Would You Consider This Disrespect?

[soulforge]

Christmas Eve 2016, my ex invited me to join her for some takeaway food with her two daughters and there boyfriends.

It was a very busy day and i was extremely rushed.. I had to catch a train to get to her house an hour away, directly after work.. in the rush I did not remember to go to the cash machine!

When the takeaway food arrived, my ex went into her purse pulled some money out, but she only had £10 in there.. So she asked if I had some money??

It then dawned on me, that i had forgot to withdraw cash, so I told her I don't have any cash on me, sorry..

She then in a snappy bytchy way said this, in front of everyone..

DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVE COME OVER HERE WITH NO MONEY IN YOUR POCKETS

So one of the lads had to pay my share for the takeaway.. I felt VERY embarrassed about this, as i felt like a scrounger who did not want to pay his was...

But mostly I felt bad, because my ex spoke to me like that in front of people and showed me up..

She could have quite easily asked me politely to go to the cash machine, or spoke to me in another room about it.. why embarras me for making a mistake.

I was so busy with things, it never came to my mind, and she did not give me any info beforehand how the food would be paid.

Later when everyone left, i bought this incident up with her.. and she basically dismissed my feelings, started raising her voice, said it was ALL my own fault.

This is one of the reasons why me and her broke up... she calimed that I had ruined Christmas for her

 

[Serenity]

Yes, this is disrespect. If I had forgotten money because I was in a rush, explained that and gotten such a toxic response. I would just turn around, walk away and sarcastically reply "enjoy your extra food". I would literally not give a fuck about what any of them thought of it, if they didn't feel sorry it's just more disrespectful.

I have literally walked away from this type of disrespect before, it's proven to be very effective. Actions speak a whole lot louder than words, bringing up the incident in retrospect isn't nearly as effective. You gotta catch the dog in the act of peeing for it to learn it is wrong, you can't yell at it a couple hours later.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

The answer is yes. In addition, sounds like she intended all along that you would pay...

Are you still banging her?

-Augustus-

 

[soulforge]

I would have loved to have walked away, but I was miles away from home and no mode of transport to get back home..

Its this kind of rude and dismissive attitude that lead me to dumping her ass.. There several other incidents too..

When you spend a lengthy amount of time with a c

The answer is yes. In addition, sounds like she intended all along that you would pay...

Are you still banging her?

-Augustus-

The answer is yes. In addition, sounds like she intended all along that you would pay...

Are you still banging her?



-Augustus-

No I dumped her.. There where one too many incidents like this..

Just didn't want to tollerate anymore of it

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Probably not a brilliant move to go out NY with no money. It's going to play a pretty fundamental role on that night in particular.

That being said, her reaction was a bit aggro. I've had a couple of similar things before where they kick off about pathetic things. A sure sign of low or declining interest anyway. Or, maybe she was just an aggro bird. Who knows. Unacceptable in my book all the same.

Better off without that noise in your life.

 

[The Duke]

yes very disrespectful. I'm thinking that instead of taking full responsibility for not having enough money, she got embarrassed and shifted blame to you so she could feel better about herself.

Have you paid your fair share of things in the past? Is she always this rude, or has something you did prompted her to act this way?

 

[Serenity]

I would have loved to have walked away, but I was miles away from home and no mode of transport to get back home...

That would only emphasise how disrespectful you thought she was. I would most definitively have walked, there's always some way to get home. I would rather have a difficult time with transport than to stay in the same house as a bitch.

 

[SgtSplacker]

You failed when you took a train to have lunch with someone thats not going to appreciate it. Women don't respond well to sacrifice. You might think you are being awesome for going out of your way to make lunch with her but all she sees is a desperate man going out of his way just to see her. She thinks a real man with options would never waste time and resources doing something like that and shes right. Thats why it was so easy for her to disrespect you in front of everyone like that. Your effort just made you look bad. Save the kindness for your mates bud, that woman you treat her how she deserves to be treated, how she treats you.

Don't go out of your way for women or do them any favors unless they ask, and even then make sure she knows she needs to make it up to you. Thats how they work to women their puuussies are like currency they expect to be treated the same.

 

[soulforge]

You failed when you took a train to have lunch with someone thats not going to appreciate it. Women don't respond well to sacrifice. You might think you are being awesome for going out of your way to make lunch with her but all she sees is a desperate man going out of his way just to see her. She thinks a real man with options would never waste time and resources doing something like that and shes right. Thats why it was so easy for her to disrespect you in front of everyone like that. Your effort just made you look bad. Save the kindness for your mates bud, that woman you treat her how she deserves to be treated, how she treats you.

Don't go out of your way for women or do them any favors unless they ask, and even then make sure she knows she needs to make it up to you. Thats how they work to women their puuussies are like currency they expect to be treated the same.

Hey man at this point whe where living together.. and had been together for 18 months.. its not a strange thing to spend Christmas Eve at your Girlfriends after dating for nearly 2 years..

But I do get your point.. Treat them as they treat you!

 

[soulforge]

That would only emphasise how disrespectful you thought she was. I would most definitively have walked, there's always some way to get home. I would rather have a difficult time with transport than to stay in the same house as a bitch.

Seriously man, it was Christmas Eve.. it was late at night, there was zero public transport..

A taxi back to my home town would have cost a fortune.. ai felt kinda stuck there.. or I would have got the fuk out..

After this incident she blamed me entirely for it.. then there was another incident of disrespect..

Then I immediately dumped her..

 

[soulforge]

yes very disrespectful. I'm thinking that instead of taking full responsibility for not having enough money, she got embarrassed and shifted blame to you so she could feel better about herself.

Have you paid your fair share of things in the past? Is she always this rude, or has something you did prompted her to act this way?

I always paid my way, apart from one or two times, when inwas short of cash, and had some financial problems.. other than that everything was done 50/50

She was also a higher earner than me.. but she was not generous with money, and always expected everything to be 50/50

Fair enough.. still no reason to embarrass me in front of people.

 

[Billtx49]

Yes. Her disrespect level was at the max during that encounter. She deserved the dump.

 

[soulforge]

yes very disrespectful. I'm thinking that instead of taking full responsibility for not having enough money, she got embarrassed and shifted blame to you so she could feel better about herself.

Have you paid your fair share of things in the past? Is she always this rude, or has something you did prompted her to act this way?

In the 18months I was with her, there was several incidents of rudeness yes.. I actually dumped her 3 months into dating for disrespect.. but got back together after she kept messaging me for weeks

That was a mistake!

 

[soulforge]

Yes. Her disrespect level was at the max during that encounter.

Your on the money... 3 weeks after that incident, me and her broke up.. she moved out of my house..

I just didn't feel like I could trust her.. I started to resent her.. and i didn't appreciate her blaming me for the entire incident..

Yes she claimed I ruined Christmas day...

 

[Billtx49]

Your on the money... 3 weeks after that incident, me and her broke up.. she moved out of my house..

I just didn't feel like I could trust her.. I started to resent her.. and i didn't appreciate her blaming me for the entire incident..

Yes she claimed I ruined Christmas day...

She was toxic. Be glad she's gone now. Time for better women…
Life's too short to spend your time with or remember the bad ones.

 

[ubercat]

You've got to hold the frame that your self respect has an incredibly high value. I would have said that talking like that to me is unacceptable and then walked. Then jumped a cab whatever the cost. If I was really freaked out about the money maybe walk a couple of suburbs to cool off and then jump a cab.

 

[soulforge]

You've got to hold the frame that your self respect has an incredibly high value. I would have said that talking like that to me is unacceptable and then walked. Then jumped a cab whatever the cost. If I was really freaked out about the money maybe walk a couple of suburbs to cool off and then jump a cab.

Would you have ended it with her i.e dumped her, or left the relationship behind??

I kinda feel this was the moment where I should have walked away for good.

 

[Billtx49]

I kinda feel this was the moment where I should have walked away for good.

Ideally yes. It would have been the exact time to do so, but our emotions usually cloud our judgement and common sense in a very real way.

 

[soulforge]

Ideally yes. It would have been the exact time to do so, but our emotions usually cloud our judgement and common sense in a very real way.

They say better late than never.. 3 weeks after this incident I walked away.. nearly 4 months NC..

Its funny how toxic woman mess your head to the point, where you lose all concept off acceptable behaviour and un acceptable behaviour!

 

[Billtx49]

Its funny how toxic woman mess your head to the point, where you lose all concept off acceptable behaviour and un acceptable behaviour!

Yes, it's called the FOG.