Women With Ultra-Low Self-Esteem - Why Do I Attract Them!

[MrLockBox]

Greetings all. I have come to my wit's end. I'm 26 years old (soon to be 27) and most women do not like me. I've only had one girlfriend in my entire life (and that only lasted for 2 months). I consider myself to be in worse shape than most others in similar situations because I have very little contact with women. I never get a phone call from any of the girls I know or even a lousy e-mail.

Usually, when I'm out with my friends meeting new girls, I'm quickly cast aside or just flat out ignored. Then naturally, the same girls that I was eyeing on earlier will offer me embarrassing advice on picking up women. I'll explain to them that I didn't ask for their advice, and then I'll ask them to not put me in such an awkward situation. I only bring that up because this happens all too often. Well, enough on background for now.

On the rare occasion of when a girl actually likes me, they tend to have baggage. After several years of dealing with these types of women, I found a common bond among them. They all suffered from ultra-low self-esteem. After doing some serious reflecting, most of these girls either had a severally abusive backgrounds, or their family history was riddle with drug and alcohol abuse.

What does this mean? I truly do not prefer to be with women who have low self-esteem. I know some guys purposely target these women to control them. I just want a normal girl. I believe if I am able to successfully turn away these women, than most other women will begin to like me.

I have no idea what it is that I do wrong. I know I am a fairly good looking guy. I'm not Hollywood by any means, but not bad looking. I am shorter than the average height, but not by much. I'm 5'6", but I do wear elevator shoes that boosts my height to 5'8" (the shoes are not noticeable, and yes, they do seem to help lol.) I don't have any tattoos or piercings and I dress casual. But you know what, I don't think any of that matters. How many times I witnessed a guy sweeping a girl off her feet wearing a torn shirt and not bathed for days. I have heard and tried every bad cliché. I need clear, unbiased, insight for a change.

Anyone wanna take shot at this?

 

[GetOveIT]

Just dont accept low value women, start having standards as soon as a women start showing low self esteem next her.
I think you attract that kind of women because you too have low self esteem.

 

[Ascyus]

Hey I thought I would just share a story to you
There is this girl in my class who is quite insecure because she has a burn mark on her neck, she is Indian so the mark is quite noticeable but she is indeed very beautiful. When we first met I noticed it but didn’t mention anything about it. Then after awhile I noticed she started wearing scarf’s to cover it up and that she would sit on my right so I wouldnt see it (as it is on her right side of her neck). After a while I guess she got comfortable with me and asked me why I didn’t ask her about the scar on her neck. I said that it didn’t bother me and that I would have only asked if she was comfortable telling me. Anyway, the reason as to why she was attracted to me was because I didn’t like most people ask her about her scar which was personal. She told me how she got it and said that she told me because she trusted me. Of course we are just friends but I definitely feel that we could have had a relationship together.

Maybe in the situation where you go out but your friends are getting the action is because those girls just want to have fun and not looking for a relationship – in other words sex. I have not had experienced with girls with abusive backgrounds or drug/alcohol abuse but maybe these girls gravitate towards you because they feel they can trust you and maybe know that you will not hurt them like what has been done to them in the past.

It kind of sounds like you are just a nice guy to be honest. You say that you attract women with low self esteem but maybe you yourself have low self esteem. I mean wearing the shoes to boost your height kind of shows it but don’t worry I do that too when I am doing presentations lol.

Sorry if I haven’t provide a good answer but I would also like to know about girls with low self esteem also. I think that they want a nice guy that will not judge them especially the ones insecure with their looks and want someone who will treat them well. But there is this girl who is really short in my class whom is very cute and i have yet to talk to, i plan to when the semester starts back. She is maybe 5ft and I want to tease her on her height but now thinking about it, it may not be such a good idea.....

 

[DanelMadr]

These girls are EASY GAME. That is why you are attracting them, everyone would. They are easy game because they don't come up with resistence and they are generally nice.

If they are really nice and can go without passive-aggresive periods and they have clean past, I wouldn't discard them.

Generaly all girls have low self esteem compared to male standards. I prefer shy girls. Not to control them but because I don't want to be controlled. They don't play games, they don't pull tantrums etc.

So are you attracting low self esteem aka SHY or damaged goods aka NO SELF RESPECT (drugs, alcohol, blowing guys on toilets)?

Go for the first ones, discard the others.

Confident girls are mostly just masking their low self esteem by being arrogant or stuck up, anyway. Confident girl is not feminine.

 

[MrLockBox]

Thank you fellas, you all have good points. Though, I will disagree that I have low self-esteem lol. There's plenty of guys out there with self-esteem issues that have no problem getting a chick.

Regarding my height, it was never a real issue with me at first. But I noticed in the last few years, a lot of women in my area have put emphasis on height. Everywhere from personal ads to mingling with girls at bars. Every time I get into a argument, the first thing a girl will slam me on is my height. Now that I'm taller, it evens out the playing field. Kinda cheap, and yeah, I shouldn't care, however, I'm using a device to enhance my appearance. Much like how women have water bras.

 

[oscarxp25]

MR LOCKBOX...your life story seems like my life..haha

 

[the305]

MrLockBox: the problem is you. "you attract who you are" hold try, the quality of guy you are is the quality of girl you will get.

Focus on having a fun/vibey personality, being more confident in yourself, and bettering your physical appearance, most importantly your style of dress.

its a bit disturbing that guys on this forum are actually giving you advice on how to pickup low self esteem women, like WTF lol.

 

[Scion]

MrLockBox, you seem to have this whole "poor me" attitude. Hate to tell you but you aren't unique. I'm a year younger than you and I'm in the same situation where women just aren't interested in me. However, unlike you I've never had a girlfriend. Hell, before this time last year I hadn't even kissed a girl (and since then I've had more dates than in the rest of my life, kissed many girls, and gotten a few *******s).

Anyway, what was my point again? Oh yeah, go for the girls you like. If you don't like low self-esteem girls than don't go for them. And don't let your past be a obstacle in your way.

 

[slaog]

MrLockBox, you seem to have this whole "poor me" attitude. Hate to tell you but you aren't unique. I'm a year younger than you and I'm in the same situation where women just aren't interested in me. However, unlike you I've never had a girlfriend. Hell, before this time last year I hadn't even kissed a girl (and since then I've had more dates than in the rest of my life, kissed many girls, and gotten a few *******s).

You'll notice that most guys who can't gt girlfriends have this 'poor me' attitude, at least when it comes to women.


Like the305 said, you attract who you are. OP, when you're talking to women do you have that 'poor me' attitude? Because if thats the energy you're giving off then naturally it doesn't make women feel good. And attraction is all about making women feel good.

 

[Puck508]

Totally agree with slaog.

The reason guys who look like crap still get girls? Self confidence. Period.

Listen, I'm a big guy (not obese, but a big dude) and had the hardest time getting women for a long time. But when I finally was "okay" with myself and had the self confidence that I do now, things changed. Women can smell self confidence a mile away.

I won't address the girls with low self esteem because it seems like your problem is more of approaching the women that you WANT vs. the ones you don't want approaching you.

The biggest key is self confidence, but the way to do that is happiness with yourself and always keeping a positive attitude. ALWAYS. Positive Attitude = Positive Results. I work in a call center and all of my customer service people have a mirror in their booth. It is REQUIRED of them to look at themselves and smile on every call. Why? Because the people on the other end of the line can HEAR their happiness and positive attitude. We have record sales every month, and I believe that's a huge contributor.

The world is generally unhappy and pessimistic...why not bring some happiness/optimism into it? I promise you that you'll get good results with women, just by being happy, because happiness breads self confidence. Tell yourself when you walk into a club/bar/wherever that you're king sh1t and you can have any woman you want. Then don't be afraid to approach or that you'll get shot down, because again...you're king sh1t, and if she blows you off, she doesn't deserve you anyway.

Last thing I'll say...If you approach a woman in a bar and make small talk, and she blows you off...what has changed from 5 minutes ago? Absolutely nothing.

Remember that. You have NOTHING to lose and EVERYTHING to gain.

Good luck.

Puck