Why does this keep happening when im on dates?

[Confused]

Listen to Alle Gory

 

[pikachu69]

Good you're getting it. Now don't lose hope. Like I said, you need experience.

Firstly you need to calm the fvck down. Chicks don't like guys to be more emotional then they are. You're supposed to be like a rock. Calm and collected when she goes nuts... because she's female and emotional. They crave that stability and its supposed to come from you, the man. So calm down and work through all that junk you have inside you. Don't try to supress it but rather understand why you're feeling that way (desperate, anxious, like you want to be super nice) and figure out whether its the right or the wrong thing for you to be feeling like.

Now as far as this girl, ok so she lost interest. So you take a step back and try again. Do not set up a date or any commitment. You're taking a step back and trying to sell your company to her again. What did you do before to get her interest? Before the date. Way before.

Do you have a solution for me alle?

 

[Alle_Gory]

Do you have a solution for me alle?

I won't tell you what to do.... unless you're WAY off. It's up to you to find a solution.

Now as far as this chick, who cares what she wants? She's not someone close to you so it shouldn't matter. Worry about yourself in the meantime and how you're supposed to be behaving with her as if she was a regular chick.

Like a regular chick, she wants to get f*cked. But not by anyone. Someone who is an attractive male. Not attractive. Attractive male. And that means treating her like she's female. Not a person. Female.

Lots of guys fall into the AFC trap because they think chicks want to be treated equally. They don't. Deep inside they don't. Which is why they fall for the jers and the a*holes. They treat them like women. Badly but at least they acknowledge their feminity... which is the most important thing in the world to them.

 

[pikachu69]

I won't tell you what to do.... unless you're WAY off. It's up to you to find a solution.

Now as far as this chick, who cares what she wants? She's not someone close to you so it shouldn't matter. Worry about yourself in the meantime and how you're supposed to be behaving with her as if she was a regular chick.

Like a regular chick, she wants to get f*cked. But not by anyone. Someone who is an attractive male. Not attractive. Attractive male. And that means treating her like she's female. Not a person. Female.

Lots of guys fall into the AFC trap because they think chicks want to be treated equally. They don't. Deep inside they don't. Which is why they fall for the jers and the a*holes. They treat them like women. Badly but at least they acknowledge their feminity... which is the most important thing in the world to them.

I hear what you're saying. Here's the plan, I'm going to look for other plates while keeping this 1 in mind. I saw her last thursday, did the obvious mistakes trying to set up a valentines date on the 1st date acted nervous etc. told her to let me know how her exam went she said she'd text me the next day how it went, she didn't. obvious sign of low/no interest. i should keep this in mind, really, she should be the 1 to contact me right?

this is where i'm conflicted, i'm the man, i should be the 1 to make the call for the 2nd date. she seems like the type of girl who won't answer the phone (whether she's busy or doesn't want to) may feel she'll return it later but then either forgets cos im not top priority due to low interest or changes her mind later. i dont want to have to call, and then send a text later say 2 days later.

i dont want to look like a desperate loser so it's 1 initiation of contact and that's it, then i'm done. im not going to be like these other guys who keep chasing her. given shes probably not going to take my call for whatever reason i'll have to send a text. do you have a suggestion which is better than my initial:

'hey sorry i haven't been in touch, i been really busy and out a lot but dont worry i haven't forgot about you. expect a msg from me tomorrow detailing our next excursion. trust me you'll like it. '

see i dont know if she'll reply to this or not. but its a test for me to see whether she's receptive to my advances. the plan would be to not send the text the next day to see if she'll come back with 'hey, u didn't text me yesterday, what are we doing?' i know im over thinking it and overanalyzing things but i need to test the water.

then the following day even if she doesn't reply i'll send the:

'hey you have 3 options: a)we go for another drink b)we go shopping (dont get too excited, it's for me, not you! haha or c)the mystery surprise option... choose wisely. let me know your decision by 12 tonight as i'll need to make arrangements.'

is putting a time constraint of when she needs to get back to me good? or should i put in somewhere that im busy also?

given i acted afc on the 1st date i need to demonstrate other qualities to intrigue her, some mystery to entice her again esp if she isn't going to pick up my call.

seeing as i saw her last thursday, valentines was sunday and realistically calls for a 2nd date would be 2-5 days after the 1st date and 7days max, i should contact with the 1st text 8 days after at the earliest, so thursday or friday.

do i kind of have the right idea behind what to do?

the bad thing is by doing this i cannot contact the other girl from the party who knows her now as i'll get caught. i'd have to finish with 1, then move on to the other.

side question. given that the other girl from the party was more into me but didn't agree to a drink with me for last week (god knows why, she said she had presentations to do and this week would be better) i mean she had the weekend to choose, work related stuff doesn't take up all your time, so i felt i was on the backburner and she met someone else. she cant make it seem i wasn't that into her or interested especially since i asked her out last week right? i'm not going to be bracketed and punished by her for not contacting her this week?

i'll know by the end of this week whether me and this original girl will be progressing so i guess i could contact any time this week and risk losing them both. if i want to be an aspiring DJ i shouldn't care if i lose them, i'll be able to replace them very easily.

 

[pikachu69]

It's none of your damned business.

What would you have done if she had said, "I have a boyfriend, but I'm OK with cheating on him", and then dropped her panties right there?

You probably would've f*cked her, right?

By correcting herself, she was saying that she was available to you. That's all you need to know. Whether or not some dude would be upset at her for it...that's HER business, not yours.

A girl's LTR-status does NOT always correlate to her "availability" for physical intimacy. It should, in a perfect world, but it doesn't. As the "Don Juan", you aren't trying to find out if someone else has a claim on her or not. What you're trying to find out is whether she is available to YOU.

You're using that ring-thing as an excuse for rejecting yourself and going on the defensive with this girl.

Don't excuse it...you f'd up. It's OKAY to F up...that's how we learn. Those first couple of dates are supposed to teach you what NOT to do. But if you sit around making excuses for why you did this and why you didn't do that, you're going to find some way to justify the SAME chumpish behavior with the NEXT girl...and that's not moving you closer to your goal.



Oh my dear God...how drunk WERE you when you posted this? It looks like a typewriter barfed on my screen. Words, sentences and paragraphs.

Although I only had to read the first 4 words to know that you're just digging yourself a deeper hole. Tex of 'hey sorry ....weak-sauce. Give up on this one and learn your lesson for the next.

Valentine's Day?? Jeezus.

Should I just not bother calling her then and move onto the other girl from the party?

 

[pikachu69]

I won't tell you what to do.... unless you're WAY off. It's up to you to find a solution.

Now as far as this chick, who cares what she wants? She's not someone close to you so it shouldn't matter. Worry about yourself in the meantime and how you're supposed to be behaving with her as if she was a regular chick.

Like a regular chick, she wants to get f*cked. But not by anyone. Someone who is an attractive male. Not attractive. Attractive male. And that means treating her like she's female. Not a person. Female.

Lots of guys fall into the AFC trap because they think chicks want to be treated equally. They don't. Deep inside they don't. Which is why they fall for the jers and the a*holes. They treat them like women. Badly but at least they acknowledge their feminity... which is the most important thing in the world to them.

do you think the text im considering sending in my post above is a bad idea?

i dont like how i'm starting off with 'sorry for not being in touch..' i dont want to apologise but i dont know how else to word it better.. maybe with 'my bad for not being in touch.'

 

[Alle_Gory]

Don't apologize unless you believe you did something wrong.

Did she contact you? Then forget her.

 

[pikachu69]

Don't apologize unless you believe you did something wrong.

Did she contact you? Then forget her.

Well not calling within the normal 2-5 day time frame for a 2nd date could be considered as doing something wrong?

it just creates the facade im not a desperate loser and she's still in my thoughts but i wasn't going to call so soon.

i haven't called her yet. i dont know when is the best time to do it.

 

[FunnyMan]

Well not calling within the normal 2-5 day time frame for a 2nd date could be considered as doing something wrong?

it just creates the facade im not a desperate loser and she's still in my thoughts but i wasn't going to call so soon.

i haven't called her yet. i dont know when is the best time to do it.

Yeah but when you are thinking about her 24/7 and posting on this board about her, when you finally talk to her you will sound like a desperate loser, she will know

 

[Alle_Gory]

Well not calling within the normal 2-5 day time frame for a 2nd date could be considered as doing something wrong?

Nope.

You have no obligation to her. If you do, then its something wrong. Did you make an agreement that you will call every 2-5 days?

 

[pikachu69]

This is depressing everytime I get a few HBs I lose 2 of them, left with 1 anse her as and I havenoa why. Its becoming so predictive its frustrating. Its like I'm bracing myself for disappointment. You would think by law of averages I'd get the 3rd 1 if I have 3 and lost 2.

Anyway I texted the other girl from the party who I had to follow up with from last week her text of

'hey can't do this week so next is best? I got a few presentations to do s its all abit crazy. Talk next week. X'

this was last tuesday so I made mistake of not calling instead of texting seeing as it was such a long time period in between contact rapport was lost. She's frustrating cos she plays it so cool and doesn't text me back for ages maybe 24 hrs so arranging something is impossible. So i waited till tuesday to text just to make it seem i was waiting till the beginning of the week i.e. monday to contact her cos i was wary of looking desperate

'hey. Hope your non shopping this month is going well. I'm sure you'll still find something to wear to impress me for our drink from your extensive wardrobe! Haha'

i send this at 11pm, which was too late, and she waited exactly 1 hour to text me back at midnight, the timing of it seemed too contrived that i thought she's playing phone games. but it was muted her response 'extensive? i wish. hope your well and enjoying the loveley weather.' no kiss at the end.

i was a little suirprised she made no mention about the drink.

so i waited till 10am the next morning i.e. yesterday to send this 'i'm sure you'll look stunning regardless let me distract u from the weather with a night of stimulating convo then. i'm busy tonight but hows tomorrow or sunday?'

now i expected her to respond at least yesterday but she hasnt! and i have no idea why??

she was really into me at the party so i never expected this. she doesnt know about the other girl, not yet anyway given she replied to me 2 nights ago. is it likely she started seeing someone else hence why she didn't see me last week?

i did think it was a bit fishy why even if she had presentations why she couldn't offer 1 of the weekend nights to come out for a drink. granted sunday was valentines and i said i was busy friday so you'd think she'd offer a day ratehr than just 'next week is best?'

i felt strung along, unless of course thats a test to see if you'll follow up and if you do you look weak cos you're chasing. i haven't got a clue why she hasn't text me back i find it disrespectful.

if she has the audacity to text me today for tonight i'll say i've made plans already cos she's disrespected my time.

is the likelyhood she's met someone else already? i cant explain why she'd not be interested anymore, she was all over me at the party. this was 2 weeks ago though.

 

[Alle_Gory]

You're way off dude. You'll learn.

 

[Stéphane]

Your overanalyzing this with everyone if a girl is acting like a silent *****, you ignore her and make things awkward.

Trust me if the silence is awkward the girl will certainly bring up a conversation.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Pikachu:

Dude you are so far up your own @ss that you can't even see how desperate and clingy you are to all these girls. I'm making a list for you and you need to understand it or you'll never be successful with women:


1) Just because a girl gives you her number DOES NOT mean she likes you and wants to go out with you.

2) When a girl agrees to go out with you; she is interested on some level of getting to know you better. However if you run into trouble scheduling a second date after the first one, you know your problem lies on that first date. Fix that by becoming smooth and better at conversation. All great seducers know how to lead a conversation and make the girl horny.

3) Don't EVER send that "I'm sorry I haven't been in touch I've been so busy" text EVER AGAIN! Its so contrived and makes you look even worse because its obvious your trying to save face and look cool.... its makes you look like a douche.

4) Learn to walk away and read the signs when a girl is not interested. If she doesn't respond to your texts in a timely manner, if she ignores you asking her out, if she doesn't respond at all..... SHE'S NOT INTERESTED! Women love attention, even from guys they'd never sleep with, so if she responds to a text you send her it DOES NOT mean she likes you.

5) Instead of creating a fake image as a busy fun guy, BECOME a busy, fun guy. Women seeing you with other women will do nothing but make them more intrigued and interested in you.

6) When talking to a HB, only talk about things that the two of you can talk about; talking to her about her major, her grades, her car etc is not going to get you in her pants. Its all a facade to pretend like you care anyways. Flirt with her, excite her and watch her melt in your hand like a fuvkin' M&M.

7) MOST IMPORTANT ONE; STOP OVER-ANALYZING!!!! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you over-analyzing when to text a girl by saying you should wait 8 days between the first date and second text blah blah blah! You can't be fuvkin' serious!!!

----------------------------------------------


Your main problem is your somewhat delusional. I don't say that to be a d-ick, I'm saying it to teach you. You think these girls are playing games with you, when in reality they're not interested in the least bit. You are the leaf on the bottom of their shoe, the fly on the screen door. Sure your there, but they don't notice you because you have not made yourself the prize, the catch, the one.

My guess is you come off as awkward, nothing flows and it makes the encounter weird. Girls feel comfort when your confident and relaxed. When your over-analyzing and stressing they pick up these vibes.

You have a lot of work to do. I'd start off by reading the DJ Bible and STOP stressing. If you've already read the Bible, read it again, cuz you need it bad. Work on yourself.... Are you in great physical shape? Do you work out? Do you have nice teeth? Do you wear clothes that look good on you? Do you take care of your skin? This all might sound retarded, but its all things you have within your control to improve. Remember looks aren't everything, but if you look your best, you'll feel your best and when you feel your best you are confident.


PS: Get over these two w-hores, they aren't interested, so move on and delete their numbers. And look at them as a learning experience that will make you better in the future as long as you don't keep making the same mistakes over and over.....




PIMP

 

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