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Women, Power and dominance
- Thread starter ManOMan
- Start date
I've tried, but there are none so blind as those that will not see.
Seriously, what are you guys doing? Reading the DJ bible like it was gospel and regurgitating it on cue? Most of the DJ bible has been disowned by it's authors. There is some useful stuff in there but it's massively outweighed by complete and utter crap. You have to seperate the wheat from the chaff. Indiscriminate wholesale adoption of dogma is for fundamentalist cult members who hand over their entire identity to the cult leadership.
What's really going on between guys and chicks is absolutely nothing like what you seem to imagine. It's all much simpler than that, and until you can stop blaming society or women or whatever convenient scapegoat comes to hand and place the blame where it lies, you'll never get anywhere. The best you can hope for is that by some bizarre coincidence a chick will so thoroughly misunderstand your intentions that she'll go for it - but then you guys would take that as validation of your messed up theories.
Fair enough, society has tried to turn us into pvssies, but it's only through our complicity that they can succeed.
There is no power struggle between men and women. There is no 'power of the pvssy' - except for those weak enough to believe there is -and that's just a delusion. What women want is for a man that they're attracted to to take charge and do the things that men do. If a guy that a girl is attracted to can't behave like a man then of course she'll give him a hard time. What else is she going to do? She wanted him but he's inadequate. Is that her fault?
There are no shyt tests. If you go fishing and don't catch anything are the fish shyt testing you? Of course not, you just suck at fishing. If you're in the right place at the right time and do the right things - and then don't fvck it up, then you'll catch fish. End of story. If you're being 'shyt tested' then you've already fvcked up, and all she's really doing is giving you another chance.
Stop attributing all sorts of bizzarre behaviour to women when it's all just a reaction to the things you're doing wrong. If you slap a girl and she kicks you in the nuts then I suppose you'd have some fvcked up theory about how women are all ballbreakers.
If everything isn't easy and natural and done without thinking then you're doing something wrong.
This thread is deteriorating.
I think the important thing here is that power is important. Of course it is, because confidence is essentially personal power.
The mistake is to think that you have to have the financial resources of Donald Trump to get laid. It's not that, it's simply not being a pushover. Many women follow the strategy of going for what they personally lack, and that's confidence and self-assuredness. You have to decide how much of that slack you want to take up for them, but if you show that you are strong, you will be more successful than if you don't.
I think the important thing here is that power is important. Of course it is, because confidence is essentially personal power.
The mistake is to think that you have to have the financial resources of Donald Trump to get laid. It's not that, it's simply not being a pushover. Many women follow the strategy of going for what they personally lack, and that's confidence and self-assuredness. You have to decide how much of that slack you want to take up for them, but if you show that you are strong, you will be more successful than if you don't.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
That might be the best post I have read on this forum in my 1 and a half years here.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
What he is saying is that it is not a woman's world, because if it was, why is the only thing that the majority of them have over us is their bodies? Because this is their only tool, they have crafted it to profection... Kinda like a football team that runs only 1 offensive play... They may run 1 play but I bet they run that 1 play better than anyone else.
Think about it, most of your teachers growing up where women, your MOM is at home when your dad is out at work, your babysitters are WOMEN and all you see on TV growing up are women dancing around flaunting their sexuality... Of couse it seems like it's a womans world, that's the only thing you can see.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
What he is saying is that it is not a woman's world, because if it was, why is the only thing that the majority of them have over us is their bodies? Because this is their only tool, they have crafted it to profection... Kinda like a football team that runs only 1 offensive play... They may run 1 play but I bet they run that 1 play better than anyone else.
Think about it, most of your teachers growing up where women, your MOM is at home when your dad is out at work, your babysitters are WOMEN and all you see on TV growing up are women dancing around flaunting their sexuality... Of couse it seems like it's a womans world, that's the only thing you can see.
Kineti[C]harm
Master Don Juan
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CAPISH
I suppose that's one way of looking at it, but I suspect that what you guys actually mean by 'confidence' is an absence of fear.
That might get your foot in the door, but after that it all comes down to behaviour. A woman's primal needs can't be fulfilled by physical appearance - they can only be fulfilled by male behaviour.
Blurred Elevens
Don Juan
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This must be why porn shops, strip clubs, and *****houses are packed full of Women and not Men.Originally posted by Aramas
rofl - the Lost Boys
Just in case you guys haven't noticed, women are for more obsessed with sex than men are. They're not 'withholding sex' - they're just waiting for the guy to prove that he knows how to be the man (assuming she's already attracted - if not, dream on).
Post first, than smoke crack.
If you can't tell sex from porn then you're further gone than I thought. Maybe you can call it "I Can't Believe It's Not Sex"
Paying for sex is just plain sad. Renta D!cksocket - gee, I wonder why chicks don't go for that so much?
Blurred Elevens
Don Juan
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This must explain why girls put out so much, and dudes are prude and are hesitant about getting their rocks off...got me there!
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Originally posted by Aramas
If you can't tell sex from porn then you're further gone than I thought. Maybe you can call it "I Can't Believe It's Not Sex"
Paying for sex is just plain sad. Renta D!cksocket - gee, I wonder why chicks don't go for that so much?
Actually what is sad is how narrowminded you seem to be.
Just because YOU don't believe in paying for sex doesn't mean it's SAD, that's your opinion. Everyone doesn't pay for sex becuase they can't get any... The President Might pay for sex to make sure word doesn't get out he scratched an itch.
Some men pay for sex because they don't want the hussle and bussle of a relationship... quick pro quo... Money for sex.
Some people just have a fantasy to sleep with a hooker...
Whatever the case may be, don't just everyone by your preconcieved ideas.
WTF???
Aramis, does it sound like Im looking for a scapegoat for my inadeqcies??
my post has very little to do with taking the words on here as "gospel"
I just notice a pattern here with women. They have sexual power over a man, but as soon as men dismiss those powers, they are in like flynn
Its not a very hard concept, women like MEN when they realize that their sexual prowess has no effect on them
as soon as women preceive they have some power over a man (i.e. pvssy power), they will use it to manipulate men for either material or emotional gain
you seem to think Im some bitter old man who is trying to explain away why women reject me
you are WRONG.
Im saying there is a POWER struggle between men and women, but the irony is that WOMEN SECRETLY want to LOSE the power struggle based on their submissive history
So in essence, when a woman LOSES a power struggle to a guy, she is actually GAINING, because she wants a guy who can dominate her, and take care of her & her children
She doesnt want some pantywaist weakspined jellyfish, she wants a guy who will think her sexual seductiveness is powerless, and thus, if she can rope a guy in who will love her for who she is and raise her kids while he is disinterested in sex, she has a winner!!
Think about it! a Guy who doesnt fall for a girls sexual charm, yet is still interested??? That is Total Father material!
so as soon as a woman realizes she has you jumping through hooops just for a chance to bag her, you are just another guy who gave in to her sexual charm, there are a million other guys out there just like you
but treat her like sex means nothing and neither does her looks or sex appeal, and she will think you are a great catch!!
Aramis, does it sound like Im looking for a scapegoat for my inadeqcies??
my post has very little to do with taking the words on here as "gospel"
I just notice a pattern here with women. They have sexual power over a man, but as soon as men dismiss those powers, they are in like flynn
Its not a very hard concept, women like MEN when they realize that their sexual prowess has no effect on them
as soon as women preceive they have some power over a man (i.e. pvssy power), they will use it to manipulate men for either material or emotional gain
you seem to think Im some bitter old man who is trying to explain away why women reject me
you are WRONG.
Im saying there is a POWER struggle between men and women, but the irony is that WOMEN SECRETLY want to LOSE the power struggle based on their submissive history
So in essence, when a woman LOSES a power struggle to a guy, she is actually GAINING, because she wants a guy who can dominate her, and take care of her & her children
She doesnt want some pantywaist weakspined jellyfish, she wants a guy who will think her sexual seductiveness is powerless, and thus, if she can rope a guy in who will love her for who she is and raise her kids while he is disinterested in sex, she has a winner!!
Think about it! a Guy who doesnt fall for a girls sexual charm, yet is still interested??? That is Total Father material!
so as soon as a woman realizes she has you jumping through hooops just for a chance to bag her, you are just another guy who gave in to her sexual charm, there are a million other guys out there just like you
but treat her like sex means nothing and neither does her looks or sex appeal, and she will think you are a great catch!!
I can understand that it's uncomfortable to have your delusions threatened, but it seems you live in rather strange world. Have you never had close female friends? Have you never hung out with a bunch of them? They talk about sex and relationships pretty much all the time. Most girl's lives revolve entirely around sex. If you think that just because guys think about sex sometimes and look at porn or play renta-fvck then they're more obsessed than chicks, who think about almost nothing else, then I put it to you that smoking crack could not possibly remove your little fantasy world further from reality than it already is. Who would be more obsessed with food, someone that occasionally picks up a burger from a drive-thru, or someone that not only eats, but sleeps and breathes food?
What I find so sad about this forum is that the new guys might read the delusional drivel that litters this place and head down the same road. Apparently misery loves company.
What I've written is there for you to see, but you refuse because it doesn't fit into your paradigm. It does, however, fit rather neatly into reality, which is the only benchmark worth a damn. It's not even my opinion, it's stuff I've learned from other people, literature, mythology and psychology, and verified through decades of experience. By all means continue to 'fake it till you make it', but don't be surprised if what you make is all fvcked up.
Blurred Elevens
Don Juan
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Aramas-I'm really trying to see your point of view here dawg, but it's a proven fact that men think about sex more than women....ALOT MORE. (it's like every 5 minutes or something like that)
Women sit around and talk about relationships, because FUNDAMENTALLY that is all about EMOTION, which is what women REALLY are about, not sex.
You are talking to someone that knows a little about the pimp game dawg. Hos are usaully girls that have a low self-esteem and usaully had a poor childhood. Girls like this fvck not because they like to fvck, but that's how they gain the feeling of acceptance, the love they're looking for, etc.
I mean dude, hop into reality for a minute, I really hope I'm not wasting my time with you because you're playing Devils Advocate..
Women can have sex without an orgasm and still enjoy it because for them it's an EMOTIONAL experience. For you to enter a womans body is an emotional experience for most of them, in a very special way. It's not such a physical thang. I'm tired of pounding keys pointing out one of the most obvious points in relationships....
Women sit around and talk about relationships, because FUNDAMENTALLY that is all about EMOTION, which is what women REALLY are about, not sex.
You are talking to someone that knows a little about the pimp game dawg. Hos are usaully girls that have a low self-esteem and usaully had a poor childhood. Girls like this fvck not because they like to fvck, but that's how they gain the feeling of acceptance, the love they're looking for, etc.
I mean dude, hop into reality for a minute, I really hope I'm not wasting my time with you because you're playing Devils Advocate..
Women can have sex without an orgasm and still enjoy it because for them it's an EMOTIONAL experience. For you to enter a womans body is an emotional experience for most of them, in a very special way. It's not such a physical thang. I'm tired of pounding keys pointing out one of the most obvious points in relationships....
Aramas, what the hell are you talking about??
you keeep straying from the topic at hand and reverting to how we men are so enraptured with the DJ forums and the tips that are traded.
This is not so much a topic on "how to get laid in 60 seconds" as it is a discussion on why girls like guys who disempower women as a "filter" process
call me any name u want, AFC, dweeb, dork etc
but I see women as Always on the hunt for a guy who can take away their sexual powers, and when they prove that their seductive powers are degraded, thats when they become the more sexually interested
Its like a womans way to know if sex is all a guy is interested in, if you give into her seductivness, you FAIL
because a milllion guys are after the same thing..but once you disarm her and dont care, or have different options, you become the most attractoive guy in the world
please, we are just all trying to learn here, no need to cut anyone down
you keeep straying from the topic at hand and reverting to how we men are so enraptured with the DJ forums and the tips that are traded.
This is not so much a topic on "how to get laid in 60 seconds" as it is a discussion on why girls like guys who disempower women as a "filter" process
call me any name u want, AFC, dweeb, dork etc
but I see women as Always on the hunt for a guy who can take away their sexual powers, and when they prove that their seductive powers are degraded, thats when they become the more sexually interested
Its like a womans way to know if sex is all a guy is interested in, if you give into her seductivness, you FAIL
because a milllion guys are after the same thing..but once you disarm her and dont care, or have different options, you become the most attractoive guy in the world
please, we are just all trying to learn here, no need to cut anyone down
lol - I really can't hold a conversation with someone that uses the words 'pimp' and 'ho' in earnest
What I'm trying to get across is that it's not about power, and it never was. It's about responsibility. I can understand that people might see it that way, but what people percieve as a power struggle is just the aftermath of fvcking things up. If you fall out of a canoe then it's a struggle to get back in, but that's just the result of fvcking up, not an inherent vice of canoes.
If you initiate and maintain a tie with a woman, and fulfill the role that she requires, then there is no power struggle involved, because that's exactly what they're looking for. They want someone to be the man and do the things that they believe men should do (and what we have evolved to do). It's not really a matter of dominating a chick in the broader sense - it's dominance in a very specific way. It's essentially taking the role of the protector in the sense that she feels that whatever obstacles present themselves in the course of your possible relationship, you will take care of it so that she doesn't have to worry. She has to see you as competent. There's also sexual dominance, which is important, but usually the mistakes are made long before you get her in the sack.
It's also an unconscious thing, so she doesn't actually think about it - if she does she usually attributes it to something else. That's why we percieve chicks as being obtuse (you know, the old 'what's wrong' thing). The thing is, all they know is that you're not fulfilling their needs. They usually have no idea why, so they bytch and moan about petty unrelated things and guys usually don't have a clue what they're on about. But once you understand just how simple and basic a woman's needs are, then there's no reason to regularly find yourself in that situation, and when you do, you look at what could be the real cause rather than the conscious red flags that the chick is giving you.
When you fail to meet her requirements, then in their eyes you're a loser, but because chicks know how stupid we can be about such things, they give us another chance, and another - if we had to get it right first time then we'd be extinct Hell, some guys spend their whole lives in a relationship with a chick that thinks he's inadequate and they don't have a clue why, and the chick keeps giving him more chances to step up to the plate and shoulder his responsibilities. This is the part that you guys seem to see as a power struggle or a shyt test, but seeing it in that way puts a negative spin on something that's actually positive. If you fail an exam and they tell you you can do it again, then it's a good thing, right? It's just an opportunity to put things right. It's not about power, it's about taking on the required role and shouldering our responsibilities.
You might think that I'm just splitting hairs by claiming it's not about power, but it really isn't at all. It's not even about sex unless you're blowing it in the sack as well. You have to put fuel and oil in a car, and make sure it's regularly serviced or it turns to crap - same with women - if you take care of their basic needs then everything goes smoothly. Once you understand that then there's no reason to ever 'struggle' again. When there's a problem, figure out what it is and fix it.
What I'm trying to get across is that it's not about power, and it never was. It's about responsibility. I can understand that people might see it that way, but what people percieve as a power struggle is just the aftermath of fvcking things up. If you fall out of a canoe then it's a struggle to get back in, but that's just the result of fvcking up, not an inherent vice of canoes.
If you initiate and maintain a tie with a woman, and fulfill the role that she requires, then there is no power struggle involved, because that's exactly what they're looking for. They want someone to be the man and do the things that they believe men should do (and what we have evolved to do). It's not really a matter of dominating a chick in the broader sense - it's dominance in a very specific way. It's essentially taking the role of the protector in the sense that she feels that whatever obstacles present themselves in the course of your possible relationship, you will take care of it so that she doesn't have to worry. She has to see you as competent. There's also sexual dominance, which is important, but usually the mistakes are made long before you get her in the sack.
It's also an unconscious thing, so she doesn't actually think about it - if she does she usually attributes it to something else. That's why we percieve chicks as being obtuse (you know, the old 'what's wrong' thing). The thing is, all they know is that you're not fulfilling their needs. They usually have no idea why, so they bytch and moan about petty unrelated things and guys usually don't have a clue what they're on about. But once you understand just how simple and basic a woman's needs are, then there's no reason to regularly find yourself in that situation, and when you do, you look at what could be the real cause rather than the conscious red flags that the chick is giving you.
When you fail to meet her requirements, then in their eyes you're a loser, but because chicks know how stupid we can be about such things, they give us another chance, and another - if we had to get it right first time then we'd be extinct
Hell, some guys spend their whole lives in a relationship with a chick that thinks he's inadequate and they don't have a clue why, and the chick keeps giving him more chances to step up to the plate and shoulder his responsibilities. This is the part that you guys seem to see as a power struggle or a shyt test, but seeing it in that way puts a negative spin on something that's actually positive. If you fail an exam and they tell you you can do it again, then it's a good thing, right? It's just an opportunity to put things right. It's not about power, it's about taking on the required role and shouldering our responsibilities.You might think that I'm just splitting hairs by claiming it's not about power, but it really isn't at all. It's not even about sex unless you're blowing it in the sack as well. You have to put fuel and oil in a car, and make sure it's regularly serviced or it turns to crap - same with women - if you take care of their basic needs then everything goes smoothly. Once you understand that then there's no reason to ever 'struggle' again. When there's a problem, figure out what it is and fix it.
Blurred Elevens
Don Juan
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Aramas and ManOman-would you guys tell me what you think of my situation in this thread?
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=43779
I respect both of your opinions, thanks.
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=43779
I respect both of your opinions, thanks.
TesuqueRed
Master Don Juan
I feel like I'm hearing French and English conversations being spoken at the same time.
MoM has something valid he's observed and worked with---I feel it's a tight-beamed spotlight that's he's put on it, but that's how you develop: by over-focusing on something until you ingest it and it becomes part of the package.
Sure, I'll go along with where he's going.
Aramas jumps in and is quite intelligent and seemingly reasoned in his/her objections.
Yet--I've had this feeling before watching back-n-forth discussions like this--I get the sense that Aramas' take on MoM's thread--shyt, I bet his definition for every significant word MoM used--is different than MoM intended, or what I took away from it.
Like I said, I feel like I'm hearing French and English being spoken at the same time. Give MoM the benefit of the doubt, he's working from experience and he's onto something. "Dominance" is a legit and valid part of male-female interaction. I'd refer you to those who "top" and those who "bottom" if you've ever stepped into the alt-sexual community. And being a "man" or "taking responsibility" is entirely valid--but it's an entirely different discussion.
MoM has something valid he's observed and worked with---I feel it's a tight-beamed spotlight that's he's put on it, but that's how you develop: by over-focusing on something until you ingest it and it becomes part of the package.
Sure, I'll go along with where he's going.
Aramas jumps in and is quite intelligent and seemingly reasoned in his/her objections.
Yet--I've had this feeling before watching back-n-forth discussions like this--I get the sense that Aramas' take on MoM's thread--shyt, I bet his definition for every significant word MoM used--is different than MoM intended, or what I took away from it.
Like I said, I feel like I'm hearing French and English being spoken at the same time. Give MoM the benefit of the doubt, he's working from experience and he's onto something. "Dominance" is a legit and valid part of male-female interaction. I'd refer you to those who "top" and those who "bottom" if you've ever stepped into the alt-sexual community. And being a "man" or "taking responsibility" is entirely valid--but it's an entirely different discussion.
trevor2003
Don Juan
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I gotta say, this has been a great discussion! I actually really enjoyed reading every reply! Very interesting stuff!
ManOMan, I agree with everything you said! You got this stuff down to a science!
ManOMan, I agree with everything you said! You got this stuff down to a science!
MysteryWoman
Master Don Juan
No alot of women can have sex with out emotional attachement, I am one of them. But men can do it more. I am a slut. a selective slut, sluts have fun! Good girls end up washing socks and faking orgasms
Tao of Steve
Don Juan
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