“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

120 day sexual healing experiment

AttackFormation

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I don't know what to say. It's so unfortunate that men and woman experience such a chasm between one another. I hope one day, sooner than later, you meet a wonderful woman, or women throughout your life, that support the greatest expression of yourself and bring joy, love, happiness, laughter and amazing sex to your life.

I am trying to navigate my desires and being realistic as well. I am trying to understand how to find a man with whom I deeply connect with, share values, am a better person for knowing, and we laugh lots and have fun, and time together is easy and free flowing, without big drama or expectations, and (if that isn't a tall order already) where we are sexually compatible in our in our level of desire and hopefully experience amazing sex together. The cherry on top would be a man that can also hold the space for my absolute surrender.

I feel like I am not suppose to want all of that. I am not looking to marry. I am looking to be monogamous and commited. I have no idea how to cross paths with such a man, when I read the level of deception played to simply use a woman as a cvm dumpster. I love sex but that does not mean I feel comfortable offering my pvssy as a cvm dumpster because that is the new standard or expectation in getting to know the opposite sex. I know I am generalizing and that sounds harsh. Bear with me...please.

Sex is way more personal and intimate for me than to have with someone I've spent a few hours or days with. I get others are good with that. It doesn't work for me. I am at the other end of the spectrum from being a prude. I have been selective with whom I have had sex with. It's a new market and culture now. It seems that is not acceptable these days (or in this forum) or you're next-ed as not worth a man's time if you are not willing to fVck on the first, second or even third date.

Is it really expected that I am to so quickly and freely and non-chalantly open my pvssy to men that I essentially don't even know yet? I am all for sexual satisfaction. I don't relate to how allowing a man to penetrate and be inside of me, is treated as so meaningless and insignificant. I get that I have different standards and sensitivities. I don't want to be a some random man's masterbatory device as a prerequisite to going out a few times. I am ranting. I am sorry. Let me wrap this up. There is the other side too. I don't want to get so involved in getting to know a man only to realize that we don't connect or match well sexually.

I guess what I want to say is that as much as it feels like you are looking for a needle in a haystack, so do I. I get that is a HUGE generalization. I am just sharing that I also feel frustrated and not sure how to find that needle in a haystack. For me, how do I do that without having to put my pvssy out for random sampling. That's still not my nature. I am here wondering what else might be possible. I'm also not actively looking to partner yet. My focus right now, is coming into an even greater place of wholeness and balance within myself and my life, healing, and upping my own SMV. I have no interest in carrying unfinished business forward into a new relationship. I'm attending to that before I open up and really put myself out there again. That became a whole lot more shared than I expected. Hang in there. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
Okay, let me explain this from my male point of view.

The reasons why this cvm dumpster deception exists stems from the reason why men don't want to commit to loose women, if they can choose. That reason can be explained through primal biology, but to keep this from being even longer, it's a gut feeling. It's an instinct. There is nothing that "teaches" men to feel that way and no "teaching" will make it go away, although there are ways to deal with it. That clear? all right. The problem for men is that we cannot know a woman's past behaviour and we cannot know whether she is lying about her past behaviour, while at the same time we need to know, so that we are not "tricked" by a woman. Women know that we are trying to avoid making a bad deal/being cheated/tricked, so they perfect the art of lying to men and many women will rationalize their own lies to avoid cognitive dissonance (ie. a bad conscience). They do this in a variety of ways. They can say that men "should" feel the way she (the feminine imperative) wants him to, they can say it's "better for him", whatever will justify her deception. Men today are I think slowly, increasingly aware that what women present themselves as to you will depend on what she wants from you, and what she can get from you.

This is not a problem if you can rely on her being "innocent", by which is meant that she has not already given herself willingly to another man. Most men however are fine with her doing so because we 1) understand that women want to have sex too and that it's fun, we actually don't want to oppress women unlike what feminism says, and 2) if she still has her highest emotion (read Desdinova's high score theory) available to us, then the best of her is still effectively unspoilt. The problem today however is that women have been let loose completely, and give themselves out like wh0res. Maybe not to you, but we know that at least some guys had enough looks, money, status, and/or good game for her to be no better than a wh0re with him. She makes it easy and compromises her integrity, her character, for the guys she really wants. We don't want to be the one pretending to have something "special" with a woman like that. We feel like suckers. But we know that women do what they can to try to present themselves and lie to us as if they "are not like that", even though we know that they are. It can also actually be in her interest to reinforce that other women ARE like that because it makes her seem more unique and desirable if we buy her lie. This makes us not only reluctant to commit to and invest emotionally in them, but also reluctant to trust them at all.

When you combine this with the steady diet of lies men have grown up on, men can turn resentful. We are made to believe a lot of things about women and gender relations that are lies. Men invest themselves in the blue pill, and then find out that the ideals and beliefs they stood up for were deliberate falsehoods. Most men would not have a problem taking a genuine, honest, loyal woman who has had sexual experience with men she held up to the same standard as you, and this is what blue pill men believe women are and do, but we know they are not and don't.

In the end, it shifts men's approach. Now we arrive at the answer you are seeking. Instead of presuming innocence until proven guilt, we presume guilt until proven innocence. The catch of course being that we both have no way to prove their "innocence" and that we know they both want us to believe they are "innocent" and do what they can to trick us into thinking they are (I put citation marks because I mean in terms of the metaphor, not in terms of virginity which as I said before most men don't require, and indeed in the red pill we have debunked the idea that just because a woman is a virgin she is not or could not turn into the way other women are. We wouldn't trade honesty, loyalty and integrity for virginity and we can live with not having the latter, especially if we like the other woman more). If she has fvcked on the first date before, why should I respect that she's "not that kind of girl"? If she had a drunk ONS before, why should I take her seriously now? If she felt so strongly for someone before that she wanted to fvck him immediately despite claiming shes "not that kind of girl", how comes she doesn't feel that with me? If she's "not looking for a hook up", why does she have pictures that are basically strip teases? If she used to be a party girl but wants something serious now, why should I be the guy who can't fvck her like she let the other guys do "for fun", but have to pretend that this is "genuine" and "special"? and so on.

We have a (unfortunately very well-justified today, which is why we think about it so much) paranoia that we are making ourself into the fool. Like I said before though men can deal with this, and there are basically three ways they do: They are blue pill and deny their own gut feeling, or that "their girl is like that". They are red pill and try to find a needle in a haystack, and risk that it is actually not a needle but a well-camouflaged hay. Or they are red pill and to various degrees don't invest emotionally in women. Women themselves create and support this environment (contrary to what women believe or perhaps rather want to pass it off as, that it's mens' fault - which it of course is, if you have the perspective that feminism was a sh!t test that men have utterly failed). Another thing is the "notch count", which is a status competition among men (we know that fvcking a lot of women = women apparently desire you because you get them) and women (women respect and desire men who other women want and men who have status, this is what causes it to be the mentioned status competition among males) and a way to mitigate ending up with a promiscuous woman as we can then have greater "accomplishment", thus feeling like less of a sucker. Most men actually don't want it to be this way but we are forced to accept it because women have made it so.

What can you do? Understand his perspective. Then actively bring up and communicate with him about his perspective, let him talk. Then be honest to him about whatever he wants to know. That's option one. Option two is you can do like most women and lie in whatever way feels most comfortable to you that so you maximize the odds of getting your needs met.



Hope I helped.
 
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AttackFormation

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Coming home today, i felt i was hallucinating when i stepped into the hallway. My mind saw the kind of girl i want walking toward me, welcoming me home. Just the specifications i like. Whats my mind doing? Is this a motivation? It should know how rare those girls are here. I hope it goes away after i fvck my sex buddy... shes not really what i want. But she will help me get my sex drive under control. Just a few more days, and then her pills have taken effect...

This last interchange was gold
Glad you liked it.
 

AttackFormation

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AttackFormation

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Update. Im resisting watching some videos and pictures. I want to sooo bad, but thats why i know i must not. No fap and no porn going fine. I thought today was the end of my dry spell, but she said she felt feverish. I just didnt reply, not worth my time.

Gonna hit the dojo, then go home and watch mma until its time to sleep. I need to meet new girls... but dont know how.

... She rested and now "feels fine". I guess i passed the sh!t test... gonna "read" it and then not reply for a couple of hours to be on the safe side with her hamster... im so tired of "adapting" to womens infantile bs so you can progress with them. But i still need to meet new girls...
 
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Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Lozboss

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Late to this Attack but good luck brother.

I'm joining you starting tomorrow (Monday 29th Feb 2016) with the aim to complete March then hopefully April then May. Month at a time.

In it together brother. Make sure you get onto reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/ and get signed up to the march challenge.

PM bro if you need someone to keep you accountable, happy to share my whatsapp.
 

AttackFormation

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Late to this Attack but good luck brother.

I'm joining you starting tomorrow (Monday 29th Feb 2016) with the aim to complete March then hopefully April then May. Month at a time.

In it together brother. Make sure you get onto reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/ and get signed up to the march challenge.

PM bro if you need someone to keep you accountable, happy to share my whatsapp.
Welcome on it bro. It's tough mentally unless you have someone to have good sex with while doing it, but that's how you know you need to keep at it. We're not in it because it's easy.
 

Colossus

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Okay, let me explain this from my male point of view.

The reasons why this cvm dumpster deception exists stems from the reason why men don't want to commit to loose women, if they can choose. That reason can be explained through primal biology, but to keep this from being even longer, it's a gut feeling. It's an instinct. There is nothing that "teaches" men to feel that way and no "teaching" will make it go away, although there are ways to deal with it. That clear? all right. The problem for men is that we cannot know a woman's past behaviour and we cannot know whether she is lying about her past behaviour, while at the same time we need to know, so that we are not "tricked" by a woman. Women know that we are trying to avoid making a bad deal/being cheated/tricked, so they perfect the art of lying to men and many women will rationalize their own lies to avoid cognitive dissonance (ie. a bad conscience). They do this in a variety of ways. They can say that men "should" feel the way she (the feminine imperative) wants him to, they can say it's "better for him", whatever will justify her deception. Men today are I think slowly, increasingly aware that what women present themselves as to you will depend on what she wants from you, and what she can get from you.

This is not a problem if you can rely on her being "innocent", by which is meant that she has not already given herself willingly to another man. Most men however are fine with her doing so because we 1) understand that women want to have sex too and that it's fun, we actually don't want to oppress women unlike what feminism says, and 2) if she still has her highest emotion (read Desdinova's high score theory) available to us, then the best of her is still effectively unspoilt. The problem today however is that women have been let loose completely, and give themselves out like wh0res. Maybe not to you, but we know that at least some guys had enough looks, money, status, and/or good game for her to be no better than a wh0re with him. She makes it easy and compromises her integrity, her character, for the guys she really wants. We don't want to be the one pretending to have something "special" with a woman like that. We feel like suckers. But we know that women do what they can to try to present themselves and lie to us as if they "are not like that", even though we know that they are. It can also actually be in her interest to reinforce that other women ARE like that because it makes her seem more unique and desirable if we buy her lie. This makes us not only reluctant to commit to and invest emotionally in them, but also reluctant to trust them at all.

When you combine this with the steady diet of lies men have grown up on, men can turn resentful. We are made to believe a lot of things about women and gender relations that are lies. Men invest themselves in the blue pill, and then find out that the ideals and beliefs they stood up for were deliberate falsehoods. Most men would not have a problem taking a genuine, honest, loyal woman who has had sexual experience with men she held up to the same standard as you, and this is what blue pill men believe women are and do, but we know they are not and don't.

In the end, it shifts men's approach. Now we arrive at the answer you are seeking. Instead of presuming innocence until proven guilt, we presume guilt until proven innocence. The catch of course being that we both have no way to prove their "innocence" and that we know they both want us to believe they are "innocent" and do what they can to trick us into thinking they are (I put citation marks because I mean in terms of the metaphor, not in terms of virginity which as I said before most men don't require, and indeed in the red pill we have debunked the idea that just because a woman is a virgin she is not or could not turn into the way other women are. We wouldn't trade honesty, loyalty and integrity for virginity and we can live with not having the latter, especially if we like the other woman more). If she has fvcked on the first date before, why should I respect that she's "not that kind of girl"? If she had a drunk ONS before, why should I take her seriously now? If she felt so strongly for someone before that she wanted to fvck him immediately despite claiming shes "not that kind of girl", how comes she doesn't feel that with me? If she's "not looking for a hook up", why does she have pictures that are basically strip teases? If she used to be a party girl but wants something serious now, why should I be the guy who can't fvck her like she let the other guys do "for fun", but have to pretend that this is "genuine" and "special"? and so on.

We have a (unfortunately very well-justified today, which is why we think about it so much) paranoia that we are making ourself into the fool. Like I said before though men can deal with this, and there are basically three ways they do: They are blue pill and deny their own gut feeling, or that "their girl is like that". They are red pill and try to find a needle in a haystack, and risk that it is actually not a needle but a well-camouflaged hay. Or they are red pill and to various degrees don't invest emotionally in women. Women themselves create and support this environment (contrary to what women believe or perhaps rather want to pass it off as, that it's mens' fault - which it of course is, if you have the perspective that feminism was a sh!t test that men have utterly failed). Another thing is the "notch count", which is a status competition among men (we know that fvcking a lot of women = women apparently desire you because you get them) and women (women respect and desire men who other women want and men who have status, this is what causes it to be the mentioned status competition among males) and a way to mitigate ending up with a promiscuous woman as we can then have greater "accomplishment", thus feeling like less of a sucker. Most men actually don't want it to be this way but we are forced to accept it because women have made it so.

What can you do? Understand his perspective. Then actively bring up and communicate with him about his perspective, let him talk. Then be honest to him about whatever he wants to know. That's option one. Option two is you can do like most women and lie in whatever way feels most comfortable to you that so you maximize the odds of getting your needs met.



Hope I helped.
Some very cogent points in this post. Many men are well into their 30's and 40's before they understand some of these truths.

If there is one thing I have learned from all my dating, lays, failures and successes, and now marriage, it's that chastity is a special thing. Indeed, a treasure.

Every woman alive wants to be cherished and held special, but the problem is they often feel entitled to this irregardless of their past behaviors. Feminine deception is something that has evolved to not only propagate the species but to give women a perpetual "new lease" on feeling and being held a special by a man.

I don't mean to intimate that a woman loses value as a human being with increasing partners, but she does lose the ability to bond and the capacity for loyalty in a very linear fashion. The "essence" of a female, if you will, is diluted: the intangible aspects of her beauty, her naivety, her trust, and the purity of her emotional landscape. Virginity is a gift. She can only give it once, and never give it again.

For the record, I think men also lose some bonding capacity with increasing partners, but to a much lesser magnitude. Our software is different.

I made this list before I met my wife, and I still stand by it to this day. It's worth more than all the prenuptial agreements money can buy:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/10-things-to-look-for-in-a-wife.207428/

It's offensive if you are over 40 or have been married, but I wrote it for younger men. Exceptions have to be made in later adulthood.
 

mrgoodstuff

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You have more control than me. I would say yes and pull out, but maybe that's because I'm 18 and my hormones are through the roof.

I started talking a test booster for more gains, and the first 5 days or so (along with ZMA) I was wanting to sleep all day. At work I could barely function as my eyes were so heavy. My theory for fatigue from no fap is that your testosterone levels are rising, which takes more energy from your body to produce it. This makes us more tired. However once we get used to this increase in testosterone, our energy levels go back to normal or slightly higher.

The only reason I don't practice no fap is because of the wet dreams. I hate that sh!t. I have to get up at 4 am and clean up, which pisses me off. Then I'm not able to get back to sleep which pisses me off more.
Get some pvssy.
 

AttackFormation

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Update. It's been a little more than a month now. I'm still really horny but it kinda gives out because I/my brain knows I'm not gonna have sex any time soon, so there really is no point in obsessing over it. In that regard I feel like I have some control.

I fvcked several times during this span but it made no difference because she's boring as both a person and in bed; it didn't help at all, as soon as I came in her I wanted to get the h3ll out of there, and I've gotten rid of her. Another girl kind of reached out to me after I texted her last month, but I don't really care about seeing her again. I keep telling myself I dumped her last time for a reason and it's never turned out well to go back to people I got rid of at one point, and that I don't really want her anyway.

Just want this god damn flu to pass so I can get back to training...
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

AttackFormation

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Well what do you know. I found a slut. Too bad she's only here for a week.
 

Building_and_Loan

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Also going through this, and it's now been roughly over 4 weeks since I fapped last. Also haven't had sex since New Year's which sucks, but I did turn down a sure thing over the weekend with a girl I know I would have regretted it with right after I banged her.

I feel like i would have somewhat negated my progress haha, can't stop now. Mostly I just want to cut out porn altogether. I still look at images on The Chive app sometimes but anything hardcore streaming is off-limits.

The hardest part is there's this really hot college girl interning in my office this semester, and she's definitely dtf. We talk and joke a lot, she's really cool but I'm not going for it because it's a really small office and not a good idea, but man the other day she was in my cubicle to use my printer, and she's slightly bent over with this amazing ass in tight black pants pushed up close to me, I seriously had to use some major willpower to keep from just grabbing her haha. The old me would have gotten so horny I probably would have gone home and just fapped to porn and went on my way, but I have to redirect that time and energy into meeting new girls now.

Maybe I'll make a move on her during her last week here which is sometime next month.
 

AttackFormation

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Update. That slut who was here for a week never met up, she just dirty talked and sent me a bunch of photos and videos. I would probably have gotten it if I wasn't sick when she came here, couldn't strike while the anvil was hot. It still fvcks with my head though that these girls seem to like and be content with ONS and even just sending pics, videos and dirty talk. They just want to be wh0res. If that's what they want then that's what they want, it's just something my brain is still adjusting to in practice even though I've known it in theory for a while. Funnily this one said she was technically a virgin, she'd been penetrated with toys by her ex-gf but never a guy but she had an "oral fixation" so I was going to get a bj. Oh well haha.

I want to be in the game. Fvck droughts. I'm missing out on all the sex I know I could be having, women just want to wh0re around and I'm sitting here missing out on it... but again I don't think there's a realistic solution to it right now based on my skills and interests.

On the progress, by now I don't even have to resist wanking. Sure I would still like to do it, but I don't feel a pressing urge. I think I may have fixed the mental wiring or at least come a good way in doing so. My d1ck works much better now, it really did have an effect - a very good one. So I'm keeping it up.

Also going through this, and it's now been roughly over 4 weeks since I fapped last. Also haven't had sex since New Year's which sucks, but I did turn down a sure thing over the weekend with a girl I know I would have regretted it with right after I banged her.
I quickly came to the conclusion that it's better to abstain than have sex with a girl you want to get away from the moment your cvm leaves you.
 
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Building_and_Loan

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I quickly came to the conclusion that it's better to abstain than have sex with a girl you want to get away from the moment your cvm leaves you.
Yeah no amount of horniness or wanting to end a dry spell is ever enough to justify that terrible feeling when a girl you don't like is laying next to you after you've hooked up. The only thing I do is try to get horned up again so I can at least get another round in, but by then it's impossible because I'm already mentally repulsed too much.
 

AttackFormation

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Yeah no amount of horniness or wanting to end a dry spell is ever enough to justify that terrible feeling when a girl you don't like is laying next to you after you've hooked up. The only thing I do is try to get horned up again so I can at least get another round in, but by then it's impossible because I'm already mentally repulsed too much.
Speaking of horniness... I can't concentrate on anything for long unless it's a physical exertion. Right now I'm trying to keep studying but I can't take anything in because my brain is so compulsed by sex that it agitates me and makes me unable to focus. It's a state of constant craving...
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

mrgoodstuff

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Speaking of horniness... I can't concentrate on anything for long unless it's a physical exertion. Right now I'm trying to keep studying but I can't take anything in because my brain is so compulsed by sex that it agitates me and makes me unable to focus. It's a state of constant craving...
You gotta do something about it. Actual sex reduces anxiety and also stress levels. It also boosts your overall confidence.
 

AttackFormation

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You gotta do something about it. Actual sex reduces anxiety and also stress levels. It also boosts your overall confidence.
Well the way I see it now I have these options:

#1 - Hit on my new neighbour. I've been trying to, but she's never been home when I've knocked despite us meeting several times in the elevator and saying I can/should come over.

#2 - Hit on girls at random in day to day life. The problem is that this country is bent toward the anti-social; women here don't want to be approached in this way. They want you to reach them through already knowing them in some way, but I don't have a social circle I hang out with.

#3 - Take up OLD again. I've been using it for years with miserable results and from the little "expedition" I did a couple of weeks ago to see if it got any better, it's still that way.

#4 - Start going out. This goes against the ideas we promote here of doing things because you think they're fun and add value to your life and not just because you're desperate to get laid. I could elaborate but in short I'm not fond of going out for a number of reasons. Also, I don't really have any friends to go out with, which wouldn't be a problem if there was something I enjoyed doing in clubs for its own sake - but there isn't.

#5 - Hit on girls in the gym and dojo. The gym suffers from the same problem as day to day life. I've still tried it there but they all had boyfriends, 2/3 of which I know for a fact it was the case with the third unconfirmed. One of them even showed me the social media post she made that said how I'd made her day when I hit on her but that she has a boyfriend she's happy with or something, one year later when I met her on the subway. The dojo is much better in that regard but there are barely any girls there and I don't even want to fvck any of them. If there were plenty of girls in the dojo it would be a great place for game since you are pretty much "warm" there but sadly there is not.

#6 - Hit on girls in the activities I have on my perimeter. I think the common denominator here is you need to go regularly for a while so you become "warm" to the girls, and there needs to be girls who are single and looking there in the first place. Could work I guess. I've been to an acting & improv class, I want to take some dance classes, and I'm also going to yoga & meditation but flu has stopped me the last couple of weeks.

So options 1 and 6 I feel are the most viable to me. I could see option 4 working if: I manage to bring my buddy with me out at all, I find the right spots where the gender ratio is good, and it doesn't become so boring that I can't stand it (which is up to me! gotta hit on the girls or move to another bar).
 
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Building_and_Loan

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Speaking of horniness... I can't concentrate on anything for long unless it's a physical exertion. Right now I'm trying to keep studying but I can't take anything in because my brain is so compulsed by sex that it agitates me and makes me unable to focus. It's a state of constant craving...
Man I know how you feel. I'm 6 weeks in now, and some days/weeks are totally fine and I don't think about sex hardly at all.

But some days, especially the last 2, have been almost unbearable. Especially because I went out with friends last night and girls were swarming, as it's getting warmer outside. I wanted to chat up this table of girls next to us, but I couldn't because at the time it was me, a buddy of mine, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's best friend. They're kind of trying to set me up with her but I'm not interested, as I know for a fact she would be super clingy and she's not all that attractive. I can't afford to even have her be a streak-buster haha.

So it was pretty much torture seeing all these single girls last night, some even giving me interested looks, but knowing I couldn't approach for fear of being seen as a complete a**hole by my buddy and his gf.

That, combined with the college girl intern at my office becoming increasingly flirtatious and wanting to hang out, is really testing my self-control. Man, the next girl I fvck is going to absolutely get destroyed. I think I may just go for the intern at my office, it may not be such a bad idea, who knows. She is very attractive, so it may in fact be worth it lol.
 
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