Upside
Senior Don Juan
I have been reading a lot of roissy lately (http://roissy.wordpress.com/) and have been perusing over the DJ Bible again and other need-to-read topics to get a bit of a refresher. There are always one or two pieces of information I may have glimpsed over in the past that I notice now that will continue to help me become a better man and lover. While there are many things that I do that this site preaches such as not being needy, don't put her on a pedestal, and the like I couldn't but help but feel this time around that despite everything I know and have available to me there is still a sense of what I am doing is still "not good enough." I have seen other posters state that because the Alpha behavior is not ingrained as a mindset like naturals, it can feel fake and robotic behaving abnormaly to what has been normal behavior in the past. Become what you do right? But sometimes what I want to do is contradictory to what some might deem is Alpha behavior. (Alpha is in the eye of the beholder, beauty is in the eye of...blah blah blah. Just using these terms for simplicity sake.) The thing is if I want to act more naturally, some of the Alpha behavior takes a backseat. I sometimes behave like an AFC, because the Alpha behavior makes me feel like what the point of it all is if I don't get any enjoyment out of it.
Roissy has an article mentioning how guys who leave right after having sex with a girl or even in the middle of the night display higher value (which is heavily preached) and thus an Alpha male would not bother cuddling and staying over to create tension and look like he doesn't need the sappy emotional crap. Well $hit looks like I failed here. First time I had sex with my girlfriend I held her for a bit, I stayed until I woke up, talked for a bit, and left. I'll be honest with myself and I actually do enjoy holding the chick. Well maybe exceptions can be made for relationships. Nope, I fvcked her on the first date and held her like an LTR. Something an Alpha wouldn't do, but I didn't really care.
This site and Roissy have a whole section dedicated to what guys should say in respone to "I have a boyfriend" when getting a number or whatever. I'll save you all the ****y & funny responses and whatever for the actual threads, but despite knowing that girls use the phrase to politely reject or for guys to use a comebacker to get her to go out with you regardless if she was telling the truth or not, I don't bother at all. Sometime in January I asked for a chicks number and she gave me the ole' boyfriend line and I told her to enjoy the rest of her night and I left. I thought about what I learned and I just didn't care. I didn't want to be THAT guy and if you lie to me in the first 20 minutes I really have no business getting to know a liar like that even more. Sure I wanted to get laid and could have done the Alpha thing to try, but I didn't want to. The natural in me overcame my Alpha knowledge.
To go off on a tangent though, it is $hit like that though that kind of disgusts me. I sure as hell hope my girlfriend wouldn't be so easily swayed to some dude saying:
Girl: “I have a boyfriend.”
Man: “Hey, my dog can juggle.”
Girl: “What?”
Man: “I’m sorry, I thought we were talking about **** that didn’t matter.”
Girl: "Hahahahaha"
Then again, it is Alpha behavior. I mean...really? I get it, I understand what is happening. Hell, I would think the girl is smart enough to understand what the guy is trying to do. It just seems so stupid to me. Heh, but it does work. Not fool proof, but enough to the point where it can be in the archieve section of this forum. Then again, if my own girlfriend had her interest that low to be swayed to begin with, the dude just accelerated the cheat and dump process anyway with nothing I can do. Sure I can behave more Alpha and stop spending nights with her, but where is the fun in that?
Because of what I know, I can't help but disect everything. When I see a couple I never even met in public, I look for body language, energy, sexual vibes, and all of that $hit to determine if it is a happy or sad relationship. Silly right? I kind of think in my head as to what the guy should do and if he does I give him like a mental high five. I use the situations of different people to determine what I would personally do. Always be gaming. I don't think of it as two people spending time together, but more of a scientific observation these days. Every text I send, every phone call, every word I can't help but dissect if I was behaving like a chump or a DJ. I have seen my GF get hit on by guys and I do watch. I'm more interested in how she reacts than how the guys try to get her. I'll be honest, a part of me likes it, and a part of me really doesn't. I never interject. I leave her alone until she comes back to me or maybe she might not :nervous: Haha. One time my GF was getting hit on and I got a girl I just met to buy me a drink. Then I fvcked my GF and cuddled. I seem to be a mix of alpha and beta. Or maybe I have the wrong perception of myself.
I am struggling to find a balance between the Alpha and DJ knowledge that I possess versus the natural "beta" that resides in me. I come here to become a natural Alpha but when the two collide I try and determine what behavior gives me the most enjoyment, and beta normally wins. I say emotional crap I shouldn't say, I text crap I normally wouldn't text, I behave like a beta at times when I know the alpha way is best. Despite knowing better, I don't use the knowledge handed down from those wisemen before me. I honestly wish I could word this better in a way for those of you reading to understand where I am coming from. I want to look my girlfriend in the eye and tell her, "You're fvcking awesome" without looking like a chump. I want to do typical chumpish $hit at times, but not lose the alpha essence. It sounds impossible. So in a way I tell myself that a lot of alpha behavior would make up for a little beta.
The thing is, I can get chicks at this point in my life. I can't get all of them, I can't even get 10% of them. But I know that as long as I try I won't go years without getting laid. I want to be the DJ and Alpha guy who the chicks desire to **** and spend time with. I don't want to be taken for some chump who any chick just throws away likes a used tampon. If and/or when I break up with my current girlfriend, I want her to do it not because she lacks respect for me. Just a genuine realization that as two people we are not compatible.
I am not always 100% "on" and if my game is just a little off then $hit will hit the fan. I think I might be looking at my entire view of relationships and dating a bit unrealistically. Then again, when I first came to this site my mind was blown. But sometimes when I read roissy I can't help but feel like I'm the one doing something wrong if I fail to be 100% alpha and that I will always be destined to fail with girls.
Roissy has an article mentioning how guys who leave right after having sex with a girl or even in the middle of the night display higher value (which is heavily preached) and thus an Alpha male would not bother cuddling and staying over to create tension and look like he doesn't need the sappy emotional crap. Well $hit looks like I failed here. First time I had sex with my girlfriend I held her for a bit, I stayed until I woke up, talked for a bit, and left. I'll be honest with myself and I actually do enjoy holding the chick. Well maybe exceptions can be made for relationships. Nope, I fvcked her on the first date and held her like an LTR. Something an Alpha wouldn't do, but I didn't really care.
This site and Roissy have a whole section dedicated to what guys should say in respone to "I have a boyfriend" when getting a number or whatever. I'll save you all the ****y & funny responses and whatever for the actual threads, but despite knowing that girls use the phrase to politely reject or for guys to use a comebacker to get her to go out with you regardless if she was telling the truth or not, I don't bother at all. Sometime in January I asked for a chicks number and she gave me the ole' boyfriend line and I told her to enjoy the rest of her night and I left. I thought about what I learned and I just didn't care. I didn't want to be THAT guy and if you lie to me in the first 20 minutes I really have no business getting to know a liar like that even more. Sure I wanted to get laid and could have done the Alpha thing to try, but I didn't want to. The natural in me overcame my Alpha knowledge.
To go off on a tangent though, it is $hit like that though that kind of disgusts me. I sure as hell hope my girlfriend wouldn't be so easily swayed to some dude saying:
Girl: “I have a boyfriend.”
Man: “Hey, my dog can juggle.”
Girl: “What?”
Man: “I’m sorry, I thought we were talking about **** that didn’t matter.”
Girl: "Hahahahaha"
Then again, it is Alpha behavior. I mean...really? I get it, I understand what is happening. Hell, I would think the girl is smart enough to understand what the guy is trying to do. It just seems so stupid to me. Heh, but it does work. Not fool proof, but enough to the point where it can be in the archieve section of this forum. Then again, if my own girlfriend had her interest that low to be swayed to begin with, the dude just accelerated the cheat and dump process anyway with nothing I can do. Sure I can behave more Alpha and stop spending nights with her, but where is the fun in that?
Because of what I know, I can't help but disect everything. When I see a couple I never even met in public, I look for body language, energy, sexual vibes, and all of that $hit to determine if it is a happy or sad relationship. Silly right? I kind of think in my head as to what the guy should do and if he does I give him like a mental high five. I use the situations of different people to determine what I would personally do. Always be gaming. I don't think of it as two people spending time together, but more of a scientific observation these days. Every text I send, every phone call, every word I can't help but dissect if I was behaving like a chump or a DJ. I have seen my GF get hit on by guys and I do watch. I'm more interested in how she reacts than how the guys try to get her. I'll be honest, a part of me likes it, and a part of me really doesn't. I never interject. I leave her alone until she comes back to me or maybe she might not :nervous: Haha. One time my GF was getting hit on and I got a girl I just met to buy me a drink. Then I fvcked my GF and cuddled. I seem to be a mix of alpha and beta. Or maybe I have the wrong perception of myself.
I am struggling to find a balance between the Alpha and DJ knowledge that I possess versus the natural "beta" that resides in me. I come here to become a natural Alpha but when the two collide I try and determine what behavior gives me the most enjoyment, and beta normally wins. I say emotional crap I shouldn't say, I text crap I normally wouldn't text, I behave like a beta at times when I know the alpha way is best. Despite knowing better, I don't use the knowledge handed down from those wisemen before me. I honestly wish I could word this better in a way for those of you reading to understand where I am coming from. I want to look my girlfriend in the eye and tell her, "You're fvcking awesome" without looking like a chump. I want to do typical chumpish $hit at times, but not lose the alpha essence. It sounds impossible. So in a way I tell myself that a lot of alpha behavior would make up for a little beta.
The thing is, I can get chicks at this point in my life. I can't get all of them, I can't even get 10% of them. But I know that as long as I try I won't go years without getting laid. I want to be the DJ and Alpha guy who the chicks desire to **** and spend time with. I don't want to be taken for some chump who any chick just throws away likes a used tampon. If and/or when I break up with my current girlfriend, I want her to do it not because she lacks respect for me. Just a genuine realization that as two people we are not compatible.
I am not always 100% "on" and if my game is just a little off then $hit will hit the fan. I think I might be looking at my entire view of relationships and dating a bit unrealistically. Then again, when I first came to this site my mind was blown. But sometimes when I read roissy I can't help but feel like I'm the one doing something wrong if I fail to be 100% alpha and that I will always be destined to fail with girls.