Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Thoughts on this text game and situation?

captain55

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I've been chasing this chick for about a month now. She cut things off with me about a week after a successful third date when I went ghost for a few days (no not ignoring her) she said she doesn't see how we could be more than friends because I live too far and its making it difficult to become close."

The reason I stopped blowing up her phone is because in my experience Building too much comfort is not a good thing after you have already met up with the chick. I like my texts to be short and to have some sort of value (the only time I would text her would be when I wanted to arrange a date) This has always worked for me in the past, why isn't it working with her?



This was our last conversation...
she texts me out of the blue with a pair of shoes saying "I want these shoes so bad but they're 200 ):"
me "Im sure that guy with the yacht will buy them for you" (when we first started talking she was trying to impress me bragging about all these rich guys being after her)
her "lol...Mike wtf. I told you I don't talk to him anymore"
me "Im just messing with you, nice shoes"
her "I Want them. Buy them for me. (she thens throws in a princess emoji) jk jk"
me "haha. so what are you doing this Friday night?"
her "Ummmmmm idk"
me " Lets do a bonfire at the beach and maybe dinner after, I'll pick you up at 7?"

I feel like she was testing me to see if I would offer to buy her the shoes. I passed the test and I still don't get the date wtf?

No response for two days, I told myself I'm not going to text her until she contacts me. Any advice from the vets here? Yes I am still talking to other girls and its helping a little but I would like to bang her at least.

She is a few years older than me (I'm 23) and she said she would never date a 23 year old because she needs a family and stability and Im too horny and wild for her. Of course she ended up going out with me a week later lol.

IDK...any advice from the vets is appreciated.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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captain55

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This is where I stopped reading. What do YOU think you were doing wrong?
Well whats my other option stop talking to her?

. Here is what I was gonna text her "Ashley look I know your hesitant to get involved with me because of my age, but meet up with me and lets hookup. If I don't have the biggest **** of any guy you've ever been with I'll give you the cash for the shoes on the spot and you can slap me for wasting your time and never talk to me again. I know one night stands aren't your thing but Ill make it worth your while "

lol...thats the only real option I have here at this point.
 

Von

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If you can't afford 200$ shoes, you don't match her criteria.

However, let me know where you find her so I know where to look cause 200$ shoes for a woman is not expensive at all :p (i need more like that)

You also talked about an ''ex''
 

captain55

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Absolutely. She's a gold digger.

Please don't send that text if you actually want a shot with her in the future. If you want to swing for the fences, hell, go for it. But you'll ruin your chance later on. I would just go ghost and wait for her to hit you up when she's drunk, or running low on prospects, etc. You will get laid then, and probably more than once.
Your probably right. It's funny on the second date she told me dated this guy worth 15 million and he lost everything. He ended things with her because he felt like he couldn't give her the life she wanted and she said she didn't care about the money. Im thinking to myself then why the **** were you out with a guy worth 15 million haha.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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captain55

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If you can't afford 200$ shoes, you don't match her criteria.

However, let me know where you find her so I know where to look cause 200$ shoes for a woman is not expensive at all :p (i need more like that)

You also talked about an ''ex''

It is not about who can "afford" her requests and whims.

It is what man can she manipulate for her financial benefit. It has nothing to do with caring for any man, just his resources that she can use.
but wouldn't buying her the shoes make me LESS attractive to her? It would be different if she was having sex with me or was at the very least making time for me but she hasn't. I feel like she would view me as a chump.
 

captain55

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Fellas I have oneititus here talking to other women is just a distraction at this point. "Honestly Ashley I wish I had more women that only wanted $200 shoes. I don't feel like your high maintenance at all compared to some of the stuck up princesses and gold diggers I've dated. The issue is we never see each other. "
 

captain55

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This woman wants a man she can control. She wants a man who will gladly spend his resources to keep her and keep her happy. She wants a man she can manipulate. To use your words, she wants a chump.
I don't care as long as I get to **** her She's a solid 8.5 questionable 9.....if she was even an 8 I wouldn't be making such a fool out of myself with this thread.
 

kronreiff

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If she wants to trade her "million dollar patch" for shoes, regardless of price, then she's a ho on a mission. In time, you'll be buying her a Vette just for her approval and sex. You're getting big time "oneitis over this chick and you know how that plays out.
 

Speculator E

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There is so many things wrong with your text. I dont have the time to give an explaination but the common theme is you can't say no or put your foot down.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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captain55

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There is so many things wrong with your text. I dont have the time to give an explaination but the common theme is you can't say no or put your foot down.
I did put my foot down. Now she's ignoring me because she felt like I dissed her with not agreeing to buy her the shoes the attitude was obvious
 

captain55

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If she wants to trade her "million dollar patch" for shoes, regardless of price, then she's a ho on a mission. In time, you'll be buying her a Vette just for her approval and sex. You're getting big time "oneitis over this chick and you know how that plays out.
I don't care I just wanna bang her once
 

captain55

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Absolutely. She's a gold digger.

Please don't send that text if you actually want a shot with her in the future. If you want to swing for the fences, hell, go for it. But you'll ruin your chance later on. I would just go ghost and wait for her to hit you up when she's drunk, or running low on prospects, etc. You will get laid then, and probably more than once.
hope so
 

Speculator E

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Uh no. You don't put your foot down and then try and ask her for a date. Gold digger or not it's a common $hit test for girl to ask you to buy anything. The only response you neeed was No Nope No way. A lot of guys here thinks being flirty is putting your foot down. It'a not. A sociopathic alpha male would get mad.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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kronreiff

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I don't care I just wanna bang her once
And that my fellow DJ is your problem and eventual demise with this ho. There are over 3 billion "pelts" on this planet, why is this one so different to you? Because you can't have her and she feels it like a strong wind. Re scramble your mental eggs and get a grip.
 

Lozboss

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I've been chasing this chick for about a month now.

she said she doesn't see how we could be more than friends because I live too far and its making it difficult to become close."
1. What? One month?

2. YOU LIVE TOO FAR? Why are you long distance dating?

I'm fed up with seeing people long distance dating. It's screams of having no options.

http://therationalmale.com/tag/long-distance-relationships/

read and educate yourself.

In summary- delete her from your life.
 

fastlife

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This woman wants a man she can control. She wants a man who will gladly spend his resources to keep her and keep her happy. She wants a man she can manipulate. To use your words, she wants a chump.
Almost, but not quite. She's defaulting to beta game--she wants betas who will buy her ****, etc.--and she's treating OP that way, because what else could he possibly be in this situation?

Orbiting for a month--Check
3 Dates, a "successful" third date that doesn't include sex--Check
Long Distance--Check
Couple Years Older (default big sister frame)--Check

Honestly, I think she saw OP as a solid hookup (looking at all the factors, why else would she bother with him?). But then OP failed to even try and hookup with her. His chance to **** her is gone, $200 shoes or no; his chance to **** her was 3 dates ago. So what's she supposed to do with him at this point? Well, he won't hook up with her but he might be good for shoes...lol. She even made it clear to OP the type of guys who get that treatment from her. She held up a flag saying, Don't be that guy, take me to bed. But OP decided that those were the guys he was 'competing' with on their terms; and now he's on their terms and doesn't even have the wallet-size to make a great orbiter.

Your only chance of ever sleeping with her is probably hitting her up in like 4 or 5 months. But I'd honestly chalk it up to lesson learned--when a girl brags about all the types of guys she rejects, she's telling you what not to do.
 

captain55

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Almost, but not quite. She's defaulting to beta game--she wants betas who will buy her ****, etc.--and she's treating OP that way, because what else could he possibly be in this situation?

Orbiting for a month--Check
3 Dates, a "successful" third date that doesn't include sex--Check
Long Distance--Check
Couple Years Older (default big sister frame)--Check

Honestly, I think she saw OP as a solid hookup (looking at all the factors, why else would she bother with him?). But then OP failed to even try and hookup with her. His chance to **** her is gone, $200 shoes or no; his chance to **** her was 3 dates ago. So what's she supposed to do with him at this point? Well, he won't hook up with her but he might be good for shoes...lol. She even made it clear to OP the type of guys who get that treatment from her. She held up a flag saying, Don't be that guy, take me to bed. But OP decided that those were the guys he was 'competing' with on their terms; and now he's on their terms and doesn't even have the wallet-size to make a great orbiter.

Your only chance of ever sleeping with her is probably hitting her up in like 4 or 5 months. But I'd honestly chalk it up to lesson learned--when a girl brags about all the types of guys she rejects, she's telling you what not to do.
No bro listen to me there was no third date. There were only two dates, and they were both back to back within 24 hours of each other. The third time I ever saw her wasn't an actual date I saw her at the gym on her way out I hit her up last minute when I was in the area, we talked for about twenty minutes and walked her to the car and we made out but not for long. made out. I think I caught her off guard because she had no make up on was sweaty etc...it was at like 5 o'clock in the afternoon on a tuesday lol. The moment I got in the car ten minutes later I get her blowing up my phone flirting with me (after not talking to me for like 5 days) So I know the attraction was there, something is keeping her from getting involved with me
 
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fastlife

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So I know the attraction was there, something is keeping her from getting involved with me
I listed all the reason you could only be a hookup to this girl. Plus, girls advertise their bad qualities to guys they just want to bed them. Do you think she presented herself that way to the dude worth 15 mil? No, she was a 'good' girl, 'not like that,' etc.

The problem is you weren't that guy (though you projected that guy, so you did some things right). Arousal is irrational, which is why girls'll sleep with guys that don't make sense to their lifestyle (why she was willing to hang out with you as long as she did). When arousal is combined with rational considerations (like 15 mil in your bank account), then you enter boyfriend consideration.

But you didn't sleep with her. Whether it was 2 dates or 3, you didn't make it happen, even though she was saying, Look, I'm a really low quality girl. No self-respecting guy would put me into relationship territory, but we're hanging out so you might as well take me to bed and **** me like the wh0re I am. And let's be honest, it was because she was an 8.5/9 and you were scared of losing her (which is really why you lost her) if you made a move.

You proved that you really weren't that guy)--but, hey, you might still have $200 in your wallet, right? (rational considerations). Except you aren't up for that either, so what exactly would she get from her continued association with you?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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