How I went from being a negative pessimist to a positive optimist
UPDATE, May 2007: How I went from being a negative pessimist to a positive optimist (and it wasn't by changing myself)
There is good news now. As I'm writing this from the Philippines, I am happy to say that I am now a perpetual happy and positive optimist. How did I do it, you might ask?
Well it's simple, but it wasn't by changing "myself" (for I wasn't the problem). And it wasn't by changing my attitude, thoughts or going through some self-help/pop psychology/New Age program or seminar. In fact, I didn't even have to change myself or who I was. I just remained the same person. Instead, it was simply by changing my geographic LOCATION, environment and culture, entering another world so to speak. Let me explain.
In the US, no one talks to me except old people, I can't get any dates at all, women are completely anti-social to me, strangers act like I don't exist, and I am totally ignored and feel like I don't exist. Unfortunately, women in America generally don’t like to meet new people. They don’t even talk to you unless you are in their clique or they grew up with you, or it’s business-related. And that’s unacceptable to me. But everything I do to try to change all that seems futile, as if trying to change any of it goes completely against the flow and against the grain, inappropriate and out-of-bounds! Ick! It's a no-win situation, or a serious incompatibility at least.
So, with everything that I am suppressed, strangled, and invalidated, how could I possibly be happy or positive, when I can't be who I truly am or act out my nature of being an outgoing fun vibrant social butterfly? It's simply not possible, nor is it natural.
But on the other hand, here in the Philippines, I can be who I truly am, and when I do so, it gets very POSITIVE results! The social environment here completely allows, encourages, and adds fuel to my very social outgoing nature, especially with women! Here, I NEVER have to be alone if I don't want to. I ALWAYS have many hot women to choose from, of all types - dark skin (chocolate), light skin (vanilla), medium olive color, cute, sexy, tall or short, etc. Often I have so many contenders that I don't have time for them all and have to cancel a lot of plans!
Best of all, these sweet cuties and angels in turn see me as attractive, handsome, cute, interesting, charming, significant to them, etc. etc. and that completely VALIDATES who I am! I completely exist and matter to the women that I'm ATTRACTED to here! And that's HUGE! It means more than words can say. Everyday here, I feel like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise! Literally. No exaggerating here.
Thus, I am finally allowed to be the social butterfly that I am, as well as positive, confident, optimistic and happy. How can I not be, when all my fantasies and desires and wants/needs are being fulfilled here, naturally and with the flow too!? Simply put, who I am is ACCENTUATED here, rather than invalidated or suppressed.
Some people here even say that I'm the most positive and confident person they've ever met. (If only they knew where I was coming from!) The difference is astounding. It's like a completely different universe where I'm a completely different person. The magnitude of my dating life here is literally "out of this world" (out of the world of America that is).
And it's not because they all want my money (although there are always a portion of bad apples, scammers, and hustlers here that I can run into), as many girls don't care about my money and STILL like/love me even after knowing that I'm a cheapskate and very frugal. Many nice angels here don't even care if I spend money on our dates, as they just like "being with me".
In fact, some of the relationships I have here even eclipse the romances portrayed in Hollywood films, to the point where when I watch them, I say to myself, "I have a lot better than that in real life!" And that's something I could NEVER EVER have said in the USA! In fact, I don’t even watch TV here (like the millions of couch potatoes in America, of which I used to be one of) because I have no need to, as my REAL LIFE is more exciting to me than what’s on the tube!
The most significant difference for me is this: When I am sociable and outgoing to girls in the US, they think I'm a creep, and react with hatred and/or antisociality. But when I am sociable and outgoing to girls in the Philippines (and in most other countries), their response is overwhelmingly positive, and react with enthusiasm and/or attraction. That's a whole world of difference. As an incredible example, when I go to the local mall here in the Philippines, about 90 percent of the girls will give me their number if I ask for it, even if they are really hot and the kind that you would say “ouch!” and consider out of your league! 90 percent! But in the states, that percentage is…….. yep you guessed it, zero! What a universe of difference! In fact, most of the time, they enjoy being "picked up" and "hit on", finding me charming and attractive. And my sweet talk and compliments make them feel good about themselves, so they like being with me.
In my opinion, Filipinas make the best girlfriends, lovers, and friends. Compared to females in the other Asian countries, they aren't as strict, serious, prudish or hung up. Instead, they are relaxed, carefree, happy go lucky, easygoing, playful and sensual. They are also very nonjudgmental and nonracist. And they have a great sense of humor, enjoying the silliest things which easily amuse them. Thus, you can always have fun and joke around or play with them, even if you have nothing else to talk about. That's so nice and refreshing, especially when you are so accustomed to antisociality and hostility from women in the US.
Best of all, they LOVE to flirt. When I flirt with girls in the Philippines, they not only enjoy it, but it actually ADDS FUEL to our chemistry (whereas in the US, flirting with girls "creeped" them out and emanated a vibe of hostility from them). And that's a big thing to me, because I am a big-time flirt!
Filipinas are also a great blend of outer and inner traits. Ethnically, they are Asian, Malay and Spanish, resulting in a very exotic and beautiful mix that is very pleasing and sensual to the eyes. Their exotic sexy sensual olive complexion ranges from light to dark shades, all of which are sexy to me and many other foreigners here. And their attractive highly feminine appearance is combined with a tender romantic loving/caring inner side to them – a fantastic blend to say the least. Not to sound racist, but just as brown sugar is healthier than white sugar, and brown rice is healthier than white rice, (as any nutritionist will tell you) brown skinned women seem to be healthier for your mind, body, and sanity as well. They seem to bring this natural balance to your life and soul. Thus, I’d say that even if you didn’t have a taste for Filipinas or Asian women before, if you come to the Philippines, you soon will.
Although Filipinas aren't as intellectual, educated, or deep-thinking as the European women are, they make up for it in their other qualities. They have this essence about them, and have this way of treating you that makes you feel needed and loved, like a real man, in a way that you had always wished and dreamed deep down but never dared hoped for. It's beyond words - something you have to feel and experience as a man to understand. And when you do, you realize it's what you had always wanted.and even friends. They are tender, sweet, passionate and fun.
In a way, it's like they give new birth to your heart, for if your heart had lost faith in love, they awaken it and renew it with their child-like hope and belief in love, making it a reality for you, and making you a believer again as well.
The bottom line for me is that here in the Philippines, I feel APPRECIATED, VALUED, DESIRED, WANTED, LIKED, LOVED, NEEDED, etc. (I have cute girls following me around as if they’re hypnotized!) whereas in North America I constantly felt ALIENATED, ALONE, IGNORED, UNDESIRED, UNWANTED, NONEXISTENT, and worst of all POWERLESS to do anything about it. In short, all my WANTS, NEEDS, DESIRES, and FANTASIES are fulfilled here.
Basically, it’s like this: Here, there is ALWAYS ACTION to be had, so I am never bored. I can always go out, have fun, get hot girls, and any type of action I want or need, ANYTIME! Contrast that to back in the states, where I was forced to stay home all the time, as no one wanted to meet me if I went out, so there was no point. There was nothing to do, no action to be had, no one to meet, no fun to be had, etc. It was complete boredom and suffocation, as well as loneliness and isolation. (Yuck!) But now that I can get action anytime I want here, or have fun whenever I want, there’s a reason for me to go out everyday! Wow. I NEVER have to stay home and be bored if I don’t want to here! In fact, there’s always something going on here that is fun and wild that I can PARTICIPATE in interactively (I won’t give you specifics, but leave it up to your imagination), not just sit back and watch passively, more than there is time for! Best of all, there are ALWAYS tons of hot/sexy/cute/gorgeous girls who constantly want to meet me, be with me, have fun with me, get wild with me, and whatever escalates between us, MORE than I can handle! It’s literally a “sex babe Disneyland”!
(continued in next post)
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