What happened?

[kingwilliam]

Okay. So I met this beautiful little goddess the other night at a bar. We chatted and she gave me her number.

Over the next 4 or 5 days we talked a couple of times and sent a few text messages. I met her out one night at another place and we hung out and ended up making out, blah blah blah. She sent me text messages the next day saying how awesome last night was..............................so I invited her out for dinner/drinks a couple of nights later. We met up, went out, had drinks, laughed................went back to my place where I advised her not to drink and drive. She was fine with that. I got her into my bed and we were messin around pretty good. (use your imagination). There was little or no resistance when I undressed her. She was wetter than a river, and obviously very turned on.

Here is where I became an idiot:

It was very obvious that she wanted it.............for some fu%%ing reason, I told her maybe we should wait. Just so you guys know, this is literally the first time I have ever said that to a woman. She even seemed impressed by it.....or so I thought.

So anyway, the next day I sent her a text msg......no repsonse for a while. She eventually sent me a msg back saying that she had been busy....etc. Anyway, I could sense something wasn't the same........after a couple of days of vague communication, she sent me a msg saying that she was getting back with her ex.

This has totally confused the hell out of me. Is she

A. Really getting back with her ex
B. Offended that I didn't tap that fine little ass
C. I left her alone in my house for about an hour the next morning....did she snoop around and find something that caused this? i.e. porn, lube ....wtf

I can't figure it out.....

Edit: why did I want to wait? I actually liked this girl.......she was beautiful and intelligent (and she could play guitar better than me)

In retrospect, I wish I had nailed it over and over all night

 

[joekerr31]

heres the thing. its one thing to make a woman wait - that can increase IL.

that said, you don't get a girl naked, in your bed and be touching her up enough to know how wet she is and then say 'you know, let's hold off on this.'

dude, what are you thinking?!!! it's a very rude thing to do. she's probably pissed at you.

its the equivalent of a girl giving you a blow job and then just as your about to *** she goes 'you know, lets stop, we shouldn't do this."

she's p*ssed that she gave you the green light but you refused to go through the intersection.

if you're going to play the 'lets wait' card then keep her out of your bed.

anyway, while you can't figure out why she is behaving this way, she can't figure out why you are behaving the way you are. anyway, she finds it strange enough that you seem to have lost her IL.

move on to new plates.

 

[kingwilliam]

Thats what I figured.............I just needed someone to say it.

That being said, is there possibly away to salvage this??? Can it be done?

Although on her MySpace page she is listed as "in a relationship" as opposed to "single", which is the way it was a week ago. Damnit!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo KingWilliam,



Don't beat yourself up over this one, dude. Can't know for sure, but I'd guess that she was NEVER really interested in anything of substance in the first place. I think she might have indeed been on "a break" from her boyfriend when you two had your "thrill-ride week".

Your problem came in when you decided to treat her like she was "relationship material" instead of as a "pin cushion" (use YOUR imagination, my friend...lol). It COULD very well be that in THAT moment, her "clarity" returned and she reassessed her current relationship status----and CHOSE to get back with her ex.

Now even though I just said what I said, here's why I say you shouldn't beat yourself up over this one:

The moment you hesitated, internally you decided that THIS CHICK might be a keeper. And you subconsciously wanted to show her some "respect" by NOT boning her like she was a 2 dollar whhore----and you were a guy who JUST got released from prison.lol I believe that whether you admit it to yourself or not, your thoughts were heading in the direction of considering this woman for a relationship. So in the end, the fact that you DIDN'T fukk her, might have saved you some ADDITIONAL emotional torment down the road. Why? Because chicks like this ALWAYS go back to their exes...at least ONCE. And trust me, you didn't want to get TOO into her so quickly, and THEN have to go through THAT kind of drama.

And ONE more thing to remember is THIS:

Women, at least those of a higher quality, often worry about a man that they really like "RESPECTING" them. So any woman who would actually totally STOP seeing you just because you chose NOT to fukk her too soon is really NOT a woman who sees any value in YOU as a long term relationship.

You dodged A BULLET, soldier.



March on.

 

[kingwilliam]

Wow, that was a brilliant repsonse.....THANKS

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Hesitate and you are lost. Your situation was less about respecting anyone and more about striking while the iron was hot. Sex is all about chemical reaction and arousal, and this is just as true for the club girl as it is for the virtuous little flower you met at bible study. If anything you fell victim to your feminized conditioning in that you thought by delaying things you'd qualify yourself to her as "not like other guys" when in fact all you did was insult her by not being masculine enough to be sexual with her.

I understand this seems counterintuitive to a guy who believes what the feminized group-speak of our times has conditioned him to think is what a woman wants, but I strongly disagree with VICTORY on this. He'd have you think you did the right thing by "slowing things down", as if it was incumbent upon you to do so out of a sense of some self-righteous high ground, but the fact of the matter is you simply de-sexualized yourself at the worst possible moment. This doesn't make her a slut, nor does it make her "low quality" for not behaving in a manner you've been taught to think she ought to.

De-sexualizing yourself doesn't separate you as a uniquely, sensitive guy who stands apart from "other guys", it only makes you more like the rest of the AFC herd who've bought the feminized mentality. I mean, God forbid a woman should actually be complimented by knowing a guy wants to ƒuck her! It's just this desire to self-identify with what women tell you they want in a guy that steals your masculinity.

 

[Interceptor]

I have to go with RT on this one. Yeah, I feel it in my gut too.
Wrong move at the wrong time, KW.
But it's true, you should NOT beat yourself up. You won't get anywhere, except more miserable.


You treated her with "respect", when she said "GO"! You tried to pull a DHV, when she was already IN YOUR BED!! You hesitated, thereby creating an offense to her, and she felt you thought she wasn't sexy enough for you. She felt you got turned off by her. She also felt that you thought she was a slvt. You pulled the "Let's Wait", when she was ready to go!!! You gave her "Buyer's Remorse" and made her feel guilty and ashamed for getting nekkid. You made her feel embarassed when you touched her wetness, and STILL decided not go further.
OMFG, dude. Wrong moves, my man.
So wrong.

Guys, learn from KW's "error" (not failure), a naked woman in your bed is to be enjoyed deliciously.
Remember the old Manly Proverb from Psalm 1:2, from the Book of Manly Men according to the Lord:

He who doth hesitateth, doth masturbateth. Let ye see the sign of thy woman's arousal, and let ye take full advantage of thine Masculine Nature. For it is God's Gift to ye, Men, that he doth bringeth a lovely Lady to your bed chambers for you and she to enjoy and delight in your most intimate pleasures. And let it be known, oh Wise Men, that Ye bring no shame to you nor her if thou dost pursue that which by Divine Right is yours. But let ye be warned. For those who shall deny thy Lord's Gift, Ye shall be PUNISHED in the most furious way. For thou hast offended the Lord, and shall feel His Wrath unto thee.

 

[Vulpine]

He who doth hesitateth, doth masturbateth. Let ye see the sign of thy woman's arousal, and let ye take full advantage of thine Masculine Nature. For it is God's Gift to ye, Men, that he doth bringeth a lovely Lady to your bed chambers for you and she to enjoy and delight in your most intimate pleasures. And let it be known, oh Wise Men, that Ye bring no shame to you nor her if thou dost pursue that which by Divine Right is yours. But let ye be warned. For those who shall deny thy Lord's Gift, Ye shall be PUNISHED in the most furious way. For thou hast offended the Lord, and shall feel His Wrath unto thee.

In the name of the condom, the lube, and whøry spirit, amen.

 

[Interceptor]

Ad majorem Dei gloriam


Pax Robiscum.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Yea man, you should have tapped it. I banged my ex on the first night. We dated for 5 years after that. My ex: Grade school teacher, Masters Degree, 34DD, Blue eyes, curvy body...

So, the next time you're in the same situation (it will happen again), then you'll know what to do. :cheer:

 

[kingwilliam]

After a lot of deep thought on this subject, I have to agree that this was a pathetic error on my part. The one time I try something new, it blows up in my face, and not on hers....lol.

anyway, thanks for the comments and advice......hey, we live and learn, right???

And the proverb is wonderful. I just talked to her buddy [mutual friend] and she said, "did you know JaneDoe got back with JohnDoe?" I acted surprised and said, "well good for her, she's a nice girl"

In the back of my mind I was thinking, damn I should have worn that shid out!!! Just for ****zengiggles, I am going to see if I can somehow still make it happen....not dating....I am going to redeem myself.....and don't worry, I'm not one of these obsessive fall in love with every girl types.............I just hate LOSING...argggggghhh

Updates to come

 

[Sinistar]

I gotta side with Rollo too. And I'll add a different twist to this.

Let's say you were spinnin' 2-3 plates (initimacy readily available to you from another woman or two). I bet you would have reacted differently. This early in the stage of things (after just a date or two), you most likely wouldn't have been so enamored by her. And my guess then would be that you wouldn't have seen her as "the one" and you would have continued on to enjoy your "beautiful little goddess" while keeping things in perspective. The *perspective* being experience telling you that you need to really know a woman quite well before deciding she's in the exclusive / the-one category.

So you've learned quite abit from this blunder. You allowed your matrix programming to take over and it backfired on you. She most likely left feeling slvtty, or dirty or at the very least not desireable. At this point she'd probably rather tell you anything to keep you away than go into the topic further. And it's hard to imagine she would ever *feel* up for a do over of what was probably a very difficult experience for her.

Should you feel like sh!t for this. Yeah!!! But not because of her. She'll live. She'll survive. Stuff like that is part of life for a woman (ironically the by-product of their own drive for a feminized world). Heck, she was probably just looking for meaningless fling and you would have tossed you afterwards anyways.

Now where you should feel like and arse (and then immediately let it go) is that you allowed yourself fall victim to the programming all around you that Rollo pointed out. So dedicate your self-imposed [5 minute] sh!tty feeling period towards de-programming all that negative sh!t we've all bought into.

 

[joekerr31]

there is no way to salvage this. she basically shut you down and told you she is no longer available.

id drop the issue and move on. persuing her in any way will only make her feel like the prize - and it will probably get you a black eye from the boyfriend.

mind you the boyfriend sounds like an AFC so he probably wouldn't hit you. poor smuck just took back a chic that you were fingering the night before - probably has no idea his girl was up to that - sad sad sad.

you didn't lose anything that special anyway. VU is right, she was probably on a break from her boyfriend and wanted to sow her wild oats before going back to him.

so you didn't get laid, big deal, there are worse tragedies in life. now your mind is free to persue other women.

 

[kingwilliam]

I need to emphasize also that its not like she was completely naked and I stopped as I was about to insert...............................I never took off the panties.

And I have 5 or 6 women that I am currently envolved with, but I can't see myself dating them. She qualified. Its not that big of a deal, I am more or less trying to figure out why the fukk I WOULD MAKE SUCH A POOR DECISON..................like I said, I have been in this situation many, many, many times, with no hesitation whatsoever..................he who hesitateth, masterbateth....LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

[Victory Unlimited]

I understand this seems counterintuitive to a guy who believes what the feminized group-speak of our times has conditioned him to think is what a woman wants, but I strongly disagree with VICTORY on this. He'd have you think you did the right thing by "slowing things down", as if it was incumbent upon you to do so out of a sense of some self-righteous high ground, but the fact of the matter is you simply de-sexualized yourself at the worst possible moment. This doesn't make her a slut, nor does it make her "low quality" for not behaving in a manner you've been taught to think she ought to.

Sorry, but THIS is a TOTAL misrepresentation of what I wrote to KingWilliam. Rather, THIS is what I "actually" wrote----and it is the MAIN PREMISE of my entire message to the original poster:

Your problem came in when you decided to treat her like she was "relationship material" instead of as a "pin cushion"

Everything that follows...EVERYTHING...was written to support my view of KingWilliam's "possible" mindset as to how he may have been interpreting HIS OWN feelings and interactions with the woman in question.

So let's keep things in context here, shall we?



Carry on.

 

[Latinoman]

Hesitate and you are lost. Your situation was less about respecting anyone and more about striking while the iron was hot. Sex is all about chemical reaction and arousal, and this is just as true for the club girl as it is for the virtuous little flower you met at bible study. If anything you fell victim to your feminized conditioning in that you thought by delaying things you'd qualify yourself to her as "not like other guys" when in fact all you did was insult her by not being masculine enough to be sexual with her.

I understand this seems counterintuitive to a guy who believes what the feminized group-speak of our times has conditioned him to think is what a woman wants, but I strongly disagree with VICTORY on this. He'd have you think you did the right thing by "slowing things down", as if it was incumbent upon you to do so out of a sense of some self-righteous high ground, but the fact of the matter is you simply de-sexualized yourself at the worst possible moment. This doesn't make her a slut, nor does it make her "low quality" for not behaving in a manner you've been taught to think she ought to.

De-sexualizing yourself doesn't separate you as a uniquely, sensitive guy who stands apart from "other guys", it only makes you more like the rest of the AFC herd who've bought the feminized mentality. I mean, God forbid a woman should actually be complimented by knowing a guy wants to ƒuck her! It's just this desire to self-identify with what women tell you they want in a guy that steals your masculinity.

I strongly agree with this assessment.

I mean...the guy already went through the stages of communicating, dating, making out...and FINALLY the night in which he had her in her bed. And after undressing her and getting her super wet, he decides to pull out???

Only pull the plug if you have no desire (or second thoughts) about being with a woman or if you see some kind of evident health issues that become noticeable at the last moment. But that was not the case.

She decided that her ex-boyfriend was unique and decided to go back to him...especially after experiencing what she just experienced with you.

 

[kingwilliam]

UPDATE: all is not lost

News:

She called me last night and asked how I was, what I'd been up to.......etc..

anyway, she said that the the ex-boyfriend thing just isn't gonna work....... She asked me what I was doing tommorrow night (tonight)..........so basically we are gonna get together tonight and hang out with some friends.

Needless to say, I am unleashing my wrath on this girl tonight......no delays, no whimpy thoughts, no hesitation.......I'm back.

P.S. oh yeah, and needless to say I will never make such a stupid ****ing mistake again....

 

[cordoncordon]

Guys cmon. if you think this girl stopped seeing him because he didn't F her, you are wayyyyyyy overanalyzing. Hell, in my experience if you get a girl in bed, make out, touch each other, but don't F her? Her IL goes up 10 fold because I am "different". Only makes them want you more. I have never heard of a girl going on multiple dates with a guy, only to stop seeing him because he didn't F her the first night he had her in bed. If she likes him she likes him, not because he didn't F her one night. And if by some small chance this is the real reason? It's no one you want to be with anyway. She's a psycho.

My guess this is all because of the ex. Sometimes I think people on here way overanalyze what is really going on.

 

[cordoncordon]

Ok just read your last update William, which only confirms my suspicions. She was getting back together with the ex. Now that things didn't work out, shes back calling William. Again, I have just never heard of a girl to stop seeing some guy because he didnt bang her one night. Now, if that was a pattern that lasted for weeks or months? Yeah, i've heard of a girl no longer seeing someone, but not over one time.

On a side note william, you need to think about if you want to be with this girl, someone so wishy washy. Bang her yeah, but I wouldn't hold out for a relationship.

 

[squirrels]

It's not rude. You just made it awkward by stopping in the middle of it.

Either she now feels like a slvt for messing around with you in the first place, or she's assuming you're a poor lover. She'll say she's impressed...because that's what society wants her to say when a guy wants to wait. But her behavior doesn't lie.