Would You Consider This Disrespect?

[ubercat]

I get it mate we ve had woman who ve been great at messing with our heads. And I think this is why you r chewing over this memory. You coming into your 40s and you realise you have to address you're inner game issues.

I had some bad medical News the other day when I was suffering from a bad head cold. I was pissed off and my girlfriend took it that I was pissed off at her. And she promptly cracked out. I've had her on radio silence for the last two days. Now she's normally a great chick and I will be disappointed if she disappears.

But so be it. You have to have a zero tolerance policy for disrespect.

 

[Serenity]

Seriously man, it was Christmas Eve.. it was late at night, there was zero public transport..

A taxi back to my home town would have cost a fortune.. ai felt kinda stuck there.. or I would have got the fuk out..

After this incident she blamed me entirely for it.. then there was another incident of disrespect..

Then I immediately dumped her..

Alright, I yield. Can see how it would be pretty hard. Next time don't go anywhere without a backup plan to get home.

Btw, who the fuck has takeaway for Christmas?

 

[sazc]

Would you have ended it with her i.e dumped her, or left the relationship behind??

I kinda feel this was the moment where I should have walked away for good.

I'm glad that you are reflecting on the behavior from your past relationship. Yes, this relationship was disrepectful.

My last relationship was chock full of surprise confrontations as well. Out of the blue I was being confronted (sometimes in public, sometimes in private) about some behavior. With this last one I should have walked away when I first saw the behavior, about 6 months in. Instead I decided to try to let this person know what I would and would not tolerate in a relationship. The confrontations were infrequent but, when they occurred, there was no boundary as to where they would happen, and/or what would be said. Public places, private places, personal attacks, whatever. Embarrassing.

I'm all for speaking your truth and expressing your standards, but never in a hostile way and never in public.

My lesson was that you cant change people. As soon as you see behavior that you know you wont tolerate in a partner W-A-L-K. If you dont walk you will be wasting time with this person until you finally have had enough and do leave.

 

[soulforge]

I'm glad that you are reflecting on the behavior from your past relationship. Yes, this relationship was disrepectful.

My last relationship was chock full of surprise confrontations as well. Out of the blue I was being confronted (sometimes in public, sometimes in private) about some behavior. With this last one I should have walked away when I first saw the behavior, about 6 months in. Instead I decided to try to let this person know what I would and would not tolerate in a relationship. The confrontations were infrequent but, when they occurred, there was no boundary as to where they would happen. Public, private whatever. Embarrassing.

I'm all for speaking your truth and expressing your standards, but never in a hostile way and never in public.

My lesson was that you cant change people. As soon as you see behavior that you know you wont tolerate in a partner W-A-L-K. If you dont walk you will be wasting time with this person until you finally have had enough and do leave.

I couldn't agree with this more.. Everytime my ex behaved in a unreasonable manner.. I either corrected her, but it achieved nothing..

Things would be fine for a few months.. then WHAM she would say or do something, that would jeopardise the relationship again..

You can't fix or change people like this... the only think you can do is, have the strength and courage to WALK away, as soon as you realise there behaviour does not meet your standards..

Its a hard thing to do.. but your sanity is at stake here!

Honestly the writing was on the wall.. I should have walked away from my ex just 3 months in... Instead stuck it out for 18 months.. now I have a mountain of healing to do..

Do not make the same mistake as me!!

 

[sazc]

lol, we just had the same experience in terms of dating people. Just realize you made mistakes with your choice of partner. Identify those mistakes and make sure you do not repeat them again.

 

[soulforge]

Alright, I yield. Can see how it would be pretty hard. Next time don't go anywhere without a backup plan to get home.

Btw, who the fuck has takeaway for Christmas?

I know man, who has Chinese food on Christmas Eve lol..

The worst part of this is, because the night had turned into chit...I went to bed early, as me and her where barley talking!

She stayed up with her daughters drinking alcohol and playing very loud music...

I could hear the music blasting away till 4am in the morning.. I hardly slept a wink

She then woke me up on Christmas morning at 7am.. after just 3 hours sleep..

I was absolutely exhausted and somewhat feeling upset and angry.. because of the lack of sleep, thanks to there music, it took me nearly 20mins to come downstairs to open presents with her and her two adult daughters..

She later then accused me of making her and her daughters wait for 20mins on Christmas morning... what a fuking cheek..

It then truely sunk in what kind of inconsiderate woman I was dealing with.. I started planning my exit strategy..

 

[sazc]

Alright, I yield. Can see how it would be pretty hard. Next time don't go anywhere without a backup plan to get home.

Btw, who the fuck has takeaway for Christmas?

@wifehunter has Chinese all the time...im not sure if it is food or females, but I'm pretty sure he's eating something.....

 

[Roober]

I'm glad that you are reflecting on the behavior from your past relationship. Yes, this relationship was disrepectful.

My last relationship was chock full of surprise confrontations as well. Out of the blue I was being confronted (sometimes in public, sometimes in private) about some behavior. With this last one I should have walked away when I first saw the behavior, about 6 months in. Instead I decided to try to let this person know what I would and would not tolerate in a relationship. The confrontations were infrequent but, when they occurred, there was no boundary as to where they would happen, and/or what would be said. Public places, private places, personal attacks, whatever. Embarrassing.

I'm all for speaking your truth and expressing your standards, but never in a hostile way and never in public.

My lesson was that you cant change people. As soon as you see behavior that you know you wont tolerate in a partner W-A-L-K. If you dont walk you will be wasting time with this person until you finally have had enough and do leave.

That last paragraph is key.... Do not try to justify a behavior that you will not accept!

 

[dustmuffin]

Disrespectful, be glad that you finally saw the light and dumped her. I recall reading your other threads about her. She is just drama. Let her make someone else miserable.

 

[wifehunter]

@wifehunter has Chinese all the time...im not sure if it is food or females, but I'm pretty sure he's eating something.....

My grandmother was half chinese.

No, you know, "hands off" with the ladies, don't need any physical bonding to cloud my judgment!*

But, my "eyes are on" and open... I'm always checking out the ladies. It's my hobby!

And Yes, I had fried rice the other night!!!

*Ref: "It is good for a man not to touch a woman."

 

[soulforge]

Disrespectful, be glad that you finally saw the light and dumped her. I recall reading your other threads about her. She is just drama. Let her make someone else miserable.

I hear you man.. it's not easy tho.. keep thinking she was the best I could ever get.. and ever will..

I know its the wrong mind set to have.. maybe time will prove me wrong, and I will do better than her..

All i can do for now, is keep hitting the gym.. improving myself in every way possible!

 

[soulforge]

Even now, I sometimes feel like maybe i should reach out to her..

But no matter how hard I try with her.. it will be a matter of time till things go down hill again..

If she behaves in a disrespectful way again.. I will have to walk away.. AGAIN

And I will be back on square one all over again!

 

[wifehunter]

Even now, I sometimes feel like maybe i should reach out to her..

But no matter how hard I try with her.. it will be a matter of time till things go down hill again..

If she behaves in a disrespectful way again.. I will have to walk away.. AGAIN

And I will be back on square one all over again!

If you're going to break the cycle, walking away, is the only option.

 

[soulforge]

If you're going to break the cycle, walking away, is the only option.

Yes.. she is who she is.. past behavior predicts future behavior..

I have to say this woman is not all bad bad bad..off course there was some amazing times we had together.

But those good times do not last.. as her bytchy rude behaviour rears its ugly head.

I cannot see how that could ever change..

After a few months of happy times.. I would back on here looking for advise.

I have even gone to the length of changing my mobile number, and blocking her in every way!

Just so i can break off from this toxic cycle

 

[wifehunter]

Yes.. she is who she is.. past behavior predicts future behavior..

I have to say this woman is not all bad bad bad..off course there was some amazing times we had together.

But those good times do not last.. as her bytchy rude behaviour rears its ugly head.

I cannot see how that could ever change..

After a few months of happy times.. I would back on here looking for advise.

I have even gone to the length of changing my mobile number, and blocking her in every way!

Just so i can break off from this toxic cycle

Good job! Now, someone worthy of you, has an opportunity. The pain will still be there, but let it motivate you, to not let b!tch hags into your life. Always have your guard up!

 

[SadoMasochrist]

Am I the only one that is going to point out that you lost frame?

 

[dustmuffin]

Am I the only one that is going to point out that you lost frame?

So what if he did? He corrected the problem. She is a ***** that dosent deserve his attention. Holding frame would not have made her less of a *****.

 

[soulforge]

Am I the only one that is going to point out that you lost frame?

Yes i did man.. the first time she behaved in a rude and bytchy way towards me.. I should have walked away like any man of value would have done..

I did not do that.. low self esteem, or lack of options.. call it what you like..

I have learnt from this.. dumped her.. and never will be making that same mistake again.

 

[soulforge]

A bitchy person is exactly that.. frame would not have made much difference..

Only walking away is what mattered.. I just did not walk away soon enough!

 

[SadoMasochrist]

So what if he did? He corrected the problem. She is a ***** that dosent deserve his attention. Holding frame would not have made her less of a *****.

Moralizing and pedestalizing. Demote her to *** dumpster and AA\AM.

"I knew you'd cover me"

blah blah blah **** you

"Oh well, ey you gonna spot me or what, I gotta get paid some time for ****ing you down?"

If you get a hard no, just shame her for being rude and leave. But regardless, it was a loss of frame.

Walking\IRL soft next is reserved for women you care about. You feel me?