kenpiffyjr
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 3, 2011
- Messages
- 265
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- 146
Dude, you reek of Oneitis thru your post. Fall back!
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Wants to be just friends. What should I say?
- Thread starter casanova_goat
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
marmel75
Master Don Juan
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- Jan 4, 2012
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- 7,175
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- 5,571
I'd tell her "Yes, as soon as I delete your number I will be cool with it."
casanova_goat
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 200
- Reaction score
- 30
"I said no I'm not mad i was out to dinner with my mom" and she said "Oh, okay. I'm glad you're not mad."
Ok....use my advice here...time to mind **** her..
Send another text saying:
actually, I feel a huge sense of relief, I felt like we were more suitable as friends from the beginning...tried to ignore the feeling and push for more because you are so nice, but the chemistry just isn't there, I'm just glad we feel the same way, thanks!!!
Send another text saying:
actually, I feel a huge sense of relief, I felt like we were more suitable as friends from the beginning...tried to ignore the feeling and push for more because you are so nice, but the chemistry just isn't there, I'm just glad we feel the same way, thanks!!!
GeniuzKhrist
Don Juan
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- Mar 2, 2016
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- 63
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- 49
- Age
- 37
How about no, don't ****ing say anything. Move on, nothing to see here. This thing with this girl is no longer about words in a text convo, it is now only to be based off actions. You will find out in the coming days if she really meant wht she said. If you want the power back then have the power to walk away and never look back for anything less than what you want.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
kenpiffyjr
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 3, 2011
- Messages
- 265
- Reaction score
- 146
Maximus Rex
Banned
So you hit that thang and f*cked around and caught feelings. SMH.
Can't Be Friends-Trey Songz
Locked Out of Heaven-Bruno Mars
Hotline Bling-Drake (William Singe Cover)
No, say it and then go ghost.
He should at least take some of her ego boost away. That's why these women are so out of control.
Knock her down a few pegs OP physcologically and then disappear.
You are literally making the world a better place by doing this.
casanova_goat
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 200
- Reaction score
- 30
I'd like to say something to that effect but I doubt she'll buy into it. She'd probably come back with "dude, you have the worst affliction of oneitis I have ever seen. Don't give me that ****" Well maybe not that but you know it's what she'll be thinking.
I tussled with the idea of saying something like, "it actually may be for the better we are friends. I have kind of been seeing this intern at work for the past two weeks."
I tussled with the idea of saying something like, "it actually may be for the better we are friends. I have kind of been seeing this intern at work for the past two weeks."
stevo
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2014
- Messages
- 600
- Reaction score
- 250
It's funny how you ask for what to do then venture off to do something else.
Next time, when a girl sends you the LJBF text, your response is, NO RESPONSE.
You dont respond, you dont engage.
If she hits you up some other time in the future, you respond with "Lmk when next you're free to meet".
Ignore every other unnecessary sheet they send you whenever they have hormone fluctuations.
As of right now, you've done enough damage, delete number and stop responding.
Put a fork in this one, move the fcuk on.
Next time, when a girl sends you the LJBF text, your response is, NO RESPONSE.
You dont respond, you dont engage.
If she hits you up some other time in the future, you respond with "Lmk when next you're free to meet".
Ignore every other unnecessary sheet they send you whenever they have hormone fluctuations.
As of right now, you've done enough damage, delete number and stop responding.
Put a fork in this one, move the fcuk on.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
casanova_goat
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 200
- Reaction score
- 30
What of my post reeked of oneitis? Though I hate the word, I probably suffer from the definition of it.
However, at this point, I have completely accepted the fact she and I will not be anything serious.
Still, there's more to this. I hate to say it but I have very little sexual experience. Part of the reason is where I live, last night I went out in the city (I am home for my Mom's birthday) and nearly had sex with a chick in a unisex bathroom stall at a club. She pulled her panties down and I fingered her, not wanting to have sex with her without protection: ie, I don't want a lasting souvenir on my phallus or an illegitimate child chasing me around the world in 20 years.
Why I say this is, oneitis is endemic to where one lives. If you live somewhere without many options, you tend to become more attached to ones you connect with.
Given my dearth of sexual experience, I would really like to play this so I can keep her around as a "plate" as you guys say. She claimed the sex was really great but apparently I scared her off.
I still get the impression this girl would sleep with me (and Lord knows I could use the experience), she just doesn't want to be "emotionally entangled."
I'd like to become mysterious, regain frame, and hit it again.
Before, I was tempted to say, "I thought sex was a provision of our friendship?"
casanova_goat
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 200
- Reaction score
- 30
Everything I've said has been what others have told me to say. How did I venture off?
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
OP- why you bothering to text Her AT ALL at this point?
As soon as she hit you with the LJBF (let's just be friends) then you go ghost. No 'OK', no 'its cool'.
Why you wasting your time? She doesn't want anything but you being a BETA orbiter.
Stop deluding yourself that she wants a Friends with Benefits thing.
As soon as she hit you with the LJBF (let's just be friends) then you go ghost. No 'OK', no 'its cool'.
Why you wasting your time? She doesn't want anything but you being a BETA orbiter.
Stop deluding yourself that she wants a Friends with Benefits thing.
casanova_goat
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 200
- Reaction score
- 30
Well we had sex already and she's spoken of having sex since then. She is just an hour and a half away so it didn't come to fruition.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
Bluepill delusions. Wake up
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
When a woman tries to FZ you then the only thing you can gain from this is that at the moment you are NOT her top priority. There really is nothing you can do about this. Anything you try to do to change this will only make you look weak.
When a woman says she just wants to be friends, just tell her "Okay, no problem, you know how to reach me if you change your mind, if I'm still available, maybe we can hook up again."
Then just walk away and never reach out to her again. Go date other women and just stop thinking about her.
OP what you are doing at this point is attempting to rationalize her behavior, and trying to figure out what you can do to change the dynamic. We have all been there in some shape or form. There is nothing you can do, you are wasting your time. You can't "DO" anything because women do not make rational decisions which can be solved with objective action.
If she likes you I promise she will reach out to you.... they ALWAYS do, IF THEY LIKE you. If she never comes back, GOOD, she missed her ride on the fun train. Remember, women need men, we do not need them. Sure we want them, but you do not need a woman. Just go and be the best person you can be and only go after women that show you interest.
When a woman says she just wants to be friends, just tell her "Okay, no problem, you know how to reach me if you change your mind, if I'm still available, maybe we can hook up again."
Then just walk away and never reach out to her again. Go date other women and just stop thinking about her.
OP what you are doing at this point is attempting to rationalize her behavior, and trying to figure out what you can do to change the dynamic. We have all been there in some shape or form. There is nothing you can do, you are wasting your time. You can't "DO" anything because women do not make rational decisions which can be solved with objective action.
If she likes you I promise she will reach out to you.... they ALWAYS do, IF THEY LIKE you. If she never comes back, GOOD, she missed her ride on the fun train. Remember, women need men, we do not need them. Sure we want them, but you do not need a woman. Just go and be the best person you can be and only go after women that show you interest.
LiveFreeX
Banned
Ok, I'm going to Thailand, cya.
Send her a post card of THIS:
6:43
Send her a post card of THIS:
6:43
Igetit!
Moderator
If this is the same chick from his last thread,this one here..... http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/any-hope-with-this-chick-how-should-i-proceed.232605/
...then I 100% agree with Kenpiffy.
He was told straight out before that if he couldn't recognize HIS OWN errors by going back and reading what he wrote,then he might as well just forget the chick altogether cause he'd be unknowingly and unintentionally screwing up and making mistakes with this girl.....DESPITE all the excellent advice he was given.
Or to put it another way,until he looks in the mirrior first for solutions,it won't matter what advice he gets here.
It ain't the girl dude..it's YOU.
Stop trying to put a band-aid on a bullet wound.
salinechow
Senior Don Juan
This is the clearest indication possible of why one should not text much. Totally lost the attraction you once had. You were avail. Lower value when you are to abundant. You are coal instead of a diamond. And you were probably boring at that,or, at least understimulating, unpolarized, and acted, just like a friend. So....that's what you got.
She wants a relationship, and sex, and probably casual sex, and hand holding, and caressing, and naked massages. She just doesn't want them from you, anymore. You didnt make her feel feminine, desired, or stimulated by dreaming about what you were like. You made her think of you as a buddy. Easy to hold and pet. Nothing to earn. Boring.
Cause you know what, texting in and of itself is boring as f^ck. You have to be a real casanova, like top %5 of guys that "get it" to really make texting work. And the first step that those guys understand is quality, stimulating, and sparse as all hell texts. You dont use her tools my friend, you use yours. Lesson learned.
Verdict. Done. Gone. Next.
If you really want, use her as a lesson plan. Call her up in a few weeks and tell her you just thought of that night you f^cked her and thought you still had some unfinished business. She'll say (if she answers) "o yeah, like what." Tell her youll have to show her. And book a wine date at one of your places. Long shot, but it might work. And, it will be good practice. Otherwise. Sigh, and forget about her forever. Its your own fault, but you only slept with her once anyway so it shouldn't be that hard.
Next time, Carpe diem.
She wants a relationship, and sex, and probably casual sex, and hand holding, and caressing, and naked massages. She just doesn't want them from you, anymore. You didnt make her feel feminine, desired, or stimulated by dreaming about what you were like. You made her think of you as a buddy. Easy to hold and pet. Nothing to earn. Boring.
Cause you know what, texting in and of itself is boring as f^ck. You have to be a real casanova, like top %5 of guys that "get it" to really make texting work. And the first step that those guys understand is quality, stimulating, and sparse as all hell texts. You dont use her tools my friend, you use yours. Lesson learned.
Verdict. Done. Gone. Next.
If you really want, use her as a lesson plan. Call her up in a few weeks and tell her you just thought of that night you f^cked her and thought you still had some unfinished business. She'll say (if she answers) "o yeah, like what." Tell her youll have to show her. And book a wine date at one of your places. Long shot, but it might work. And, it will be good practice. Otherwise. Sigh, and forget about her forever. Its your own fault, but you only slept with her once anyway so it shouldn't be that hard.
Next time, Carpe diem.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.