Dark Chivalry
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2007
- Messages
- 188
- Reaction score
- 2
I agree, *she* is the AFC in the relationship.On Point said:It's nice that she cares and everything but it sounds like she doesn't have much of a life of her own. You should talk to her about it and set some boundaries as far as how much time you want to spend together. Her behavior probably isn't healthy for her either, she needs to work on *her* inner game, lol.
The thing is, if *you* are setting the boundaries, she will only become more clingy because she will be more insecure. DJ techniques work.
If you are the AFC and she is distant, you act cool to get her to warm up and become more clingy.
What do you want?How do i use this to my advantage?
If you like the way the relationship is right now, keep on doing what you do.
If you want her to go from AFC to DJ, take her to Barnes&Noble, self improvemnt section. Her self esteem will then be outside your control though.
If you want to changy the dynamic of the relationship while controlling her self esteem, you can use the workings of DJ to raise her self esteem a bit.
You could raise it by being more open about the things you do, saying you were thinking about her, giving a compliment, taking her out on a nice date.
You can lower it by being mysterious, evasive, by not calling, neg hits etc.
Management of a girl's self esteem gives you more control over the behaviour of a LTR.
To help her get a life, listen to her about the things she enjoys doing and encourage her to spend time on a specific pursuit by giving her compliments when she accomplishes something in that hobby. If she likes to write, act like you are crazy about her stories, if knitting is her thing, appreciate the scarves and sweaters she made, if she does ballet, admire her progress as a ballerina.
This works especially well on insecure chicks who live for your compliments.
I prefer to be with girls longer myself and having a chick who is improving herself within the boundaries of your guidance is the best of both worlds.