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Why I am Taking a Break From the Club Scene

trickynick

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For most of the last two years of my life (ever since I turned 21), bars and clubs have been my primary market for meeting and picking up women. I would occasionally score a one-nighter, or meet a girl that I would go on a few dates with and one of these girls became my girlfriend for several months.

The reason I was so fond of these enviornments is that they were easy for me. It fit into my lifestyle because I liked to drink, dance, play pool, just hang out with my friends and have a beer and just in general doing what people do in bars and clubs. I also found it to be a place where it was pretty accepable and normal to talk to someone I didn't know. I became an expert on the nightlife in my city and went clubbing and bar-hopping frequently. I have had great fun but it has had it's drawbacks.

Now that I am on fire with confidence and want to diversify the demographics targeted by my DJ skills and mentality, I have found the club scene to be limiting. I want to focus primarily on girls ratable above 8. Girls who are this attractive have their gaurd up when they go to a club, totally prepared to fend off an endless array of men who will approach them. The barriers that these girls are forced to put up in order not to be completely swamped for the entire time they are at the club make it such that it can very difficult even for DJ's to penetrate. I am no longer content in the slightest to waste my time with average girls because I know now that so much more is available to me. For the purposes of gathering data to support this, I posted this thread asking DJ's where they met the women they have been successful with that they will rate as 8 or above. If you take a look, you will see that clubs were not popular for this purpose.

There are other reasons I am taking a break from the nightlife. It gets EXPENSIVE!!! It's depressing to think of what I could have done with the money I have pissed away at those places in the last two years. Clubbing with great frequency also can disrupt rythms and sleeping patterns, it turned me into a night owl. It did not help that I had an unstructured job that allowed me to come and go as I pleased.

Looking back on the last two years of my life with the insight of having been here I now realize that being as into the club scene as I was put me in a mindset that I now know was flawed. When I felt like I needed to get laid or needed some more prospects, I would always think "I guess I am going out to the clubs tonight." How wrong was I to think like that. Was I blind to the fact that women were all around me in places I would go every day? And these were women that were going about their normal business and did not have all barriers put up like they would in a dance club were everone is constantly trying to size each other up.

Being a DJ is about being ready to work your magic whenever you have the opportunity and I had been waiting until I got to the club to do what I should have been ready to do at any time.

[This message has been edited by trickynick (edited 01-22-2002).]
 

Powertrip

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Nick, if you nail down any concrete places to go, please let me know. I've been thinking the same thing (almost the same age as you) about the higher-caliber women and pissed away money. Unfortunately out where I live, it's mainly geared toward a club/bar scene and most of the women just stay home any other night.

I am thinking about enrolling in school again.. I left before I was even close to being a DJ, now that I think back how I could've had my pick, its a little frustrating.

I couldnt see any places that were really condusive to picking up women in the thread.. confidence is one thing, but a window of opportunity is just as important. The good part about clubs is that you know they arent with anyone else (friends aside), and can kind of use a shotgun approach until you hit something, tie it to your bumper and drag it home. But again, let me know, I'm insanely curious about your experiment.

-Chris
 

trickynick

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Powertrip,

I'll definitely keep you posted on this. I am in school myself, but I am in an engineering program where I am taking mainly math, discrete mathematics, and computational and logical theory. Not the best classes for meeting chicks.

I know at least in my case that what I am talking about can be done because I live in quite a cosmopolitain (though not huge) city that has a lot of different possiblities for meeting women. I'll let you know what I turn up.

One idea I have had that I have not acted on yet is to go to those bookstores that have coffee shops connected which are becoming increasingly common at least around here. I can stroll through the bookstore and look at things I am interested in but at the same time keeping my eye out on what women are around. Once I find one I could make up some bs question about the material she's reading and go "excuse me maybe you know this...(my questions)". If I am successful in starting a conversation, I could lead right into an immediate priming date by asking if she would like to join me in the coffee shop.

Just an idea, more will come I'm sure.
 

Powertrip

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I've spent quite a bit of time in bookstores with coffee shops attached (i.e. Barnes & Noble) and I think you're on the right track. However, there are a couple of downsides. 1)most of the girls arent shopping by themselves and 2)sometimes they go there not intending to talk to anyone (hence, you're staring at that wall again). Maybe I'm just making excuses, but that's what I see- a hard sell. A library might be a better resource.

I'm thinking any sort of sports class (be it golf, yoga, whatever) would be a better step. Social situation (open) and an intimate setting (meaning a limited number of people). But again, if there isnt anything appealing in there, you're stuck.

One more thought just crossed my mind.. years ago my parents joined a volleyball team and it turned out that several girls from my graduating class were in there.. Another way to go? Possibly. I've been going to the driving range for the past 6 months (3 times a week) and havent turned up a thing (but I'm really good now!). Maybe I'll check out a few others soon and see what the deal is.

-Chris
 

trickynick

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When I am at the driving range I tend to be to busy working on my game (my golf game that is). If I think about anything else (chicks included unfortunately), I get distracted and it screws me up. I have to golf decently for work so I have to be focused.

[This message has been edited by trickynick (edited 01-22-2002).]
 

Powertrip

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Very true, I was just bringing it up as a possible meeting spot, and since it seems like everytime I meet a girl and tell her I'm into golfing, she mentions going to the driving range recently. Funny part is, I've never seen any of them there. <shrug>

I'll shut my trap now, just let me know what you turn up!
 

trickynick

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Originally posted by Powertrip:
Very true, I was just bringing it up as a possible meeting spot, and since it seems like everytime I meet a girl and tell her I'm into golfing, she mentions going to the driving range recently. Funny part is, I've never seen any of them there. <shrug>

I'll shut my trap now, just let me know what you turn up!

That's funny, I've noticed that too. Maybe I am so into my game that I don't notice.


[This message has been edited by trickynick (edited 01-22-2002).]
 

Powertrip

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Nick, I'm almost thinking about taking a break from this site.. I havent gotten anywhere with these methods (and believe me, I used to get a lot of places- many times over - with little effort). The fact that two girls flaked on me this week is enough to raise a red flag in my mind and go back to my non-AFC, non DJ, ways.

Since you seem to be on the same level, am I off base or is there a another realm of DJ? This crap seems so minor-league.

-Chris
 

trickynick

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Originally posted by Powertrip:
Nick, I'm almost thinking about taking a break from this site.. I havent gotten anywhere with these methods (and believe me, I used to get a lot of places- many times over - with little effort). The fact that two girls flaked on me this week is enough to raise a red flag in my mind and go back to my non-AFC, non DJ, ways.

Since you seem to be on the same level, am I off base or is there a another realm of DJ? This crap seems so minor-league.

-Chris
No dude, stay! Two girls flaking on you has nothing to do with anything. Don't let the actions of two girls question your principles. This stuff works, stick with it. And what's minor league about it?
 

BushHound

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Originally posted by trickynick:
Powertrip,

I am in school myself, but I am in an engineering program where I am taking mainly math, discrete mathematics, and computational and logical theory.
Yo Tricky.

I'm 24 and finished my engineering program last June. I know there aren't any girls in your classes man, but I've got bad news. Once you get a job, it only gets worse. Use this as a little incentive for meetin those chickies now. If your school is large, hang out by the nursing/education building or whatever.

Also, good place I've found to meet women is the gym. Put on some muscle and meet women.
 

Powertrip

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Maybe I was over-reacting.. I guess only one flaked (the other called today and explained herself). It still bothers me though, mainly because instead of going with my gut- like I am successful at- I've been over-analyzing every movement/moment to try and get with the program.

I'm just going to follow my intuition and instincts from now on, it has served me well in the past.

I'm more of a DJ than I could ever hope to be.. if that makes any sense.


-Chris
 

trickynick

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Originally posted by BushHound:
Yo Tricky.

I'm 24 and finished my engineering program last June. I know there aren't any girls in your classes man, but I've got bad news. Once you get a job, it only gets worse. Use this as a little incentive for meetin those chickies now. If your school is large, hang out by the nursing/education building or whatever.

Also, good place I've found to meet women is the gym. Put on some muscle and meet women.
I have a job already, I work in the Automated Test Equipment industry as a software engineer. I don't care that there are no women to pick up on at work because I don't stick the pen in the company ink, that is crazy and stupid!
 

Interested2

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I took a break from clubs about 6 months ago. Reason? They really didnt work for me. I am older. But I agree about many wmone being defensive at clubs. I have found that. The only trouble I have that I dont get to meet many women - and clubs offer at least an opportunity. I know people talk about meeting people in bookstores etc but really in my country that is just not done. It is kind of considered rude to approach strangers like that. So I dont. Hence I dont get the chance to meet many women.
 

Chicken-Hawk

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Originally posted by Powertrip:
It still bothers me though, mainly because instead of going with my gut- like I am successful at- I've been over-analyzing every movement/moment to try and get with the program.

I'm just going to follow my intuition and instincts from now on, it has served me well in the past.

I'm more of a DJ than I could ever hope to be.. if that makes any sense.


-Chris
I think you're on to something here. I've tried to apply some of the techniques outlined here but they seemed stiff and fake when applied in real time. Still, there are a lot of interesting ideas here but they do take time to implement into your own style of doing things.

I do have one suggestion for meeting high quality women; find yourself a job where you move from place to place. I do a lot of computer work for private investors. This "roving" work puts me in contact with lots of women, especially the high quality ones that we all want. You can fish off the company pier since you really don't work there in the first place.

Besides, it's dumb to stay more that two or three years in one spot. You start to get complacent and brain dead. The "juice" just drains right out of you.

Think it over, maybe you can come up with something that would fit your situation.
 

Sir_Chancealot

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Originally posted by Powertrip:
Nick, I'm almost thinking about taking a break from this site.. I havent gotten anywhere with these methods (and believe me, I used to get a lot of places- many times over - with little effort). The fact that two girls flaked on me this week is enough to raise a red flag in my mind and go back to my non-AFC, non DJ, ways.

Since you seem to be on the same level, am I off base or is there a another realm of DJ? This crap seems so minor-league.

-Chris
Forgive me for asking, but if you "used to get a lot of places- many times over - with little effort", why would you even need to try out the DJ principles?
 

Chicken-Hawk

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I'll answer this;

It's because you always think that you could be a little bit better than you are now. Unfortunately, you overlook (or doubt) how good you already are.

My game has declined since coming here as well, mostly because of poor application. Man, but there sure is a lot of ideas here that I've never even THOUGHT of before. It'll take time to apply it.
 

Powertrip

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You hit the nail on the head, Chicken. I knew the "how" but not the "why". I'm slowly learning to apply some of the principals here to my actual relationships, rather than just shooting in the dark all the time. This kind of stuff isnt really taught (except here) and anything I've done has been learned from friends or experience.

It IS work, however, and I start second-guessing myself a lot of the time.

-Chris
 

Teddybear666

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Here's my take on the Clubbing scene

I consider it all tongue in cheek and go clubbin just for a good laugh. I get the occasional one night stand and also phone numbers which lead to dates and sex, but really i don't go out with that objective. I go out to have fun with my mates.

You can just muck around and have fun cracking onto girls. I mean who cares if you get rejected at a club ? the people around you surely don't ! but like if you got explicitly rejected trying to chat up a girl at a supermarket, i would find that hard !

as for the money aspect of things, we always start at someone's house and drink heaps before going clubbin, then it just takes a few top up drinks throughout the nite

BTW if you want another place to meet girls, try Ballroom dancing classes !
 

Iskandar Reza

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Originally posted by Powertrip:
Maybe I was over-reacting.. I guess only one flaked (the other called today and explained herself). It still bothers me though, mainly because instead of going with my gut- like I am successful at- I've been over-analyzing every movement/moment to try and get with the program.....
after a while these things will become second nature, and you analyze and recalibrate without thinking about it.

the tips here work. trust me. i was so afraid to approach girls before, waiting for any to say something to me first instead (all the way in high-school).

then after 4 weeks in college, i decided that this can't continue, and tried some of the stuff written here. Now after three semesters in college, other guys perceive me as a threat because i get along with girls so easily. they even started rumors that i'm a player, to ruin my good rep presumably.

just use whatever you learn here on every girl you meet, good looking or not, and if you have to analyze, always look on the bright side of whatever conclusions you draw.
 
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