never loved a girl before. I don't know why but she was quite unique, I believe she loved me even more and that kinda is a part of the problem..

Long story short, things happened and we broke up with no one to blame.. it's just life and not everything goes your way. one thing for sure, there's no way we can work things out. our relationship is over for good..
That was about 6 months ago.. I've known the girl for less than a year, and we've been broken up for 6 months. since then I have kept no contact so I can heal and forget, I played over one million scenarios in my head for things that happened or should happen or things that I should do. Until this day, whatever I do I can't forget that girl.
I even noticed that she's seeing someone. that's fair and I'm very happy for her. it doesn't even bother me that she does.. but why can't I just let the whole thing go?!

I am very successful in my career. My life isn't affected by the breakup even though I had times when I just wanted to die, but I fought through it. My life is great from the perspective of any one who doesn't know my story with that girl. I hang out with friends all the time, I laugh I joke I try to enjoy everything I can. I even met some girls who in return expressed interest in me, some of them are way better than that girl I used to date. but I don't feel anything towards anyone any more.. I don't feel like being with a girl, I think I miss her, but mostly I regret things that happened. I am obsessed with thinking, I overthink the reasons that led to the breakup. things she did; things I did.. I basically can't forget her and that's killing me.
Any thoughts? any advice is appreciated.
Thank you.

Different people take different amounts of time to get over it. Honestly it probably has something to do with relationships in your childhood.

Some people get over it relatively quick. Some never get over it. But don't sweat it, you'll get over it.

Oh and there is no magic answer on here. You just have to figure it out. The best way is to stop trying to figure it out. Get out and talk to people, socialize. Just go out and do stuff. Anything.

 

[wifehunter]

Video games help me forget about women.

But, so does working.

 

[wifehunter]

Video games help me forget about women.

But, so does working and meeting new women.