I've read this concept in other posts as well, the idea to create emotional fluctuation to maintain a woman's attraction or interest.
I don't get what a man intentionally does to do this.
That's because the men that women are highly attracted to don't intentionally do it. They treat women like 5hit but have those moments of being "sweet". The woman in turn justifies her attraction toward this total d1ckwad by saying she can see the good person deep down inside of him and that he's "misunderstood".
The idea that somehow as a man, you have to pre-consider a woman's emotional state and what you can intentionally do to alter it. You do this on an ongoing basis? Wow!?!?! Is it something you do once a day, a few times a week, only when you are in her company or is it something you are always aware of?
Doing this has become somewhat automatic for me, so I don't really think about it anymore. I'll ignore her texts for a couple of hours to get her wondering what I'm up to, make her laugh when she's upset, suggest something sexual and then leave her with nothing but a wet puzzy, slap her on the ass once in a while unexpectedly, start nibbling on her neck in the middle of the grocery store, etc etc. It's all about making a stagnant environment more interesting. However, what I've noticed about myself is if I'm not actually genuinely interested in the woman, I either won't have the desire to do it or I'll just treat her like 5hit by default.
It's a full time experience being responsible for my own thoughts, emotions and attitude.
This is something that men don't genuinely understand. A woman's mind is always working, jumping around, and experiencing multiple tracks of things at once. I saw this earlier today on my Facebook, and it really gives a good idea of how a woman's mind works:
I can't fathom trying to also consciously manage someone else's experience.
While women's minds are running on multiple tracks, men's minds generally run on one track. We're not experiencing all that stuff at once. We're usually in one frame of mind at a time. Take that list above, pick only one subject, and we'll be focused on only that.
I love giving gifts or doing special things or creating special experiences for my man. I do that from love and giving and enjoying his joy. For me that is fun and joyful. Is that what you are talking about.
That's not emotional fluctuation, although if you do it when the man is in a bad mood, then you have a good example. If he's had a lousy day at work and you go put on something sexy and climb on his lap, then you're taking him through an emotional transition. However, most women follow their man's lead and their emotions will drop to the same level as his. When he has a lousy day, his woman's day becomes lousy.
I couldn't imagine trying to manage another's emotions for a day, let alone a week, a month, a year or a decade.
It's not managing them, it's leading her into a different mood or injecting something that causes her emotions to jump around. If a guy you were attracted to told you "I could love you some day", you're going to start your multitrack thinking about that statement, and it's going to haunt you. Coming up with a simple statement like that is easy for me, and it does so much for a woman.
When then, do you as a man then get to just "let go" and "be," without having to "be on" (managing the woman's emotional experience) in the relationship?
If a man wants to keep the relationship alive, the answer is never. If he incorporates the things that cause emotional fluctuation into his existing personality, then he can easily "let go" and just "be himself."
When a man inspires my respect, admiration, and appreciation...love flows massively inside me.
...unless he does it all the time. I did that with the woman who drove me to this site and she dumped my ass. She got tired of being treated like a princess. I firmly believe that a woman is 100% happy when she's not 100% happy.
For me the beauty and gift is when we inspire one another in our loving. For me this is a place of giving and authenticity. Loving isn't about getting.
Loving is authenticity and unconditionality. It's loving the whole package.
I believe women can feel a stronger love than men, but men can feel a consistent love better than women. You're never going to feel love for him 100% of the time. That feeling is going to bounce up and down like all your other feelings do. Here's a graph of how a woman feels love:
Here's how a man feels love:
I was shocked at the idea that you feel if you do not maintain emotional fluctuations for a woman, that she will become bored and leave. Is a woman with you because she loves the authentic heart and soul of you?
She will feel see that when she's experienced emotional fluctuation with the man. If there is no emotional fluctuation, she sees him as a "nice guy who can get any woman", but it's any woman except her because she doesn't genuinely have that overall feeling of attraction for him. She can only get that feeling of attraction if her mind is racing and her emotions are jumping. That's the best way I can summarize it.
It baffles me that your expectation/experience is that it is standard practice for women to abandon men they love, when he is in the depths of a growth process.
It's not about a growth process, it's when he's in turmoil about something. He's suddenly in deep debt, a close friend or relative dies, going through a divorce, lost his job and is having trouble getting new employment, etc etc. Growth is improvement. There is nothing boring about a man who's improving himself.
