"You are attractive, but you are too old"

[MrLuvr]

This is what a 21 year old that I was trying to pick up told me. I am 38.

She told me that she wanted to commit long term and she did not want to get involved with someone that much older than her because she did not want to be alone later in her life. The older partner would die before her and leave her alone.

How does one counter this? She is thinking wayyy long term. My point is, who knows what the future holds.

So, she is attracted to me but doesn't want to start anything because of the age diff.

Is it even worth countering this argument? Should we even bother with girls like this?

I am not hung up on her or anything, but just wondering if anybody had any effective counter arguments.

 

[penkitten]

no its not worth arguing about or worrying about .

she simply wants someone closer to her age, perhaps she was brought up to think long term or perhaps it was an easy rejection that wouldnt hurt your feelings.

 

[cinephile]

Unfortunately, there are no real counter arguements.

Age seem to be one of those issues that a most younger women (24 and under) will not bend on. It is probably because of their general maturity level (usually non existent) and the fact that you are probably closer in age to her parents than to her. Understanblely, this can make her reticent on going forward with a relationship. So, no real logical arguements are going to counter hers.

It is more effective , if younger women are specifically what you are looking for, to screen them better. There are lots of younger women who will definately hook up with an older guy, its just you have to know what to look for and then see if she would be up for it.

You need a lot of patience. While I manage to go out with girls in that range occasionally ( I just turned 38 this year as well), it takes time to see if she is really up for it or just likes the attention.

 

[gixxer]

I think making any kind of a counter argument is the wrong frame entirely.

I know, from an older guy's point of view, you're looking at this beautiful fresh young girl and thinking how great it would be to get with her but you have to kill that feeling.

Look at it from her perspective. Why would a young girl want to be with an older guy? Status, more maturity, better in bed, he's futher along materially and career wise. Think about what she wants in an older guy. If she wanted an AFC she could find some much better looking ones her own age.

I approach younger women as me being the prize. I have my $hit together, would give her the best sex she ever had and probably will ever have for a very long time, I have my own house, can take her for motorcycle rides, I'm mature, confident, in control, know how to handle her.

Would a guy like that waste his time trying to convince her to be into him? Of course not! He'd next her the minute she wasn't interested. IT'S HER LOSS! That's the frame you need. You need to have the frame that sets her up to convince you she's mature enough to handle you. I always tease them with stuff like "you probably can't even kiss" or "do you know what you're doing in bed?" Make her the one convincing you that she's experienced enough to get with you.

Trying to convince her is AFC and that's what she's looking to get away from if she's looking for an older guy.

gixx

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by MrLuvr
This is what a 21 year old that I was trying to pick up told me. I am 38.

She told me that she wanted to commit long term and she did not want to get involved with someone that much older than her because she did not want to be alone later in her life. The older partner would die before her and leave her alone.

How does one counter this? She is thinking wayyy long term. My point is, who knows what the future holds.

So, she is attracted to me but doesn't want to start anything because of the age diff.

Is it even worth countering this argument? Should we even bother with girls like this?

I am not hung up on her or anything, but just wondering if anybody had any effective counter arguments.

If a woman wants to be with a man, age, children, school, jobs, parents, boyfriends, husbands, or fiancees will not deter her 1 bit. NOTHING will get in her way. When a woman does NOT want to be with a man, there will be lame a$$ed excuses like age.

 

[Aztec]

Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by JackPrescott
If a woman wants to be with a man, age, children, school, jobs, parents, boyfriends, husbands, or fiancees will not deter her 1 bit. NOTHING will get in her way. When a woman does NOT want to be with a man, there will be lame a$$ed excuses like age.

Amen, brotha!


I would suggest not to push the issue. If there's a sliver of chance that you two get connected in a long term fashion, as long as you don't keep pressuring her, you may end up together.

 

[MrLuvr]

Re: Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by Aztec
Amen, brotha!


I would suggest not to push the issue. If there's a sliver of chance that you two get connected in a long term fashion, as long as you don't keep pressuring her, you may end up together.

It is not one of those situations where I am stuck on her or anything. Just a girl I connected with in my search.

So, don't really care about HER SPECIFICALLY.

But, I was just wondering about the best general approach was in these scenarios

 

[allan976]

Tough, tough. I've tried posting this 'solution' before but it tends not to generate much enthusiasm. I'll try again anyway lol. Without having met you or seen you, there must be some clear indications of age. Hair loss, an expanding waist line, wrinkling skin, or other factors are clear indicators. Others, such as a deepening/roughening of the voice, an inability to catch onto contemporary pop culture references, dressing in a manner befitting an 'older man' are others. The list goes on and on. I recommend that you take an inventory of those signs which you exhibit and ask yourself if you can minimize any or all of them. Some suggestions:

1. eat right. organic food does help your appearance and probably your energy level.

2. exercise. does wonders for your waistline, skintone and posture.

3. update your wardrobe.

4. go with a military cut or shaved head (if your hair is thinning or balding).

5. wear sunscreen to take care of your skin.

6. keep up with to some degree pop culture-the hot tv shows or music artists or whatever, even if you maintain a jaded, cynical view of these artists and programs, you should at least be aware of what's 'hot' and what's not.

These are not short term solutions, and some of the effects of aging are irreversible: for example, skin damage from uv exposure is irreversible but you can minimize further damage by wearing sunscreen.

Does this help?

Or, what do you think about hitting on 25-28 year old hotties? lol

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

why why why why why

 

[Bonhomme]

Better to reverse it

Nothing you can do in situations like this, MrLuvr, but I've heard of guys who get good results by pre-emptively telling gals they're too young.

If I have the presence of mind to thyink of that one, I may just expreiment with it a bit. Could be fun...

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Re: Better to reverse it

Originally posted by Bonhomme
Nothing you can do in situations like this, MrLuvr, but I've heard of guys who get good results by pre-emptively telling gals they're too young.

That is exactly what you do in order to avoid any of the common obstacles you are likely to get from girls that much younger.

You must make HER jump through hoops in order to get to you. She's the one who has to qualify. I always ask them about their curfew, call them young and immature, or ask them, "You're very young, but are you mature?" or say, "Oh, you're probably one of those young immature girls, right?"Right away they know that they must win my approval. Think about it, no girl, regardless of who immature, childish, etc. will ever admit to it.

I also like to call them "child." This will work on a large majority of young women. If they have issues with their dad or with strong members of the opposite sex, they will be open for the challenge of an older man who is strong and has his life together. You must have your act together, though. If she wanted an immature boy, she could find a much younger one anywere. You must be everthing she's wanted. She must earn your time.

If they have a great relationship with their father, then it is your opportunity to fill that void that every young woman must vacate as she leaves her daddy and searches for the new man in her life.

 

[scordate]

I approach younger women as me being the prize. I have my $hit together, would give her the best sex she ever had and probably will ever have for a very long time, I have my own house, can take her for motorcycle rides, I'm mature, confident, in control, know how to handle her.

gixxer said it; nuff said

dont beg - dont discuss - dont try to persuade

leave it

 

[BigDawg]

Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by JackPrescott
If a woman wants to be with a man, age, children, school, jobs, parents, boyfriends, husbands, or fiancees will not deter her 1 bit. NOTHING will get in her way. When a woman does NOT want to be with a man, there will be lame a$$ed excuses like age.

I agree with JP. If a woman is interested, she'll make time for you, and she won't be resorting to some stupid excuse. The excuse she gave is arbitrary. She could have said that she's busy from now until Hell freezes over.

On the other side of the coin, she might be intimidated. She might imagine some stigma of being with a guy almost twice her age (how would it look to her friends?). She may not what know what she really wants (Do many women know what they want at that age?).

Either way, you're going to have to really stun her (not literally, though ), but without pushing too hard, to get her.

 

[hitmanchronicles]

Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by JackPrescott
If a woman wants to be with a man, age, children, school, jobs, parents, boyfriends, husbands, or fiancees will not deter her 1 bit. NOTHING will get in her way. When a woman does NOT want to be with a man, there will be lame a$$ed excuses like age.

Very true, and here are facts that can prove that.

1) How old is Brad Pitt? in the 40's? think of how many young girls want to jump his bone?

2) George Clooney... well that man is a dinosaur but how many young girls would like to go back to that pre-historic time and bang him?

You see, to those guys age are nothing but just a number to those hypocrit girls.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Tell her she's too old Works for me!

I tell them that I only go for girls ages 18-19. :cheer:



Party On,

Eric

 

[MrLuvr]

Originally posted by allan976
Tough, tough. I've tried posting this 'solution' before but it tends not to generate much enthusiasm. I'll try again anyway lol. Without having met you or seen you, there must be some clear indications of age. Hair loss, an expanding waist line, wrinkling skin, or other factors are clear indicators. Others, such as a deepening/roughening of the voice, an inability to catch onto contemporary pop culture references, dressing in a manner befitting an 'older man' are others.

Here is the thing.. I have NONE of those charectiristics. I have all my hair.. maybe 5 gray hairs on my head. no receding hair line... no belly.. modern hair cut.. dress well but not like a 19 year old, and not like an old fogey either.. etc.. etc..

so the look is not the issue..

some women just have a mental mindblock against age. No matter what the guy looks like.

 

[Kaine]

How old did you say Brad Pitt was again???


Kaine

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by MrLuvr
This is what a 21 year old that I was trying to pick up told me. I am 38.

Not trying to be judgemental but besides a nice fling, what do you really want with a 21 yr old??

 

[Derek Flint]

I'm 45 and I like to date women in their mid-20's

When they play the age card, I reframe it:

"It's not a question of if I'm too old for you, it's a question of if you are mature enough and experienced enough to date me"

It's usually a s*** test on their part.

 

[BigDawg]

Originally posted by Derek Flint
I'm 45 and I like to date women in their mid-20's

When they play the age card, I reframe it:

"It's not a question of if I'm too old for you, it's a question of if you are mature enough and experienced enough to date me"

It's usually a s*** test on their part.

Do you find that this works well? What kind of success do you have with this filter?