Herb
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2016
- Messages
- 78
- Reaction score
- 18
- Age
- 34
Let's face it, realistically speaking, at some point, especially for guys that are not quite the smooth Don Juans they aspire to be with women yet, they're going to make some mistakes in handling a girl, either by teasing or negging the wrong way or just saying something dumb or odd accidentally. I know this may go against the whole “game” mentality on here, but how should situations be handled where you know you said something to rub a girl the wrong way, when you first get to know her? Or just said something likely perceived as weird or off-putting, even though you didn't mean it that way. Especially through text, where tone is not easily conveyed? I feel like either way you go, you run the risk of going wrong, and there isn't a right answer. I hesitate at trying to explain or apologize for things like that for several reasons. One, it makes you look weak, needy, uncertain and not manly. Two, especially if they didn't reply to the last thing you sent, it doesn't look good sending another one or two messages or some lengthy paragraph explaining what you actually meant to say, or that you were kidding, or worded it wrong.
But at the same time, if you don't say anything to clarify a potential misunderstanding, you run the risk of her just thinking you're a jerk or a weirdo, and will also cause her to stop replying and lose interest. It's like you're screwed if you do, screwed if you don't. How should one approach this? It's unfortunately happened to me on more occasions than I'd like to admit, partly the result of having a “quirkier” personality I guess you could say, and trying to make things interesting in a convo but coming across the wrong way. I'd imagine some people would just suggest calling her, but that is if she'd even pick up.
I mean the apologizing or clarifying thing has actually worked for me at times, but only with girls that I actually had a long history with, not ones that I didn't know well. Obviously they had little emotional connection or attachment yet so they could easily move on in these situations.
Should you really just automatically give up on and 'next' a girl that you do this with, even if it was one innocent comment that was misconstrued? I mean I'm sure some guys on here will say, a girl like that wasn't gonna be good with you anyway, move on, but what if there was actual potential there and simply by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time (yes women are fickle and often overly sensitive), you screwed up something that could have been good? And by no means do I believe there is a special "one" out there for everyone (despite this post I've learned not to hang on too much to one girl), and technically everyone could probably be compatible with anyone else given the right circumstances, but still. Just curious.
But at the same time, if you don't say anything to clarify a potential misunderstanding, you run the risk of her just thinking you're a jerk or a weirdo, and will also cause her to stop replying and lose interest. It's like you're screwed if you do, screwed if you don't. How should one approach this? It's unfortunately happened to me on more occasions than I'd like to admit, partly the result of having a “quirkier” personality I guess you could say, and trying to make things interesting in a convo but coming across the wrong way. I'd imagine some people would just suggest calling her, but that is if she'd even pick up.
I mean the apologizing or clarifying thing has actually worked for me at times, but only with girls that I actually had a long history with, not ones that I didn't know well. Obviously they had little emotional connection or attachment yet so they could easily move on in these situations.
Should you really just automatically give up on and 'next' a girl that you do this with, even if it was one innocent comment that was misconstrued? I mean I'm sure some guys on here will say, a girl like that wasn't gonna be good with you anyway, move on, but what if there was actual potential there and simply by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time (yes women are fickle and often overly sensitive), you screwed up something that could have been good? And by no means do I believe there is a special "one" out there for everyone (despite this post I've learned not to hang on too much to one girl), and technically everyone could probably be compatible with anyone else given the right circumstances, but still. Just curious.