Anyone else go through this?

[captain55]

I think we all love a challenge. I think we can all agree that women that present the greatest challenge, usually will not sleep with a man that doesn't commit to them or agree to be in some kind of a relationship.

When I agree to the relationship with her, Usually I can pull it off for a little while 2-3 months, during this time her interest level is much higher than mine. and then she'll start complaining that I put absolutely 0 effort into her and to dump me. I'll act like a ***** for a a while and start to miss her like crazy.

I guess one thing I'l never understand despite all the experience with women I've had is how chicks fall in love so quickly, but disconnect so quickly. Sometimes I wonder if I was ever really in love in the first place. When they break up with me they will point out the only reason I even give a **** now is because they're leaving.

The thing is I know I don't put in enough effort so sometimes I will put in more effort. But the girl just loses feelings for me because she knows Im not feeling her.

Im convinced that a woman's feelings for you almost always will depend on how you feel about her. I've never been ****ed over by a chick while I was truly in love with, only when I lost feelings did they dump me soon after.

 

[logicallefty]

I guess one thing I'l never understand despite all the experience with women I've had is how chicks fall in love so quickly, but disconnect so quickly. Sometimes I wonder if I was ever really in love in the first place.

It likely was love in the first place. In your average situation where a guy loves a woman and the woman dumps the guy, he starts the grievance/disconnect process after the breakup, but she has already started it long before. So by the time the breakup happens, she is done and has moved on where his grieving is only beginning. That is why it is so CRITICAL for us as guys to watch for these signs ahead of time and know when her IL is slipping. Women tell us whats going on in their minds before they dump us. Most guys just don't know how to pick up on it.. Learn this stuff and you will never get dumped again because you will always dump her first, if necessary.

 

[dustmuffin]

It likely was love in the first place. In your average situation where a guy loves a woman and the woman dumps the guy, he starts the grievance/disconnect process after the breakup, but she has already started it long before. So by the time the breakup happens, she is done and has moved on where his grieving is only beginning. That is why it is so CRITICAL for us as guys to watch for these signs ahead of time and know when her IL is slipping. Women tell us whats going on in their minds before they dump us. Most guys just don't know how to pick up on it.. Learn this stuff and you will never get dumped again because you will always dump her first, if necessary.

Amen brother..
I saw signs and didn't know what they were at least a month before. Learn the signs. Look for them and dump first.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Amen brother..
I saw signs and didn't know what they were at least a month before. Learn the signs. Look for them and dump first.

I could use a recollection of these signs. Any link to a past thread or something?

 

[dustmuffin]

Greeting kiss closed mouth angry no reason did not sit close are some off of the top of my head. I also felt it in my gut....**** tests where there had been none less affectionate and attentive

 

[Glumix]

You know it in your gut when it's over. You are just too afraid to get rid of her because of the f-cking abandonment fear. It is when you lose your balls, ask for sex, need her more than she needs you, and the power switch to her.

You know that. You're just too scared...

 

[logicallefty]

I could use a recollection of these signs. Any link to a past thread or something?

I totally just typed these up off the top of my head. We could maybe make a new thread with these sometime:

- When you ask to see her she is "too busy" or "has to see whats going on first"

- She doesn't return your calls/texts/etc right away or at all, like she once did

- Has to get home to "walk her goldfish" after a date, leaving no opportunity for sex

- Cancels plans with you repeatedly for some crisis

- Used to call/text you all the time first, now she initiates very little or not at all

- Used to laugh at your jokes/humor, now she rolls her eyes at it

- Used to be you could do no wrong, now you can do no right

- Drops hints about "not being sure whats going to happen" between you and her

- Acts bored around you

- Won't let you meet her kids if she has any

- All the sudden she decides she wants to "save herself for 'the one'", even if you already fvcked her

- Drops hints about being "friends"

- Throws little jabs at you and then tries to say they were just a joke

- Disrespects you by doing something she knows you do not like

 

[Stagger Lee]

I've run into the problem a lot. Women want to be in a 'relationship' and don't want 'just sex'. But only they know and define what constitute a relationship. They start out lovey dovey, but if I'm not available to them all hours, spending the night or I suspect buying fancy dinners and shows and parading them around town, they turn cold. Or maybe it's because I don't act interested, affectionate and gaga enough. But if I was really into a woman that much she wouldn't be interested in me or would get turned off. To me a relationship is just an exclusive sexual relationship where you see each other whenever you want and talk about your thoughts. But I guess relationship to women means some fancy courtship leading to marriage or something.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Thanks very much dustmuffin and logicallefty. I was just thinking about how my last relationship ended and I could find some signs. But I wanted to have a list to compare, and damn, there was more signs that I would like to believe. You live and learn I guess. Specially the humor one, that's as true as it can gets.

 

[sodbuster]

Add sarcasm to a list somewhere here.... when her sense of humor turns sarcastic toward you, she can still try to pass it off as a joke, but it isn't

 

[Glumix]

Ahah, my ex did all those things from day 1 during 21 months...

 

[logicallefty]

Ahah, my ex did all those things from day 1 during 21 months...

That is not uncommon. In these situations its commonly all about the anticipation of having you, and the chase. But once they get you the IL drops. Maybe not all the way, but drops from what it was before they caught you.